FicWad

Mikey sat down on the bed by his brother, “I don’t understand. What are you saying?”
Gerard shook his head slowly, his voice was raw with emotion, “Liv is dying, she’s fucking dying.”
“Dying?” Mikey couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “What are you talking about?”
“I just talked to Monica. Liv never left town. Everything she’s been doing since walking into my life that night at the Christmas Gala she’d done because she knew she was dying.”
Mikey shook his head in disbelief, “But she’s young, she can’t be dying.”
“Cancer.” Gerard spat the word out of his mouth, “She’s got cancer and there ain’t a fucking thing that can be done for her. She’s already in the final stages.” Tears blurred his vision.
“I’m so fucking sorry, bro. How did Monica find out?’
Gerard’s voice shook, “Because Monica just kept feeling that something was wrong. She couldn’t believe in her heart the Liv would go off and leave Elle. Fuck, I was so stupid I didn’t get it but she did. She went to the apartment where Liv and Elle had been living and found her. She was getting ready to go to a hospice center to die. Monica took her home and has been taking care of her.”
“Fuck, no wonder she sounds like something is wrong when you talk to her but I don’t get it. Why didn’t she tell you about Liv?”
Gerard sat up and wiped his eyes before reaching for his cigarettes, “Because she promised Liv she wouldn’t. Liv didn’t want me to know.”
“Fuck, think about how hard this has been for Monica.” He shook his head sadly, “So why did she tell you now?”
Gerard’s hands shook as he lit the cigarette, “Cause Liv’s changed her mind. She told Monica she wants to talk to me.” He inhaled deeply the blew the smoke out angrily, “She decided she fucking wants to talk to me before she dies. Guess having Bert with her made her feel bad she was leaving me out.”
Mikey heard the direction Gerard’s thoughts were going, “Gee, don’t be angry at a woman who’s dying. Don’t be angry cause she’s talked to Bert. It sounds like she’s trying to reach out to the two men she hurt.”
Gerard stood and walked over to the window. “I don’t know how to feel cause I’m so numb.”
The room grew silent for several minutes, “Gee, what did you say to Monica about all of this?”
Gerard was surprised by the question, “What do you mean?”
“Gee, she’s been caring for Liv. Think about it for a minute. Think about how hard this has to be for her. She knows how deeply you loved Liv and she’s gotta know that you still have feelings for her. Monica has been caring for a woman who has always come between you two.”
Gerard turned at looked at this brother sadly, “I haven’t even thought about Monica’s feeling. What kind of a fucked up man am I?”
“You’re a man who just got told some fucking horrible news, that’s what you are.” He watched his brothers expression closely, “So what are you going to do? Are you going to talk to Liv?’
Turning back to the window Gerard leaned his forehead against the cool glass. “Mikey, I have to talk to her. I have to know why.”
Mikey understood he was talking about the past. He needed to know why Liv had left him. “I know.” He whispered.

“I can hear Mom crying, this is all so fucking wrong.” Kara said closing her bedroom door. “I know she’s afraid Gerard is mad at her about not telling him.”
Bob sighed, “Hon, I’m sure he’s in shock right now. Shit, we all are.” I just saw Mikey go by heading for Ray and Matt’s room.” He had a thought, “What about Frank, shouldn’t someone tell him?”
“He knows.” Kara said returning to the bed. She sat down and grabbed her pillow to hug against herself. She suddenly felt cold and empty. “He overheard Mom telling Jamia at the hospital.”
“So all of you at home knew?”
“Yeah, Mom wasn’t gonna tell anyone but Alicia came by the house and found out. Once that happened Mom decided to tell Jamia and Christa because she’s so close to them.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry it was so hard for you not to tell me.”
Kara smiled sadly. It touched her deeply that he understood her feelings, “I wanted to tell you but we were all just trying to honor Liv’s wishes.” She took a breath then admitted, “I’ve really gotten to know her and I like her. Bob, this is all so fucked up. I don’t want her to die and I don’t want this to screw up Mom’s relationship with Gerard.”
Bob was surprised by her words, “What? Why would that happen?”
“Because Gerard will only focus on Liv. He’s not gonna see what this is doing to Mom. Fuck, she’s in there crying because she doesn’t know how he’s feeling about her. Would it have fucking killed him to tell her what a great thing she’s been doing here?”
He tried to make his wife understand where he though Gerard’s mind was coming from, “Look, I’m sure he’s just fucking shocked right now. He’s not thinking straight. Try to understand how he feels.”
“I don’t care how he feels.” Kara shot back angrily, “I care about how my Mom feels.”
Bob sighed, “Hun, I’m gonna go see what’s going on. All the guys are in Gee’s room now. I’ll call you back, okay.”
Kara leaned back and closed her eyes, “Yeah, okay.”
“I love you.” Bob said softly, “Tell me the truth, are you okay?”
Tears sprung to her eyes, “No, I’m not but there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Liv’s gonna die and the way she’s going it won’t be long. I know it sounds bad but I just want it to be over.”
“I understand.” Bob said wishing with all his heart he could take her in his arms, “I really do.”

Monica wiped her eyes and tried to make her voice sound strong, “Hello”
“I’m so fucking sorry I hung up like I did.”
“It’s okay, Gee. I understand what a shock this is for you.” In the darkened room Monica opened her eyes to see only shadows. She had drifted off to sleep a few minutes earlier.
“Yeah, fucking shocked. I just want you to know how much it means to me that you’ve done this for Liv.”
“I had to. When I saw the look of fear in her eyes when she told me I just had to.” Monica explained tiredly.
“Because you are a selfless woman who thinks of others.” Gerard said. He looked around the empty hotel room grateful the others had left. He needed to be alone right now.
Monica sighed, “Don’t say that, I’m no angel.”
“Yeah baby, you are. You’re my angel. Please don’t ever forget that.”
Tears threatened her eyes again, “Am I Gee? Really, am I?”
He hated that she sounded so insecure. “Monica I love you with every fiber of my being. I know I don’t always act like I mean that but I do. We’ll get through this together but I’m gonna need you by my side. I know that sounds selfish but I need you to be with me.”
“I am with you, always.” She whispered.
Gerard nodded his head, “Thank you. I’m coming home. I’ve talked with the guys and we’re figuring out how to handle this. It wouldn’t be right for me to miss more than one concert so I probably won’t be able to be there for more than a few hours before I have to leave again.” He heard Monica gently crying. “I have to see her. Please tell me you understand.” He begged.
Monica did understand, “I know.” She said softly. “I was expecting you to come home.”