FicWad

Kara walked into the apartment and threw down her bag. She moved into the bedroom, kicked off her shoes and laid down on the bed. Her head was pounding. She closed her eyes just wanting to fall asleep. Bob’s call forced her to roll over and grab her phone.
“Where are you?” He asked.
“In my apartment.” She answered rubbing her forehead trying to ease the pain.
“You didn’t go home?”
“I am home.” She said softly.
Bob sat down on his bed, “Hun, you know what I mean. I thought you’d go see your mom when you got out of school.”
Kara knew that’s what he’d think. He believed she was a good person who would go run to her mom’s side. “No, I couldn’t.” She whispered.
“It’s okay, Kara.” Bob said understanding the emotions she was going through.
His words caused her to break into tears, “No, it’s not okay. I’m a shit. I should be over there comforting my mom. I should have fucking told my sister what happened but I didn’t. I ran home to my apartment.”
“Listen to me. I understand how you feel.”
Kara hiccupped, “No you don’t.”
Bob closed his eyes, “Yeah, I do. You don’t want to deal with this. You don’t want to see your mom in pain. You don’t want to see how badly this is gonna hurt Kelly. You’ve seen enough pain in your life. I understand why you’re running from it.”
“But that doesn’t make it right.” Kara said hating herself.
“Fuck, I wish I was there with you.” Bob said, “I should be there with you.”
Kara was unable to stop crying.

“Mom?” Kelly walked slowly into the kitchen, “Luke is coloring with Elle so I could come in and talk to you. Is Alicia okay?”
“She’s just feeling a little sick. Morning sickness in the afternoon.” Monica said with a slight smile.
Kelly moved over to the counter where Monica was slicing tomatoes for a salad. “So what’s going on?” She held her breath waiting for an answer she knew was going to hurt.
Monica wiped her hands on a dishcloth. “Let’s sit for a minute.” She nodded towards the kitchen table. Once they were seated Monica took a deep breath. “I need to tell you something about Gerard and me.”
“Oh, God.” Kelly whispered, “What happened?”
“We’ve broken up.” Monica said softly.
Kelly stared at her mother in shock, “You broke up with him?”
Monica blinked back tears and willed herself to be strong. “He broke up with me.” She wanted to be honest with Kelly about what had happened.
“But why?” Kelly asked, “I don’t understand.”
Monica had gone over this conversation in her mind trying to practice what she would say. Still the words wouldn’t come. “He’s decided that our relationship wasn’t what he wanted.”
“This is wrong.” Kelly said standing up and taking a step away from the table. “He loves you, I know he does and you love him.”
“I’m sorry, Kelly. I don’t know what to say.” Monica lost the battle to keep from crying. Tears silently rolled down her cheeks.
Kelly stood staring at her, “I was right.” She whispered.
Monica didn’t understand, “Right?”
“The morning he left for the tour I felt like he was never coming home.” She shook her head, “But I knew when I felt that it was wrong. I know he still loves all of us.”
Monica stood, “I’m so sorry, Honey.” She tried to reach out of Kelly but the young girl took another step back. “This is all so wrong.”
“He’s made his decision.” Monica said feeling her heart break.
“No.” Kelly shook her head, “No.” She turned and ran towards the deck door.
“Kelly.” Monica yelled. She didn’t want her leaving the house in this state.
Throwing open the door Kelly raced outside. Monica tried to follow her but Luke’s voice caused her to stop. “Let me go after her.”
Monica turned to see him standing in the doorway. “Stay with Elle. I’ll find Sunshine. I’ll take care of her.” He looked Monica in the eye, “I promised Gerard I’d take care of her.”

