Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I'll Be Here. Ready To Take That Bullet.
Ahaaa. I had no idea that people found my story that sad. x) Sadness is good sometimes though. =D Something romantic about it I guess. Anyways I'm glad I got reviews! =D So here's the next chapter for you guys, hope you like it!
p.s.- I just realized how often I say "anyways" and "so", sorry guys. That must be rather annoying. @____@
GERARD'S POV:
We've been standing outside for about half an hour now. There's no way we're going to the hospital right now. Frank might be dead and we still aren't leaving. It's not that we don't care, we're all worried sick really. It's just... there's no energy in us to get a cab, go to the hospital, find Frank and make sure he's okay. I don't want to see Frank like that. When a tragedy happens to you, something just doesn't sit well in your stomach. You can't do anything about it, you can't talk about it, but you feel it every second that you're awake. I'm just sitting on the ground, hiding my face away. Everyone's just kind of pacing around, we haven't spoken a word.
Maybe in the morning we'll all go to the hospital? We really need to cancel that show tomorrow. We need the cancel the whole tour in the US. Canceling our shows is my fault too. We're letting down so many people. Frank's gone. Frank's injured. And it's all my fault! I breathe in shakily. Like how you breathe after you cry but I haven't cried for about an hour. I'm such a pussy. I cry so much and it's all because of Frankie. My mouth whispers over and over again
"Frankie. Frankie. Frankie."
His name is stuck in my head and will be until we fix this.
I should have fixed this before he had a chance to leave. I never should have sung that song. I never should have kissed him that day in the bunkroom. I'm dwelling on this and I even know it. I'm really hungry, I remember that I hadn't eaten anything all day. God. I finally manage to push myself up after a while, slumping into the kitchen. All I can think to eat is a bowl of cereal. The cabinets are hard to pull open because they are held close by magnets... and I'm such a weak fucking pansy. After I've actually poured the milk and cereal and gotten my spoon I find that all I can do is put the food in my mouth. It's like my stomach isn't accepting food or something. It feels like if I swallowed I would just end up puking it back up or something. I'm so fucking hungry though.
My mind tells me to open the medicine cabinet, maybe there's something for a tummy ache. Who the fuck am I kidding? I opened the cabinet for some fucking pills! I need pills I need them. I take anything out of the cabinet. We still have some Ultracet left from some injury or another. The lid is hard to open but I manage. I dump every single pill out in my palm. You're clean Gerard. If you start again it's going to be just as hard to go back. Anything to get rid of the pain. Frank wouldn't want you to. He really wouldn't. Frank... Put the pills back Gerard. Okay.
So I end up putting the pills back. It was hard. But thank God, right?
I'm sober but that doesn't mean I can't have a drink every now and then. Or maybe every single beer within reach. What are the guys still doing outside? Maybe they called the hospital or something? Hopefully the paparazzi wouldn't find anything out, that would take everything even further into hell. Anyways. I puked all over the bathroom and passed out. Big deal. It's really the only way I could get to sleep afterall. My only escape from this hell hole
---------The Morning After---------
MIKEY'S POV:
We came back inside after a few hours. We'd been calling back and forth between the hospital, the police station, and our "people". We managed to cancel our shows without too much of an explination. They tried to get more out of us but I ended up yelling into the phone. Gee went inside for a while, he passed out but we all just kind of left him there. Maybe if Gerard feels good enough we can head over to the hospital tonight. The hospital wouldn't release fucking anything to us, you know how much of a prick people in official places can be. Ugh. Nothings been going well. We all stayed in the same clothes as the day before and I didn't sleep. I stayed up all night thinking about Frank, praying that he's okay. Now I really want to go see him.
No one had breakfast this morning. No one's really hungry. Gee's still sleeping. We moved him to his bed after everyone got up and moving. My fingers tap a steady beat on the table as I stare out the window. We're stuck in this bus for a few days, aferwards we discussed renting a hotel for a while. Just so we don't have to leave Frank. Of course Gee hasn't heard anything about this, we'll explain once he wakes up. Ray comes and sits next to me. It's usually nice having company but it just seems cramped right now.
"Mikey, should we wake up Gee?"
"... I guess we can try." I kind of sigh out my answer.
I never look forward to trying to wake up Gerard. He's never really in check for the whole day. Ray gets up and looks back to make sure I'm following. It takes us about five seconds to get to the bunk room. Ray walks in casually,
"Geraaaard." He groans out, walking over to him bunk quickly.
"Wake up Gerard." He kind of shakes Gerard's arm, then proceeds to flip him over.
