Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I'll Be Here. Ready To Take That Bullet.
Hey guys! =) I'm having a good dayyyy! I got accepted to this magnet art academy and I'm really excited! I start there next year. =D Wh00t. I'm in the car and I'm staring out the window, all the clouds are together looking and fluffy, and then there's this one that looks all spread out and it caught my eye. Why am I typing this? Anyways, here's the next chapter! Sorry that the last one was kind of sad, it's going to get better now(I think...)! REVIEW IT BITCHESSS.
-Finch
P.s.- Yes, despite the lack of reviews I am still posting the next chapter, seeing as people READ BUT DON'T REVIEW. FREAKING REVIEW IT. AGH! I still urge you to go back and review the last chapter though. =D
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FRANK'S POV:
I sat in the hospital bed, wating, as usual. What was Gerard going to do today? Yesterday was kind of odd... well... it was kind of heartbreaking. Why do we keep making up and breaking apart? It's not fun. All day it felt like my heart would take random flips and jumps, just thinking about Gerard. He had yelled at me yesterday, and then walked out. That's so unlike him. What was happening to him anyways? I had asked him but he hadn't really explained anything to me at all, just that he wasn't okay and that this was all his fault... I hope he's not doing anything bad. Like pills or something. I shook at my own thoughts, please don't do that Gee. You've been me hero for forever for getting over all of that stuff. What will I do when you're gone, when you're lost completely? That wouldn't be okay.
Again, it surprised me when the nurse walked into the room. And, again, she gave me a breifing of my condition and told me that they boys were coming by shortly. I waited anxiously for them all, especially Gerard. I kind of felt guilty about not spending too much time with Ray, Bob, and Mikes. Today I wasn't going to let htme leave the room. If Gerard had something to tell me then the rest of the guys could hear it too, they needed to know by now. My ears caught the smallest sound of footsteps outside the door and in a rush of happiness Ray came running into the room,
"Frankie!" He squealed happily.
Bob followed in, smiling at me. Not soon after came Mikey and after Mikey came.... came... What? Where's Gerard?
"Where's Gee?" Dammit. THe first real time I had spent with these guys in days and I could only talk about Gerard!
They all stared at me, dumbstruck.
"Uhmm, well, you see, Gee couldn't come today." Mikey said, smiling stupidly.
"He wanted us to have time with you too!" Bob covered for him.
Although I could tell they were lying I had to act like I believed them. My heart lurched at their words though. No... he wasn't coming at all today. Not even just for a few amazing seconds. He wouldn't even stop by.
"Oh. Well okay then." I smiled back.
Apparently I had smiled good enough to make them believe I was really okay because then Bob smiled a big smile back. Finally, I got to talk to them!
"How have you been Frankie?" Mikey asked, smiling like a puppy.
"I've been pretty good actually, except for the broken ribs and stuff." I tried to chuckle a litte bit, but I only ended up caughing.
And in result from caughing I ended up in extreme pain. Damn these fucking ribs!
"Oh God sorry Frank!" Mikey put his hands on the back of his head.
Where have I seen this before? Oh yeah, that's right, it's the same reaction Gerard gave me. What's up with the Way brothers?
"No Mikes, it's okay, I'm fine now." I told him, clenching one eye and gritting my teeth in between sentances.
He chuckles a little bit. At least he didn't take it as hard as Gerard did. It fills me with joy to know that they are all just happy to know I'm alive. Why couldn't Gerard just be happy? Why do I keep thinking about fucking Gerard?! I need to get him out of my mind.
----Later----
Today was amazingly good actually. I got to spend time just with Mikey, Ray, and Bob. I was actually kind of glad that Gee didn't come. Awh, who am I kidding. I missed him so damn badly. Where are you Gerard? Are you okay? Are you still hurt? Please come back Gee. Please come back. After the guys left the nurse checked on me, making sure I was okay and giving me my medications. I was on my way to recovery. But slowly. How will I make t through this Gerard doesn't come and see me? I think I would go completely insane without him. My eyes blurr as I stare up at the intense whiteness of the hospital. Please don't be mad at me Gee. A soft, quiet tear runs down my cheek as I float off into my dream land again.
