Categories > Original > Romance
Reviews
Ongaku
(#) XxkyorocksxX 2008-04-15
PRETTY!!! I lubed it!>w<
were you refering to me when you said friend??? huh?
lolAuthor's response
Yes, lmao, I was referring to you. Thanks by the way. ^_^ Yeah....and no need to review twice. (Although I assume that was a mistake)
-is happy-Ongaku
(#) MarkPoa 2008-05-19
The writing is fairly good and I think the use of music or instruments as descriptions is fairly unique.
I do think you need to work on the pacing a little bit better. The ambiance was pretty good and evoked a moody feel, but the sentences (especially the long ones) made the story feel rushed. I thought it had a bad effect overall and removed some of the somberness of the piece.
I do look forward to more of this.Author's response
Wow, I never thought of that. Thanks.
I think I see what you mean. I'm really weak at that sort of thing, so I don't know, but I'll put that comment into consideration.
Thank you for reviewing.
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