FicWad

I stood infront of Gerard, shivering from the cold, and squishing the wet sand beneath my toes. My long extensions shuddered with the slight breeze, my lips trembling, but from my nerves.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" he asked softly. "You don't have to do it."

"It's okay," I replied. He signaled to the director, who called to hair and make up. They rushed over to Gerard and I, who stood with towels wrapped around us. They fussed about with my hair, but I didn't see why it mattered; I would be under water in a minute anyway.

"Everyone out!" shouted Craig the director, and they all retreated back behind the cameras, except for my make up artist, who was trying to tug my towel away. Finally, after a little coaxing from Gerard, I let her pull it away to let my hair cascade down over my shoulders, covering my breasts.

Gerard was only wearing small boxers, while I worse a small neutral colored thong; the costume director told me it was the only thing they could use that gave me some sort of coverage while giving the illusion that I was baring all. But I was most worried about my breasts. I didn't have time to express my concerns however, when the director and cameraman came trudging along.

"Out you go," said Craig in a high pitch and we all walked out into the freezing cold water. I hugged my body tightly until we were up to our chests in water, and then Craig said, "Camera rolling."

I dropped my arms to my side, took a deep breath, and let Gerard take me in his arms. He pulled me close to his body, my breasts were pushing against his chest, and I started wondering what he was thinking. I didn't have much time to wonder though, because Craig yelled "Action!", and before I knew it, Gerard's lips were covering mine, as we plunged under the cold water together. I felt Gerard's hand on the back of my neck, keeping our lips attached as best as possible. I knew that I was supposed to open my eyes, but with Gerard holding me. I completely forgot about everything else. All I thought about was where his hands were and where I wanted them to be.

When Gerard let go of my neck and let his hand travel down my back, I began to feel lightheaded and I wriggled out of his grip. I broke through the surface of the water, spluttering and coughing. Finally, after catching my breath I moved my hair to cover my chest, and the director was yelling.

"I'm sorry!" I said back, but I realized he wasn't yelling at me, rather at Gerard who was looking frustrated with himself.

"It's simple! Just stick to the concept we agreed to!" Craig yelled at him.

"It's our video! I can change the concept whenever I want to," he yelled back. "We'll do both and see which works better."

"Fine," grumbled Craig, adjusting his silly looking fishing pants. "Take it from the top." Gerard exhaled sharply and turned back to me. His lips were quivering from the water, but he smiled at me.

"You look beautiful," he said fixing my hair, and then resting his hands on my shoulders. "Now let's get this done so we can get out of here."

It took us another hour coming back in and out of the water, before Craig was satisfied with the material he had gotten. I got dressed into some warm clothes, gathered my belongings, and set out to find Gerard.

I had been thinking about what Gerard has said to me the night he had come to LA. Over and over, I thought about my life, and what it would be like if I left Ronnie. Gerard was my best friend, the love of my life, but in the end, I decided that I couldn't be with him. Ronnie was going to get better, and once he got out of rehab, I wanted to be there to take care of him.

I found Gerard on his phone and I waited until he was finished to approach him.

"We should talk," I said right away.

"About?"

"I'm going back to Jersey tomorrow. I'm going to live with my parents for awhile."

"Are you leaving Ronnie?" I could hear hope in his voice.

"No. We're working on our relationship." I took a step closer to him, making sure that no one would hear out conversation. "Which is why I don't think can't see you anymore. I think it's best if we don't have any contact with each other."

He scrunched his face and brought a clenched fist to his forehead, hitting it lightly. "You can't do this, not again. I've lost you twice, I can't lose you again." He turned away from me, and then back again. "Fine, if you're really going to do this, then go!"

I sighed. "We both know if I stay, then it will happen all over again. I really need this marriage to work."

He stood, contemplating my words, but disregarded them. "Go!"

I stood infront of him, my already broken heart breaking even more with his hurt expression.

"I love you," I whispered. "Always have and I always will. You stole my heart Gerard Way." And I wish that I could say that that was the end of it all, but unfortunately almost six years would pass before Gerard and I finally finished our story, with a bloody ending.

NOTE TO READERS STORY IS NOT OVER
THERE IS TEN CHAPTERS LEFT
(i wanted to end on a perfect 50)