FicWad

Summoned by Irmo, her husband, the Vala Estë hurried down the long white marble corridor leading to Melian's private chamber. Concerned for her stricken friend, Estë swept into the spacious bedroom, and knelt down at the side of her bed. "How is she?" she asked her husband who had been in attendance through the night.
"Much worse today", Irmo replied. "She has not been able to stop weeping long enough to talk to me. When I look within her, I see only dark memories. Her thoughts swirl in every direction and they are not clear".
"Then tell me what her memories are", said Estë, "so that I may know how to help her".
Irmo then explained how Elu Thingol had come to his end at the hands of the Dwarves he had befriended. As he saw it unfold, he relayed the tale of Melian's journey into the area surrounding the lake of Tarn Aeluin, mad with grief at her husband's slaying, and having lost temporarily her Maian powers of enchantment. To Estë he also told of Melian's meeting with Celegorm, and of how the son of Fëanor had nursed her back to health in the cave in the midst of battle. Irmo did not discover that Melian had had sexual relations with Celegorm in a moment of passion, since she was able to keep this fact hidden from him, even though he was one of the Fëanturi, by the use of her power of creating disillusionment and shadows. Even while she was unconscious this power of hers was evident. He explained that when Melian had become healthy again her powers as a Maia returned, and she was able to fly to Valinor and had come back to their home on the Isle of Estë. When she appeared on this secluded Isle in Lake Lorellin Melian had immediately sought out Estë, first coming to the grand house where she appeared in the doorway as white as a spectre, frightening the handmaidens who were busy in the hallway cleaning the walls and bric-a-brac. One of them dropped a piece of porcelain, startled by Melian's abrupt appearance, and the delicate figurine shattered upon the marble floor, breaking the silence.
"Where is your mistress?" Melian had asked in a small weary voice, and when Estë had been summoned to her side, she collapsed into the arms of the Vala. Immediately Melian was taken to her room at Estë's orders, and the handmaidens waited on her there by the side of her huge canopy bed. It dwarfed the small Maia with its great size, and its floating curtains gathered above the bed hung down and surrounded her with their ghostly folds, flaring slightly in the breeze that blew in the window and through the spacious room.
Estë placed a gentle hand upon Melian's brow and furrows appeared in her smooth forehead. "She has fever", she exclaimed. "But she has brought it upon herself. I am surprised at that. She is showing some measure of weakness that I did not before realize".
She carefully examined Melian then, listening to her breathing, and using her gentle, soothing touches to explore her skin and her internal organs. The pale blue healing light from her eyes cast a beam over Melian's prone form and she looked beneath the surface of her skin.
"She is with child!" Estë exclaimed. "And she is grieving deeply. The grief is too deep for me to touch. It may be a long while before she will be able to speak with us".
"Estë, my love", said Irmo, "let us leave her in the care of the Elves until she has spent her grief. It will pass, though it may take some time. We may only worsen matters for her if we remain with her and probe too much. Come". And he led Estë out of the room.
Estë paused in the doorway, and gazed back at Melian lying on the bed. The Maia was very white of skin, which was accentuated by her jet-black hair spread out on the white silk pillow beneath it. Her lips were as pale as the skin of her face. Her breathing was shallow; the space of time between each breath was long.
Two of Estë's handmaidens attended Melian. The windows in the room had been opened wide, and the gauzy white curtains billowed inwards with the breeze that entered through them. The soft grey of the stone walls and floor gleamed as the light of the day picked up the sparkle of the flecks of precious gems within the stone. Spread upon the floor was a soft white carpet embroidered in silver. Colourful tapestries lined the walls, depicting Melian's favourite scenes of forests and the Trees of the Valar. Their vivid scenic portrayals and the golden and silvery threads that wove them incorporated not only colours and light, but also heady scents of trees and forests were in the magical weave, and thus their sight and aroma were combined into one sensation. In a bowl on a stand by the bed was a fragrant mist, its fumes now blowing toward the sleeping Maia. Estë had placed a mixture of herbs in it and the scent of lavender, thyme and sweet woodruff filled the room. It was a fairly humid day and the air felt somewhat heavy although the breeze was refreshing. Estë closed the door, and the long vigil over Melian began.
Irmo was waiting for Estë in their bedchamber when she returned and she came slowly through the door and to his side. She knelt on the floor, laid her head upon his lap and cried tears, letting down her guard now that she was with her husband and away from the others of her household. Gently he stroked her pale ash brown hair with his smooth, sensitive hands.
"My love", he said to her sadly, "I cannot promise you that she will fully recover, or even recover at all, because I will not lie to you. I cannot lie to you".
