- this is great... just the type of harry i like, a hardened old soul, who learn to take the leap for the first time... its works well i think, for a man to know so much (due to the war) but still be innocent in the concepts of love and life.
i think you did really well, the characters were great, and the emotion and depth was good too... i hope you decide to make it into a full length novel, but i doubt it...
Author's responseErm. You do realize that Harry doesn't love her?
In vi it says He sews together lies with his own hands and willfully doesn't notice the large, messy stitches when he holds them up to his mind's eye. And then the end line: And this is the moment in which Harry breaks his promise from so long ago: (to not say "love" without meaning it) "I love you, Rowena." He ignores the messy, gaping stitches with the ease of long practice and smiles brightly at his wife.
Hm. I suppose I should make it clearer, then.
- No, you shouldn't. As it is , it's such a brilliant hopeless feeling, settling for what one has rather than what one wants. To decide that one's life has no more to give, and it's time to tend the pieces, and piece together an existence, as life has passed one by.
Thanks. For the first time, though, i feel a vague need for a backstory.
Author's responseHa. I clarified the end by adding the bolded promise in parentheses as soon as I read her review. Since I'm surmising that you only just read this, I can assume that my adjustments blended well. ^-^
And I do suppose that you're right about the backstory...perhaps I'll do a prequel, hmm? I don't think I can fix that just by editing a little. Thanks for the lovely review, Vanir.
- I'll agree with Vanir that a backstory would be nice, but I'd not claim that it was essential (though you do hint at a lot of potential bits of it). I did enjoy this story and I'll fully endorse Vanir's review. I rather suspect this is about as close to "fluffy" as you'll get.
Hmm, that suggests a story where Neville and Hermione end up together because they're the only survivors, after Tom's demise - and, possibly, Ministry treachery - of the "DoM 6" from the fifth year. They wouldn't be each other's first choices from love, but of those left living, no others could really understand what they've seen.
Author's responseHmm. You may, perhaps - possibly - be right. This is my fluff. Isn't that sad and horribly pathetic? Heh. I'm happy with my mad fluff skills - I'd probably commit hara-kiri in shame if I wrote a Honeydukes into existence.
Is that a request, m'dear?
(#) toranosuke 2008-03-22Original, very interesting and well-written. What I want to know is how did this come to be and where will it go? Though it's deplorable that Harry's gotten so used to telling falsehoods =P
Author's responseThank you! I'm not one to write chaptered stories, but this one will have a prequel at least - I may write a follow-up, but that's up for debate at the moment. They'll be one-shots in the Empty universe. Again, thanks - I'm happy to hear you like at least one of my works. ^-^
- Yeah, I'd reckon that idea of mine is a request for one of those open spots I've got. I wouldn't call it pathetic that this is your "fluff", though I'd agree it's a bit sad. OTOH, not everyone can write "happy fluff" and humor (I've got an idea for a humorous short that ends in a really bad pun - borrowed unashamedly from one of Scott Kellog's strips - but I've not yet been able to do a decent write up leading to it), but you succeed most excellently at the style of stories you do produce; I'd certainly hate it if everyone produced the same style of work.
Oh, no offense, but usually only my wife refers to this guy as "m'dear".
Author's responseHah. Apologies. Tell your wife hi for me. ^-^
And I wasn't being a soggy pity-bun. I'm very happy with the current status quo - I have lots of feedback, and that's all it takes to make me happy! Well, there's a couple of other things, but my girlfriend takes care of those.
Tell me when you post that story. It sounds entertaining. XD
So, did you want your story...never mind. I just had an epiphany. Jeez. I should really sober up before I trot on over to church service. I'll have it up some time soonish. ^-^
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