- Well, you're off to a generally good start with some novel ideas and approaches but the overall readability of the story is severely compromised by a lot of mispellings and wrong word choices. I'd agree with pi3142 that you really need a good beta (I'll offer my services if need be, I've a fair amount of experience as one - drop me an email if you're interested).
Author's responseThanks for the offer for a beta.
I'll send you part two of Power of the Void.
I still have to finish part two of Prophesy.
(#) ROBERT_1958 2008-03-08Harry Potter and the Fifth Element by Bexis
In this story Harry saves the life of the goblin King and becomes a goblin Prince.
I hope the Princess is Hermione.
This story looks great.
I do have an sugjestion; if you introduce and item, please use said item (If Harry gets a house, please use the house in the story in some way). Have Harry use the items or have give them to others os allow others to share them.
I like seaning Harry getting to know other Races as well, it makes a more of a fuller storry.
Please update soon?
Author's responseThanks for the link I'll check it out.
as for the suggestion. Anything that I will mention in my stories will be used by Harry and other characters. Whats the use mentioning something if its never brought up again.
as for the Princess you will just have to wait. I have part of second chapter written already, just waiting for more time to write.
- Was this story ever posted on another site? I swear I've read this exact chapter before.
Author's responseI also post to FF.net you probably saw it there.
I posted it here as well because of FF.nets rating system.
The rating of my stories will go up in later chapters. That I have some other story ideas that are only on paper and still locked in my head.
(#) wjmdragonrider 2009-12-17An excellent story so far can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's responseI'm glad you like it.
As for new chapters. Well they might be a while.
I lost my main computer and all my story notes, and until I can afford to repair it, I'm on a loaner.
I might just start the chapters over again.
- From your notes it looks like you might still have hopes for this story so I will as well.
Starts off nice.
Goblins aren't defined very well. In any case, its your story. Do as you will. banker goblins make perfect sense. They obviously will fight for some things. You know that from the history classes. Otherwise? But bankers don't have to be wimps...or they wouldn't be able to guard the cash.
Author's responseI do have hopes for this story. I lost all of my notes when my computer crashed and until I can get the info transferred to my new computer I won't be working on it.
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