Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > We can settle this affair.
I must have really fallen asleep cause I woke up drenched in sweat and trembling, my night was haunted with nightmares, some of Diana and her gang's ugly mugs but the one repetitive of Geetard carving his name on my skin was so realistic I could sense his touch.
Switching on the night lamp, I examined my stomach but it still said Diana, by the look of it, it will remain Diana for as long as I live, the D was really carved in but the other letters were less jammed, it made me feel sick.
Glancing at the radio clock on the night stand, I sighed, 4 AM and I'm wide awake, I got up and headed for the bathroom for a glass of water.
Seeing myself in the mirror sent little pulses to my heart, I looked horrible, my face was swollen and the hazel of my eyes swam in a sea of blood and lets not talk about the hair, and Geetard fucked this? I touched my face in disbelief, but on second thought he's not much better on a daily bases, always gloomy and brooding, pale like a fucking ghost, that's when you actually see his face under that curtain of greasy hair.
I opened the cabinet where I keep all my make up in search of the concealer and make up, I had a few cuts on my face too, on my jaw line and lip, I tried to cover up the cuts on my arms too, at least these which were on my fingers and wrists but no matter how much I dabbed and smeared or how much make up I poured, I couldn't completely cover them and the faint outline of the cut peeked through the cover up as if to spite me, mock me.
I got so mad, I threw the little bottle on the floor and stepped back as it smashed to thousand little pieces, spilling the skin tone lotion all over the floor.
'Fuck', I grabbed a few paper towels to clean up the mess but as I was picking up the shreds, it cut my finger.
'Fuck',I hissed to myself again, 'Another cut for the fucking collection'
I threw down the paper towel roll I was holding and stormed off to find my pill bottle but it wasn't anywhere to be found, not under the bed, not in the closet, not in the drawers, or on the desk, fucking no where! not even in my pockets and I know cause I went over every single pocket in my entire wardrobe and the damn pill bottle was no where to be found, in the mean time the sun was starting to send it's first rays of light, rays of light my ass, I threw the curtain shut, I need my motherfucking pills!
I wrecked my room until I found my precious bottle, literally wrecked it, if it wasn't for the walls I myself painted dark blue I would've denied any connection whatsoever to this room, but the feel of the little bottle against my palm brought so much relief I was willing to wreck it all over again.
I swallowed two pills and gave them a while to cast their spell before heading to the bathroom to clean up the mess I've made.
After I finished cleaning up, I looked around with a smile on my face, I clean shit well...Fuck if I ever get kicked out of school that should be my career path, there's a lot you can do with that skill, cleaning houses, offices, hotels, school...Fuck I can even be a janitor! And I would make a hot janitor! Every senior would want me to clean their locker....Hmmm I could even supply that service...Although it will cost them more...How much does a janitor whore charges these days?...I'm soo hungry...
I skipped the stairs two at the time only to trip over something that lay at the bottom of the stairs, I looked around to see a suitcase.
Panicking I glanced around the hall and spotted at least another 4 suitcases, all looking packed and ready to roll, the air was sucked out of me. I knew it! Dad is gonna leave us! He found out what that bitch was doing and decided to leave and who could blame him but I don't want daddy to leave me, I loved him so much.
Tears welled in my eyes as I got up, rubbing my bruised knees and following the trail of suitcases to the kitchen where my dad stood drinking his usual coffee, deeply absorbed in the morning paper.
"Daddy don't leave," I tackled him in a bone crushing hug.
He chocked a little on his coffee, "Viola"
"Please please don't leave!," I buried my face in his chest.
"Honey," he wrapped his arms around me, "It won't be for long"
"Everybody says that and doesn't come back," I sniffled in his shirt.
"Well as much as I love the city I love Jersey more," he smiled, stroking my head.
"So you'll live close by?," I refused to let him out of my grip, fearing that the moment I will he'll
fade and remain a memory or perhaps a dream I made up.
"What?"
"I mean I can get why would you leave mom but don't leave me, please!"
"Why would I leave mom?," he tore me from his chest and pushed my chin up with his
finger, "What are you talking about, Viola?"
OK...So he doesn't know about her....What do I do now? What the fuck do I do now? Me and my larger then life mouth, "So what are all these suitcases about?, " I smiled widely.
"You haven't answered me, Viola," he used his harsh tone, the one he used when I told grandma that he said she looks like a cow in the meadow in her favorite green dress...She sorta did, I chuckled at the image.
"What?," I stalled like my life was depending on it, and in a way they were, life as I know it depends on the lie I would be able to make up.
He narrowed his eyes at me, his green browsing my hazel for clues, "You said you'd understand if I left mom. Why would you say that?"
"Oh that," I giggled, "I was kidding, we have auditions for a play about a broken family so I was practising"
He frowned, still scanning my face thoughtfully, "You want to be in a play? I thought you were effing the school system with their stupid teachers and plastic drama and that was a quote"
"Yeah well...," I bit my lip, "Why not?"
He hummed, still holding my gaze...Do not look away, under no circumstance don't look away...Not even if the roof falls through do not fucking look away!
"So what's with all the suitcases then?"
"We're going for that conference thing, I know it's kinda last minute but you know you're mom, everything with her is kinda last minute," he smiled but didn't look away.
"Oh you're telling me," I chuckled, "Should I pack or something"
"In fact you should," he glanced at his clock, "We wanted to tell you last night but you were already sleeping, it was early though, had a rough day?"
"Kinda," I shrugged.
"Well there's your chance to rest," he ruffled my hair, "You go pack and get ready we're leaving at noon-ish"
"Kay," I nodded and left the kitchen.
