Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Living in Panic
The month leading up to the tour was uneventful. I bought presents for everyone on the tour, and extra big something’s for the Cobra’s and Academy’s for letting me crash their bus. I also splashed out a lot on Ryan’s present – a gold I.D bracelet, on which on the back was etched ‘Em and Ryan, forever and always’.
I was also getting sick a lot. For the week leading up it was throwing up in the morning, and I found out that some of the food and drinks I liked wouldn’t stay down anymore. I had a fairly good idea of what it was, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone about it. Because we were pretty much the only non-Chicago based band in the Decaydance family, we had to make our way up to Chicago, our first stop on the tour, which didn’t pass well with Brendon.
“But you two are going to sneak into the back of the bus and noisily screw each others brains out!”
“Bren, it’s only a five hour trip, and I’m not feeling well, and I don’t want Ryan to catch it, so we won’t be doing anything like that. I think I’ll just chill out up front with my laptop and update things and write some more.” That stopped his whining.
The five hour long trip only felt like it had taken two when we reached the Decaydance head office in Chicago, where we were meeting up with the other five bands and settling in on our buses before heading off to the venue. As soon as I saw Gabe, I couldn’t help but yell out the first thing that came into my head.“Hey, Snake-boy!” I didn’t necessarily mean it was a good first thing! All of Cobra turned their heads, and then headed in my general direction, soon to be joined by Pete.
“Okay, now I’ve told all the other bands this, we’ve got our performance order for the tour sorted. First up is Cobra for an hour, then Paramore for an hour, then Panic for an hour, then it will by Academy for an hour, Gym Class for 45 minutes, then Fall Out Boy for 1 hour to wrap it all up. Now I’m off to the bus – any questions can be asked to me on there.” Pete then walked off, and Cobra decided to give us all hello’s, first giving me and the boys hugs, and then taking something from me and heading to the bus, telling me that it was where the TAI guys were waiting for me.
I quickly said goodbye to the boys, and stopped in front of Ryan.
“Until the venue baby,” I said, before kissing him hungrily. As I turned to leave, I felt Ryan slap my ass.
“You are so gonna get it for that Ross,” I said looking back, before skipping the rest of the distance to what is now my lovely purple bus – Gabe must have convinced Pete to let him have it. Once I got on board, another huge round of “hello’s” and “good to see you’s” and “have fun on the break’s” commenced and I wandered back to the bunk area.
“We all agreed that we wouldn’t choose bunks until you’re on board and have picked out yours, so go ahead and find the one that best suits you,” William said from behind me. I chose the one the closest to the common room part of the bus, so I could always hear what was going on in the whole bus. It’s where I always slept back on the Panic tour bus. As soon as I threw some stuff onto the bunk, claiming it as my own, there was mad scramble around me to get the best bunk position. Gabe ended up on the bunk above me, William on the one across the walkway from me, Vicky above William, Michael on the bunk behind mine, Sisky above Michael, Mike across from Michael, Nate above Mike, Suarez behind Mike, Ryland above Suarez, Butcher across from Suarez and a bunk for extra storage space above Butcher.
Gound Bunks: BCK OF BUS
Butcher Suarez
Michael Mike
Em William
Top Bunks: BACK OF BUS
STORAGE Ryland
Sisky Nate
Gabe Vicky
Behind the set of bunks that Ryland etc. had claimed was the tiny bathroom, which housed a shower, sink, vanity mirror and toilet, and then in front of my set of bunks was the common room/kitchenette area. Whilst everyone was still in the bunk area, I called for attention.
“Okay, now I don’t know if you have ground rules on this bus, but on the Panic bus we do, and I’d just like to tell you as I’ll be sticking to them. Rule number 1 is a huge deal to me, and most likely everyone else on this bus for that matter: NO NUDITY!” Everyone agreed to that rule without complaint.
“Rule number two, and it’s another one that people will want to comply with, and it’s a rule made on every single bus: If using the bathroom, for god’s sake no number two’s!” Agreement and laughter could be heard.
