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• When Vernon Didn't Miss

  (#) FenrisWolf 2008-03-16

  For starting out so well, this story has taken a decidely depressing turn over the last several chapters, to the point where I'm seriously considering not reading any more of it. Seems like no matter which way you look, Voldemort and his followers are making headway and Harry's supporters are taking a beating.
  
  It wouldn't be so bad if there was some sort of balancing action occuring in favor of the Light, but that doesn't seem to be on the books. Just one dry, dialog-free narrative after another as Hermione weakens, Ginny is recruited and Remus (and probably Ron) is murdered. And then to top it all off you end the chapter with a cheesy, soap-operatic cliffhanger. Siskel and Dead Ebert vote: Two Thumbs Down.

• When Vernon Didn't Miss

  (#) jedielfsorcerer 2008-03-16

  NNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lupin can not die!!!!!! or is someone else died?

• When Vernon Didn't Miss

  (#) Cateagle 2008-03-16

  To borrow a line from one of F. Paul Wilson's sf stories, "Wheels within wheels...". There're clearly several different plot threads going here, including the corrupted Ravenclaw sisterhood (one hopes they can be cleansed and redeemed). The bit with the grenade was a nice touch.
  
  With that ending, I'll be interested in seeing who died besides Remus and why it has Harry so beat up. On the other hand, while this chapter is most definitely a "downer", I suspect that it contains the seeds to inspire future actions on Harry's part. Between the intense love, physical, spiritual,a nd psychological, growing 'tween Harry & Hermione and the fact that Harry's not the kind to gladly suffer the death of friends, I can see that Tom may have won a battle but ultimately lost the war. For that matter, while it's not been stated, I suspect the first section cearly shows Hermione finding both the reason and the tools for finding a way to survive and, in her own way, she's every bit as stubborn as Harry is.
  
  It was interesting to see Tom re-embodied early and I wonder who'll detect the substitution when "Moody". Personally, I don't think he realizes just how good and experienced the Brotherhood is and how much interest they take in Harry; that's bound to come around and bite him one of these days.

• When Vernon Didn't Miss

  (#) Clell65619 2008-03-16

  "uxorious". Good word. Thanks.
  
  So Harry's getting some? This would be third year right? So he's 13? tsk, tsk...
  
  - good chapter, the idiot Flint boogered up his hit pretty well... I don't think you killed Remus, I suspect that it's Ron who's bit the big one...

• When Vernon Didn't Miss

  (#) Fyrecat 2008-03-16

  Great chapter. This fic has lots of fun, interesting ideas that I haven't seen before. I'm quite enjoying it.
  Love the grenade! what a great way to keep a pawn from talking!
  As with most chapters in most fics, my biggest complaint is that it's too short.
  I'm impressed, you made me look up a word. Thanks for helping me expand my vocabulary!
  The Ravenclaw sisterhood is a great idea. I really like it!
  Thanks for sharing, and keep up the great work! I look forward to the rest of the story.
  - Fyrecat
  

• When Vernon Didn't Miss

  (#) brad 2008-03-17

  Oh dear, poor poor Hermione!! I'm quite angry that Pansy just isn't automatically killed to partially make amends for her crime, and give Hermione a few extra years. The idea that she was let off merely for money - she's still walking free as far as society knows, right, even though her family might have chosen to punish her further - is infuriating. Still, that's the result of having such a corrupt culture that puts such stock in 'blood lines' and the like, I suppose, which is the point you're making.
  
  Nice little analysis of the 'real' Harry at the beginning of the chapter.
  
  "The incident which set Harry and Hermione off" ... why am I hoping that Harry and Co. will take the offensive at some stage and start getting in some pre-emptive strikes? :-)
  
  A few readers here have assumed that Lupin is the one who's dead, but I don't know ... you might be pulling a swifty on us, it might be Ron instead.

• When Vernon Didn't Miss

  (#) sparky40sw 2008-03-17

  Lots of twists in the chapter, and if the twit who reviewed a little higher up lacks the imagination to understand that somethings happen off stage - it is his loss.
  The Ravenclaw sisterhood is a nice touch - I have only rarely seen fics where real house unity is exploited in the plot - I like this as a way show how those bonds created by long proximity during adolescence can influence lifetimes.
  nice betrayal on Voldie's part - most authors show him ignorant of the muggle world, or contemptous of all things mundane, which seems inaccurate for someone who grew up there for the 1st 10 years.
  
  thanks for writing and sharing - I have very much enjoyed your works over the last 2 years (since I found them) and if you do go to writing non fiction, can you leave links to it in your yahoo group please?
  warm regards
  Ken

• When Vernon Didn't Miss

  (#) Meteoricshipyards 2008-03-17

  Wow, I was not expecting the attack on Lupin (or the grenade - excellent twist).
  
  I did not get the impression that the summary part was boredom, more like the details weren't important. How many dates between Harry and Hermione did we need to see?
  
  The Ravenclaw sisterhood is an interesting idea. Like a previous reviewer, it seems strange that they would put in with Voldie, but I can understand (to some extent, having a politically aware 13 year old :-) how children will parrot their parents' political views.
  
  Thanks for writing! I can understand the need to get away from fanfic writing. But don't let bad reiviews make you feel like you should leave. Leave when the ideas stop coming or when it's no longer fun.
  
  Tom A.

• When Vernon Didn't Miss

  (#) Ianmacian 2008-03-18

  Interesting, the Ravenclaw Sisterhood working with Voldemort, that's different. I hate to say it, but I hope it's Ron that's dead, not Remus. I just don't like Ron, I think he's a jealous, immature little prat. The idea that Hermione would still be with him after 19 years is somewhere between sad and ludicrous. Of course, that could be said for most of "Dully Hollow".
  
  Keep up the good work, I for one am greatly enjoying this story!!
  
  Wolf

• When Vernon Didn't Miss

  (#) Elfwyn 2008-03-19

  Oh so cruel to leave it like that. Well let's hope third try is the charm for posting a review. (I hate this site.)

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