FicWad

By the time 9 o'clock rolled in I nearly lost the little fragments of sanity I had, dad didn't even let me go down for dinner, he brought up a tray with dinner, juice and a fruit without saying a thing or looking at me.
I tried reading and listening to music and whatnot but nothing helped to stop the thoughts from creeping into my already crowded mind like unwanted shadows. I even changed for bed and put all the lights out only resulting in a violent tossing and turning so I went out to stare out of the window.
The first thing I saw was Gerard sitting on my old swing, the little light radiating from the house didn't reach him, darkness threatened to swallow him entirely but the flickering light of the tip of his cigarette and the flame of the lighter he flickered on and off that caught my eye.
I looked at him for a while, his face wasn't visible despite his paleness but the way he sat, swinging slowly, hunched over, taking a slow drag and exhaling even slower appeared extremely sad to me.
I pushed the window open, "Hey", he didn't budge therefore I came to the conclusion he didn't hear me, "Hey!".
He still didn't acknowledge me, deep in his little twisted world, I backed into my room, looking for something to attract his attention with. My gaze fell on my dinner tray and on the untouched apple. I grabbed it and darted back to the window. Gerard was still deep in his thoughts, putting a hand through his hair occasionally. Giggling to myself I aimed for his head, when the apple made contact with his skull he yelped, stumbling off the swing and shooting his gaze up. I waved joyfully, "So now you try to take me down"

"Yeah killing you with fruity delights," I stuck my entire upper body out of the window.

"I should be careful, crazy criminal such as yourself," I could hear him smile as he returned to his seat at his spot on the swing.

"I'm not sure about the criminal part," I giggled.

"I'm still not sure what went through that little pretty head of yours," I could see the motion in which his head shook.

I shrugged, not bothering to answer, "What are you doing?"

He took another drag of his half finished cigarette before answering, "Smoking"

"You look sad," I blurted out.

"Am I?," he looked down again.

"Hmm," I climbed on the window and sat on it, holding on to the branches, "Is it cause of what Mikey said?"

He looked up sharply and chucked on the smoke, coughing it out he exclaimed, "What the fuck are you doing?!"

"I'm just asking,"

"Climb in. Viola," he ordered, still couching like mad.

"Cause he didn't mean it like that"

"Viola," he said with a warning in his voice.

"No really, he didn't"

"In!," he cried out.

"I just wanna clear shit up," I smiled down sweetly.

"Please go back inside," he sighed, running his hand through his hair again.

"Why?"

"Cause you can fall off and hurt yourself"

"Why?"

"Cause no matter what you think you're not invincible"

"Why?"

"Cause you're human"

"Why?"

"Cause that's how it goes"

"Why?"

"Cause you were born human"

"Why?"

"cause your parents are human"

"No, why was I born?"

I bit my lips at the silence, he looked down again, taking another drag as though he was thinking about proper answer to get me back inside, "Cause that's the plan"

"Why?", a thick knot made an appearance in my stomach.

"Cause someone needs you"

"Why?"

"Cause they do"

"Why?"

"Fuck!," he exclaimed suddenly, "Just go fucking inside before I go up there and make you!"

"You're such a dick," I pouted.

"You have the logic of a basket case, now go inside!"

"But I'm bored," I whined.

"Fucking. Go. Inside," he hissed.

"Fine," I tossed my legs back into the room and as a sign of a protest shut the window closed.

10 minutes later a soft knock echoed through my cemetery silent room, "Go away"

"Vi?," he opened the door to a thin crack of light.

"Go away", I said definitely.

"Come on you could've fell off"

"Just go away"

He sighed before closing the door behind him. I rolled my eyes, I wanted him to go back to his house, he's on my case 24/7 nowadays. 'Vi don't hurt yourself' 'Vi be careful' 'Vi what were you thinking' 'Vi don't do crazy shit'...Where the fuck his conscious goes when it comes to fucking in public places? bastard.


Gerard was telling me to not jump when I told him to fuck off and something shook my body harshly. I moaned and rolled out of bed, landing on the hard floor with a thump and tangled in my blankets, I opened my eyes to meet dad's annoyed face, "Why are you still in bed? For once I don't wake you up and you're late"

I yawned, still surprised not to spot Gerard anywhere and trying to climb out of the blankets that were wrapped around me as though I was some kinda freaking mummy.

"Do you hear?," Dad's features twisted, "Or you listen only when you need something?"

I tensed, forgetting my attempts to get up, "You said to stay in my room till you say I can leave-"

Dad laughed but it wasn't the oh you're just too cute laugh, it was more of a if only I could've killed you in your sleep laugh, "Did someone tell you I'm extremely stupid?"

"No I figured it out by myself," I bit my tongue the moment these words slipped my lips.

Dad clenched his jaw so hard I expected his teeth to fall out the second he unclenched it, "Don't say things I might make you regret later"

"You asked I answered," I shrugged. There's times in one's life when their mind scream for them to drop the argument yet their mouth keeps producing words.

"No more games, Viola," Dad crouched next to me, "What I say goes, no more being a smart ass, no more manipulation, no more breathing unless I say you can. Do I make myself clear?"

"Are you bipolar, daddy? Cause if you're not stupid that's the only explanation," I asked with innocence spelled all over my face.

"Do I have to define no more being smart ass, I thought you were more clever then to disobey me"

"But I didn't," I smiled, "You said I can't leave my room and I didn't, you should be more specific if you want me to do things right, stupidity runs in the family you know"

"You just got yourself grounded for another month," He revealed his sparkly white teeth in a cold smile, "That way we can work on your discipline. I want you out of the house on your way to school in 6 minutes. Clear enough for you?", he gave me a pet on the head and stomped out of my room.

My middle finger saluted him but exactly 5 minutes later I was dressed, washed and armed with a toast and a juice box.
I dragged my feet behind Mikey and Gerard, sulking and ranting about my bitch of a father. Mikey listened and nodded at the right places, "Who wanna play a little game?"

Mikey frowned at my sudden brightness, "What game and I'm not stealing anything"

I punched his arm a little, "It's called who ditches school with me"

"Didn't your dad want you on your way to school?," Gerard mimicked him with scary accurateness.

"Yeah on my way," I stressed, "He didn't actually said in school, I could be still on my way to school"

"What about the math test?," Mikey shook his head, disapprovingly.

"Fuck it," I smiled brightly, "I know shit anyway"

"Me too," he sighed, "But it's better to fail then not doing it at all"

"Come on, Mikey", I wrapped my arms around him from behind, "Life is short. Fuck math, I wanna live!"

"Are you high?," he winced at my tight embrace.

"No just alive," I squealed with delight, squeezing him tighter.

"Yeah not for long," he insisted, "What if your dad finds out?"

"Big deal," I dismissed him with a wave, "I'll get another month at least I'll have fun"

"Well do what you want, I'm going," he shrugged and continued to walk to school whose gates were just around the corner.

"You need some help with that stick up your ass?, "I yelled after him, he flipped me off without glancing around.

"Leave him alone," Gerard said darkly.

"Ditto", I glared at him.

"Oh I can't play?," He smirked, looking down at me.

"Fine," I shrugged, "But I'm not fucking you"

"Oh no!", he laughed, sarcastically.