“Number three: If you are sick, tell people so that they can either help you or have been warned in case it’s contagious. This rule mainly goes for me at the moment – I am sick with the flu, so vocalists don’t come too close.” I lied again, and everyone took in the information.
“And my final rule, number four. No sexual activities on the bus, whether known of or secretive. Even I will abide by this rule!” More laughter.
“Does anyone have any other rules?”
“This is not a rule per se, but if people want to talk personal, everyone else on this bus will be there for them, and will not tell anyone off the bus who it is and what’s happened, unless they ask or another person needs to be told,” Michael said. Everyone one of us except him had confused expressions, and he delved deeper.
“An example of another person needing to know is if for example, and I know this is probably never going to happen, but if Em falls pregnant and can’t face telling Ryan, but she tells us because she’ll need someone to hang with her all the time in case she is ill, one of us is allowed to tell Ryan, because it’s life changing news.”
“Why do people always use me as examples?” I said in an angered voice, knowing that they were close to spot on with why I was sick.
“And whatever happens on this bus when we are drunk stays between the members of this bus and never need to be told to anyone else.” Gabe piped in.
“And guys, no being pervy when Em or I are changing or are in the bathroom, okay?” Vicky added.
“So those are our rules, and try to stick by them,” I said, glaring at Ryland and Suarez, as they are known for breaking rules. We all headed off in our own ways; Vicky, Ryland, Suarez and Nate staying in the bunk area, presumably about to talk about set lists; Mike, Sisky, Butcher and Michael into the kitchenette, preparing afternoon tea for us, and Gabe and William…wait, where were Gabe and William?
I headed into the front of the common area, and could see a purple (Gabe) and a red (William) dot moving towards the back of the building.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I told Sisky, before heading off the bus and following where William and Gabe were minutes before. I soon came across them in a compromising position – Gabe had William backed against the wall of the Decaydance building, and was kissing him feverishly, and William was trying to get his hand down Gabe’s pants.
“Oh my god,” I gasped out, grabbing their attention and stopping the actions before me.
“You won’t tell anyone, will you?” William asked, going shy all of a sudden.
“I won’t. I agreed to a rule where confidentiality would be kept unless asked not to, and I plan to stick with the rule.”
“Thank you,” Gabe and William said at the same time.
“Back to the bus boys. The remaining TAI boys are making afternoon tea before we head off to the venue.” We all walked back together, but just before we got onto the bus, I doubled over in pain. Gabe hurried over to me, whilst William hurried on the bus, presumably to get more help.
“Em, are you okay?” Gabe asked, bending down so that he was level with me.
“No, and if I were you, I’d stand back cause I think I’m about to throw up.” Gabe moved so that he was behind me just in time, before I vomited in the bushes by the bus. I wiped my mouth with the tissue he handed to me, and headed into the bus.
“Do you want me to get Ryan for you?” William asked from the door to the bunk area.
“No thanks, I’m fine now. I think I’ll just go lay down.” I pushed past his and settled myself in my bunk. I could hear faint whispers from the lounge room and a very clear whisper: Gabe, take up my bunk for now and stay with her in case she’s still not well – I think she trusts you the most out of us lot. It was William who said it, and in a matter of seconds Gabe had entered the bunk area.
“Gabe, can you lie with me a sec?” I asked in a quiet voice. He slipped into the bunk beside me, and I curled into him. He placed his hands loosely around my hips, and I whispered something in a barely audible voice.
“Sorry Em, I didn’t quite catch that.”
“I said that it’s not the flu I’ve got, that I am in actual fact…pregnant.” Tears were spilling down my cheeks, and Gabe gently shushed me.
“Congratulations Em. I bet you and Ryan are really happy.”
“I haven’t told him. I don’t know for definite, but I have pretty good idea that I’m correct. Please don’t tell him, or anyone else for that matter what I just said. Please Gabe?”
“I won’t I promise. But I suggest that you tell Ryan soon what with all the being sick and stuff – it might interfere with your show tonight.”
“I’ll try. Anyway, the boys told me that I’m not dancing tonight, I’m only singing for a few songs, so it’s not that much of a big deal.”