Gerard's face scrunches up and he closes his eyes tightly.
"U-uhghhh." He grabs his head and twists about for a second.
"Where's Frank?" He asks.
All of a sudden no one's moving. Did Gee think he dreamt that all? His face is still scrunched and he's still grabbing his hair. After a minute of realizing no one's answered he opens his eyes a crack.
"Ray? Where's Frankie?" His voice is all worried. It makes me so sad to hear it.
"He's in the hospital Gee. Remember? He... left." Ray kind of shrugged and stood up straight.
"Fuck." Gerard said to himself.
After a while we manage to get Gerard up. We help him into the living area where we all sit down at the small table. We explain everything that happened last night and he tells us what he remembers from the note Frank left. He agrees that he'll come along later today to come and visit Frankie. It's around 2:00 right now, he plan on visiting from 5:00-7:00. That's a little time for Gee to get some meds for his hangover and to get ready to finally see Frank. This whole morning has gone so fast, I don't remember most of it.
I have to remind Gerard that we're going out to get medicine for him. He stayed home while Bob and I headed out the door. We ran out the gates and through a littel maze of cones to the streets. There's no fucking cabs around here so we have to walk. It's not too far to a store with medicine so we don't mind the walk. Ray and I didn't talk the while way there actually. The most I've talked today was when we were telling Gerard our plans for the day. We're just not really in the mood to talk. None of us have cried since we heard the news about Frank, we're still in the shock faze. It just isn't fair.
-----4:30-----
Gerard's medicine helped a litte bit, he still doesn't want to move around too much, not that any of us have. We called and arranged a cab to come pick us up so we don't have to wait for one of the maybe 10 cabs in this fucking city. The TV's been on all day, not much else to do here I guess. I shoot a glance at Bob, reminding him of the time. He sighs a bit, he doesn't want this time to come just as much as the rest of us. He slowly turns to Gerard who's been zoned out on the TV since we got back. I watch as they exchange words. Everyone gets up at their own pace. We're ready to leave now. The dreaded moment of truth, huh?
------------------------
Yeah! =D Is it wrong to be happy about writing a sad story? I just got over some issues ad this is helping me cope with the change I guess. =)) Except I'm still pretty bumbed. =/ My Grandma was just diagnosed with breast cancer about a week ago, but my mom just told me yesterday. Ugh. I hope she's okay. But yeah, review please! Thanks for all the support so far guys! =O
-Finch
p.s.- I just realized how often I say "anyways" and "so", sorry guys. That must be rather annoying. @____@
GERARD'S POV:
We've been standing outside for about half an hour now. There's no way we're going to the hospital right now. Frank might be dead and we still aren't leaving. It's not that we don't care, we're all worried sick really. It's just... there's no energy in us to get a cab, go to the hospital, find Frank and make sure he's okay. I don't want to see Frank like that. When a tragedy happens to you, something just doesn't sit well in your stomach. You can't do anything about it, you can't talk about it, but you feel it every second that you're awake. I'm just sitting on the ground, hiding my face away. Everyone's just kind of pacing around, we haven't spoken a word.
Maybe in the morning we'll all go to the hospital? We really need to cancel that show tomorrow. We need the cancel the whole tour in the US. Canceling our shows is my fault too. We're letting down so many people. Frank's gone. Frank's injured. And it's all my fault! I breathe in shakily. Like how you breathe after you cry but I haven't cried for about an hour. I'm such a pussy. I cry so much and it's all because of Frankie. My mouth whispers over and over again
"Frankie. Frankie. Frankie."
His name is stuck in my head and will be until we fix this.
I should have fixed this before he had a chance to leave. I never should have sung that song. I never should have kissed him that day in the bunkroom. I'm dwelling on this and I even know it. I'm really hungry, I remember that I hadn't eaten anything all day. God. I finally manage to push myself up after a while, slumping into the kitchen. All I can think to eat is a bowl of cereal. The cabinets are hard to pull open because they are held close by magnets... and I'm such a weak fucking pansy. After I've actually poured the milk and cereal and gotten my spoon I find that all I can do is put the food in my mouth. It's like my stomach isn't accepting food or something. It feels like if I swallowed I would just end up puking it back up or something. I'm so fucking hungry though.
My mind tells me to open the medicine cabinet, maybe there's something for a tummy ache. Who the fuck am I kidding? I opened the cabinet for some fucking pills! I need pills I need them. I take anything out of the cabinet. We still have some Ultracet left from some injury or another. The lid is hard to open but I manage. I dump every single pill out in my palm. You're clean Gerard. If you start again it's going to be just as hard to go back. Anything to get rid of the pain. Frank wouldn't want you to. He really wouldn't. Frank... Put the pills back Gerard. Okay.
