Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Cubicles

Used And Ill

by chicago_fire 7 reviews

Confessions hurt like a bitch...

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Published: 2008-05-02 - Updated: 2008-05-02 - 524 words

Wow, that felt good. Frank looked at me smiling. In a way, I wanted more but I didn't want to ruin a good thing. I laughed almost silently when I realized what I had just done. I was... happy. Frank made me happy.
"I'm sorry." Frank's face decreased to a dim glow.
"What for? I did this too." I stroked his cheek.
"I still feel guilty."
"Me too kinda, I'm new to this."
"I have a confession Gerard."
"I've seen you at school all the time. Before I met Mikey. I've had a crush on you all this year." He let his eyes wander from me. I about choked on air. Frank. Had a... crush on me?! This whole time?! I felt a surge of anger and sat up. So he was trying to use Mikey to get to me?! What the fucking fuck?!
"So you used Mikey to get to me?!"
"No! I promise I didn't! I-I didn't even know you were brothers until I saw you at the door! I haven't even known your name this whole fucking time!" He looked as if he was going to cry.
I felt sick to my stomach. Used and ill. I wanted to believe him so badly but common sense held me back. Note to self... never ever act on impulse again you stupid fuck. I got up from the mattress. I needed to be alone. I needed to numb myself with solitary sleep.
"Where are you going?"
"To get you blankets."
Leaving him there, I was still overwhelmed with frustration, I didn't know what to do. I felt like my trust had been torn. The feeling of slowly dying inside surfaced itself. Strangling with a firm grip of blinding anger. I trudged up the stairs with heavy feet. I made my way to the closet, threw the blankets on the couch. I went back downstairs to tell him he was sleeping on the couch. I found him curled up in a ball, crying. I didn't care. Call me heartless, but would you blame me?
"Blankets are upstairs. Get the fuck out."
"FUCK YOU!" he kicked my door sobbing and ran out. I was blinded with anger and a nonchalant attitude towards Frank. Twistedly, I found myself laughing at the pain. I looked under my bed for the bottle of vodka I had stolen a month ago, barely opened. Successful, I sank into my mattress and reached for my medications on my nightstand. In the drawer, was a razor. Which also I retrieved. I was going all out tonight. Party time, right? I cackled. I downed about half the bottle of vodka with a cluster of pills. Once they set in, the blade looked ever so appealing. The stinging pain on my wrist felt like acceptance screaming into my ears. I bit my nails to a bloody end.
"How lovely it is to be me. Fucked up. Shipped out to sea. Yoho, yoho.A pirate's life for me." I giggled and sang while hiccups took over. After a few more swigs, and bloodstained sheets, I collapsed into numbness on the floor.
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