FicWad

Stuttering 32
Patrick got up to answer the phone. He had the cheeseist smile on his face and he sent his guest upstairs.
"Who is it?" Travis asked.
Patrick gave that smile that everyone knew was a good thing.
"Its Calista!" They ALL said at the same time.
"She doesn't like me much." Babs stated.
"She doesn't like any one much." Andy said laughing.
"She likes me." Ashlee said with a smile.
"Thats because you're easy." Pete added.
"Easy? The fucks that suppose to mean?"
"Nothing-"
The tension was quickly broken when my sobs were being heard. That's never a good sign around these parts.
As soon as I saw Patrick I couldn't help but to break down into tears. Patrick raced over to me and hugged the shit out of me. I held him back until I remembered he was the reason why I was crying in the first place.
"Patrick." I started.
"Yea, I'm here..." Patrick said kissing me all over.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" I suddenly screamed.
Patrick was shocked and confused.
"I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU!" I repeated, "I- what did I tell you about CHEATING ON ME?"
"I've never- oh God! ANDY!"
"Don't Andy me. He didn't tell me. But its good to know where your loyalties lie."
My voice was now dangerous as Patrick lead me into one of the connecting rooms. The other 3 of fall out boys trailed behind. They all seemed to want to blame Andy suddenly.
"I don't understand..." Patrick trailed off.
I pulled the stacks of papers out my bag and threw them to him. Patrick grabbed one that was lingering in the air too long and looked at it.
He just sat in front of me much like a 4 year old being scolded and I just paced back and forth pulling at my hair and mumbling to myself. This was NOT happening.
Not again.
"Cali its not what you think." He stated and I stopped my pacing to turn and look at him.
"Oh...Its...not...what...I...think?" I said slowly to the room as if it was the dumbest thing I've EVER heard.
"So you DIDN'T fly Your Ex to Europe with you? Nope, you did that. And you didn't take pictures making out with her by the Eifle Tower that never got sent to me. Nope, nope, you did that too. And you didn't ignore almost ALL my calls while you were gone," I grabbed his phone from the table in front of him.
Patrick's blue eyes begged mine as I scrolled through his call log rambling out his calls for the past month.
"Swetness: Ignore.
Elisa: Answered, talked for 45 mins.
Sweetness: Ignore.
Sweetness: Ignore.
Sweetness: Ignore.
Elisa: Answered, talked for 1 hour 54 minutes.
Sweetness: Ignored.
Elisa: Answered, talked for 23 mins.
Sweetness- wow you actually answered this one...talked to me for a whole 5 mins before, OH look who interrupted our conversation, no surprised here ELISA! Yes, so, you hung up on me and talked to her for oh wow a WHOPPING 2 hrs AND 59 minutes. Why couldn't you make that an even 3 hours Patrick? I mean, no wonder you never call me back. You're too tired from talking to her so much. Lets keep going shall we?
Sweetness: Igonre, ignore, ignore. IGNORE!"
I threw the phone across the room and it slammed into the wall behind him and he cringed.
"What upsets me the most Patrick is that you come back here and just show up and kiss me and WISH to make love to me like you hadn't been just FUCKING her!"
At the thought of this I made a face and began to run my hands up and down my body. I was trying to scrub away the dirty feeling I felt. It was useless though it wasn't going anywhere the dirt was not coming off. No, no matter how hard I scrubbed.
I knew I looked a little crazy but at the moment I didn't care. None of it mattered.
Patrick stood up and grabbed my hands and I fought his embrace I didn't want him anywhere near me. His touch made me sick.
"NO! Let go don't touch me!" I screamed.
"Calista just fucking listen to me!" Patrick said suddenly.
I turned my eyes to him and he looked desperate. His glare, lost, he wanted me to see he just needed me to understand.
"I didn't sleep with her. I couldnt do that to you. Yes I kissed her but it was only that one time. I couldn't sleep with her I love you. You have to believe me, you have to forgive me. We have to work through this! I can't be without you. I won't!" He concluded.
Patrick's tone was desperate and pleading. The look in his eyes, under any other circumstance, would have made me give in, but not this time.
"You were without me for a month and you were just FINE." I spat.
I pushed his arms away not being able to handle his skin in contact with mine.
"I hope you're satisfied. I hope all this was worth it and you got a kick out of it. I almost- Tell me, was I some kind of joke? A bet maybe?" I asked.
"Calista. No, don't think that. I love you. I love you so much. Please." He begged.
"Shut up. SHUT UP you don't know what that means. You don't know what THAT means! This is over. This is SO over!"
I walked away and Patrick was screaming behind me.
"IT WAS ONLY A KISS! IT WAS ONLY A KISS!" Patrick kept screaming but I didn't care.
I did an aboutface and gave him one last piece of my mind.
"That's what's so bad about this." I shighed defeated. I was so mad I couldn't even explain it.
I opened the door and walked out. Seeing everyone in the next room turn to look at me a little part of me felt like shit. Their eyes were all sympathetic or not but I didn't care. I couldn't feel a thing.
I was too numb.
I walked down the hall and Ashlee pulled me into her room. I then found the bathroom where I leaned over the toilet and emptied the contents of my stomach. I sat with my head against the cold marble for a minute before she moved the hair out of my face, and held it away from my neck.
The breeze that hit my now exposed skin felt great. I opened my eyes to see Ashlee run a wet paper towel over my face and my neck.
"You know I let myself love him. I really did. Everything told me, I shouldn't, that I should just run away. That I should hide my heart from him but I didn't listen. I should have listened." I sighed.
I got up from the floor and walked over to the sink to rinse my mouth and face.
"Calista I know its hard to believe but Patrick, he does love you. I don't know what this whole Elisa thing was but-" Ashlee started.
"No Ashlee. He doesn't." I was surprised at how broken and hurt I sounded.
I smiled at her through the mirror and she gave me a small smile back.
"I'm glad I met you. You really are a great person. A little wacky but great." I said as I hugged her tight, "Thanks for everything. Look me up whenever you're in town."
Ashlee nodded and I walked out the bathroom and out the door. Pete was standing there about to push the door open and gave me a hug. It was weird how he smelled like Patrick but looked like Pete.
Pete's eyeliner was running and that was forever engraved in my mind. Lets see him write a hit album out this shit.
Suddenly I pushed my way out the Hard Rock Hotel, into the crisp Chicago cold. For the first time in my life I welcomed it instead of dreading it. Maybe it could numb me enough so I wouldn't feel this pain in my chest anymore.
~
I turned in my bed the next morning and realized there was someone next to me. As I moved the blanket over I saw Gin and pouted to her.
"I don't remember you coming over." I sighed.
"Nicole let me in. Ashlee called me." Gin stated.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"He's a fucking cheater."
"What did he do?"
"He cheated."
"Cunt fucker."
"I feel sick Gin."
"I know. I feel sick too. How could he do that to me?"
"You?"
"What?"
"Are you high?"
"No. I just. I'm hungry."
"You're the best and worst friend."
"Eh. Lets go to iHop."
"Fine."
I got up, went into the shower and Gin turned on my bed and went back to sleep. She'd sleep all day if I let her. But when I finished in the shower I got dressed and sat there.
My radio then started to go off and "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers played, but the fall out boy version. As I heard Patrick sing 'it was only a kiss / it was only a kiss' I started to cry. How could he betray me like that? This is just so horrible.
Ginny sat there and held me, this is all I need at the moment. I just needed someone to see through my flaws and love me unconditionally, who wasn't exactly Jesus.