Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Awake
I lay immobile in the darkness, staring unconsciously as the early morning light filtered through the ceramic blinds, bathing the room in the soft first light, grazing gently over my body like a lovers touch. Frank had not returned to the room.
Making my way into the kitchen, I slumped into one of the chairs, staring around the empty room, wishing desperately that he would appear behind the fridge door, a smile capturing his lips as he offered me a warm good morning kiss, maybe even a whispered ‘I love you.’ Nobody popped from behind the door though, or the counter or anywhere else for that matter. Nonetheless, I knew he was still home; I could hear noise coming from behind the wooden door just outside the kitchen, knew exactly where he was. Exactly where I didn’t want to be.
Within an hour, Frank had emerged from the basement, quickly heading to the sink to wash his hands before leaning casually against the counter, his unreadable gaze fixed on me.
“I have to go out for a while today. A friend of mine will be by later.” Despite wanting to remain silent, my lips moved of their own will, sound escaping past them.
“Is it Mikey?” Mikey was the only friend of Frank’s that I had ever met, once, what seemed like a hundred years ago. Seemingly ignoring my question as though he hadn’t heard it, Frank rummaged through the fridge, finally emerging with a can, promptly cracking it open before taking a gulp.
“No.” Like a light too soon extinguished, so was any hope that this morning would be any different than the others, as he turned on his heel and exited the kitchen.
As five o’clock rolled around the door bell rang, causing me to jump slightly from my perch on the leather couch, my staring game with the ceramic dog in the corner broken by the shrill call.
I watched with practiced indifference as Frank sauntered into the front hall, my view of him obscured by the archway, the distance a bit too far to hear anything beyond soft muttering. Despite myself curiosity crept heavily into my bones; I wanted to know who was at the door. I knew with certainty that it was not Mikey, as Frank had already dismantled that small hope, leading me to wonder who his ‘friend’ could be.
Barely a minute passed before Frank re-enter the room, his eyes still narrowed disdainfully towards me, dropping my gaze almost immediately before turning back around with a smile plastered in place. Only then did I rip my gaze away and focus on our visitor, my eyes widening slightly in astonishment.
It was my angel.
Sticking out a pale hand, small white teeth gleamed behind pink lips spread in a wide smile.
“Gerard. You must be Kaelin.” I couldn’t stop staring, my hand lying limply beside me as I continued to stare in hungry curiosity at the impossibility of having this creature here in front of me, and alive.
A slight cough brought my attention back to the fact that Gerard’s hand still lay awkwardly outstretched before me, his features a mixture of amusement and embarrassment. Heat rushed immediately to my own pale cheeks as I realized that I’d been staring at him. Swiftly, I thrust my hand forwards to meet his, shaking jerkily before replacing it back in my lap, my eyes immediately downcast, my cheeks still burning.
“Kael, this is my friend Gerard, he’s Mikey’s older brother. He’s going to stay with you while I go out.” I nodded mutely from my spot on the couch, still trying to sneak a glance at the blonde hair adorning the head of the angel who called himself Gerard. “I told him you weren’t feeling well and that I didn’t want to leave you alone.” The pointed way that Frank was looking at me almost made me want to laugh. Almost. Instead I again nodded, leaning back into the soft cushions, doing my best to look ‘sick’, a feat I found wasn’t too much of a stretch.
“I’ll be home in a couple of hours…” Frank stepped away from Gerard, heading in my direction, his eyes locked on mine as he sat on the corner of the couch, close enough for me to smell the familiar essence of cigarettes, coffee and aftershave that seemed to permeate through his very pores. My eyes fluttered shut at the warmth that radiated off of his body, surrounding me.
My eyes flicked open again at the feel of callused fingers lightly gripping my chin, forcing my gaze up, his lips inches away from my own, hot breath spiriting across my lips.
“Please don’t do anything stupid Kael.” Sapphire lifted from his lips to stare into hazel-green in bewilderment; the soft voice and closeness of his body sending tingles from my spine into my brain forcing it into hyper drive.
