FicWad

At 8 PM sharp I made my way over to the other side of the street for my first ever job experience. I was fucking psyched. Always hating my babysitters, I was determined to make the world a better place and be the world's coolest babysitter these damn kids ever had. I would be tough but fair, funny but strict and none of them would end up on a leash but most of all I would be so much fun these fuckers wouldn't know what hit them...Not that I'd hit them...And they weren't fuckers I suppose...Fuck I really need to work on my phrasing...

My mother of course went all gooey on my ass, 'Oh my little baby got her first job'
'Babies don't work, mother', I said importantly. I didn't intend to tell her, I thought dad was home and yelled it out the minute I set foot in the house when the bitch crawled from under her rock. But I wasn't gonna let her ruin this for me...In fact I'm gonna do everything the opposite of what she would've done since she proved herself to be quite lacking in the maternal department.
I stopped in front of a poorly kept house and double checked the address Ray gave me. Could it be the right one? The paint was peeling at some parts and the wooden steps that led to the porch creaked, the garden of the family wasn't kept and there were toys scattered all around, either they didn't have the money to care for this or the patience. I looked around before knocking gently on the wooden dirty door, plastering a nice yet tough smile on my face.
I heard some voices and some screams but not the kind that had opening the door to the sweet young adult on the porch on their agenda.

15 minutes later and after me knocking on every knockable surface since their bell didn't work, a lady with a bird nest on her head and a tired face opened the door, making me jump back a little, "You're late," she looked me over, balancing one little girl on her hip and another identical looking one attached to her dirty night gown ,

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, stepping into the brightly lit and noisy house, "The door and the bell"

"Petty," the little girl that was gripping the lady's leg squeaked, pointing at me.

"I'm Viola," I smiled at her and outstretched my hand to shake her little palm.

"Petty," she insisted, high fiving my hand. She circled me a few times and ran out of the room hauling like a fucking Indian.

I gawped after her tiny figure in flowery dress, amazed at the sounds these little pair of lungs are capable of making. Ray didn't tell me his cousins are fucking fruit cakes and I didn't mean fruit cake cute. I mean literally fruit cakes.

The lady gave me a sympathetic smile, "That's Mandy but you better call her moonlight hawk or you'll have a real mess on your hands. She's in her Indian phase."

I nodded. Indian hawk. Moonlight phase. OK.

"This is Mary," the lady motioned on the hawk's twin who was sucking her thumb and staring over my head with her big round blue eyes, "She's the quiet one. Mooney have enough energy for both of them"

I nodded again, taking mental notes in my head. Mooney the hawk is crazy. Mary is creepy. I mean she really was creepy, just staring ahead without even blinking or moving at all except for the motions of sucking. I could totally understand why the old babysitter ran away screaming. But I wasn't some wuss, I had my eyes set firmly on the prize. I'm gonna get my fucking gold pool and make the kids love me. No matter how crazy they were, I was used to crazy people, I was surrounded by crazy people all my life. Just look at my family. Or friends. Yeah 'nuff said.

"So the twins are 6, Bassanio is 7 and Donny is 3," the lady put Mary down and started up the stairs. I followed her, glancing back at Mary who stood at the bottom of the stairs, sucking her thumb and staring at the same spot as before.

"Is Mary OK?"

"What do you mean?" the lady stopped in her tracks and turned to give me a dark glare.

I bit my lip a little, "She's real quiet, I just thought maybe something's bothering her"

She scanned my face again before climbing the stairs again, "She's fine. She's always quiet"

Always creepy. Gotcha. The damage was done though, I fucking asked the mother if her kid wasn't as insane as she looked, a big no no in the babysitting guide book...Yeah so I browsed through some of the parenting books my mother had, at least I was taking my job seriously, I gotta fix this though, "So Bassanio is inspired by the Merchant of Venice?"

"Who?"

"Shakespeare's play," at least I got something out of my brother having a gay lover. I got to know more about Shakespeare then your average kid.

"No"

"Oh"

"All you gotta do is fix them some dinner, make sure they don't kill each other and tuck them in"

I bet she meant Mary when she talked about the killing part. Hawk was insane too but Mary looked like the kind of insane that kills people and sucks their thumb, staring into space.

"They aren't allergic to anything and Mooney doesn't really explode when she sees carrots so don't buy it"

A short blond boy suddenly emerged from one of the rooms with hawk armed with a bow on his tail, aiming for his ass and laughing evilly. The boy shrieked and hid behind his mom, "Make her stop, mom"

His mom sighed and yanked the bow out of hawk's hands who's bottom lip trembled before hissing angrily, "Mooney hawk will get you in you sleep," and with that she retreated back to the her room.

Holy shit! She wasn't fucking Mooney, a loony was more like it! Gold pool gold pool gold pool, just remember the gold pool...

"This is Bass," the lady yanked the boy from behind and pushed him forward, "And this is your new babysitter, Viola. She's a friend of Ray's"

Bass's eyes sparkled at the mention of Ray's name, I bet mine did too. I outstretched my hand to him, "Hey Bass"
He blushed madly and ran around his mother's back, peeking.

