Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > You’re My Phobia

Chapter Two: I Feel So

by EvolHexx 7 reviews

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2008-06-03 - Updated: 2008-06-03 - 1235 words - Complete

Chapter Two: I Feel So
Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me

“So Gerard, how are you feeling this evening?”

“Like shit.”

“And whys that?”

“Because.. I’m alone.”

The middle aged woman scribbled away furiously at the crumbled note pad that rested on her lap. She pursed her lips as she eyed me curiously. “Why do you feel alone Gerard?”

I turned away from her skeptical glare and nibbled my lower lip as she eyed me. “Because I just do.”

“There has to be a reason Gerard.”

I shot her an annoyed glance.

“Why do you fell alone Gerard” She repeated.

“Why? You wanna know why?! It’s because I am alone. And I always will be, forever and ever.“

She coughed rather loudly, scribbling furiously once more. “Is it because you suffer from Aphephobia?”

My body stiffened as I replayed the session with my counselor, over and over. I mean seriously, who the fuck did she think she was asking me such a question? Of course it was because I suffer from Aphephobia!
It surprised me really.. Not even my mother nor Mikey had ever confronted me about it. My mother had sent me to numerous youth meeting to try and “interact,” but obviously that didn’t go to well considering every time someone touched me I would scream and cry. My mother scolded me badly that day, because I punched a kid no older than 10 in the face when he came up and tried to shake my hand.

No one understands.
And no one ever will.

“Do you understand how hard it is for Mikey, Gerard?!”

Well have you ever stopped to think about it, how hard it actually must be for ME?

I’m not exactly asking for the ‘pity’ speech. All I’m asking for is some consideration.

“Your so selfish.”

“All you think about is yourself.”

“Why are you telling at him! He did nothing!”

Don’t get me wrong, I understand how hard it is for my family, but you have no fucking idea how hard it is for me.

To watch your mother hug your younger brother and smile warmly as he raps his arms around her and whispers a small “I love you mummy.”

To watch that.. and never be able to have that.

..Funny isn’t it, how you don’t know what you go until its gone.

I leaned my head against the headboard, grinning slightly. Hours has passes since Mikey has left for school and he was due back any moment.

If it wasn’t for him, I swear.. I wouldn’t be here today. He practically keeps me alive. I would do anything for him, and I mean anything.

“Gee! Gee, look!”

I giggled as Mikey rushed into my room, green paint splattered across his cheek. “What’s wrong Mikes?” I laughed as he held up a rushed splattered painting of a tree and swing in the distance. “For you!” he giggled as he handed it to me. “Maybe I’ll be as good as you one day gee.”

I smiled sheepishly at the memory; I leaned over and opened the cabinet next to my bed, digging thought a pile of papers I slowly retreated a faded white painting in hand. I traced my fingertips across the brown flickers of paint, indicating the brown stems of the tree.

“You like it Gee?!”

I grinned and nodded excitedly, chuckling as Mikey yelped in excitement. He jumped up and down childishly and then without hesitation he wrapped his arms around my waste holding me tightly. “I love you Gee-Bear”

My vision began to cloud as the tears slowly formed. Every happy memory I had, always ended in tragedy.

“I love you, I love you” Mikey sang, gripping my waste tighter.

My eyes widened as the burning sensation began to increase.

He’s touching me. He’s touching me. He’s touching me!

My mouth snapped open as a screeching scream escaped my lips. I screamed, and screamed until I finally roughly slapped Mikey away. “GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY!”

The tears slowly drowned my cheeks as they ran softly down my pail cheeks. I sniffed loudly, clenching the painting tightly. “I’m sorry Mikey, I’m sorry.” I repeated as if to rid the bad memories.

Mikey’s eyes widened in fear as my hand made contact with his face. He flew backwards hitting the ground hard with a loud thump.

I slowly collapsed, crying softly as I wrapped my hands around my knees I began to rock myself back and forward, sobbing loudly as I continued to sit in my fatal position.

“I hate you!”

Frozen. Shock. Hurt. Pain. Burn.

My eyes snapped open, and there stood Mikey, hands clenched in fits. “I HATE YOU!” he screamed.


My head snapped up as the front door slammed open, the shut again.


Mikey??” I whispered, jumping slightly as Mikey flew in and collapsed on my bed.

I stood stunned for a moment, that is until I realized he was bleeding. “Mikey! Oh shit! What happened!?”

Harsh sob’s echoed the silent room as Mikey cried, I tugged at his hair twice causing his to look up. I gasped at the numerous bruises covering his face. Crimson blood stained his noise and cheeks, my eye twitched as anger began to rise thought my entire body. “Who did this to you Mikes?”

It wasn’t the first time Mikey had been beaten up in school. He didn’t exactly have many friends. Much like me, he was the outcast. He was the “nerd”, unlike myself who was knows as the “freak.”

A single tear ran down my cheeks once more.

This is my fault. All my fault!

“M-Mikey-“ My voice broke as Mikey griped my bed sheets tightly. “I hate t-this Gee. I h-hate life.”

My body shook as he held himself. “I-I want to d-die.”

Your to blame. You could have saved him. You did this. YOU.

More tears slipped down my cheeks as I suddenly took hold of Mikey’s wrist and pulled him into an embrace. “I l-love you M,-Mikey!” My voice crackled as I held my brother tightly, the pain increasing every second.

My body began to shake as I gripped him tighter. My breathing became raged as sharp pains were being shot thought my entire body.

“GERARD!” Mikey screamed, trying to pull away from my grasp as my body began to tremble violently. “GERARD LET GO!” Mikey screamed only causing me to hug him tighter. “I..I..” My head began to spin as the burning sensation was becoming unbearable. “I..l-l-love.. y-y-y-y-you..”

My arms finally gave out as my lethargic body fell backwards, hitting the headboard of the bed set hard. And with one final breath I began to scream as the pain soared throughout my entire body. Sharp daggers of pain pierced my body as I trembled, trying my best to catch my breath, but then without expectation.. my body began to feel numb. My vision began to blur until the fatal calls of my baby brother called for me as I slipped into darkness.

Sights Mmmm.. i'm not to happy with this chapter.
Im really sorry it wasnt the best. =______=;

Anywho, review please.


PS. I ask you all to please listen to the songs before reading the chapters.. they make it seem more awesome! XD
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