FicWad

Chapter 49

I took my sunglasses in the deepest shade of black from my sunglasses wrack and covered my eyes with them. I passed my hand through my two braids at each side of my neck and threw my purse into my shoulder. I took the keys from the car Jess had rented for me and locked the door behind me. I wasn’t really surprised to see the red-haired boy beside my car.
“Get out” I told him, since he was blocking the driver’s door.
“Pissy mood, huh?”
“If you don’t move this minute I’m gonna yell as fast as I can for security. There’s a camera behind you dumbass so whatever you do, it’s on tape”
He nodded, apparently aware of it, and let me enter the car and drive away. I didn’t see him following me. I turned on the radio and skipped through the radiostations until one caught my attention, since they had mentioned my name.
“/ Celebrities these days! Be sure to catch Gabrielle O’Connor’s pictures of her fighting with her manager. I guarantee you extra fun. Here’s a scoop, she throws a vase at her! Yes, yes, yes, I’m not kidding! You can find this in any.../” I shut down the radio and took several deep breaths.
I knew he had been taking pictures, I wasn’t aware he was publishing them, though! And the most embarrasing! Surely there were some of me crying on the floor, a total wreck! I tried to calm myself and decided against calling Jess. I didn’t want to ridicule myself much longer. I parked outside the place we were shooting and got off the car quickly. My phone vibrated against my thigh.
“Yes?” I asked, not in the mood of warm and fuzzy hello’s.
“Is this a bad time?” I heard Gerard ask through the other end of the line. Saying I was surprised would be a bloody understatement.
“Not at all...what’s up?”
“I’ve...I’ve been worried about you...” He mumbled. I knew enough about him to guess what he was thinking: he wanted to show his concern without seeming too eager.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mhm....Ever since you called me and then....the things on the radio, and internet....”
“Oh yeah. I guess there’s /no stalker/, right?” I snapped without thiking.
Gerard sighed on the other end of the line,
“There’s no need to get all pissed with me, Gabe. For all you know, it could be any random person taking those pictures” He said in a matter-of-fact voice.
“Fine. I’m done with fighting with you people. You alrady know I’m fine and dandy so there’s no need for the chit chat. If I appear dead on the news, well, I guess something happened. Goddbye Gerard-“
“Gabe! Wai-“
/Beep/.
“Why is everyone so fucking interested in having me have a bad day? Goddammit.
As I walked towards the shooting area I noticed how all the crew memebers looked at me oddly as if expecting me to suddenly combust. I sighed in annoyance and tried my best to look fine and friendly to everyone.

There was a break for some time and I didn’t want to eat my food and have everyone stare at me the same annoying way they’d been doing so far. Instead, I sat in a relatively far away place and took my cellphone out.
Is there any call I need to make?
Ugh...Bert...not planning on doing that...
Maybe...
“I’m asleep” Mikey groaned from the other end of the line.
“Then wakeup Mikes! I still have 15 minutes of break!” I yelled into the speaker.
“Mrs Gabrielle O’Connor. What a pleasure to hear your voice!”
“Don’t be condescendent Mikey Way...”
“Oh yes, I’ve been told you’re in one of those moods lately.”
I groaned, “By your faithful brother?”
“Yup. And the tv, and the radio, and buzznet, and myspace, and-“
“Okay, I got it!” I sighed.
Mikey laughed on the other end.
“So...what’ve you been up to?” I asked casually.
“Mmm, me and Alicia are pretty serious. We moved in together. We have a kid already...”
“A KID?!”
“Yeah” He laughed, “Well, she’s a cat actually. But Alicia hates it when I call her like that. So I must say a kid or no sex for me...”
“Geez, Mikes you don’t have to tell that to your sister! No sister likes to hear her brother’s sex issues!” I bit my lip as I finished my sentence. When Gerard and I were together we used to talk as if we were brothers. It was the kind of inside joke, just as the guys sometimes called us G Way to both us, since they said we would marry.
“erm, Gabe?”
“Sorry, I spazzed out”
“Got that. What were you thinking about”
“About the moronic days in which I thought marrying your brother wasn’t such a ridiculous thought.”
“oh, but it isn’t” He assured me.
“It is.” One of the crew members waved at me, “Hey Mikes, I gotta go. Go back to sleep”
“Sure, ditch your brother whenever you feel like it!”
I smiled. I knew he really meant that. Me being her sister, that is.
“Hey Mikey?”
“Yeah?”
“I miss you. A lot.”
“I miss you too”
I hung up before I became sentimental and followed the guy to continue shooting.

I didn't even notice winter was here until I saw the snowflakes falling as we wrapped up the shoot. Apparently I had unconciously dug out my winter clothes because I wasn't feeling any cold at all in my knee-high leather boots, deep purple thick fabric leggins, a long-sleeved pink and white shirt and a long, fake fur coat. I started playing with the snowflakes until I heard people screaming my name and felt them gathering up around me.
"Gabe! Can you sign this??!"
"Oh my God! Can I get a picture with you?"
"Hey, where did you guy that coat?"
"Picture! Picture!"
I smiled at the eager fans and answered their questions, and did their requests. I wasn't in a hurry so I just kept talking. Then I heard a voice near my ear that whispered soflty,
"It's time,Gabe. You can't be mine, then you'll be no one's"
Time stopped. The last thing I saw was a young woman with a little girl in her arms...
Maybe it was because of I was falling, or because I was loosing conciousness, or because I really wanted to see her...but for some reason that child looked exactly like my own. Like my own little girl.
She laughed.
Her father's laugh.
I regretted not being able to love someone enough to make them love me back.
I regretted not being a functional human being.
I hated....
not being able to love anyone like I loved my daughter.
....
Shit.