"He has a problem with girls," the lady shrugged and advanced further the corridor as Bass rushed to another room.
I nodded, feeling his pain. After all I've met his crazy ass sister, no wonder her had a problem with girl, I would too. Fuck! What if I made Alex gay?! Maybe his gayism (not an actual word? Tell that to Serj) was all my fault. I didn't have an Indian phase but come on, I dragged a dead fish fucking duct taped to a leash around, that was one hell of a visual.

"Oh and don't let Mooney anywhere near the baby. I heard her say something about sacrificing the youngest earlier," the lady ( damn Ray for not telling me her name) motioned on the pink door on the left, "Bass and the twins go to bed at around 9.30 and Donny...Well he's sleeping all the time anyway so just wake him up for his dinner and bath and tuck him in again. Mooney has a few traditions before bed so just leave her to it as long as she's not burning anything down...Or dangling her older brother out of the window," she opened a few drawers and pulled out what looked like a skirt and a red blouse, "Mary and Bass shouldn't be a problem. Mary likes a story before bed time and Bass...He's a happy camper as long as Mooney's kept away and under supervision," or on a leash...Mmm.
She paused in front of the mirror, "I'm such a mess and Kyle is coming any minute now"

"Teased hair is really in now," I grinned, looking around the messy room which had clothes as a carpet and toys as accessories, "Who's Kyle?"

"My baby," she beamed for the first time since I've been here, "Donny's dad"

"Oh," I shifted my weight from one let to the other.

"Oh and before I forget," She grabbed a comb from her vanity and tried to tease her hair even more, a little more and she'd look like an electric chair survivor, "Matt is the twins dad and he's...Well you shouldn't have any troubles tonight since it's his hookers night but just in case he stops by don't let him in"

"Why?" I kinda gulped, my pulse quickened a little.

"He's a..." she looked around before whispering, "Motherfucker'

"OK," I knew plenty of these...Speaking of which...., "Is it OK if my umm...," what exactly was Gerard's status? A friend? I dunno, I had a real hard time calling him that, our parents affair was like a wall between us. Lover? Yeah tell that to the mother of the kids you're babysitting, idiot. Classmate? Not exactly, "My study partner comes around to finish our art project? It's really important and I promise to do it after the kids are in bed"

"A study partner," she turned around to look at me, "A guy study partner?"

"Sorta," I tried to look casual but could see my reflection blushing.

"Sorta huh?," she beamed again and turned to tease her hair some more, now she really did look like she escaped the electric chair, "As long as it's not in front of the kids. I can't afford Mooney getting any ideas"

"Oh no it's just an art project we need to finish, nothing like that," I reassured her.

"Ray said I could trust you," she shrugged, "And I trust Ray"
The door rang, making us both shriek. Me because I thought their bell was busted and the lady (fucking Ray) grabbed the clothes she picked out and ran into the bathroom, "Stall him!"

I trotted down the stairs, hoping it wasn't actually Gerard demonstrating his Geetardness and showing up earlier. I came to a halt at the bottom of the stairs where Mary didn't budge an inch from her previous position, "Geez Mary," I exclaimed, freaked out by her statuettic look, "Go watch TV or something"

She gave me exactly one glance before turning back into fucking stone. The bell rang again so I passed her to answer it.

"Holy shit, Carla! You get more smokin' hot with every kid you pop out!," the tall dude hollered the moment I flung the door open. Charming.

"You must be Kyle," I stepped completely out of the way and even so he managed to brush against me, reeking of alcohol, "I'm Viola, the new babysitter. Carla will be down in a few minutes"

"You can say that again," he winked one blue unfocused eye at me.

I tried to stretch my lips in a smile but I think I looked more like I was in pain then happy to meet him.

"Oh Many," he exclaimed at the sight of Mary before kneeling clumsily beside her, "You seem to be in a good mood today"

Good mood?! The kid was staring into space for fuck knows how long! I didn't wanna know what she's like when she's having a bad day.

"It's Mary," she told him coldly in a little hard voice not louder then a whisper, tucked her thumb back in, turned on her heels and left the hall.

"Kids!,' he threw his hands in the air, laughing.

"Yeah go figure," I said sarcastically.

"So how old are you, doll?." he ran his unfocused little greedy eyes down my body.

"Carla!," I yelled, not tearing my eyes from his, "Your date is here!"

Kyle laughed again, "I'm drunk not stupid, I get the hint"

"Good," I allowed myself to relax a little.

Carla came rushing down the stairs in her tight red skirt, tighter then tight red blouse, hair oblivious to gravity, bright red lipstick and 10 inches heels. She floated into Kyle's arms and kissed him deeply. I looked away when I noticed Kyle winking at me while kissing her. She pulled away and grabbed his arm, tugging him for the exit, "Be back at around midnight, good luck!"
I closed the door behind them and turned around to come face to face with a set of blue big eyes and a bow...