(#) HarryGinnyTonks 2008-05-15Spontaneous declarations of love? A bit unrealistic. I would like to see their relationship progress a little slower than a chance meeting in Diagon Alley to completion in about an hour.
Okay chapter, again I feel like you could've added a bit more to it, perhaps made the Gringotts visit this chapter.
- I really like the Harry-Fleur pairing - but give them a little more time to realize their feelings! Even after a near death experience these sudden explanations of love are in my opinion very unrealistic.
Otherwise I like where you go with your story and who am I to critique - I cannot write to save my live ;-))
- Now, I think you meant that for every minute outside equated to one hour inside. And if that is what you meant to say then it is more around the figure of 420 days or 14 months; but that really doesn't matter, it's your story after all, you get to write it as you see fit.
As for the story itself, I just started reading it and I like the direction you're heading in but I feel you're rushing the story a bit, maybe longer chapters or something, I don't know but either way, again it's your story and I do rather enjoy it and I will continue to read it. Hope you don't consider this as an act of Flaming or whatever but more in the lines of constructive criticism.
(#) Arkenstone007 2008-05-16I think the spontaneous declarations of love come from Fleur's Veela Heritage. I have seen it done before with both her and Gabrielle. I love Independent Harry - Manipulative Dumbles Fics! Chapters could be longer. Keep up the good work... I can't wait.
- Well baak, aren't you a bit of a fucking moron? Seriously, get a beta, lengthen your chapters, toughen up HP, lose the ghost and the sudden "ZOMG, I think I loves you's!!1!1" You'll have a story that's cliched as hell, but readable by retards, anyways.
Author's responseYou know what! You've posted here before, and I think you are just a really rude and mean person who loves to mock people over the internet! It's cowardly is what it is!
If you don't like my work, that's fine, you don't have to read it. I can't stop you from flaming, and whatever, even if I get upset, at the end of the day I'm going to have a good life and you're alone with your computer!
But even if you flame me, don't come here and flame my reviewers! They have done NOTHING to you, at all! Also, funnny how only 'retards' read this story, and yet here YOU are - AGAIN!
Please, don't come back!
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