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Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Darkest Song

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• The Darkest Song

  (#) ChemicalGenocide 2008-05-13

  Well, I for one enjoyed it very much!!! Don't listen to authors who flame, 9 times out of ten they don't write themselves and are just having a cheap laugh over the internet! I think your ideas are really original, and Melody is so cute! Normally I don't really like OCs, but yours is adorable and has a real past, she's good to read! I think her and Harry make a lot of sense - they both have very similiar pasts and can relate to one another! Even though she's not suicidal, I can tell that cutting her arms isn't healthy, and maybe now that she has Harry to talk too, someone who can relate, she'll stop. And Harry hugging her, and not letting go was soooooooooo cute! Just don't let Hermione get her claws into him, I don't like her at all. She's so bossy and really rude!
  
  I can't wait to see what happens next! Are you going to kill off any characters? Harry and Melody are neighbors right, maybe a summer romance? And was Lucius (Luscious, lol) the one who killed her mum?
  
  Are you really only 13? Your writing style makes me think you might be a little bit older. Not calling you a liar, lol, just wondering!!!
  
  Anyway, hope this helps.

  Author's response

  Wow, two reviews?! You must love this. heheheh, lol. just joking!
  
  do you really like Melody? I was a bit unsure because people said she was a self-insert or a Mary-Sue or something. But she's not! I have black hair and green eyes and I look like Harry Potter (female version obv! LOL.
  
  And you misunderstoon! She's not cutting herself! It's the scars from the accident. Silly!! And I dunno about Hermione. I was going to make it so that she gets jealous of Melody and tries to attack her, but I think it's been done before :(
  
  Where do you stand with Luna?! I love her!
  
  Ummm about Luscious. He may or may not be! You'll have to read on! ;) not giving anything away, not even to you!
  
  I'm turning 14 in a few days actually, that might be why I sound older than 13! I get it a lot!!
  
  Thanks for the review!! and the support! Luv you babe!xx

• The Darkest Song

  (#) ChemicalGenocide 2008-05-13

  Well, I for one enjoyed it very much!!! Don't listen to authors who flame, 9 times out of ten they don't write themselves and are just having a cheap laugh over the internet! I think your ideas are really original, and Melody is so cute! Normally I don't really like OCs, but yours is adorable and has a real past, she's good to read! I think her and Harry make a lot of sense - they both have very similiar pasts and can relate to one another! Even though she's not suicidal, I can tell that cutting her arms isn't healthy, and maybe now that she has Harry to talk too, someone who can relate, she'll stop. And Harry hugging her, and not letting go was soooooooooo cute! Just don't let Hermione get her claws into him, I don't like her at all. She's so bossy and really rude!
  
  I can't wait to see what happens next! Are you going to kill off any characters? Harry and Melody are neighbors right, maybe a summer romance? And was Lucius (Luscious, lol) the one who killed her mum?
  
  Are you really only 13? Your writing style makes me think you might be a little bit older. Not calling you a liar, lol, just wondering!!!
  
  Anyway, hope this helps.

• The Darkest Song

  (#) cloneserpents 2008-05-14

  I don’t mean to be mean, but this story is littered with cliches. Now, in a genre like “Harry Potter Fan Fiction” it is very difficult not to write cliches, because, quite literally, it’s all been done before. But when I read the story’s description, I knew that the main character, Melody, would be beautiful, have long, luxurious black hair, beautiful blue eyes, be super smart, very powerful, and have studied martial arts. Also, there was a good possibility that her origin would be similar to Harry’s. Sadly, I was right on all counts. Also, the names smack of “These are my best friends’ names and I threw them into my story.”
  
  Otherwise, the writing is not bad. But I do have a few issues.
  
  The interaction between Melody and the stewardess on the plane doesn’t make sense.
  Quote:
  “You fell asleep then screamed bloody murder. We had to land the plane!” screamed the hostess, “It’s okay though, we’re back in the sky now.”
  End Quote
  Why would the hostess have screamed at Melody? And why would the airline land the plane because a passenger was screaming during a nightmare, only to take off before said passenger woke up? “We had to land the plane! It’s okay though, we’re back in the sky now.”
  
  Also, describing Melody as being “curvaceous and slender” is very much like saying “tall and short.”
  
  
  

  Author's response

  You bring up so many good points!! I'm surprised my beta didn't catch it. Omg I need ton have words with her!!
  
  I take your points and i will gladly improve my later chapters!
  
  Thanks for the review!! I hope my writing measures up in the future chapters! :D
  xx

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