----The Bus----
MIKEY'S POV:
The car ride home was long and quiet without Gerard, well, he never really talked that much anyways, but there was something missing. Maybe it was because ever since we were little we had never really stopped spending time together. Gerard worked for a while and so did I, then the next thing I know I'm in his band and we are spending a lot of time together again. Not that I had a problem with that, but I guess I just got so used to him always being there. Sometimes it was nice to have a break though. I guess it was just the fact that Frankie was in the hospital that made me need Gerard right now. It was uncomfrtable.
Upon entering the bus we realized the TV was on, we didn't think much of it though, Gee must have forgotten to turn it off. Ray and Bob went off in their seperate ways as I walked towards the bunkroom to find Gerard. Before I had reached the hall I saw him in the kitchen. What was he doing? Oh my God. Oh my God what are you doing Gerard?! What the hell! He must be really sick! Maybe he has the stomach flu?! Who am I kidding, Gee's messed up again and he wont even talk to me about it.
"Gerard? Gerard what are you doing?!" I yelled at him.
I watched as he slipped to the floor, crying. I could only stand there, staring at the pitiful man that was on the floor. This was just a little too much to deal with right now. Everything's happening too quickly for me. First they were lumps, then Gerard was a beat-up lump and Frankie was a grumpy-lump, then Frank ran away and got hit by a car and now he's a hospital-lump! And Gerard of course is just a crying-lump, on the floor, in the kitchen, sitting before me. I just stood and watched, my face rather dissapointed.
I crouch down by him and watch him cry for another few seconds. What happened to the Gerard that I was proud of? The Gerard that had overcome so many obstacles and still managed to be the amazing person he is today? I want that Gerard back. As I stood there, thinking about the old Gerard, I realized how much he had put us all through. His dumb choices put us all under a lot pf pressure. And Frank thought he was the one that should have left. Now I was just kind of angry I am at him. But no matter how mad I was at my brother, I could never just leave him.
I leant forward and grabbed him, holding him in my arms. I didn't say anything to him. He just cried into my shirt, shaking and quivering and sniffling. It was moments like these when I hoped that Gerard would see how much I loved him. Come and Gee, let's be above this. Eventually I got him up and into the bunkroom. Since my bunk was on the bottom and I doubt Gerard could climb up to his own bed, I let him sleep in mine. He fell asleep, soflty crying. I closed the curtains so he could have privacy... or maybe it was so I didn't have to see him like this.
----The Next Day----
Today we wouldn't be going to visit Frankie. We all felt pretty bad, but today we had to get into our hotel. We all slept until around 12:00, when we finally got up and started eating, watching TV, packing up our things, stuff like that. It was really slow this morning. Something so distant. It felt like we were all floating in space, no words spoken to eachother. After a while we had finally packed all of our things into our suitcases, getting ready to head out the door. It was now around 3:00. Gerard hadn't asked about going to visit Frankie today, but it was best that way, it was a sensitive subject between all of us.
The bus driver left after we caught the cab. We hadn't taken the bus to the hotel to avoid people seeing us and getting us off task. Usually the fans made everything better, but we just wanted to get done with it. Still, everything moved so slowly and quietly. Gerard hadn't eaten anything today, and he was looking a bit paler than usual, I was beggining to worry about him dearly. After Frank and him... kissed I guess... he hadn't been the same. I was really missing my brother by now. To think it had only been about a week wince we played our last show. A week since everything was perfectly fucking fine.
The hotel room was actually pretty roomy compared to our bus. There were four beds and a couch, enough beds for us and maybe Frank if we stay for long enough after he gets out. The walls were tan and the bed sheets were yellow, the pillows were white and the couch was red. How casual. It didn't really bug me though, it beat the shitty bunks in the bus. I'm glad to be out of that thing, there were a lot of bad memories in it. But there were good memories too I guess, it wasn't all bad. Gerard immediatly plopped down on the couch a flipped on the TV. Eventually we all ended up watching reruns of Scrubs. I actually liked that show, it was kind of funny. Better than thinking about out current situation I suppose.
We all fell asleep on the couch or on the floor with a pillow. It was nice to be able to spread out like this.