So I end up putting the pills back. It was hard. But thank God, right?
I'm sober but that doesn't mean I can't have a drink every now and then. Or maybe every single beer within reach. What are the guys still doing outside? Maybe they called the hospital or something? Hopefully the paparazzi wouldn't find anything out, that would take everything even further into hell. Anyways. I puked all over the bathroom and passed out. Big deal. It's really the only way I could get to sleep afterall. My only escape from this hell hole
---------The Morning After---------
MIKEY'S POV:
We came back inside after a few hours. We'd been calling back and forth between the hospital, the police station, and our "people". We managed to cancel our shows without too much of an explination. They tried to get more out of us but I ended up yelling into the phone. Gee went inside for a while, he passed out but we all just kind of left him there. Maybe if Gerard feels good enough we can head over to the hospital tonight. The hospital wouldn't release fucking anything to us, you know how much of a prick people in official places can be. Ugh. Nothings been going well. We all stayed in the same clothes as the day before and I didn't sleep. I stayed up all night thinking about Frank, praying that he's okay. Now I really want to go see him.
No one had breakfast this morning. No one's really hungry. Gee's still sleeping. We moved him to his bed after everyone got up and moving. My fingers tap a steady beat on the table as I stare out the window. We're stuck in this bus for a few days, aferwards we discussed renting a hotel for a while. Just so we don't have to leave Frank. Of course Gee hasn't heard anything about this, we'll explain once he wakes up. Ray comes and sits next to me. It's usually nice having company but it just seems cramped right now.
"Mikey, should we wake up Gee?"
"... I guess we can try." I kind of sigh out my answer.
I never look forward to trying to wake up Gerard. He's never really in check for the whole day. Ray gets up and looks back to make sure I'm following. It takes us about five seconds to get to the bunk room. Ray walks in casually,
"Geraaaard." He groans out, walking over to him bunk quickly.
"Wake up Gerard." He kind of shakes Gerard's arm, then proceeds to flip him over.
Gerard's face scrunches up and he closes his eyes tightly.
"U-uhghhh." He grabs his head and twists about for a second.
"Where's Frank?" He asks.
All of a sudden no one's moving. Did Gee think he dreamt that all? His face is still scrunched and he's still grabbing his hair. After a minute of realizing no one's answered he opens his eyes a crack.
"Ray? Where's Frankie?" His voice is all worried. It makes me so sad to hear it.
"He's in the hospital Gee. Remember? He... left." Ray kind of shrugged and stood up straight.
"Fuck." Gerard said to himself.
After a while we manage to get Gerard up. We help him into the living area where we all sit down at the small table. We explain everything that happened last night and he tells us what he remembers from the note Frank left. He agrees that he'll come along later today to come and visit Frankie. It's around 2:00 right now, he plan on visiting from 5:00-7:00. That's a little time for Gee to get some meds for his hangover and to get ready to finally see Frank. This whole morning has gone so fast, I don't remember most of it.
I have to remind Gerard that we're going out to get medicine for him. He stayed home while Bob and I headed out the door. We ran out the gates and through a littel maze of cones to the streets. There's no fucking cabs around here so we have to walk. It's not too far to a store with medicine so we don't mind the walk. Ray and I didn't talk the while way there actually. The most I've talked today was when we were telling Gerard our plans for the day. We're just not really in the mood to talk. None of us have cried since we heard the news about Frank, we're still in the shock faze. It just isn't fair.
-----4:30-----
Gerard's medicine helped a litte bit, he still doesn't want to move around too much, not that any of us have. We called and arranged a cab to come pick us up so we don't have to wait for one of the maybe 10 cabs in this fucking city. The TV's been on all day, not much else to do here I guess. I shoot a glance at Bob, reminding him of the time. He sighs a bit, he doesn't want this time to come just as much as the rest of us. He slowly turns to Gerard who's been zoned out on the TV since we got back. I watch as they exchange words. Everyone gets up at their own pace. We're ready to leave now. The dreaded moment of truth, huh?
------------------------
Yeah! =D Is it wrong to be happy about writing a sad story? I just got over some issues ad this is helping me cope with the change I guess. =)) Except I'm still pretty bumbed. =/ My Grandma was just diagnosed with breast cancer about a week ago, but my mom just told me yesterday. Ugh. I hope she's okay. But yeah, review please! Thanks for all the support so far guys! =O
-Finch
Sign up to rate and review this story