Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Half The Man I Used To Be

Chapter 30

by FreakOfNature 1 review

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: G - Genres: Humor,Romance - Published: 2008-04-03 - Updated: 2008-04-04 - 1593 words

After a few hours of fixing up a space for Ryan to sleep in Andy's room, the now five friends went into the kitchen and began conversation. They talked about many things, although none of their talk had anything to do with vampires. Probabley a good thing, since they were all tired of hearing about the Dandies.

"Hey Trohman, whats the date?" Pete asked as he watched Joe waltz over to the calendar.

"The twenty-fourth. Gee wizakers! Tomorrow is christmas!" Joe danced and waved his hands in the air.

"Awesome!" Andy danced along with Joe.

Eventually, eveyone was dancing. It was weird, and pretty sudden, but none of them cared. They all enjoyed christmas alot.

"Turn on some music!" Patrick ordered.

Pete spun around and ran into the livingroom quickly. He came back seconds later after inserting a Cd. Soon enough, Puff The Magic Dragon was blasting through the large speakers. Things soon got crazy, when Joe decided to jump on the table to do some kind of chicken dance. He broke the table faster than you could say doodlemuffin.

"Joe! Look what you did!" Patrick yelled, half angry and half amused.

"Sorry. I never thought I was that heavy.."

It was then Patrick picked up a large bag of flour and dumped it onto Joe's head. His entire afro was white and chalky.

"Now Joe looks like a Jewish Albert Einstein!" Pete laughed.

"Your right!" Ryan joined the laughter.

"Oh thats it..." Joe, taking great offence to the Albert Eienstein comment, went over to the sink and pulled out the small hose.

"Joe, we're sorry. Just...Just put down the hose. We didn't mean to-"

Patrick's sentence was cut short when he was doused with water.

All of a sudden, a large, pink unicorn flew in through the window and tackled Joe to the ground.

"I'll save you!" It said in a very deep voice.

"Oh my god! Get off of me! Rape! Rape!" Joe yelled out.

Patrick turned to Pete to talk to him, but before saying anything, he started laughing.

Pete tiled his head in confusion. "What are you laughing at, Trick? What's so funny?"

Moments later, Ryan joined in the giggle-fest, along with Joe and the sexually abusive unicorn.

"What!?" Pete screamed. He then realized they were all staring down by his waist. He looked down, and was horrifyed. He was now half man, half goat.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!" He screamed repeatedly.


Pete awoke from the awful dream and looked around the room. For a moment, he wondered if he had somehow been convinced to smoke Joe's weed, and that was why his dreams were so....Interesting.

He shook the thought out of his head, and climbed out of his bed. It was already getting light out, and he deffinately wasn't going to go back to sleep knowing where his dreams were at.

Getting up, he went into the living room and glanced apon their poor mutilated tree. It still looked the same, if not worse than the night they had gotten it. And not only did it look horrible, it still smelled horrible, reminding Pete of his puke-fest the night of tree shopping. That event certainly made the christmas season memorable.

No more than a few moments of his thinking, Patrick walked out into the livingroom and sat down next to him. He looked especially tired, and had dark bags under his eyes.

"Morning, Trick. Sleep well?"

Patrick shook his head, but smiled. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." Pete returned, giving him a good morning kiss.

Patrick blushed like a school girl. "Anyone else up?"

Pete shook his head. "Nope. Not yet. Just you and me Pattycakes."

Patrick rested his head comfortably on Pete's shoulder. "So...What did you get me?"

"A one-eyed llama. It was so hard to find one. I had to go to a freakshow and wrestle him from the bearded lady's grip. That bitch had it comin'."

"Very funny, smart-ass." Patrick giggled.

"But really. Aren't you gonna tell me?"

Pete thought for a moment and shrugged. "How about I show you?" Just then he got off the couch and walked into the next room. He came back a few seconds later with a small blue bag.

Patrick leaped from the couch and grabbed the present from his friend's grip. Hopping up and down like a bunny on crack, he asked "Can I open it?"

With the approving nod, his hands went for the gift. He threw the golden tissue paper into the air carelessly, and looked down into the bag. His eye's sparkled.

"No fucking way! This is exactly what I wanted!" He celebrated as he lifted the cd case out of the bag.