------------------The Next Day---------------------
GERARD'S POV:
I woke up this morning not wanting to move at all. I was becoming increasingly weak from not eating. Despite my lack of energy I still didn't want to eat. I was so fat and disgusting. I want to be skinny and sexy when Frank gets out of the hospital, maybe it would be a nice surprise. I would have to try extra hard to be hot enough for Frankie, he's just so damn attractive. Sometimes I wondered how someone as perfect as him could ever like someone like me, if he still did that is. After laying on the couch thinking about this it only made me feel worse about yelling at him the other day. Why couldn't I just rewind time and make sure none of this ever happened?
I noticed that everyone else was already up and moving. I hoped we would go see Frank today, I really needed to see his face and take in his smell. Mikey walked over as he had noticed my open eyes,
"Feel up to going to the hospital today, Gee?" He asked as if he had forgotten yesterday completely.
"Yeah..." I replied with a sleepy smile.
Mikey smiled big at me and walked off to make some breakfast, most likely toaster strudel or something of that sort. After some rucus, then silence, I smelled the burning food in the toaster and immediatly hopped up. I couldn't help but laugh a bit to myself. Mikey had fallen asleep standing up, his head lolled over to the side and his hip resting in the corner of the kitchen.
"Mikey!" I barked at him playfully.
He woke up with a jolt and grabbed a fork.
"Don't even think about sticking that in the damn toaster Mikes." I told him, crossing my arms.
He looked over at me, his eyes like little rabbit squirrel eyes. It made me smile even wider. I really did love my fucking little brother. He was the best little brother ever.
As I had predicted he made some cheap toaster food. He threw me a poptart like a ninja star. It came flying at my and hit me in the chest. I fumbled with the poptart for a few seconds before it dropped to the ground. Mikey sure did know how to cheer me up. We both started laughing at the fallen poptart. I don't remember the last time I felt this happy besides seeing Frank, but even then I felt incredibly guilty. There's always something to live for I suppose. Now I was feeling better about today.
Mikey threw me another poptart, I caught it this time. Usually(despite the horrible burnt-ness) I would have eaten the poptart, but I just stared at it for a moment. He watched me from the kitchen, waiting for me to take a bite. I acted as happy as I could as I took a bite, walking away as I chewed it as if I had something to do. Upon reaching the bathroom I spit the mouth of chewed up poptart into the trashcan. That's disgusting to even think about swallowing something with so much fat. I kind of felt bad about throwing away something Mikey had made, even if all he did was pop it in the toaster.
Before I knew it we were all dressed and ready to go. I was actually rather happy about seeing Frank today. I was going to fix everything today. I was going to tell him all that's been going on and everything I wanted to tell him, ever. Ray, Bob, and Mikey were all happy to see me so enthusiastic today, I was pretty surprised at myself too though. I hoped Frank would be as happy as I was.
----At The Hospital----
My stomach had been doing flips all the way to the hospital, up the elevator, and into the hallway. We finally reached his door and my heart raced faster and faster until I thought it might explode. I was the first one in the door when the nurse opened it. Frankie looked at me, I couldn't tell his expression until after a few seconds he smiled at me.
"Gee?" He asked.
It was almost like he was asking if this was the real me. It made me happy to know that he wasn't still scared.
"Yeah Frankie. It's me." I told him as I walked closer.
I bent down like a little action figure and pecked him on the lips. Wow. Things were repaired so quickly after it all went to hell. Five simple words and Frank and I were back to being our happy selves. Just our happy-to-see-you selves. Our lucky-to-know-you selves. As soon as I had thought that we were all happy again, I remembered I had to tell him what's been going on, and why I didn't visit the other day. I simply looked back at the guys, Mikey just smiled and grabbed Ray's sleeve. Bob threw his hands in the air,
"Fine! Fine! We're leaving!" I laughed at him and Frankie just smiled.
I sat on the edge of Frank's bed, facing him. His soft eyes and his weak smile made me want to smother him right then and there. His hand slowly slipped into mine and he held hands. Everything was silent for a second, but then I realized that Frank's expression had changed suddenly.
"Gerard, are you okay? You don't look too good."
I acted on impulse.
"U-uh yeah, yeah. I'm just fine Frankie." I tried to smile back, but he saw through it.