Stepping away from my twittering body, the sudden loss of warmth made me shiver as I continued to stare after him, once again completely unaware of our guest, as he made his way to the door, nodding once to Gerard before winking at me.
“Be home soon, babe.”
My brain was feeling overwhelmed with the thoughts rushing by, blurs of images and scenarios as I heard the door slam shut, the soft clink of the lock and the plunk as Gerard seated himself in the leather chair across from me. I couldn’t concentrate on Gerard right now though, my head was too filled with Frank; there was simply no space for anyone else.
“So, um, I’m not really sure what you’re up for, if anything…I mean, I uh…” I looked up with slight amusement at the bubbling man in front of me, fumbling around his words as his cheeks reddened, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips, ready to expose those miniature teeth again.
“You don’t need to baby sit me Gerard if that’s what you’re worried about.” His cheeks seemed to flush even more at my suggestion. “I’m not a little kid, I’ll be twenty-two in a couple weeks.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to suggest, I just, I’m not quite sure why Frank wanted me to come over…” Those caramel eyes lifted instantly to my own at his realized utterance. “I mean, I’m happy to come over! You’re gorgeous and Frank talks loads about you, and I’ve wanted to meet you forever…God, I need to stop talking.” A small giggle passed my lips, making me once again drop my gaze from the penetrating ones before me.
The awkward silence that is expected to descend between such new acquaintances never made an appearance and I found myself talking quite animatedly to Gerard, a newfound confidence I hadn’t known I still possessed.
“So, how did you and Frank meet?” My eyes shot up at the question. Thus far, we had managed, for the most part, to stay away from any inquiring questions about Frank and my relationship.
“Um…a party, I guess was the first time…” Hastily, I wiped my palms across jean clad thighs, unsure why my mouth suddenly resembled sandpaper. It seemed my lame answer wasn’t enough to satisfy Gerard’s curiosity as he probed further.
“Yea, but I mean, how did you guys get together? You just went to the party and then poof, you were living together?” He giggled at the absurdity of the notion, leaning forwards in his chair, his head propped up by his hands, those caramel eyes intent on me, as I bit on my bottom lip, unsure how best to answer his question.
“No,” I forced a laugh past trembling lips, “of course not. Well, um, it was a few years ago and we started off as friends, really. I had a boyfriend at the time…” Closing my eyes momentarily, I tried to change the direction the conversation was heading in. “Anyways, um, Frank asked me out eventually. We dated for a couple of months and then I moved in.” I tried to make it as final sounding as possible, going so far as to get up from the couch, heading into the couch, eager to find anything that might quench the suffocating desert inhabited between my lips. Gerard immediately followed me.
Frantically grabbing a glass from the cabinet, I filled it with water, titling my head back to down the luke warm liquid, instantly regretting that I had not waited a moment more for it to chill. Lifting my eyes up to Gerard’s, I felt my breath catch in my throat; those hazel eyes, which had, moments before been filled with inquisitiveness and laughter, now radiated anger, fixed on my neck.
His voice was quiet when he finally found it, the anger barely concealed beneath the obviously forced calm. “Who did that Kaelin?” I knew he was referencing the purple fingerprints lining my neck; no doubt visible when I had drank the water. I could feel my hands shaking as I wrung them together before me, running one through my own pale hair, biting my lip to buy time, all the while giving him time to fester in the rage that was turning his pale face a shade of red that didn’t suit him at all.
“I uh, well, I fell, and -” His eyes darkened at my blatant lie, caramel hardening to chocolate.
“Did Frank do that? Don’t lie to me Kaelin.” I shook my head frantically, panic racing through my veins.