Estë raised her fair head to look into his deep dark eyes. "I know, dear Irmo", she wept. However, I cannot bear the sadness of her experience. She has come through intolerable mistreatment by Vána, and I resolve that I will not let that lie. Afterward, her falling in love with the Elf Lord Elwë seemed at first to be a blessing, but has turned out to be another of the tragedies that mar her life. When she first came to me, Irmo, she was hurt by Vána's maltreatment of her and was fragile. I liked her very much right away, as you know, and as she helped us plant our gardens and brought the nightingales to sing here and made this one of the most splendid places upon all Valinor, we became the best of friends. I love her, Irmo. She is my dearest friend and I cannot bear to see her in this sad state. How can we be helpless to heal her? We are Valar: we must be able to give her what she needs".
He pressed his soft lips upon her furrowed brow. "I know not why we cannot seem to help, but I promise you that I will try", he murmured as he held her close to him.
Eventually Melian awoke, and called for Estë, and the Vala was summoned to her side. She put aside her sorrow and gathered her healing powers together. "Melian, my love, we have been worried about you", Estë told her and tried to be strong, and smiled.
"Elwë is dead", said Melian in a forlorn voice. "I shall never see him again".
"Hush, my dear", Estë whispered. "You do not know that. As chance may have it, you may yet be reunited with him". Believing that Melian was carrying Elwë's child, Estë attempted to give her friend some hope.
"No", Melian shook her head. "That cannot be. I have done wrong, Estë". Her gaze lowered, as she could no longer look into the healing blue light shining from Estë's eyes.
"What can you have done wrong in your grief, Melian?" Asked Estë. "Do not add to your pain with unnecessary guilt".
"But I am guilty", Melian said. "I have made love to another while my husband's body lay cold upon the floor of our home. I abandoned him and fled into the wilds. I made love to a stranger in the woods. I am not worthy of my race, and I wish that I could leave this life and let my spirit fly to the Halls of Mandos where I would be able to forget my injuries, sorrows and my foolish deeds. Having felt the loss of my powers one time in the past, I fear they may be lost to me again, as I feel still the fear of loss of my daughter that happened once, and loss of my husband, which is to be forever. Too many fears. Too many losses. More of them I would not be able to bear".
Estë faltered at this pronouncement. She had assumed that the child Melian was carrying was Elwë's, yet the news that Melian had had relations with another right after Elwë's death, meant that the baby could have been fathered by this stranger.
"Please tell me everything, Melian", said Estë, and Melian did then tell her of her rescue in the forest by Celegorm, and of their sudden and passionate union.
Estë breathed deeply and considered. This was a breakthrough that Melian could now talk about what had happened. She decided to tell Melian the truth of her condition. "I am afraid that you are currently with child", she said. "I discovered this while you were still asleep, but assumed that the child was your husband's. Now that I have heard of your meeting with Maedhros, I know that this child may not be Elwë's, but may be the child of the son of Fëanor".
Melian stared at Estë with a look of disbelief on her pale face.
"I am not expecting a child. You are mistaken, Estë".
"Melian". Estë spoke in a voice both soothing and reassuring though her hope for Melian's emotional recovery was now dashed. "It is not shameful to have abandoned your reason in the throes of grief. It is quite natural to seek the temporary solace of another during such a time. The body seeks closeness once more when a loved one so suddenly has been taken away. Do not deny this gift of a child, no matter who is the father. It is still yours, as well".
"Why do you keep saying I am with child?" Melian snapped at her, "When I am not!"
"Hush, hush, Melian, my dear". Estë tried to soothe her friend, speaking calmly. "I will say no more on the matter at this time. Are you feeling strong enough to take some food? Please try. It will help you to gain back your strength".
"Will you just leave me alone?" Asked Melian. She shrunk down into her pillows and drew the white silk coverlet up to her face, which had turned a pale shade of grey in her misery. Estë worried for her. The Vala's smooth forehead became lined as her hands fluttered about Melian, tucking in the sheets, smoothing her hair and stroking her forehead as she bent over the sad little creature sunk into the deep enveloping softness of her bed.
Over the next few months, while she spent most of her time walking outside in the gardens of Lorien among the trees full of her favourite nightingales, and the white flowers of niphredil, lilies and jasmine flooding the gardens with their heady scents, Melian grew stronger in body, but the swelling in her belly grew very slowly and very little. Estë was concerned: first, for Melian as she still denied the impending child's existence, and second, because the baby was due very soon, and Estë was worried for its welfare. If Melian rejected it, Estë would be forced to find the baby a home with strangers.
Soon, Melian entered the throes of labour. Estë decided that she would make a final attempt to talk to her about the baby. She entered Melian's bedchamber, where the Maia was sitting up in bed. Melian's face was a picture of fear mixed with pain.
"Please explain to me why these silly Elves keep trying to bathe me". Melian turned a peevish face toward Estë. "I want them to go away and leave me. I am not soiled. I have had a bit of stomach ache and a little accident. Everything is fine now".
One of the handmaidens spoke to Estë. "She is between contractions, My Lady, and her water has broken".
"Melian, please listen to me", said Estë, sitting down beside her. She spoke sternly. "You are in labour. Your child is about to be born. You must accept this fact, and help us to deliver this child, or the birth shall be very hard. Neither of you shall die, but you may wish it before the birth is over".
