FicWad

Like A Knife Part 8

That night we learned about our new guests. They were never at a loss of words when talking to the guys, but whenever I asked them something, I got a one word reply in return. It was rather annoying, actually, so I just tried to fit myself into the conversations while we played Rock Band.

“So, Moony, Addi, do you guys have any hobbies?” Pete asked curiously, his eyes filled with hope. I knew that look.

“I play the guitar and the piano,” Moony answered sweetly. Maybe she wasn’t that bad…

“I write…And sing…” Addi began, clearly starting a long list that she didn’t feel like ending.

“That’s great! You and I will get along pretty well,” Ryan said to her. He can act amazingly friendly with a girl he just met, but he can’t love me. I hate irony.

“Guys, I don’t feel well. Can you…uh, take me home?” I asked, faking a stomach ache.

“I’ll take you,” Patrick suggested, standing up and pulling his keys from his pocket. “See you in a few, guys,” He said, over the rest of the laughter and conversation.

“Bye, guys,” I said weakly, as I watched the two girls act like old friends with what really were my old friends. “I’ll see you later. Nice to meet you, Moony, Addi,” I put in, as we left the house.

I settled myself in Patrick’s car, relaxing in the front seat. It felt good to get away from everybody, when just a few hours ago I had so desperately wanted to get out of my house. Patrick turned the key and the engine started with a huff, and we began to back out of Ryan’s long, black rocky driveway. I saw him smile as I watched Ryan’s house and all of my friends drift away from me.

“You feel fine, don’t you?” He asked me, grinning. “It’s all right. I know how you feel.”

“How did you…Well, yeah. I feel fine. I just…” I tried to say. “I guess I just need to get to know them better. I need to give them a chance. They seem like sweet girls, they really do, but…I don’t know,” I explained, unable to locate the fitting words.

“I know, I know. Just promise me that you’ll give them a chance. I have a feeling they’re going to be around for a long time,” Patrick informed me. “The way Pete’s eyes lit up was unmistakable.”

“Yeah, I know. There’s no messing that look up with another,” I said, chuckling under my breath, however jealous I might have been.

We drove down the back streets, so many memories filling my mind. I remembered so much whenever we took this route…

As we passed a turn in the road, thick trees on either side of us, I recalled when my father kicked me out of the house and I walked for and hour or two at ten at night. I called Ry and he picked me up, even though he was giving up one of the ‘popular’ parties. I couldn’t help how grateful I was that night, when he stepped out of his car under the street lights. He stood next to me under them, the hazy light making our faces glow. We decided to take a walk a little way from his car, just for the sake of being alone on a Friday night on a road in the middle of nowhere important.

That’s the night that I was positive that I loved him.

“Are you all right?” Patrick asked, looking at me through the rearview mirror. To my horror, I had a tear that managed to slip out from my eye and roll down my cheek.

“Yeah…Fine. Sorry…” I said in a monotone, rather blankly, as I wiped the tear away.

We passed the little brook where I first hung out with Fall Out Boy and Panic at the Disco all together, under a comfortable canopy of trees that blocked us from the harsh Nevada sun. Those times we had nothing to care about, no worries, no reason to care what anybody else thought. True freedom was brilliant, but so insanely rare.

We drove past all of my memories, and finally pulled into my drive way. We got out and Patrick found the spare key under a flower pot. He gladly unlocked my door and let me walk in first, and followed. We got to my living room, where Noodle was napping on my couch in a ball of blankets. I turned to my friend and looked into his baby blue eyes that glistened in the light coming from the sky lights in my roof. I took his hands and smiled.

“Thanks for getting me out of there…” I sighed, a far away look in my eyes. I couldn’t help it.

“You’re welcome, Cams. Anything for you. I hope you feel better,” He said, giving me a friendly wink. “Promise me that you’ll give them time. I bet you could get to be pretty great friends.”

“I promise,” I assured him with a grin. He held out his pinky as a gesture to make a pinky promise. I hooked mine in his and we remained there, living in just that moment and no others, loving every second we were together. We finally let go and he looked at his feet, possibly a little embarrassed.

“I should probably get back,” He said quickly. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” He suggested.

“You know it,” I smiled, watching as he left my house. “Bye, Patty.”

And he was gone, just like that. Loneliness can really get to a person; it stabs, straight through your heart…Like a knife.

Suddenly, I got a text from Pete.

Cammy, these girls could really get to be your friends. I know that they would. Could you, maybe, hang out with them sometime? Get to know them?

I had to think about this. I sighed, and replied, If you want me to.

You’re great, Cammy. You’re amazing. Go look in the mirror and kiss yourself. Do something, Pete answered.

I couldn’t help but smile. Ok, I replied. I shut my phone and walked to the bathroom.

Glancing in the mirror was more painful than expected. I hated the expression I constantly wore, like I could care less. Because, in reality, I cared more than imaginable.

I braced myself for the day to follow, hanging out with Moony and Addi.

I promised Patrick.

I had to give them a chance.