"I'm done being lied to Gee. I want the truth. Are. You. Oh. Kay?" He sounded it out for me.
I just couldn't lie to his sweet little face anymore. It took me a moment but after a second I finally pushed it out.
"I haven't been eating a lot lately. I just can't get the food down my throat." My voice was shaky.
Frank's thumb ran across mine, comforting me.
"How much have you not been eating exactly?" He asked, major concern in his eyes.
"Well..." I really didn't want to tell him.
"...I haven't eaten since you got in the hospital." I looked away from him.
His hand squeezed tighter on mine.
"Wh-why Gee?" He asked me sadly.
Wasn't he happy that I has going to be skinnier?
"Because I'm fucking fat and you're too good for me!" I scrunched up my eyebrows a little bit, but didn't take my hand away.
"You are not fat Gerard. If you were any skinnier you might wilt away!" He lied to me.
How was I supposed to believe that? Right as I was about to say something, Frank started another sentance.
"Do you love me?" He asked.
What a dumb question,
"Of course I love you! I love you more than life itself!"
"If you loved me you would eat." He told me, his voice stern and serious.
I broke my hand from his and covered my face with my palms. Dammit Frank. Why can't you understand?
"That day..." He began to say.
"When you came in and looked... really sick. What was going on?"
"Nothing. I just didn't feel good."
"That's a lie. Stop lying to me!"
"Okay, fine! I ran to the bathroom and threw up!"
"Oh so now you're bulemic?!"
Why didn't he understand?! I fell backwards so I was laying on the edge of the bed, next to Frankie. I looked into his eyes.
"I'm so sorry Frank." I told him softly. I reached forward and brushed his hair from his face. A tear slid down my face and onto the soft, white hospital bed.
"I love you Gerard. Please don't forget that." Frankie told me. I slowly grew closer to him, making sure I was completely careful of his broken ribs. I didn't want to hurt him ever, ever, ever again. Our lips locked gently, a new beggining, letting him know that I was going to stay by his side, all the way.
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Long, important chapter! >=D Did that one surprise you? Probably not... whether or not it did, I want to let you know that next chapter will be a time lapse! =O Only a few more chapters guysssss! But the last chapters are bound to be fucking amazing. BE HAPPY! BE HAPPY I TELL YOU! NOW GODDAMIT REVIEW THE CHAPTER! Ahehhe. ;^__^ Love youuuuuu.
-Finch
P.s.- Yes, despite the lack of reviews I am still posting the next chapter, seeing as people READ BUT DON'T REVIEW. FREAKING REVIEW IT. AGH! I still urge you to go back and review the last chapter though. =D
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FRANK'S POV:
I sat in the hospital bed, wating, as usual. What was Gerard going to do today? Yesterday was kind of odd... well... it was kind of heartbreaking. Why do we keep making up and breaking apart? It's not fun. All day it felt like my heart would take random flips and jumps, just thinking about Gerard. He had yelled at me yesterday, and then walked out. That's so unlike him. What was happening to him anyways? I had asked him but he hadn't really explained anything to me at all, just that he wasn't okay and that this was all his fault... I hope he's not doing anything bad. Like pills or something. I shook at my own thoughts, please don't do that Gee. You've been me hero for forever for getting over all of that stuff. What will I do when you're gone, when you're lost completely? That wouldn't be okay.
Again, it surprised me when the nurse walked into the room. And, again, she gave me a breifing of my condition and told me that they boys were coming by shortly. I waited anxiously for them all, especially Gerard. I kind of felt guilty about not spending too much time with Ray, Bob, and Mikes. Today I wasn't going to let htme leave the room. If Gerard had something to tell me then the rest of the guys could hear it too, they needed to know by now. My ears caught the smallest sound of footsteps outside the door and in a rush of happiness Ray came running into the room,
"Frankie!" He squealed happily.
Bob followed in, smiling at me. Not soon after came Mikey and after Mikey came.... came... What? Where's Gerard?
"Where's Gee?" Dammit. THe first real time I had spent with these guys in days and I could only talk about Gerard!
They all stared at me, dumbstruck.
"Uhmm, well, you see, Gee couldn't come today." Mikey said, smiling stupidly.
"He wanted us to have time with you too!" Bob covered for him.