“No! No, of course not. No!” His eyes remained narrowed on me, seeming to see right through me, exposing all of my lies and I suddenly felt self conscious around him, every sense of comfort shattered like glass in that moment. “Sometimes, I don’t listen, and Frankie, he has to remind me, but he loves me, I know he does, he just hasn’t figured it out yet!” The familiar sting was biting at my eyelids once again, choking me as I struggled to make Gerard understand. “Frank saved me! He’s the only reason I’m still alive, sometimes I’m too hard on him though and he loses his temper. He never means to hurt me though, really he doesn’t!” Tepid tears were streaming from my cerulean eyes, their bitter salt burning the already overdosed flesh of my cheeks.
Something like pity, or maybe disgust laced its way into those hazel orbs, masking the anger that I knew still dwelled there. “Kaelin…it’s not alright if Frank hurts you. No matter what you think, you don’t deserve it. No one does.” Almost like a feather, his hand was on my shoulder, his fingers soft and smooth against my skin, a harsh contrast to the fingers I was used to. “You don’t have to put up with this, you can leave him. You should leave him.” I continued to shake my head, my eyes firmly clamped against the invasion of those caramel depths. “Kaelin, I’ll get you out of here, Frank will never know, you can be free of him forever.”
Shock and fear ripped through me, my eyes shooting open as I stumbled backwards, away from the angel of my dream. I needed to get away from here, from him; I knew what came next. Frantic, I scrambled out of the kitchen, panting as I reached the living room once again, Gerard hot on my trail, obviously confused at my erratic behaviour.
“Gerard, please leave.” Hurt traded with confusion at my words, his brows creased at my urge. “Please Gerard. Just leave.” He shook his head as if he wasn’t sure he was hearing me correctly.
“Why? I’m trying to save you.” Opening the front door, I ushered him outside, tears still streaking down my cheeks, my eyes burning from the never ending supply.
“I know. I don’t need to be saved Gerard. Goodbye.” Closing the door, I slid down, my back resting against the cool paint of the opposite wall as I buried my head in my hands.
-----
Whew me! Two chapters in two days!
I'm off to California tomorrow morning, so I'm not sure when the next update will be. Maybe if I get some good reviews (hint hint) I'll update early next week...
Cheers
Kat
P.S. Thanks to Smooshy for always commenting and all of your encouragement and advice. To mcr_over as well - I really do appreciate!
Making my way into the kitchen, I slumped into one of the chairs, staring around the empty room, wishing desperately that he would appear behind the fridge door, a smile capturing his lips as he offered me a warm good morning kiss, maybe even a whispered ‘I love you.’ Nobody popped from behind the door though, or the counter or anywhere else for that matter. Nonetheless, I knew he was still home; I could hear noise coming from behind the wooden door just outside the kitchen, knew exactly where he was. Exactly where I didn’t want to be.
Within an hour, Frank had emerged from the basement, quickly heading to the sink to wash his hands before leaning casually against the counter, his unreadable gaze fixed on me.
“I have to go out for a while today. A friend of mine will be by later.” Despite wanting to remain silent, my lips moved of their own will, sound escaping past them.
“Is it Mikey?” Mikey was the only friend of Frank’s that I had ever met, once, what seemed like a hundred years ago. Seemingly ignoring my question as though he hadn’t heard it, Frank rummaged through the fridge, finally emerging with a can, promptly cracking it open before taking a gulp.
“No.” Like a light too soon extinguished, so was any hope that this morning would be any different than the others, as he turned on his heel and exited the kitchen.
As five o’clock rolled around the door bell rang, causing me to jump slightly from my perch on the leather couch, my staring game with the ceramic dog in the corner broken by the shrill call.
I watched with practiced indifference as Frank sauntered into the front hall, my view of him obscured by the archway, the distance a bit too far to hear anything beyond soft muttering. Despite myself curiosity crept heavily into my bones; I wanted to know who was at the door. I knew with certainty that it was not Mikey, as Frank had already dismantled that small hope, leading me to wonder who his ‘friend’ could be.
Barely a minute passed before Frank re-enter the room, his eyes still narrowed disdainfully towards me, dropping my gaze almost immediately before turning back around with a smile plastered in place. Only then did I rip my gaze away and focus on our visitor, my eyes widening slightly in astonishment.
