Categories > Books > Harry Potter > One Man Army
Reviews
One Man Army
(#) cj_cold 2008-04-13
Nice chapter.
Like the way the story is developing.
Will send you some suggestions via email later.
My vote is victory but at cost. Make Harry understand that training is over and he is going to lose some of his people. Even though he wins he should understand the saying
"The only thing worse than a battle lost is a battle won."
--Arthur Wellesley, Aftermath of the Battle of Waterloo, 1815.
British general & politician (1769 - 1852)
It is even British so something he may have heard in school.
More soon please.Author's response
Don't worry there will be losses on his side. Not much to permanently get them out of commission but enough.One Man Army
(#) cj_cold 2008-04-13
I like ACC-07, I assume she is going ot be Harry's right hand woman.
Suggestions for names.
Accalia - Mythical Greek Name
Calla - Beauty(Greek)
Alexandra - Defender of Men(Greek)
Callista - Most beautiful (Greek)
Callisto - beautiful (Greek)
Calandra - Bird (Greek)
Also I was thinking that you might want to add some more little defects in the future to vary the girls looks somemore. Examples would be a recessive gene for Harry's mother's red hair. His fathers eye color either brown or hazel I think.
LaterAuthor's response
I can't do that, as I told you guys before in the AN. Kaminoans are perfectionists, Harry just convinced that gender is not a problem within the army. But he didn't say facial appearance, thus the Kaminoans will instant designate any clones that do not hold resemblance to the original template as defected thus 'reprocessed'. Also I didn't want to because it gives harry a Oepidus-complex (son having sex with his mom). Remember he's 14 years old thus it will cause some problems in his world to see him dating/sleeping with a woman looking like his mother.One Man Army
(#) tomcool 2008-04-13
i agree i cj.. make it as victory at a cost. also please make him have some sex. there is no way he can work that hard without relaxation.Author's response
not good at sex scenes. Need someone else to do it for me.One Man Army
(#) Cateagle 2008-04-13
I like the build-up this chapter gives for the first battle. I'd have to agree with cj_cold and tomcool, victory but at a price and, in response to all the death around them, an affirmation of life as Harry and ACC-07, or some female, indulge in some hot and heavy sex as soon as circumstances permit. Since she's a commander, I'd suggest Athena as the name for ACC-07.
I'll also agree with cj_cold that it would be interesting to see various recessive traits in Harry's genome - his father's eye color, his mother's hair color, etc. show up in the clones despite them being "identical". These should be defects in the cloning process itself rather than defects in the parties they appear in.Author's response
At the moment, I suck at smut!! T.T as much as I love to read some, I cannot write smut for crap. As for the answer about the different trait subject, please read my responce to CJ_Cold's review for my reason and answer. IF Vanir want's to he can write the smut for this story.One Man Army
(#) dennisud 2008-04-13
Don't forget you want him to return to Earth and really kick Voldy-shorts ass as well as eliminate the death eaters and maybe 'fix' some prejudiced views. As for a harem, maybe his Female Clone aide but i stick to just the closest to him, Ginny, Hermione and Luna!
Then he could go back and kick more Empire ass and add a Jedi or two to his ranks as they hide from the empire!
dennisudAuthor's response
I'm not leaning to ginny at the moment. The canon pairings are so cliched. I mean seriously, Harry's dad married a red-head and then Harry follow the suit and marry a red-head too? J.K. Rowling disappointed me there. I expected I better pairing than that ( I guess she rushed it). I'm not insulting anyone's view! I'm just speaking mymind and reason. I will definitely get some jedis, you guys will be suprised at what I have in store for this story Sinister Laugh. He will eventually go back home, but it will be WAY into the story and it also will have a twist. As for the empire, I'm still considering if I should follow into the the Galatic Empire or not.One Man Army
(#) DaemonSadow 2008-04-13
Give him a harem. I really think you need to give him his female clone aide and a jedi or two and then send him back to earth.One Man Army
(#) fety0101 2008-04-13
I'm not against Harem stories but i cant stand Ginny or Hermione in them they're just wrong. Story is great so far, bit fast but nothing really wrong with that, as for going back to earth i dont think it would be good to go back to soon. i agree with the suggestion of Athena for ACC-07, Victory in the battle, major injury to Harry thats puts him out of action for a whileAuthor's response
I won't wound him too seriously, just enough to get him in the hospital for a few days. Remember, advanced regeneration, has it's uses for him. I agree with you on the Hermione and Ginny Pairing. Also I will have a vote to see if I should bash them or not.One Man Army
(#) cj_cold 2008-04-13
Athena sounds like a good name.
And Harry should only be injured if the female clones are going to nurse him back to health. Including sponge bathing him. Hello Nurse!
As for the Harem it should be three to four galactic girls. As for Earth girls it depends on how much time will have past while he has been gone.
By the way with Kamino being an ocean world do they use submarines, or for that matter water ships. I know they hae those cool cities up on stilts but with their tech couldn't they build underwater.
Looking forward to Harry and Legions moving out after the civil war is over. Maybe carving out a pocket empire. Should be interesting to see hwo things are when Phantom Menace starts.
LaterAuthor's response
Right now, I don't know how many romances he should get. As for info about Kamino, here is a small peace of it's history:
it used to be a frozen world, but the ice melted and submerged all cities they have at the time including Derem City(their former capital). They genetically change themselves to get gills along with their nose/lungs to breath. So they are adept swimmers and don't use submarines except for cloning some of those flying creature from Naboo (also genetically altered) to be used as transportation in the air and under the sea.
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