Although I could tell they were lying I had to act like I believed them. My heart lurched at their words though. No... he wasn't coming at all today. Not even just for a few amazing seconds. He wouldn't even stop by.
"Oh. Well okay then." I smiled back.
Apparently I had smiled good enough to make them believe I was really okay because then Bob smiled a big smile back. Finally, I got to talk to them!
"How have you been Frankie?" Mikey asked, smiling like a puppy.
"I've been pretty good actually, except for the broken ribs and stuff." I tried to chuckle a litte bit, but I only ended up caughing.
And in result from caughing I ended up in extreme pain. Damn these fucking ribs!
"Oh God sorry Frank!" Mikey put his hands on the back of his head.
Where have I seen this before? Oh yeah, that's right, it's the same reaction Gerard gave me. What's up with the Way brothers?
"No Mikes, it's okay, I'm fine now." I told him, clenching one eye and gritting my teeth in between sentances.
He chuckles a little bit. At least he didn't take it as hard as Gerard did. It fills me with joy to know that they are all just happy to know I'm alive. Why couldn't Gerard just be happy? Why do I keep thinking about fucking Gerard?! I need to get him out of my mind.
----Later----
Today was amazingly good actually. I got to spend time just with Mikey, Ray, and Bob. I was actually kind of glad that Gee didn't come. Awh, who am I kidding. I missed him so damn badly. Where are you Gerard? Are you okay? Are you still hurt? Please come back Gee. Please come back. After the guys left the nurse checked on me, making sure I was okay and giving me my medications. I was on my way to recovery. But slowly. How will I make t through this Gerard doesn't come and see me? I think I would go completely insane without him. My eyes blurr as I stare up at the intense whiteness of the hospital. Please don't be mad at me Gee. A soft, quiet tear runs down my cheek as I float off into my dream land again.
----The Bus----
MIKEY'S POV:
The car ride home was long and quiet without Gerard, well, he never really talked that much anyways, but there was something missing. Maybe it was because ever since we were little we had never really stopped spending time together. Gerard worked for a while and so did I, then the next thing I know I'm in his band and we are spending a lot of time together again. Not that I had a problem with that, but I guess I just got so used to him always being there. Sometimes it was nice to have a break though. I guess it was just the fact that Frankie was in the hospital that made me need Gerard right now. It was uncomfrtable.
Upon entering the bus we realized the TV was on, we didn't think much of it though, Gee must have forgotten to turn it off. Ray and Bob went off in their seperate ways as I walked towards the bunkroom to find Gerard. Before I had reached the hall I saw him in the kitchen. What was he doing? Oh my God. Oh my God what are you doing Gerard?! What the hell! He must be really sick! Maybe he has the stomach flu?! Who am I kidding, Gee's messed up again and he wont even talk to me about it.
"Gerard? Gerard what are you doing?!" I yelled at him.
I watched as he slipped to the floor, crying. I could only stand there, staring at the pitiful man that was on the floor. This was just a little too much to deal with right now. Everything's happening too quickly for me. First they were lumps, then Gerard was a beat-up lump and Frankie was a grumpy-lump, then Frank ran away and got hit by a car and now he's a hospital-lump! And Gerard of course is just a crying-lump, on the floor, in the kitchen, sitting before me. I just stood and watched, my face rather dissapointed.
I crouch down by him and watch him cry for another few seconds. What happened to the Gerard that I was proud of? The Gerard that had overcome so many obstacles and still managed to be the amazing person he is today? I want that Gerard back. As I stood there, thinking about the old Gerard, I realized how much he had put us all through. His dumb choices put us all under a lot pf pressure. And Frank thought he was the one that should have left. Now I was just kind of angry I am at him. But no matter how mad I was at my brother, I could never just leave him.
I leant forward and grabbed him, holding him in my arms. I didn't say anything to him. He just cried into my shirt, shaking and quivering and sniffling. It was moments like these when I hoped that Gerard would see how much I loved him. Come and Gee, let's be above this. Eventually I got him up and into the bunkroom. Since my bunk was on the bottom and I doubt Gerard could climb up to his own bed, I let him sleep in mine. He fell asleep, soflty crying. I closed the curtains so he could have privacy... or maybe it was so I didn't have to see him like this.
