Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Cubicles

I Didn't Know Which Was Worse

by chicago_fire 2 reviews

The next day... here we go.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Published: 2008-05-12 - Updated: 2008-05-12 - 2054 words

I woke up in a stupored haze a I heard the annoying buzz of my alarm. I had managed to pick myself up off the floor in the middle of the night. Laying in my bed, I let my head emerge from the blankets and smash the clock. In one blow, it fell to the floor, shutting itself up. I didn't want to face the day. I might run into Frank at school. I didn't want that. From what I could remember, I think we got in a fight last night. A big one. My head throbbed trying to recollect the events from the previous night. I couldn't really recall anything. I had a bad feeling I had said some stupid things and hurt someone. Looking at my alarm clock which was laying upside down now. My eyes tried their hardest to focus but dizziness overpowered me. I felt nauseus. There was a knock at my door. Mikey's head poked in.
"Gee, get up. Time for school."
"I'm up, I'm up."
"You okay? You don't sound so good."
"Just a headache." I was lying of course. I didn't want to know how pathetic I was. It would let him down. A flash of memory hit me. The person I hurt was Frank. I kicked him out of my room after we... Mikey's words interrupted my thoughts.
"You need an aspirin?"
"Nah, I'm okay. I'll get it if I need it."
"Okay, we leave in ten minutes." I nodded and he made his way out of my room. Oh my god. I hurt Frank. Another memory flash. I had gotten so angry and I went to get blankets and told him to get the fuck out. When I came back from upstairs, he was in a ball crying. Because of me. I was a heartless bastard. I didn't even give him the time to explain. I was too busy being blinded my anger. I felt even sicker to my stomach. I then realized I only had a few minutes to prepare for school. Was he upstairs? Did he go home? What happened? Oh god. Everything came back to me and I didn't know which was worse, my aching heart or my hangover. My arms stung like hell from the cuts I had drunkenly made. They were deep. Deeper than I've ever gone. I hate this. Why did I have to do this? I found little relief in the fact my uniform composed of long sleeves. I could hide them today. No one would have to know. I could secretly bare my shame. I overreacted, I came to terms with that. I wasn't ready for the curve ball Frank threw me, just like he wasn't ready for mine. I hoped he was okay, even if forgiveness was out of the question. I felt absolutely horrible as I got dressed. Walking up the stairs to join Mikey, I attempted to assemble apologies but everything came out wrong. We left our parents be and I grabbed pills for my headache and headed out the door. Walking a straight line was hard enough but baring the thought of seeing his beautiful brown eyes filled with regret and hurt made it difficult to breathe. Approaching our school gates, Mikey opened his mouth.
"Did something happen between you and Frankie?"
"Nothing why?" It stung to lie again, but I had to. Just for now.
"Cause he left a note saying his mom called and he went home in the middle of the night. It looked like it was stained with tears."
"I don't know Mikey, I'll try to talk to him. I was asleep."
"Swear you didn't do or say anything?"
"Swear." I sighed scanning the courtyard for him. Mikey took his usual standing spot with his other friends. I was never introduced unless they came to our house. Today of all days, it hurt not to know them, to laugh with them. Mikey always had everything. The girls, the laughter, the friends. I tried to distract myself from my bubbling jealousy. I scanned the crowd again. No sight of Frankie. God. I feel like shit. I retreated to the art room, my refuge and my teacher didn't seem to mind. I sketched a picture of Frankie under a tree in the rain. I missed him. I fucked up. I fucked up bad. I spent the day looking for him. No such luck. I couldn't eat, fall asleep in class. All I could do is write and sketch. All about him. My day got more hellish when I realized that today was my first day at The Jersey Jotdown. I lightened up a little when I also realized that Frank worked there too. Maybe I would have the chance to make it up to him.
Mikey had band practice and I reminded him at lunch, I'd be gone after school. I made my way to the office as soon as the bell rung. It wasn't four yet so I sat outside and drew more. Pages and pages of Frank. This time I drew a picture of myself and him. I was holding him. God. I hope he forgives me. A false hope I let myself indulge in, I knew. I wanted something to look forward to. I checked my watch. Four on the dot.
"Here we go." I said to myself walking through the door. The office remained the same as when I had had my interview. The nasal voiced secretary sent me to Mr. Banks right away. I remembered where it was, so I took myself there. The door was open. I poked my head in.
"Mr. Banks?"
"Hey kid. Right on time."
"Yes, sir." I smiled. I tried to appear happy, even though I was far from it.
"You look like you've had a rough day. Everything okay?"
"Just tired. Kinda bad day."
"Well have a seat, maybe work can distract you."
"So Gerard, tell me your latest ideas."
"Well I figured for the paper I'd start my first superhero comic."
"Sounds hooking."