Rather than outwardly denying it, as she had done steadfastly throughout her entire pregnancy, Melian turned a sombre face toward Estë.
"As you know, I have a daughter", the Maia said. Estë nodded, but she remained silent and let Melian continue.
"Luthien was a happy child, and Elwë and I both loved her dearly. But later, neither of us was pleased when she first came to us with the news that she had fallen in love with a mortal. I became more accepting of her love for Beren, as I, myself, had fallen in love with one who was lower-born than me. If that had been the only problem, we would have recovered from our initial disappointment, and our lives would have continued along a peaceful path".
"But you know what happened. Tragic events occurred for my daughter, and for us, her parents. She suffered through the death of the man she loved. It was a loss by which she was devastated. It is true that the Valar granted that she and Beren could be together in the end, but the damage to her mind and spirit had already been done. A mother does not wish for this to happen to her child. With all her heart and soul, she does not wish it. She will do anything that it should not happen again. Do you understand me, Estë?"
"But, Melian", the Vala replied in desperation. "You are here now, with us and you are in our care. Nothing ill will befall you and your new baby. I will ensure that it will not".
"I have no child. I am not expecting a child. Leave me be!" Melian cried. Then, another contraction shook her tiny frame. It was a hard one. Melian screamed in agony.
"How many has that been now?" Estë asked the Elf-maidens.
"Four", replied one of them.
"Only four?" Estë was surprised. "I am afraid it is going to get much worse", she said.
OOOOOOOOoooOOOOOOOO
"Ai! Wirilome! Nefantur! To Vilna with it! Ava-kuma! Vai! Take it to Tol-na-Gaurhoth!
The walls in that section of Estë's house in which dwelt Melian resonated with the curses that the Maia hurled toward any and all that approached her during the latter part of her labour.
Irmo had taken his leave some time before, grateful to Estë for sending him away, and Estë, bent forward over Melian's feet as the two Elf handmaidens held her head upright, put her hand between the Maia's legs and probed the birth canal.
Melian promptly heaved forth all that she had eaten that day, but it was not much more than froth.
"Ai-eee-ai-eee-ai-eeeehhhh!!!!" She screamed, when she could catch her breath.
"I can see the crown", Estë pronounced, her head hidden from sight between Melian's knees.
"Get it out -- get it out -- get it out!!" Melian shrieked.
"You are doing very well, my love", said Estë, who remained as calm as Melian was frantic. "But now you must push".
"YOU push! You-self-righteous, DAMNED Vala!" Melian shouted.
"It will feel better soon, I assure you", replied Estë, willing herself to remain calm.
"What would YOU know?" Melian shot back at her. "You do not have Angainor wrapped around your hips, and squeezing you as if in a vice!"
"Is that what it feels like?" Asked one of the Elf-maidens nervously, as she placed a cloth soaked in cool water upon Melian's brow.
"Sometimes it feels like that, and sometimes it feels as if a Demon inside of me is trying to push apart all of the bones of my body".
Then she moaned loudly as a new contraction swept through her like an undulating wave in a stormy sea.
"Give one more good push!" Cried Estë, grasping the tiny infant by the head, her hands cupping it under the chin.
Suddenly, the baby slipped loosely from its mother, in a rush of blood and fluid that splashed heavily onto the floor.
Melian collapsed back on the bed, and started to weep with relief at the sudden cessation of pain.
"It is a girl", pronounced Estë, holding up the tiny bundle. "Do you wish to see her, Melian?"
"No, I do not", said Melian, and turned her head away. "Take her and give her to someone who wants her. I am no fit mother for any child".
With sadness for both mother and infant welling in her eyes, Estë wrapped the tiny baby in swaddling clothes, and carried her out of the room.
After conferring with Irmo, she decided to take the child away immediately to Middle-earth before she herself could form an attachment to it. She was heavy of heart as she looked upon the little girl, whose hair was as black as her mother's, and whose face was already as fair as her sister's.
"I will name you 'Heneryn', child of the forest", she said. It was Estë's plan to take Melian's baby to Middle-earth, where she would consult with Galadriel of Doriath. There was not much that Galadriel of the Noldor did not know about the Dark Elves who dwelt in the areas surrounding the Sindarin realm.
No matter what Estë's feelings were toward the child, she remained steadfast in her loyalty to Melian and her friend's state of health. She would never let the secret be known of who the infant's mother was to anyone save the people she could trust. She would do this thing for her friend.
It came to be, then, that Heneryn was given into the care of the Avari, the Dark Elves of the Northeastern lands of Middle-earth. "These people were known as 'eerie and strange beings, knowing little of light or loveliness or of music", as Estë had read in the earliest writings of the loremasters of Middle-earth. Estë felt that Heneryn would be hidden safely with the Avari, and that nothing would come to be known of her in the rest of the world.

A/N: The line "the eerie and strange beings---", concerning the Avari, was taken from HoME: The Shaping of Middle-earth; Ch. II: "The Earliest Silmarillion", p. 51.
MELIAN'S CURSE WORDS:
Wirilome: Gloomweaver, Ungoliant.

Nefantur: Mandos.

Vilna: The innermost of the three airs.

Ava-kuma: The Outer Dark, the Void.

Vai: The Outer Sea.

Tol-na-Gaurhoth: Isle of the Werewolves.

Angainor: The great chain in which Morgoth was bound.