It was my angel.
Sticking out a pale hand, small white teeth gleamed behind pink lips spread in a wide smile.
“Gerard. You must be Kaelin.” I couldn’t stop staring, my hand lying limply beside me as I continued to stare in hungry curiosity at the impossibility of having this creature here in front of me, and alive.
A slight cough brought my attention back to the fact that Gerard’s hand still lay awkwardly outstretched before me, his features a mixture of amusement and embarrassment. Heat rushed immediately to my own pale cheeks as I realized that I’d been staring at him. Swiftly, I thrust my hand forwards to meet his, shaking jerkily before replacing it back in my lap, my eyes immediately downcast, my cheeks still burning.
“Kael, this is my friend Gerard, he’s Mikey’s older brother. He’s going to stay with you while I go out.” I nodded mutely from my spot on the couch, still trying to sneak a glance at the blonde hair adorning the head of the angel who called himself Gerard. “I told him you weren’t feeling well and that I didn’t want to leave you alone.” The pointed way that Frank was looking at me almost made me want to laugh. Almost. Instead I again nodded, leaning back into the soft cushions, doing my best to look ‘sick’, a feat I found wasn’t too much of a stretch.
“I’ll be home in a couple of hours…” Frank stepped away from Gerard, heading in my direction, his eyes locked on mine as he sat on the corner of the couch, close enough for me to smell the familiar essence of cigarettes, coffee and aftershave that seemed to permeate through his very pores. My eyes fluttered shut at the warmth that radiated off of his body, surrounding me.
My eyes flicked open again at the feel of callused fingers lightly gripping my chin, forcing my gaze up, his lips inches away from my own, hot breath spiriting across my lips.
“Please don’t do anything stupid Kael.” Sapphire lifted from his lips to stare into hazel-green in bewilderment; the soft voice and closeness of his body sending tingles from my spine into my brain forcing it into hyper drive.
Stepping away from my twittering body, the sudden loss of warmth made me shiver as I continued to stare after him, once again completely unaware of our guest, as he made his way to the door, nodding once to Gerard before winking at me.
“Be home soon, babe.”
My brain was feeling overwhelmed with the thoughts rushing by, blurs of images and scenarios as I heard the door slam shut, the soft clink of the lock and the plunk as Gerard seated himself in the leather chair across from me. I couldn’t concentrate on Gerard right now though, my head was too filled with Frank; there was simply no space for anyone else.
“So, um, I’m not really sure what you’re up for, if anything…I mean, I uh…” I looked up with slight amusement at the bubbling man in front of me, fumbling around his words as his cheeks reddened, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips, ready to expose those miniature teeth again.
“You don’t need to baby sit me Gerard if that’s what you’re worried about.” His cheeks seemed to flush even more at my suggestion. “I’m not a little kid, I’ll be twenty-two in a couple weeks.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to suggest, I just, I’m not quite sure why Frank wanted me to come over…” Those caramel eyes lifted instantly to my own at his realized utterance. “I mean, I’m happy to come over! You’re gorgeous and Frank talks loads about you, and I’ve wanted to meet you forever…God, I need to stop talking.” A small giggle passed my lips, making me once again drop my gaze from the penetrating ones before me.
The awkward silence that is expected to descend between such new acquaintances never made an appearance and I found myself talking quite animatedly to Gerard, a newfound confidence I hadn’t known I still possessed.
“So, how did you and Frank meet?” My eyes shot up at the question. Thus far, we had managed, for the most part, to stay away from any inquiring questions about Frank and my relationship.
“Um…a party, I guess was the first time…” Hastily, I wiped my palms across jean clad thighs, unsure why my mouth suddenly resembled sandpaper. It seemed my lame answer wasn’t enough to satisfy Gerard’s curiosity as he probed further.