“Okay. I’m going to lay in Bill’s bunk for a while and keep an eye on you from there, okay?” I nodded and he got off my bunk and laid himself in William’s. I rolled over so that I was facing the wall and drifted off to a dreamless sleep.
I was also getting sick a lot. For the week leading up it was throwing up in the morning, and I found out that some of the food and drinks I liked wouldn’t stay down anymore. I had a fairly good idea of what it was, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone about it. Because we were pretty much the only non-Chicago based band in the Decaydance family, we had to make our way up to Chicago, our first stop on the tour, which didn’t pass well with Brendon.
“But you two are going to sneak into the back of the bus and noisily screw each others brains out!”
“Bren, it’s only a five hour trip, and I’m not feeling well, and I don’t want Ryan to catch it, so we won’t be doing anything like that. I think I’ll just chill out up front with my laptop and update things and write some more.” That stopped his whining.
The five hour long trip only felt like it had taken two when we reached the Decaydance head office in Chicago, where we were meeting up with the other five bands and settling in on our buses before heading off to the venue. As soon as I saw Gabe, I couldn’t help but yell out the first thing that came into my head.“Hey, Snake-boy!” I didn’t necessarily mean it was a good first thing! All of Cobra turned their heads, and then headed in my general direction, soon to be joined by Pete.
“Okay, now I’ve told all the other bands this, we’ve got our performance order for the tour sorted. First up is Cobra for an hour, then Paramore for an hour, then Panic for an hour, then it will by Academy for an hour, Gym Class for 45 minutes, then Fall Out Boy for 1 hour to wrap it all up. Now I’m off to the bus – any questions can be asked to me on there.” Pete then walked off, and Cobra decided to give us all hello’s, first giving me and the boys hugs, and then taking something from me and heading to the bus, telling me that it was where the TAI guys were waiting for me.
I quickly said goodbye to the boys, and stopped in front of Ryan.
“Until the venue baby,” I said, before kissing him hungrily. As I turned to leave, I felt Ryan slap my ass.
“You are so gonna get it for that Ross,” I said looking back, before skipping the rest of the distance to what is now my lovely purple bus – Gabe must have convinced Pete to let him have it. Once I got on board, another huge round of “hello’s” and “good to see you’s” and “have fun on the break’s” commenced and I wandered back to the bunk area.
“We all agreed that we wouldn’t choose bunks until you’re on board and have picked out yours, so go ahead and find the one that best suits you,” William said from behind me. I chose the one the closest to the common room part of the bus, so I could always hear what was going on in the whole bus. It’s where I always slept back on the Panic tour bus. As soon as I threw some stuff onto the bunk, claiming it as my own, there was mad scramble around me to get the best bunk position. Gabe ended up on the bunk above me, William on the one across the walkway from me, Vicky above William, Michael on the bunk behind mine, Sisky above Michael, Mike across from Michael, Nate above Mike, Suarez behind Mike, Ryland above Suarez, Butcher across from Suarez and a bunk for extra storage space above Butcher.
Gound Bunks: BCK OF BUS
Butcher Suarez
Michael Mike
Em William
Top Bunks: BACK OF BUS
STORAGE Ryland
Sisky Nate
Gabe Vicky
Behind the set of bunks that Ryland etc. had claimed was the tiny bathroom, which housed a shower, sink, vanity mirror and toilet, and then in front of my set of bunks was the common room/kitchenette area. Whilst everyone was still in the bunk area, I called for attention.
“Okay, now I don’t know if you have ground rules on this bus, but on the Panic bus we do, and I’d just like to tell you as I’ll be sticking to them. Rule number 1 is a huge deal to me, and most likely everyone else on this bus for that matter: NO NUDITY!” Everyone agreed to that rule without complaint.
“Rule number two, and it’s another one that people will want to comply with, and it’s a rule made on every single bus: If using the bathroom, for god’s sake no number two’s!” Agreement and laughter could be heard.
“Number three: If you are sick, tell people so that they can either help you or have been warned in case it’s contagious. This rule mainly goes for me at the moment – I am sick with the flu, so vocalists don’t come too close.” I lied again, and everyone took in the information.