"Sounds like it will get readers hooked. Its a common term around here."
"Oh, yeah I think so too."
"Tell me more."
"Well his name will be The Saiance. He fights with a ouija board and he contacts dead superheroes and is posessed by their powers when summoned."
"Creative. Do it."
"Yep. Your first dead line is 3 weeks."
"Thank you."
"No problem. Anyone shown you your desk yet?"
"No sir."
"Debbie send him in." he pressed and talked into the intercom. A second later there was a knock on the door.
"Mr. Banks? You called for me?"
"Yeah Iero. I need you to show newbie here, his desk. His name's Gerard Way. Way goes to your school. Know him?"
"Nope. Never met him." Frankie's words felt like a dagger.
"Oh, well. He's in the desk two away from yours." Great, now he can hate me from two desks away.
"Okay, I'll show him." I followed him out the door way and I realized he had some tiny cuts on his face. Frank's eye was slightly blackened. Oh my god. What happened to him?
"Don't talk to me. You obviously made it clear last night you didn't want to associate with me."
"I was angry. I overreacted."
" Yeah like that's a golden excuse."
"I'm sorry."
"Here's your desk."
"Frank, will you please just listen."
"No. You didn't listen to me."
"Can we just go somewhere and talk about this? If we have to work together, we might as well be friends." Frank huffed at my words.
"C'mon" he sighed. I set my things down and followed him once more. We walked down hallways to end up at what seemed to be an old copyroom. Frank took a set of keys and unlocked it, letting us in, shutting it behind us. He propped himself up against the wall.
"You wanted to talk. So talk."
"Why are there cuts on your face? And that black eye?"
"It's nothing."
"Clearly its not. What happened to you?"
"My mom was drunk last night. Just like you. I could smell the vodka on your breath a mile away. You're just like her." There it was, that look in his eye I had been dreading all day. It made my heart want to break.
"Frank, I never knew, I'm sorry."
"No one ever knows. It's never important. She gets drunk and hits me all the time. Last night she happened to throw a flower vase at me."
"Frank, I'm so sorry. I overreacted and I didn't know how to accept it all. It was all so new. I've never felt so strongly with a guy before. I've never liked a guy. I was scared and I lashed out. I know I was a heartless bastard to you and I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I know this might be out of the question but could you ever forgive me?" I wanted to cry so badly.
"Yes. I can. I do." He walked towards me and put his arms around me. It felt right to hold him. I dropped "I'm sorry"'s repeatedly. I was almost certain I had left his shirt stained with tears. I had never been so sorry in my entire life. We stood there in almost silence just relishing the moment we had. All of the sudden, Frank put his hands in my back pockets.
"Frank, what are you doing?"
"I want to kiss you."
"With your hands in my pockets?"
"I like it that way." he giggled and smiled at me. I was happy to be back into his good graces. I decided to be bold.
"So are you gonna kiss me or not?"
"I thought you said you were scared."
"I'm okay when I'm with you."
"Okay." Frank pressed his lips to mine gently but only once. Watching him toy with his lip ring drove me mad. I wanted more kisses. And boy, did I take them. I took to his mouth like a dehydrated lunatic to water. Frank pulled away from me but only for a moment, and he propped me up against the broken copy machine. He nibbled and sucked on the nape of my neck and I couldn't help but moan out loud. My pants were becoming unbearably tight.
"Be quiet, silly." Another giggle.
"Sorry." Next thing I knew, he was fumbling with my belt buckle.
"What are you doing, Frank."
"Something you'll like." He smirked.
"I don't know about this."
"Trust me?"
He lowered himself to his knees and continued to undo my belt and pants buttons. I was nervous and I thought I knew what was coming. I still didn't know about it, but I wanted to trust Frank. I owed it to him.
"Call me Frankie. I like it better. My mom calls me Frank. I don't like it."
"Thanks." He untucked my shirt and kissed my abs. He continued as he pulled my slacks down slightly to kiss my hip bones. The feeling he was giving me was electric. He pulled them down and I shook in embarassment at how much I was "standing at attention". I blushed beet red. Frank must have sensed it.
"Its okay. Don't be ashamed." After his words came a long lick tracing me up and down. I bit my lip to keep from moaning. It was seriously hard when he repeated the process and took me into his mouth. Before I knew it, he had me into a heated, sensual frenzy that I never wanted to leave. Within minutes I was seeing stars. Frank's mouth was hot and wet, and like nothing I had ever felt.
"Fuck. Unh. Frankie." I came like I never had. I was accustomed to sloppy hands and "naughty" pictures, that were never ever to be talked about. But this. This was so much better. Trying to recapture my breath, I thanked him. He rose to his feet and placed a kiss on my lips.
"Told you you would like it." Frankie giggled once more. I smiled. I put myself back together and gave him another kiss.
"We should get back."
"Yeah, I've got work to do. Besides you, that is." He flashed a sexy smile and walked out the door.
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