----The Next Day----
Today we wouldn't be going to visit Frankie. We all felt pretty bad, but today we had to get into our hotel. We all slept until around 12:00, when we finally got up and started eating, watching TV, packing up our things, stuff like that. It was really slow this morning. Something so distant. It felt like we were all floating in space, no words spoken to eachother. After a while we had finally packed all of our things into our suitcases, getting ready to head out the door. It was now around 3:00. Gerard hadn't asked about going to visit Frankie today, but it was best that way, it was a sensitive subject between all of us.
The bus driver left after we caught the cab. We hadn't taken the bus to the hotel to avoid people seeing us and getting us off task. Usually the fans made everything better, but we just wanted to get done with it. Still, everything moved so slowly and quietly. Gerard hadn't eaten anything today, and he was looking a bit paler than usual, I was beggining to worry about him dearly. After Frank and him... kissed I guess... he hadn't been the same. I was really missing my brother by now. To think it had only been about a week wince we played our last show. A week since everything was perfectly fucking fine.
The hotel room was actually pretty roomy compared to our bus. There were four beds and a couch, enough beds for us and maybe Frank if we stay for long enough after he gets out. The walls were tan and the bed sheets were yellow, the pillows were white and the couch was red. How casual. It didn't really bug me though, it beat the shitty bunks in the bus. I'm glad to be out of that thing, there were a lot of bad memories in it. But there were good memories too I guess, it wasn't all bad. Gerard immediatly plopped down on the couch a flipped on the TV. Eventually we all ended up watching reruns of Scrubs. I actually liked that show, it was kind of funny. Better than thinking about out current situation I suppose.
We all fell asleep on the couch or on the floor with a pillow. It was nice to be able to spread out like this.
------------------The Next Day---------------------
GERARD'S POV:
I woke up this morning not wanting to move at all. I was becoming increasingly weak from not eating. Despite my lack of energy I still didn't want to eat. I was so fat and disgusting. I want to be skinny and sexy when Frank gets out of the hospital, maybe it would be a nice surprise. I would have to try extra hard to be hot enough for Frankie, he's just so damn attractive. Sometimes I wondered how someone as perfect as him could ever like someone like me, if he still did that is. After laying on the couch thinking about this it only made me feel worse about yelling at him the other day. Why couldn't I just rewind time and make sure none of this ever happened?
I noticed that everyone else was already up and moving. I hoped we would go see Frank today, I really needed to see his face and take in his smell. Mikey walked over as he had noticed my open eyes,
"Feel up to going to the hospital today, Gee?" He asked as if he had forgotten yesterday completely.
"Yeah..." I replied with a sleepy smile.
Mikey smiled big at me and walked off to make some breakfast, most likely toaster strudel or something of that sort. After some rucus, then silence, I smelled the burning food in the toaster and immediatly hopped up. I couldn't help but laugh a bit to myself. Mikey had fallen asleep standing up, his head lolled over to the side and his hip resting in the corner of the kitchen.
"Mikey!" I barked at him playfully.
He woke up with a jolt and grabbed a fork.
"Don't even think about sticking that in the damn toaster Mikes." I told him, crossing my arms.
He looked over at me, his eyes like little rabbit squirrel eyes. It made me smile even wider. I really did love my fucking little brother. He was the best little brother ever.
As I had predicted he made some cheap toaster food. He threw me a poptart like a ninja star. It came flying at my and hit me in the chest. I fumbled with the poptart for a few seconds before it dropped to the ground. Mikey sure did know how to cheer me up. We both started laughing at the fallen poptart. I don't remember the last time I felt this happy besides seeing Frank, but even then I felt incredibly guilty. There's always something to live for I suppose. Now I was feeling better about today.
Mikey threw me another poptart, I caught it this time. Usually(despite the horrible burnt-ness) I would have eaten the poptart, but I just stared at it for a moment. He watched me from the kitchen, waiting for me to take a bite. I acted as happy as I could as I took a bite, walking away as I chewed it as if I had something to do. Upon reaching the bathroom I spit the mouth of chewed up poptart into the trashcan. That's disgusting to even think about swallowing something with so much fat. I kind of felt bad about throwing away something Mikey had made, even if all he did was pop it in the toaster.
