FicWad

“Hey, Sunshine.” Luke walked up to Kelly “How’s life today?” he desperately wanted to see her smile.
“It’s okay I guess.” She answered. “I was thinking maybe tomorrow we could take Elle to the park and then to that little burger place that’s right down the street. I think she could walk that far without getting tired.”
“Hey, if she gets tired I’ll carry her on my back.” Luke said. “I like Bug. She’s so fucking cute.”
Kelly nodded, “She was mad I wouldn’t let her talk to you on the phone last night.”
“Should have let her.” Luke said as they started walking down the hall together. “I don’t mind.”
“She’s kinda hard to understand.” Kelly reminded him.
Luke shrugged, “I’d have figured out what she was saying. Hey, about tomorrow night.”
Kelly stopped and turned to him, “What?’
Luke changed his mind. Now was not the time to discuss this, “I’ll tell you later. I gotta go or my ass is gonna get kicked out of Spanish. See ya at lunch.” He took off before Kelly could say anything. She watched him disappear down the hall wondering if he understood how she really felt. She wondered if she really understood her own feelings anymore.

Kara read the text again. She looked around the classroom to see if anyone was watching. Everyone, including the teacher seemed to be busy. Good, she didn’t need to get into any more trouble. Now all she had to do was get out of class and get home.
Class was almost over so she waited until the change then went to the nurse’s office. This time the nurse recognized her. “I’m really feeling bad. Cramps from hell and they’re making me sick to my stomach. I so don’t wanna puke in class.”
The nurse nodded, “Yeah, I can understand that. Uh, I’ll give you permission to go home.” She still hasn’t really figured out how to deal with married, eighteen-year-old students.
Kara thanked her, checked out at the office and drove home. Her mom’s car was gone. She was sure she’d gone to Jamia’s. She grabbed her cell and called her. “Hey Mom, any news about Frank?”
“Kara how do you know?”
“Bob sent me a text.”
Monica kept her eyes on the traffic, “No news. Alicia called and wanted me to come over she’s worried about Jamia.”
“God, I hope he’s okay.” Kara got out of the car. “I just got home. I figured you might need to leave so I thought I’d come home and stay with Liv.”
Monica was surprised, “That’s good but I’m sure Liv would have been okay by herself until you got home.”
“Well, I’m here now anyway.” Kara reached the front door. “Call me if you hear anything.”
“I will” Monica promised.
Kara walked in and sat her purse down on the hall table. She moved quickly through the downstairs and realized Liv must be in bed. Reaching the upstairs she went to the guest room first but was shocked to find it empty. “Liv?” she called out. There was no answer. Kara checked the rest of the rooms but she wasn’t there. “Crap” she muttered then suddenly thought of Gerard’s lair. That is where she found Liv. She was sitting on the floor with a sketchbook in front of her. Tears were rolling down her face. She looked up, shocked to see Kara.
“Fuck, you scared me.” She quickly wiped her eyes.
“Sorry” Kara walked closer. Now she could see the drawing Liv was looking at. It was one Gerard had done of Liv. In the picture she was reclining on a bed. Kara’s eyebrows rose.
Liv snapped the sketchbook closed, “I shouldn’t have been going through shit. Sorry.”
Kara shrugged, “It’s okay. It’s you in the drawing. Don’t see why you shouldn’t look at it.”
Liv sighed, “I remember the day he drew that. We’d been fighting all day about stupid shit. We were always fighting about stupid shit. Course it was my fault, I was always pushing him to piss him off.”
“Why?” Kara asked.
Liv thought a moment. “Cause I’m a bitch.”
Kara thought a moment before answering, “I don’t think that was the reason.”
Liv glared at her. “How would you know? Let me guess you’re like your mom. Always trying to find good in everyone.”
Kara actually laughed, “I’m not like my Mom. Yeah, that’s how she is.” She paused then added, “That’s how she dealt with things to survive.”
Liv gave her a surprised look. She knew Monica had been abused she could see it in her eyes when Kelly had suffered at the hands of her boyfriend. That day Liv had come close to telling Monica how much she truly did understand how she felt. “How much of a bastard was your dad?”
The question didn’t bother Kara, “A huge fucking sick bastard. Mom suffered through it cause she thought she was protecting us.” She titled her head, “Think it’s wrong that I’m glad he died?” she asked almost like a challenge.
At first Liv was shocked by the question; yet somehow it pleased her that Kara seemed to want her opinion. Liv was struck with the realization that she liked this girl. She had such an honestly about her and a no nonsense outlook. “No, I don’t think so. You can’t help the way you feel.” She answered truthfully.
Kara shrugged, “Guess that’s true. Sometimes I feel bad for thinking that way but then I remember how Mom used to cry at night.” She looked away a moment, “I remember lots of shit.”
“Well she’s got Gee to take care of her now.” Liv said softly.
Kara snorted, “Yeah, whatever.”
Liv was puzzled by her response, “You don’t like him?’
Kara thought about lying but decided it didn’t matter if she answered truthfully, “I think he’s gonna hurt Mom.”
“Hurt her? Why?”
“Cause he’s never gotten completely over you. Never let it go.” Kara said looking directly into Liv’s eyes.
Liv was shocked by the comment. She sighed, “Well it ain’t gonna matter soon.”
“Oh it will still matter.” Kara said folding her arms in front of her, “He still won’t’ have the fucking answers he keeps letting fester.”
Liv understood what she was saying. He had never let go of the fact she’d left him like she did. She wished with all her heart he would just let it all go. She could never tell him. Suddenly felt so weary. She just wanted to close her eyes and make everything go away. Slowly she tried to stand but the pain in her side made her fall back down, “Fuck” she cried out of anger.
Kara moved quickly over to her, “Let me help you.”
Liv’s anger flared, “I don’t need any fucking help. I’ve never needed anyone’s help. Fuck, I just wanna die. I want this to be over.”
Kara took a step back. She understood Liv’s anger and was not hurt by it. “Yeah” was all she said.
Liv looked up at her. “I’m lying.” She whispered, “I don’t wanna die.” She lowered her head and sobbed. The pain in her side was worsening. “I just wanna live.”
Kara sank to the ground to sit by her. She gently touched Liv’s arm. “I’m so fucking sorry this is happening to you. It’s not fair.”
Liv kept her eyes closed. “Life has never been fair to me. Never”
Several minutes passed and neither said a word. Liv finally stopped crying. She looked at Kara with tears in her eyes. “I shouldn’t have said that. Life gave me Elle.”

