Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Actions Do Tend To Have Consequences. They Aren't Always Good.
Ryan's POV
Man, am I confused.
I really don’t know what to think. I mean, there is the…possibility, that I…might….
Oh, for crying out loud.
I think I have…feelings…for Brendon.
Yeah. Brendon Urie. Lead singer of the band. My best friend. THAT Brendon.
I’m seriously getting worried about my sanity.
This is ridiculous. I’m straight! I’ve had girlfriends! I LIKE girls! I’ve never had feelings for a boy before. Ever. I guess I could be bi… Oh God.
What should I do? I mean, I sit, and I think about it, and no matter how much I try to explain away the feelings I’m getting for him, no matter how hard I try to wriggle away from the truth, it keeps coming back to me that it must be real. The feelings are there, no matter how hard I try to deny them or put them down to anything and everything from stress to temporary insanity. And there’s nothing I can do about it.
They ARE there. I DO like him.
And I don’t know what to do. I can’t take it.
My denial scares me as much as the feelings. I mean, I don’t want to like him like that. He’s my friend. Has been for years. I mean, if I just came out and said that I liked him, that would be the end of our friendship. Well, come on, if your best friend, of the same gender as you, just randomly blurted out that they ‘liked’ you, you’d freak, right?
Well, if you didn’t feel the same way, that is. I mean, Brendon obviously doesn’t. He’s always complaining that he’s single and can’t get a girlfriend.
To be honest, it irritates me. And there’s another bit of proof that I like him. If I didn’t feel THAT way, and I was just getting the feeling of friendship confused with…well, you know…something else… then I wouldn’t be feeling…well, jealous I guess…would I?
See? That’s what I’m like. That’s what I’ve been doing. Overanalyzing everything. Thinking about how I might possibly like him, how I might not, what the effects would be either way, everything I’m feeling. It’s scaring me so much; just adding up to this big pool of confusion.
And I’m lost in it.
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Sorry about the delay for this chapter. Hope people are still interested! :S
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