It was only when I closed the door to my room, I allowed myself to exhale. That was so fucking close! So close I still can feel my heart beat going through the roof, I almost opened the fucking Pandora box!
Switching on the night lamp, I examined my stomach but it still said Diana, by the look of it, it will remain Diana for as long as I live, the D was really carved in but the other letters were less jammed, it made me feel sick.
Glancing at the radio clock on the night stand, I sighed, 4 AM and I'm wide awake, I got up and headed for the bathroom for a glass of water.
Seeing myself in the mirror sent little pulses to my heart, I looked horrible, my face was swollen and the hazel of my eyes swam in a sea of blood and lets not talk about the hair, and Geetard fucked this? I touched my face in disbelief, but on second thought he's not much better on a daily bases, always gloomy and brooding, pale like a fucking ghost, that's when you actually see his face under that curtain of greasy hair.
I opened the cabinet where I keep all my make up in search of the concealer and make up, I had a few cuts on my face too, on my jaw line and lip, I tried to cover up the cuts on my arms too, at least these which were on my fingers and wrists but no matter how much I dabbed and smeared or how much make up I poured, I couldn't completely cover them and the faint outline of the cut peeked through the cover up as if to spite me, mock me.
I got so mad, I threw the little bottle on the floor and stepped back as it smashed to thousand little pieces, spilling the skin tone lotion all over the floor.
'Fuck', I grabbed a few paper towels to clean up the mess but as I was picking up the shreds, it cut my finger.
'Fuck',I hissed to myself again, 'Another cut for the fucking collection'
I threw down the paper towel roll I was holding and stormed off to find my pill bottle but it wasn't anywhere to be found, not under the bed, not in the closet, not in the drawers, or on the desk, fucking no where! not even in my pockets and I know cause I went over every single pocket in my entire wardrobe and the damn pill bottle was no where to be found, in the mean time the sun was starting to send it's first rays of light, rays of light my ass, I threw the curtain shut, I need my motherfucking pills!
I wrecked my room until I found my precious bottle, literally wrecked it, if it wasn't for the walls I myself painted dark blue I would've denied any connection whatsoever to this room, but the feel of the little bottle against my palm brought so much relief I was willing to wreck it all over again.
I swallowed two pills and gave them a while to cast their spell before heading to the bathroom to clean up the mess I've made.
After I finished cleaning up, I looked around with a smile on my face, I clean shit well...Fuck if I ever get kicked out of school that should be my career path, there's a lot you can do with that skill, cleaning houses, offices, hotels, school...Fuck I can even be a janitor! And I would make a hot janitor! Every senior would want me to clean their locker....Hmmm I could even supply that service...Although it will cost them more...How much does a janitor whore charges these days?...I'm soo hungry...
I skipped the stairs two at the time only to trip over something that lay at the bottom of the stairs, I looked around to see a suitcase.
Panicking I glanced around the hall and spotted at least another 4 suitcases, all looking packed and ready to roll, the air was sucked out of me. I knew it! Dad is gonna leave us! He found out what that bitch was doing and decided to leave and who could blame him but I don't want daddy to leave me, I loved him so much.
Tears welled in my eyes as I got up, rubbing my bruised knees and following the trail of suitcases to the kitchen where my dad stood drinking his usual coffee, deeply absorbed in the morning paper.
"Daddy don't leave," I tackled him in a bone crushing hug.
He chocked a little on his coffee, "Viola"
"Please please don't leave!," I buried my face in his chest.
"Honey," he wrapped his arms around me, "It won't be for long"
"Everybody says that and doesn't come back," I sniffled in his shirt.
"Well as much as I love the city I love Jersey more," he smiled, stroking my head.
"So you'll live close by?," I refused to let him out of my grip, fearing that the moment I will he'll
fade and remain a memory or perhaps a dream I made up.
"What?"
"I mean I can get why would you leave mom but don't leave me, please!"
"Why would I leave mom?," he tore me from his chest and pushed my chin up with his
finger, "What are you talking about, Viola?"
OK...So he doesn't know about her....What do I do now? What the fuck do I do now? Me and my larger then life mouth, "So what are all these suitcases about?, " I smiled widely.
"You haven't answered me, Viola," he used his harsh tone, the one he used when I told grandma that he said she looks like a cow in the meadow in her favorite green dress...She sorta did, I chuckled at the image.
"What?," I stalled like my life was depending on it, and in a way they were, life as I know it depends on the lie I would be able to make up.
He narrowed his eyes at me, his green browsing my hazel for clues, "You said you'd understand if I left mom. Why would you say that?"
"Oh that," I giggled, "I was kidding, we have auditions for a play about a broken family so I was practising"
He frowned, still scanning my face thoughtfully, "You want to be in a play? I thought you were effing the school system with their stupid teachers and plastic drama and that was a quote"
"Yeah well...," I bit my lip, "Why not?"
He hummed, still holding my gaze...Do not look away, under no circumstance don't look away...Not even if the roof falls through do not fucking look away!
"So what's with all the suitcases then?"
"We're going for that conference thing, I know it's kinda last minute but you know you're mom, everything with her is kinda last minute," he smiled but didn't look away.
"Oh you're telling me," I chuckled, "Should I pack or something"
"In fact you should," he glanced at his clock, "We wanted to tell you last night but you were already sleeping, it was early though, had a rough day?"
"Kinda," I shrugged.
"Well there's your chance to rest," he ruffled my hair, "You go pack and get ready we're leaving at noon-ish"
"Kay," I nodded and left the kitchen.
It was only when I closed the door to my room, I allowed myself to exhale. That was so fucking close! So close I still can feel my heart beat going through the roof, I almost opened the fucking Pandora box!
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