The band members had returned to their hotel canceling the next interview they had been scheduled to give. Now phone calls were being made trying to get any scrap of information.
‘Gee, I’m scared.” Mikey said looking over at his brother.
Gerard exhaled a stream of smoke, “Yeah, me too. You’d think someone would know something. This is fucking ridiculous.” He punched in Monica’s number. Mikey had told him the last time Alicia called she had said she was waiting for Monica to show.
“Are you at Jamia’s yet?” He asked as soon as she answered.
Monica sighed, “Traffics a bitch but I’m almost there.”
“Fuck, I don’t know what to think.” Gerard muttered.
“He should be home by now.” Monica whispered. “I talked to Alicia. She said Brian found out about the trouble on the original flight. They told him that he got booked on another flight but they showed no record of him checking in. That was the flight that crashed.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m holding onto the faith that he didn’t check in and he wasn’t on that flight.” Gerard closed his eyes and felt tears forming, “I have to believe he wasn’t fucking on that flight.”
“Gee I just pulled into the parking garage, I’ll call you if I hear anything,”
“I love you.” He said wishing he was with her, wishing this was just a nightmare and they were all home.
“Love you too, Gee,” She disconnected and wiped her eyes. She quickly grabbed her bag and headed for the elevators. Alicia threw open the door as soon as she reached the apartment.
“I’ve called 911. Something’s wrong with Jamia.” She stepped back and Monica saw Jamia curled up on the sofa.