“And my final rule, number four. No sexual activities on the bus, whether known of or secretive. Even I will abide by this rule!” More laughter.
“Does anyone have any other rules?”
“This is not a rule per se, but if people want to talk personal, everyone else on this bus will be there for them, and will not tell anyone off the bus who it is and what’s happened, unless they ask or another person needs to be told,” Michael said. Everyone one of us except him had confused expressions, and he delved deeper.
“An example of another person needing to know is if for example, and I know this is probably never going to happen, but if Em falls pregnant and can’t face telling Ryan, but she tells us because she’ll need someone to hang with her all the time in case she is ill, one of us is allowed to tell Ryan, because it’s life changing news.”
“Why do people always use me as examples?” I said in an angered voice, knowing that they were close to spot on with why I was sick.
“And whatever happens on this bus when we are drunk stays between the members of this bus and never need to be told to anyone else.” Gabe piped in.
“And guys, no being pervy when Em or I are changing or are in the bathroom, okay?” Vicky added.
“So those are our rules, and try to stick by them,” I said, glaring at Ryland and Suarez, as they are known for breaking rules. We all headed off in our own ways; Vicky, Ryland, Suarez and Nate staying in the bunk area, presumably about to talk about set lists; Mike, Sisky, Butcher and Michael into the kitchenette, preparing afternoon tea for us, and Gabe and William…wait, where were Gabe and William?
I headed into the front of the common area, and could see a purple (Gabe) and a red (William) dot moving towards the back of the building.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I told Sisky, before heading off the bus and following where William and Gabe were minutes before. I soon came across them in a compromising position – Gabe had William backed against the wall of the Decaydance building, and was kissing him feverishly, and William was trying to get his hand down Gabe’s pants.
“Oh my god,” I gasped out, grabbing their attention and stopping the actions before me.
“You won’t tell anyone, will you?” William asked, going shy all of a sudden.
“I won’t. I agreed to a rule where confidentiality would be kept unless asked not to, and I plan to stick with the rule.”
“Thank you,” Gabe and William said at the same time.
“Back to the bus boys. The remaining TAI boys are making afternoon tea before we head off to the venue.” We all walked back together, but just before we got onto the bus, I doubled over in pain. Gabe hurried over to me, whilst William hurried on the bus, presumably to get more help.
“Em, are you okay?” Gabe asked, bending down so that he was level with me.
“No, and if I were you, I’d stand back cause I think I’m about to throw up.” Gabe moved so that he was behind me just in time, before I vomited in the bushes by the bus. I wiped my mouth with the tissue he handed to me, and headed into the bus.
“Do you want me to get Ryan for you?” William asked from the door to the bunk area.
“No thanks, I’m fine now. I think I’ll just go lay down.” I pushed past his and settled myself in my bunk. I could hear faint whispers from the lounge room and a very clear whisper: Gabe, take up my bunk for now and stay with her in case she’s still not well – I think she trusts you the most out of us lot. It was William who said it, and in a matter of seconds Gabe had entered the bunk area.
“Gabe, can you lie with me a sec?” I asked in a quiet voice. He slipped into the bunk beside me, and I curled into him. He placed his hands loosely around my hips, and I whispered something in a barely audible voice.
“Sorry Em, I didn’t quite catch that.”
“I said that it’s not the flu I’ve got, that I am in actual fact…pregnant.” Tears were spilling down my cheeks, and Gabe gently shushed me.
“Congratulations Em. I bet you and Ryan are really happy.”
“I haven’t told him. I don’t know for definite, but I have pretty good idea that I’m correct. Please don’t tell him, or anyone else for that matter what I just said. Please Gabe?”
“I won’t I promise. But I suggest that you tell Ryan soon what with all the being sick and stuff – it might interfere with your show tonight.”
“I’ll try. Anyway, the boys told me that I’m not dancing tonight, I’m only singing for a few songs, so it’s not that much of a big deal.”
“Okay. I’m going to lay in Bill’s bunk for a while and keep an eye on you from there, okay?” I nodded and he got off my bunk and laid himself in William’s. I rolled over so that I was facing the wall and drifted off to a dreamless sleep.
Sign up to rate and review this story