FicWad

I sat in the back of my journalism class, not focused what so ever. I haven’t been able to
think for the past three days. Frank filled my head. My mind didn’t wander else where. I massaged my temples and looked up to the front of the room.
“Papers are due Monday.” My professor instructed. I sighed and put my head down.
My paper was no where near completion and by the way things have been going, I didn’t think it was going to be easy.
Frank has showed up at my doorstep every night for the past three days, intoxicated and begging for my forgiveness. Each night I pushed him away, each night he protested, each night I went to bed crying.
Frank is my life, other then Mikey, and I can’t live without him. Mikey keeps telling me I’ll make it through and hopefully Frank will too. I want to believe that Frank will make it through, but after all this I’m having doubts.
The class ended and I got up. I started heading for the door but my professor stopped me.
“Are you feeling ok?” He asked. I nodded and tried to hurry on my way. “Peyton, hold on a minute.” I turned back around.
“The last few days, you haven’t seemed interested in class. I’m afraid that this behavior might reflect on your paper.” He continued.
“I have a lot going on.” I replied quietly.
“Well I hope you can get it together, I’m ready to read your paper.” He said. “They’re always the best ones in class.” He smiled.
“I’ll try.” I said and left. I started walking fast down the hallway. I got to the heavy wooden doors and pushed hard against them. They opened and I hurried on my way.
“Peyton!” Someone yelled behind me. I picked up my speed. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. “Are you kidding me?!” They yelled. I finally stopped and turned around. Mikey stood behind me with his hands in the air. He had an impatient expression on his face.
“What are you doing here?” I asked walking towards him.
“Frank.” He said simply. I shook my head.
“Not now Mikey.” I hooked my arm in his and guided him back in the direction I was heading. I felt safe with Mikey like nothing could break me. I wished I could stay with Mikey forever and never have to worry about boyfriends. All I wanted was my best friend.
“Peyton,” He started. I shook my head. “He’s getting worse.”
“Not now.” I repeated.
Mikey stopped talking and we kept walking. I had no idea where we were going and I honestly didn’t care. I needed to get away. Mikey didn’t ask where we were going. I think he knew just to let me go. We neared Delaware Park and I thought about going there and just sitting. I glanced over at Mikey; he was frantically texting with his free hand. He seemed to be lost in thought so I kept guiding him. I decided Delaware Park was my destination. I found an empty bench and sat down; Mikey stood looking down at me. He looked concerned. “What?” I asked. I shielded my eyes from the sun with my hand.
“You’re a mess sweetheart.” Mikey replied.
“I’m scared.” I replied.

I knocked hard on the cheap wood door. No one called out ‘I’ll be there in a second.’ No one was even heard on the other side. I knocked again, the chips of wood dug into my knuckles, scraping them a little. I shifted from foot to foot impatiently.
I remembered the spare key that was taped to the top of the door frame. I looked up and there it was. I stood on my tiptoes and grabbed it. I put the key in the lock and turned cautiously. The lock clicked and I slowly opened the door. An instant wave of sweat, mold and alcohol filled my nostrils. I coughed from the vile smell. My stomach turned and I felt light headed.
“Who’s there?” Frank called out from the bathroom. I stepped around empty bottles, clothes and empty and full pizza boxes.
“Just me.” I said when I reached the bathroom. Frank sat on the bathroom floor with his head in his hands.
He looked startled when he saw me. Physically, he looked horrible. His clothes looked dirty and worn out. He was unshaven and had bags under his eyes.
“Why are you sitting in the bathroom?” I asked. Frank just shook his head.
“Frank,” I gasped reaching out to him. My hand met his unshaven jaw. I couldn’t do this. I wanted to walk back out the door and walk back in hoping to see my Frank. The Frank that was so alive and happy just weeks ago. I wanted my Frank. Not this person who stood in front of me,this monster, definitely not him. This was worse then before. Frank’s eyes filled with tears.
“I can’t do this.” He said softly. I nodded and backed away from him. “You can’t leave me again Peyton.” He stepped closer to me.
I backed away and headed back for the door. I thought he’d be better by now. I thought things were going to be normal again. I thought wrong. I still wasn’t emotionally stable to see him either. This is too much. I walked back into the pigsty living room and tripped on an empty bottle. I caught myself before I hit the floor. I kept walking toward the door, trying not to trip again.
“How do you live like this?” I asked over my shoulder. Frank didn’t answer me.
I got to the door and walked out. This was never ending scene and it was becoming more and more predictable each time.
Why did I even bother anymore? I always left him standing there, helpless and alone. I always left angry and hurt hoping the next visit would be better then the last. I never left satisfied.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I stopped and pulled it out. It was Mikey. I pressed ignore and kept walking. Mikey would be mad and right now, I really didn’t care.