FicWad

Madeline was faced with a problem. A handsome talented ghostly problem. After another week of constantly being with Brendon Urie the deceased lead singer of Panic at the Disco, Madeline could not longer attempt to convince herself even in her dreams that she was not falling, that she had not fallen and fallen hard for Brendon. She threw herself into what she was supposed to be wrapping her mind around, the fact that he was dead just wouldn't stop her heart from beating so fast against her ribs every time she sensed him, smelled him, thought of him. Every day she visited his grave, tried to contact the three existing former members of PATD and dived into her books on 'spiritual lingering' which she still had to complain to a whining scene queen that made her pink pierced presence known every day whether it be by phone or personal visits that were always random and unnerving. But Madeline forgot it all when the sun started to disappear and twilight set in, and Brendon was in her arms, eager to try and drink up her warmth. She'd always hide her blue lips and shivers from him, hating to catch the sadness in the hazed beautiful brown eyes that she was sure used to be full of life, just like the rest of him. It was this line of thinking that made her sigh heavily as she jotted down notes in her leather-bound journal while Brendon played a guitar Madeline had bought from a second-hand shop downtown. She was trying to focus on something she'd read from an old book published in the seventies stating that some who could see ghosts could also travel to the past for the spirit they were so deeply 'tuned into'.

"Madeline, did you hear what I said?" Madeline picked up her head, a confused slow smile spreading across her lips which made Brendon smile quickly in response. "Um, I'm sorry I was wrapped up in my own thoughts, what did you say?" Brendon shook his head and put down the guitar, floating over to Madeline and sitting beside her stretched out body, then pointedly looking out at the window of his bedroom. "I said it's almost twilight, is all." Madeline's heart broke all over again as she sat up and met those sad chocolate eyes that lit up at the prospect of almost connecting to another person. He ached for it, she could read it so easily, and she closed her eyes as the sun hid itself and she felt cool hands trace her blushing face, brushing away loose curls and tracing her collarbone, making her shiver for more than just the chill from Brendon's touch. She opened her bright green eyes to focus on Brendon's, and smiled softly, opening her arms and giggling as his eager smile as he settled into her arms, his head resting back on her shoulder, his cold lips brushing against her curls before she brushed her hair back from his face.
"I wish...I could smell you. You know? Girls always smell like something different...it like, annoys me that I don't know what you smell like. I can't smell anything. Do I even smell good? I mean I really don't see the point in me showering, so, I guess I smell like...old?" Madeline was both amused and saddened by Brendon's rambling. He hated being dead, he really did. It just steeled her resolve even more. "You don't smell old Brendon, you smell wonderful, your bed smells like how you used to, it's a comforting smell...as for what I smell like...well, I use this lotion called Satsuma Orange, which I think in Japan is called mikan? Well anyway and then I use this spray I've always loved since my mother used to wear it, called Love Spell? Victoria Secret sells it." Brendon went "Hmm." And that's all that was said for a while. "What's on your mind?" Madeline murmured, leaning her head against Brendon's, trying to ignore the shivers that threatened to take over her body. "Just...really, really...wishing that I was alive. That I could feel you know? Steal your Chinese food and actually EAT it...just, you know, stuff I took kinda for granted when I was still alive." Madeline closed her eyes to keep herself from crying as her heart broke all over again once more, her shivers forgotten. "I promise...I'll find a way, okay? I swear to you, Brendon. I'm not God, but they have hymns about him being merciful for a reason..." She sniffed and hid her face from Brendon, who turned it right back towards him again, her tears turning to ice as his fingers touched them. "Don't cry for me. Please." Madeline nodded and took a deep breath, her glazed green eyes studying Brendon carefully. "I'm sorry." "It's okay. Let's get some rest, yeah?" Madeline nodded in agreement and laid down, Brendon fading away as nightfall approached. Madeline fell asleep shortly after, her heart and mind exhausted.

Over breakfast that consisted of a blue bowlful of Madeline's favorite Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds, Brendon appeared on top of the table, holding a half-full sketchbook of Madeline's with different colored fingerprints dirtying the blank black cover and edges worn and bent. "You didn't tell me you could draw so GOOD, Mads! Look at this! I mean, the picture of you at the very end is...amazing, like, you look so sad...but it's beautiful, really. Look, I don't even know what to say it's so good. Did you even look in the mirror?" Madeline paused mid-crunch and put her spoon down, trying not to choke as she laughed. She swallowed and asked, "So, are you so bored that you have to look at half-ass'd doodles? And no, I didn't look in a mirror, I just...went with how I imagined I looked. Do I really look sad?" She totally ignored the beautiful part, not wanting to have to fight off another blush. "Well...look at it." Brendon opened the book to the page where Madeline was revealed, lips parted but not with a smile, eyes searching for something better that lied waiting for her from beyond old pages, curls loose and untamed, her eyebrows knit together slightly with worry. The Madeline currently enjoying her breakfast bit her lip and held her hand under her chin, studying herself and feeling...sad. She nodded slowly and shrugged. "I guess it does look sad. I wonder if I sketched myself now, if I'd be any happier or if I'd look depressed." Finally looking up to take note of Brendon's crestfallen expression Madeline quickly snapped out of her melancholy reverie and laughed off her thoughts. "Listen to me, sheesh. Now all we need is for it to start raining." Just then the steady pitter-patter of a strong rainfall was heard from the roof and the windows. Brendon grinned at Madeline's expression. "Spoke too soon, right?" Madeline laughed and rushed upstairs to close the windows, missing Brendon's thoughtful look out of an open window Madeline had yet to notice. He missed rain, too.



------A.N.~
So wow, I was so intent on finishing this story, and I got so caught up in my life that I couldn't jump into my imagination long enough to finish a chapter! Sad, right? I noticed previous chapters were lacking, but don't worry, I'll try to deliver ;)