"Glad you like." Pete replied, pulling his friend into a hug.

After a moment of silence, Patrick flew into the other room and came back with an average sized present. It was wrapped in Green and white paper, with a large white bow on the top. On the tag in the corner it read, 'To the Rabbit, from the Trickster.'

Pete smiled and took a deep breath. Untying the ribbon and tossing it onto the floor, he carefully lifted the lid from the box. His face lit up. In the box, was a medium sized picture frame. It was white with gold trim, and on the top in gold lettering it read, 'always and forever'. In the picture frame was a black and white picture of him and Patrick, taken a year ago on his birthday.

"This is...Amazing. I love it." Pete choked back tears. It really was the best gift he had ever gotten. Even more so than the potato launcher he got last year for christmas. It was perfect.

"For the longest time I had absolutely no clue what to get you. Although, I was tempted to buy you some action figures. I knew I wanted to get you something kind of special. You know?" Patrick explained.

Pete gave a slight nod and smiled. Letting a tear slid down his cheek he said, "It's perfect. Your perfect."

Patrick smiled and gave him a hug. Almost immedately Joe, Andy and Ryan walked out.

"Ohhhhweeee! Are we interupting something, fellahs? Do you need some alone time? Are you gonna do the nasty?" Joe asked loud as ever.

Pete and Patrick broke apart. "Shut up and go get the presents!" Pete screamed, scaring the shit out of Joe.

"Merry christmas guys." Ryan greeted.

"Merry christmas." Pete and Patrick said in unison.

Joe came back out into the living room, carting a very large bag behind him. It was full to the brim with presents. Dumping the bag out on the floor he asked, "Well, are we gonna open them up now?"

"Yeah. Who wants to go first?" Andy asked.

"I will!" Joe yelled. Andy rolled his eyes and handed Joe a present with his name on it.

It didn't take him long to mutilate the box in front of him, and see what was inside. His eyes, starring widely into the box, gave him a slight resemblence to a 5 year old opening his first gift of the morning. He pulled out four small Starwars action figures.

"Thanks Pete!" He jumped acrost the room and tackled him to the ground.

Pete yelped. "Your welcome."

Joe lifted himself off of Pete, who had already been crushed underneath his weight. Joe looked around at the presents, picked one up and threw it at Patrick.

"That's from me." Andy said, pointing to the tag.

Patrick smiled and nodded and opened the package. Inside was a large book. On the cover it said, 'The Invention Of Hugo Cabret.'

"It looked really interesting I thought. It's half pictures half writting." He explained, adjusting his glasses.

"Thanks, Andy." Patrick hugged his friend and grinned.

"Alright, your turn Ryan." Ryan looked up from his spot on the floor and tilted his head in confusion.

"You guys got me gifts?" His friends nodded.

Ryan smiled. "Alright! Hand 'em over!"

Pete lifted a small box out from the others, and handed it to the smiling boy. Ryan opened it carefully not knowing what was inside.

"This is soooo cool!" He screeched, making everyone in the room jump. He lifted the small necklace out of the box. It had a long chain and at the end was a small silver sword.

"We wern't really sure what you'd like, but we all agreed on the neckalce. I hope you like it." Andy replied.

"Like it? I love it! It's awesome. Thanks dudes. You guys kick ass." He complimented.

Pete clapped. "Ok, now where's mine?" Joe picked up a gift and put it in Pete's shaky hands.

Waisting no time, he ripped open the paper and threw it on the ground.

"YES! Thanks Joe! I love Transformers!" He yelled and tackled Joe into a hug.

"Don't thank me..It was Ryan's idea. He said you were starring at them forever while you were at the store."

Ryan braced himself as he was thrown to the ground. "Thanks dude! You rock my socks." Pete landed a kiss on his cheek and sat back up.

"Andy! Think fast!" Pete threw a large present forcefully at Andy, hitting him straight in the face.

"Ouch! Douche bag!" Andy complained. Dispite how much his face was hurting, he opened his present. Lifting the green shirt out of the bag that Pete had gotten him, he laughed.

"Thanks Pete. I'm totally gonna wear it every day for the rest of my life."

And a merry merry christmas it was.
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