FicWad

Something weird about me - no matter how much I eat, even if I eat all day long and don’t stop, I never get fat. Seriously! I stay skinny as a rail. It’d be nice to put on some weight, I’m thinking, but no - I’m about as heavy as a sack of chocobo feathers. Always have been. Probably always will be.

That doesn’t stop me from trying, though.

I’ve always been a big fan of food. If you can cook it, I’ll eat it. I don’t care if it’s a little raw or a little burnt or whatever. If it’s edible, then I don’t mind. I’m anything but picky.

My favorite food is probably carrots. Not ’cause I like the taste - to be honest, I don’t really prefer one thing over the other. No, I like carrots ’cause they always gave me a one-up on everybody else. See, Grandma always told me carrots give you real good eyesight, and I admit it sounded like a load of crap at first, but I did some pokin’ around and turns out Jamie’s sister doesn’t eat ’em and his little brothers do and she’s blind as a bat and they aren’t, so that settles that.

Jamie, by the way, hates carrots.

And he has bad eyesight too. Hah!

So I ate ’em with everything just ’cause I wanted bragging rights.

Still - everybody has a weakness. Mine is pale, rubbery, and smells worse than anything ever.

I hate mushrooms.

They’re disgusting.

Grandma tried to fuck with me and trick me into eating them - she’d make something with carrots and mushrooms in it, but I wouldn’t touch ’em - I wouldn’t even touch the carrots that were touching ’em. She tried to tell me they made my hearing better, but I asked around and as far as I could tell it was bull. No, I wouldn’t stomach them. Never. They’re sick.

Well, I have eaten them once...

I threw up a few minutes later.

I think I’m allergic.

Still...I’ll try anything once.

But mushrooms - not ever again.

I hate mushrooms.