Mikey took a deep breath, “Fuck it, Gee. You’re gonna talk to me.” He crossed his arm and stood his ground, “Now.”
Gerard stared at him. “Fine, brother. Let’s talk.”
“Tell me what the fuck is going on. I don’t understand. None of us understand. How could you do that to Monica?”
“Monica is my business.” Gerard said walking over and taking a seat across the room. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it.
“But you love her, I know you do.” Mikey said softly. “Why would you hurt her like that?”
“We only hurt the ones we love. Isn’t that right?” Gerard challenged.
Mikey shook his head, “What? I don’t understand.”
Gerard narrowed his eyes, “Liv told me before she died that she had always loved me but fuck, she hurt me all the time.”
“I don’t understand.” Mikey repeated as he continued to stare at his brother.
“Do you love me Mikey?” Gerard asked in a deathly calm voice.
Mikey dropped his arms to his side, “You know I do, Gee.”
Gerard was about to tell his brother how much he’d hurt him when Monica’s voice filled his head. He’d heard what she’d said about Alicia. He stopped and closed his eyes.
“Gee?” Mikey took a step towards him. “Please tell me what’s happened. You’re so angry and I want to understand. I can’t stand to see you like this.” His words were honest and pure.
Gerard kept his eyes closed trying to think.
Mikey still struggling to understand, “Monica took care of Liv. It couldn’t have been easy for her. She knows how you felt about Liv.’
Just hearing Mikey say Liv’s name brought a fresh wave of anger. “Shut the fuck up about Liv. I wish I’d never met the bitch.”
Mikey blinked, “But if you hadn’t you wouldn’t have Elle. Think about your little girl.”
Gerard unleashed all the pain he’d been feeling.. “I don’t give a shit about anyone anymore.” He opened his mouth to say more but stopped when he saw the look on Mikey’s face.
“Gee, think of all the people you have that love you.”
“I got no one.” Gerard ground out, “No fucking one and that’s how I want it. I don’t ever want to need anyone again. This is how I am choosing to live my life. Do you fucking understand?” The utter despair on Mikey’s face stopped him.
“Gee, you have me. You’ll always have me.” Mikey whispered. Suddenly he stopped, seeing the look of disbelief on his brother’s face. “What? What is going on? Did I do something?”
Gerard took a deep breath and felt his anger grow. The image of his brother and Liv suddenly flashed before him. He closed his eyes with the pain. He opened them again prepared to finally unleash all of his fury and frustration. His vision cleared long enough to see the tears in Mikey’s eyes.
“No.” Gerard said quietly, “No, Mikey. You didn’t do anything. This is all my fault.” He’d always loved and protected his little brother. Seeing him so wrecked he knew there was nothing he would ever say to hurt him.
“But you’re so angry. What did I do?”
“Mikey, stop.” Gerard yelled, “I told you. This is all my fault. All of it. I couldn’t deal with Liv’s death. Monica could see this. I couldn’t go on hurting her.” It was lie upon lie but it had to be done.
Closing his eyes Mikey shook his head, “But you do love her, I know you do. Gee, I saw the look in your eyes when you first told me you wanted to marry her. You told me you wanted to take care of her for the rest of your life. Don’t you remember? It was when she was on tour with us and we’d taken her to the doctor cause she was so sick.”
Gerard remembered that day well. He suddenly remembered so many things about Monica. God, how was he going to go on without her?
“And then the accident.” Mikey went on, “Gee, you looked like you’d die if she didn’t pull through. You love her.” Mikey said again. “How can you let her go?”
Gerard looked away, “I didn’t let her go. I pushed her away.” He whispered.
Mikey ran his hands over his face trying to get control of his emotions, “I can’t watch this happen to you, Gee. I just can’t.”
Gerard knew he had to get control of the situation. He had to take care of his brother. “Mikey, stop.” He said softly.
“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t watch this.” Mikey started for the door. “I’m gonna go home.” His voice shook.
“Mikey.” Gerard called out as his brother put his hand out for the doorknob, “Please stay. I need you to help me.”
Slowly Mikey turned. He looked into his brother’s eyes, “Gee, do you mean it? Do you really care if I stay or not?”
He knew he would always love his brother; he would always take care of him. “Yeah man, I need you.”

AUTHORS NOTE: Hey guys I'm taking off a few days. Next update will be on Monday. See you all then. - SanDee XOXO