Before I knew it we were all dressed and ready to go. I was actually rather happy about seeing Frank today. I was going to fix everything today. I was going to tell him all that's been going on and everything I wanted to tell him, ever. Ray, Bob, and Mikey were all happy to see me so enthusiastic today, I was pretty surprised at myself too though. I hoped Frank would be as happy as I was.
----At The Hospital----
My stomach had been doing flips all the way to the hospital, up the elevator, and into the hallway. We finally reached his door and my heart raced faster and faster until I thought it might explode. I was the first one in the door when the nurse opened it. Frankie looked at me, I couldn't tell his expression until after a few seconds he smiled at me.
"Gee?" He asked.
It was almost like he was asking if this was the real me. It made me happy to know that he wasn't still scared.
"Yeah Frankie. It's me." I told him as I walked closer.
I bent down like a little action figure and pecked him on the lips. Wow. Things were repaired so quickly after it all went to hell. Five simple words and Frank and I were back to being our happy selves. Just our happy-to-see-you selves. Our lucky-to-know-you selves. As soon as I had thought that we were all happy again, I remembered I had to tell him what's been going on, and why I didn't visit the other day. I simply looked back at the guys, Mikey just smiled and grabbed Ray's sleeve. Bob threw his hands in the air,
"Fine! Fine! We're leaving!" I laughed at him and Frankie just smiled.
I sat on the edge of Frank's bed, facing him. His soft eyes and his weak smile made me want to smother him right then and there. His hand slowly slipped into mine and he held hands. Everything was silent for a second, but then I realized that Frank's expression had changed suddenly.
"Gerard, are you okay? You don't look too good."
I acted on impulse.
"U-uh yeah, yeah. I'm just fine Frankie." I tried to smile back, but he saw through it.
"I'm done being lied to Gee. I want the truth. Are. You. Oh. Kay?" He sounded it out for me.
I just couldn't lie to his sweet little face anymore. It took me a moment but after a second I finally pushed it out.
"I haven't been eating a lot lately. I just can't get the food down my throat." My voice was shaky.
Frank's thumb ran across mine, comforting me.
"How much have you not been eating exactly?" He asked, major concern in his eyes.
"Well..." I really didn't want to tell him.
"...I haven't eaten since you got in the hospital." I looked away from him.
His hand squeezed tighter on mine.
"Wh-why Gee?" He asked me sadly.
Wasn't he happy that I has going to be skinnier?
"Because I'm fucking fat and you're too good for me!" I scrunched up my eyebrows a little bit, but didn't take my hand away.
"You are not fat Gerard. If you were any skinnier you might wilt away!" He lied to me.
How was I supposed to believe that? Right as I was about to say something, Frank started another sentance.
"Do you love me?" He asked.
What a dumb question,
"Of course I love you! I love you more than life itself!"
"If you loved me you would eat." He told me, his voice stern and serious.
I broke my hand from his and covered my face with my palms. Dammit Frank. Why can't you understand?
"That day..." He began to say.
"When you came in and looked... really sick. What was going on?"
"Nothing. I just didn't feel good."
"That's a lie. Stop lying to me!"
"Okay, fine! I ran to the bathroom and threw up!"
"Oh so now you're bulemic?!"
Why didn't he understand?! I fell backwards so I was laying on the edge of the bed, next to Frankie. I looked into his eyes.
"I'm so sorry Frank." I told him softly. I reached forward and brushed his hair from his face. A tear slid down my face and onto the soft, white hospital bed.
"I love you Gerard. Please don't forget that." Frankie told me. I slowly grew closer to him, making sure I was completely careful of his broken ribs. I didn't want to hurt him ever, ever, ever again. Our lips locked gently, a new beggining, letting him know that I was going to stay by his side, all the way.
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Long, important chapter! >=D Did that one surprise you? Probably not... whether or not it did, I want to let you know that next chapter will be a time lapse! =O Only a few more chapters guysssss! But the last chapters are bound to be fucking amazing. BE HAPPY! BE HAPPY I TELL YOU! NOW GODDAMIT REVIEW THE CHAPTER! Ahehhe. ;^__^ Love youuuuuu.
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