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Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Boy Who Vanished

Reviews

• The Boy Who Vanished

  (#) koppe 2008-04-13

  So far so good.
  I really hope that the budding friendship between Harry, Hermione and Pansy will blossom into something more... preferbly a physical relationship with halfblood Harry fathering children on both muggleborn Hermion and pureblood Pansy (though I realize that is probably jumping the gun quite a bit, as they're 11 ;-).
  What is it with Parvati? Why is she jumpy and what is it about the scar? Does Pansy knows something about it? Will Harry take more girls under his wing -- Parvati and perhaps Padma... and later maybe Luna (Pansy as a Ravenclaw could take her under her wing) and/or Ginny? If he does, will that (too?) develop into more than friendship?
  Liked the explaination about Harry first becomming a Potter and Lord at 17. It obviously made Harry less likely to dance after Dumbledore's tune.
  How far will Voldemort -- and Dumbledore -- go to force a showdown between Harry and Voldemort? Will the girls help Harry?
  Will Harry -- and Hermione and Pansy -- brave the secret of the door in the 3rd floor corridor?
  Regarding Pansy... What will her familly do now that her future marriage to Draco is off? Will they punish her... try to get it back on track... try to marry her off to someone else...? Will they try to force (and maybe not much force is required) Harry to "take responsibility" for ruining her prospect -- and damaging her reputation by hanging around her? Maybe Pansy will seduce/ask Harry to ask her parents for her hand, propose, marry her (maybe a cermony only involving the two (or three) of the)... or perhaps simply making her "damaged goods" by sleeping with her, so her parents have no choice than to let them marry? Will Draco then try to force Pansy to abaide by the arrangement with him?
  In any case, it's refreshing to see Pansy as a "good girl" and a friend to both Harry and Hermione... as well as a possible romantic interest to Harry.
  The only problem I have with your story, is that there are some spelling-errors. Mostly similar sounding words, like their/they're, than/then and so on... errors a spell-checker won't catch (or make worse). Then there are some word that should be two words, and vice versa. In either case, you'd benefit from a beta-reader.
  Keep up the good work, and update soon!
  

  Author's response

  While I will admit that I need a Beta. If you know any one willing to work with a slightly off schedule writer please show them my way. For right now I don't have any plans for any pairings in the immediate future of the story like you said they are still 11 year olds. I'm going to slowly show what has happened in the world since Harry was never marked as Tommy's equal. So some of the future chapters will not involve the new trio has the stars of the chapter like the next one. Later

• The Boy Who Vanished

  (#) koppe 2008-04-13

  Oops, forgot...
  I absolutly loved the little look into Bella and Barty's -- and by extension Narcissa and Lucius', and other purebloods' -- married-life, and problems with fertility (another reason why halfblood Harry should shack-up with both a pureblood and a muggleborn girl -- if not more). Perhaps they'll become future allied to Harry in the fight against Voldemort? That they at least see that killing children when their world is on the brink, is at least positive...
  
  Perhaps they'd benifit from abducting Hermione, and getting an introduction about the new and exciting muggle-field of genetics -- and the dangers of too shallow a gene-pool? Or perhaps Hermione could give a report/lecture/talk about it in some class -- or simply talk to some classmates about it, so purebloods heard about the dangers from others?
  

• The Boy Who Vanished

  (#) ironau 2008-04-14

  Very interesting and I like the little plot hooks sprinkled through out. The past life of Harry will be interesting to watch unfold. I'm curious to see if Lily's "fictional" history has had an impact on Bella's outlook on life. What will happen to Pansy during the holiday break. The Dumbledore inheritance issue will be interesting to watch unfold. I am also looking forward to seeing your vision of a magical Britain that has been at war for about 30 years. Even the little plot hook about Pavratti's scar is intriguing.
  
  quite good even without a copy editor. The originality is outstanding bring a freshness even to plot lines that have been overworked.

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