For the next few days I stayed in heaven, even angels get days off, and I usually look forward to the break but this time I was desperate to be given a job so I could go to earth and maybe meet Gerard. I knew what I felt for him was wrong, and that even if we just became friends it could cost me my place in heaven, and his life... But I couldnt help it, I had to see him. I couldnt get the feel of his hand on mine, on my wings, how close his lips had been... they were so simple yet I couldnt get enough, now I understood why those girls in my town when I was a human used to squeal when a guy they liked touched their hand. Simple gestures, yet it seemed so much more and I just so badly wanted to see him again.
Renardo had seen a difference in me, he had cornered me the night after I had seen Gerard and demanded to know what was wrong, he said I hadnt been the same ever since that 'run in with the demon' and I think he thought something had happened to me. I had assured him I was fine, but even I noticed I was constantly in a day dream. The other angels were beginning to worry by the end of the week, I was head angel and supposed to be there for them when god was busy but now no one could get more than two words out of me, I didnt realise how bad it was affecting everyone until I got a knock on my door the night before I was set to go back to work, I had been thinking about how I might see Gerard again when the knock startled me into the real world. "Err, yes?" I called. The door opened and someone I rarely saw walked in. I jumped off my bed and gave a small bow of respect, he held up his hand and I sat down on the edge of bed. Bob crossed the room and stood infront of me. "How are you frank?" He asked. Bob was the voice of god. When god talks to a human Bob is the one who talks to them because god voice would be too much for a human and would probably make them explode, so whatever god says to anyone, Bob knows about it. It means he holds all of gods trust and that the other Angels have to show him great respect, it also meant in my case, that Bob had been sent to see me by god. "I'm fine." I said simply, trying to sound convincing. Bob sat down beside me and raised an eyebrow. "You expect me to believe that? I dont think your fooling anybody Frank. Somethings wrong with you, ever since you saw that demon you've been acting strange. Renardo thinks the demon did something to you." I felt anger bubble in my stomach, glared at Bob and tried to restrange myself from storming out of the room and hitting Renardo. I felt regret as I thought this, that wasnt very Angelic, my stomach twisted uncomfortably with nerves, anger, regret and longing. "He didnt do anything, he didnt know I was an Angel, same as I didnt know he was a demon. All we did was talk." Bob raised an eyebrow.
"Demons dont go around talking to people Frank, what did you two talk about? Whats going on?" He asked. I twisted my hands in my lap. "Nothings going on. All we did was talk, just about normal stuff. Like, I dunno. He asked if I was religious and I said yes and I asked if he was religious and he said he believed and thats it, after that Ray came in and took me away" Bob sighed gently.
"Are you sure thats it?" He asked.
"Of course I'm sure, I havent seen him since." I said. Bob nodded.
"Frank, what do you think of the demon? Renardo says you dont seem frightened by the fact you were talking with one, he says your treating it like he was just another person." I tried not to shout that his name was Gerard and not 'the demon' but I knew if I did this it would be clear I was being defensive and that I felt something for him. "Well...isnt he just another person?" I asked quietly. Bob placed a hand on my shoulder and I looked into his worried eyes. "No Frank, he's not. He's a demon and demons are not good creatures Frank. They are evil and your lucky you didnt get hurt. Now please just swear to me that you wont go seeing this demon again, and that if you see him you'll come straight back to heaven. Swear it Frank!" I stammered slightly and trembled a little.
"I swear." I choked out. Bob sighed with relief and nodded.
"Thankyou... You better get some sleep, you've got a job in the morning." Bob got up and brushed the creases out of his robe. He walked over to the door and stopped with his hand on the handle. "Good night." He said. I mumbled a good night back and then he left the room, as soon as he had I raced to the bathroom and collasped infront of the toilet, gripping the edge of the seat I choked out the contents of my stomach through a series of violent hurls. I couldnt believe what I had just done, swearing that to Bob meant that I had two options, to see Gerard and go against God himself, or to not see Gerard. The thought of that made me hurl again but I had nothing left to throw up. I didnt know what to do. I couldnt go against god. But I couldnt live without Gerard. I leant against the edge of the bath and wiped round my mouth, panting lightly and shaking. I felt so sick, was this what love felt like?
