FicWad

When Kara got home late that afternoon she went into Kelly’s room and found a photo she could use. Carefully she cut the picture of Elle to fit inside the locket. It was hard to keep her tears from falling as she closed the locket. Once it was done she walked down the hall to Liv’s room. Monica smiled when she saw her.
“I told Liv you took Elle shopping today.”
Liv turned to look over at Kara, “How is she?” Her voice sounded weak.
“She had fun shopping. I tried to work on her fashion sense.” Kara said moving into the room. “The kid will be okay though, she likes jewelry.” She said trying to make Liv smile.
“I’m going to go down and start dinner.” Monica said rising. “I think I just heard Bert pull up and I’m anxious to see how he did grocery shopping.”
Liv smiled, “Poor Bert. I can’t believe you made him grocery shop. No telling what he bought.”
Monica nodded, “It probably will be interesting.” She looked over at Kara, “You gonna stay with Liv for a bit?”
Kara nodded, “Yeah, I’m sure she wants to hear more about Bug.”
Monica gave Kara a quick hug on her way out of the room. Kara took the chair she’d vacated. “So, much pain today?”
Liv signed, “Carrie was here earlier and they upped my medicine again. Shit, good thing it don’t matter if I get addicted.”
Kara really was impressed with Liv’s strength. She was actually trying to make light of the fact she was dying. “I guess you can look at it that way.” She said with a slight smile.
“So tell me about Elle? What was she wearing today? Is she happy staying at Donna’s?’
“Well, lets see. She had on jeans and a Cinderella tee-shirt.”
“I got that for her.” Liv said quickly, “It was on sale and I knew how much she wanted it.”
Kara had to ask the question that came to her mind. “Liv, why didn’t you ask for money from Gerard? I mean I’m sure you and Bug could have used the help.”
Liv thought a moment, “Cause of pride, I suppose. At first when I thought he knew about her but didn’t want her I threatened to go to the press.” She closed her eyes, “I never really would have done that. I would never have wanted Elle to think he didn’t want her.”
“Okay but about after he did find out. I’m sure Mom offered you money. Why didn’t you accept?”
“Pride again.” Liv said opening her eyes; “The idea of taking any help from your mom was hard for me. I just wanted to hate the woman.” She looked into Kara’s eyes, “That proved impossible.”
Kara tightened her fingers around the locket in her hand. She was about to give it to Liv when she spoke. “So your mom says she told Gee about me. She said he’s shocked. Think he’ll talk to me?” Kara could here the longing in Liv’s voice. She wanted to talk to Gee.
“I’m sure he will.” Kara said remembering they weren’t going to tell Liv until he knew for sure when he was coming. “I can just imagine how hard finding out was for him.”
“Do you really think so?” Once more Kara could hear the pain and uncertainly in her voice,
“Liv, he loves you.” Kara said softly. “You have to know that.”
Liv shook her head, “He did once but now he loves your mom.”
This subject was hard for Kara. She didn’t want to see her mom get hurt and it could so easily happen. “Yeah, he loves mom but Gerard likes to hold on to the past.”
“I really shouldn’t have come here.” Liv whispered. “It’s wrong that I’ve done this to you mom.”
Kara wasn’t sure how to answer, “Look, Mom brought you here because she felt it was the right thing to do. I stayed to help her because I thought it was the right thing to do. We all make choices in our lives. We do what we feel in our hearts is right. None of us believe you should have gone off on your own to…”
Liv smiled, “Die. It’s okay you can say the word.” She shook her head, “Man, I’ve noticed how many people avoid it.”
Kara smiled, “Well yeah, I guess that’s true.” She stood up, “Here, this is from Bug.” She handed the locket to Liv.
“From Elle?” Liv was shocked, “But she doesn’t know I’m here, right?” She began to become upset.
“No, she doesn’t” Kara explained quickly. “We were shopping and she saw that. When she learned that it would open and you could put a picture in it she wanted to get it for you.”
Liv’s eyes began to tear and she opened the locket and saw the photo of Elle inside. “Oh” she said softly.
Kara blinked away her own tears, “I told her I would find a picture of her to put in it. She wanted it as a gift for you when you come home to get her.” Kara sat down and wiped her eyes.
“Oh Baby.” Liv said dissolving into tears. “My Baby.” She closed the locket and held it tightly to her chest.
“Want me to help you put it on?” Kara asked softly.
“Please.” Liv whispered.
Once the locket was fastened around her neck Liv put on hand up to hold it against her chest. “I miss her so much.” She cried.
Kara closed her eyes tightly. She couldn’t bear to see Liv’s pain anymore.

“You gonna be okay?” Mikey asked touching Gerard’s shoulder. They were about to go on stage and all the band members were worried about Gerard.
“Yeah, I’m good.” Gerard lied.
Mikey gave him a hug and whispered, “I know how fucking hard this is for you. Don’t worry we’ll get you home somehow.”
“So I can tell her goodbye.” Gerard whispered. He stood back and closed his eyes tightly. The show must go on. He had to put Liv out of his mind to make it through the concert.
The first few numbers went by and Gerard seemed to be handling the stress. When the opening bars to “I Don’t Love You” began Gerard walked back to the drum riser and took a long sip of water. The band members all watched him closely. Mikey who was the closest saw his hands shaking. He had always known his brother has written the song with Liv in his mind.
Gerard returned to center stage and sang the song with such emotion it was painful for the band members who understood to hear. He got through the song and turned back to face Bob. Quickly he wiped his eyes.
“House of Wolves” got him back on track. He seemed to lose himself in the song as he prowled the stage. He looked and sounded angry.
However when the opening notes to “Cancer” began, he lost it. Gerard turned away from the audience and looked over at Ray with a stricken look. Without a thought Ray took center stage and sang the song. Gerard took the time to walk off stage and get his emotions under control.
The rest of the concert went on as planned. It was hard for Gerard to sing some of the Revenge songs because Liv’s memory played such an important part in them but he did it. He knew he couldn’t let the fans down. After the last song he went off the stage and the band members understood there were be no encore. Gerard couldn’t sing anymore.
Mikey handed his bass to the guitar tech and ran to catch up with his brother.
“Sorry, I can’t go back on.” Gerard told him, his voice was rough.
“Man, it’s okay. We understand.”
Ray caught up to them, “Gee, you did great.”
“I couldn’t fucking sing “Cancer”. I just couldn’t.” Gerard said still walking. He wanted to get back to his hotel room. He wanted to be alone.
“It’s okay.” Ray said, “Hey, it gave me a chance to show off my voice.” He said trying to lighten the mood.
“Thanks” Gerard said. “Thanks for understanding.”
Ray grabbed his arm and stopped him, “Look you stupid Mother Fucker. I understand, we all understand. We love you man. If there was anything we could do you know we would.”
Gerard nodded, “Yeah, I know.” He stepped back, “I just wanna get back to the hotel, you know?”
Bob and Matt had joined the group. They all watched as Gerard walked down the hall. “He’s losing it.” Mikey said softly.