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Categories > Original > Romance

Reviews

• Ongaku

  (#) XxkyorocksxX 2008-04-15

  That was pretty^^ r u refering to me when you say frind? YAY!!

• Ongaku

  (#) XxkyorocksxX 2008-04-15

  PRETTY!!! I lubed it!>w<
  were you refering to me when you said friend??? huh?
  lol

  Author's response

  Yes, lmao, I was referring to you. Thanks by the way. ^_^ Yeah....and no need to review twice. (Although I assume that was a mistake)
  -is happy-

• Ongaku

  (#) MarkPoa 2008-05-19

  The writing is fairly good and I think the use of music or instruments as descriptions is fairly unique.
  
  I do think you need to work on the pacing a little bit better. The ambiance was pretty good and evoked a moody feel, but the sentences (especially the long ones) made the story feel rushed. I thought it had a bad effect overall and removed some of the somberness of the piece.
  
  I do look forward to more of this.

  Author's response

  Wow, I never thought of that. Thanks.
  
  I think I see what you mean. I'm really weak at that sort of thing, so I don't know, but I'll put that comment into consideration.
  
  Thank you for reviewing.

• Ongaku

  (#) BlackAngelChick 2008-06-11

  Ooohhh, I like it. Very original.

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