I did my job the next day and looked around, half expecting to see Gerard but he was nowhere. I felt an emptiness in my stomach and sighed, it was for the best anyway. At least this way I could keep my promise to Bob. I rounded the corner where the church would be and the heavens suddenly opened, the clouds had been black all day and now great cascades of rain plummeted to the Earth splashing on the pavements. All round me people gasped and opened umbrellas or held bags or papers over their heads. The rain was cold and I ran down the street, aiming for the church where I would go back to heaven. My feet splashed along the rain soaked pavement when I crashed into someone. I fell backwards and their hand grabbed mine pulling me to my feet before I could hit the floor. "Woah, great reflexes." I laughed, relieved. I looked at the stranger to apologise that I had ran into them, only to find that they werent too much of a stranger. "Gerard!" I gasped, he shushed me and hurried to the church, he dragged me through the graveyard to some trees at the other end. We stood beneath a huge oak and he looked around before sighing with relief and leaning against the trunk. "Sorry, I kept thinking I was being followed. No demon will follow me here, they dont like cemetarys." Gerard looked me up and down, he was soaking like me but he wasnt shivering like I was. "Here." He smiled, pulling off the black hoody he was wearing, he pulled it over my head before I could protest. "Better?" He asked. The hoody was warm and I stopped shivering almost instantly. I nodded with a smile. He was wearing black jeans and a red shirt, he wiped his wet hair off of his face. I stood there in his hoody, it was so warm and it smelt like him. I wanted to keep it forever, and then I remembered I was breaking my promise. My eyes grew wide and Gerard noticed the look of horror on my face. "What is i -"
"I have to go!" I cried, I turned to run but Gerard lunged forward and seized my hand to stop me.
"No! Wait! Why do you have to leave!?" He cried. I tried to pull away.
"Gerard please, I'm not allowed to see you. I swore to Bob if I saw you I'd go straight back to heaven, and Bobs the voice of god so when you swear something to him your really swearing it to God himself and I cant break that promise Gerard I cant do it! I just cant!" I tried to pull away again but he wouldnt let go. "Gerard let go of me! I cant see you again, dont you understand! You have to keep away from me, get out of my life!" I screamed, he let go and I sprinted away from him, tears mingled with the rain as I ran. My heart hurt with each step and I slowed to a run, then to a walk and then I fell to my knees between the grave stones. I sobbed into my hands, my whole body shaking. I couldnt stand it, I needed him and I didnt realise how much but I couldnt be with him. How could I feel this way for someone I had only known for a few days? I was sobbing so much I didnt hear him approaching me.
"Frankie?" He was crying, I could hear it in his voice. He sounded broken, like I had made him shatter and it only made it hurt more and I sobbed harder. He knelt beside me and looked at me, he looked unsure of what to do. "I - I'm s - so sorry... I dont kn - know what to d - do." I whimpered. Even through the rain I could see the tears sliding down his cheeks, his chest rising and falling rapidly with his sobs. "Neither do I." He whispered. I felt the last piece of my heart split and I fell into his arms without thinking, wrapping my arms round his kneck and clinging to him as I cryed into his shoulder. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me into him, clinging to eachother tightly we cried and shook. "Gerard I cant see you... I'm not allowed." My crying was calming and I could form whole sentences. "I'm not allowed to see you either but I dont care Frankie, I need you. I dont know how but I do." He responded. He stood up, carrying me back to the shelter of the oak tree. He sat down beneath it with me in his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder as I tried to stop the crying completely. "Gerard... I love you..." I whispered. He bowed his head so that it rested on my shoulder, we sat curled into eachother as he whispered "I love you too." I shuddered with tears and the feeling of my heart mending itself.
"But... what if they find out... Gerard they'll kill you...they'll kill me..." I began to whimper again and he rocked me gently.
"Shh, its okay, its okay. They wont find out, we wont let them. Fuck Frankie, I love you so much and I dont know why, I shouldnt feel this strongly for you when we havent known eachother for long..." I held him tighter.
"I know. I feel the same..." I whispered. He leant forward and gently he kissed my cheek. His rain soaked lips were soft and so temtping. The last thing that went through my head before I found his lips with my own was the amount of times I had been told that temptation was a sin and should be resisted. I didnt care though, I had already broken my promise to god so I figured I might aswell sin while I was at it, and if I had known it would feel so good I would have done it long ago.
The raindrops on our lips mingled with the kiss and I worked my lips slowly against his, holding his face with my hands, his own hands resting on my hips. My eyes were closed and his probably were too. He tasted so good and I just wanted to stay here kissing him forever, and I would have too if he hadnt slowly pulled away, our lips seeming to stick before slowly pulling apart. I opened my eyes and looked down at him, he gazed at me with shiny eyes and he hugged me into him. "You have to get back Frank, before they notice your gone. Meet me here tommorow?" I nodded into his neck.
And I knew that this was a promise I would keep.
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