“Yea, but I mean, how did you guys get together? You just went to the party and then poof, you were living together?” He giggled at the absurdity of the notion, leaning forwards in his chair, his head propped up by his hands, those caramel eyes intent on me, as I bit on my bottom lip, unsure how best to answer his question.
“No,” I forced a laugh past trembling lips, “of course not. Well, um, it was a few years ago and we started off as friends, really. I had a boyfriend at the time…” Closing my eyes momentarily, I tried to change the direction the conversation was heading in. “Anyways, um, Frank asked me out eventually. We dated for a couple of months and then I moved in.” I tried to make it as final sounding as possible, going so far as to get up from the couch, heading into the couch, eager to find anything that might quench the suffocating desert inhabited between my lips. Gerard immediately followed me.
Frantically grabbing a glass from the cabinet, I filled it with water, titling my head back to down the luke warm liquid, instantly regretting that I had not waited a moment more for it to chill. Lifting my eyes up to Gerard’s, I felt my breath catch in my throat; those hazel eyes, which had, moments before been filled with inquisitiveness and laughter, now radiated anger, fixed on my neck.
His voice was quiet when he finally found it, the anger barely concealed beneath the obviously forced calm. “Who did that Kaelin?” I knew he was referencing the purple fingerprints lining my neck; no doubt visible when I had drank the water. I could feel my hands shaking as I wrung them together before me, running one through my own pale hair, biting my lip to buy time, all the while giving him time to fester in the rage that was turning his pale face a shade of red that didn’t suit him at all.
“I uh, well, I fell, and -” His eyes darkened at my blatant lie, caramel hardening to chocolate.
“Did Frank do that? Don’t lie to me Kaelin.” I shook my head frantically, panic racing through my veins.
“No! No, of course not. No!” His eyes remained narrowed on me, seeming to see right through me, exposing all of my lies and I suddenly felt self conscious around him, every sense of comfort shattered like glass in that moment. “Sometimes, I don’t listen, and Frankie, he has to remind me, but he loves me, I know he does, he just hasn’t figured it out yet!” The familiar sting was biting at my eyelids once again, choking me as I struggled to make Gerard understand. “Frank saved me! He’s the only reason I’m still alive, sometimes I’m too hard on him though and he loses his temper. He never means to hurt me though, really he doesn’t!” Tepid tears were streaming from my cerulean eyes, their bitter salt burning the already overdosed flesh of my cheeks.
Something like pity, or maybe disgust laced its way into those hazel orbs, masking the anger that I knew still dwelled there. “Kaelin…it’s not alright if Frank hurts you. No matter what you think, you don’t deserve it. No one does.” Almost like a feather, his hand was on my shoulder, his fingers soft and smooth against my skin, a harsh contrast to the fingers I was used to. “You don’t have to put up with this, you can leave him. You should leave him.” I continued to shake my head, my eyes firmly clamped against the invasion of those caramel depths. “Kaelin, I’ll get you out of here, Frank will never know, you can be free of him forever.”
Shock and fear ripped through me, my eyes shooting open as I stumbled backwards, away from the angel of my dream. I needed to get away from here, from him; I knew what came next. Frantic, I scrambled out of the kitchen, panting as I reached the living room once again, Gerard hot on my trail, obviously confused at my erratic behaviour.
“Gerard, please leave.” Hurt traded with confusion at my words, his brows creased at my urge. “Please Gerard. Just leave.” He shook his head as if he wasn’t sure he was hearing me correctly.
“Why? I’m trying to save you.” Opening the front door, I ushered him outside, tears still streaking down my cheeks, my eyes burning from the never ending supply.
“I know. I don’t need to be saved Gerard. Goodbye.” Closing the door, I slid down, my back resting against the cool paint of the opposite wall as I buried my head in my hands.
-----
Whew me! Two chapters in two days!
I'm off to California tomorrow morning, so I'm not sure when the next update will be. Maybe if I get some good reviews (hint hint) I'll update early next week...
Cheers
Kat
P.S. Thanks to Smooshy for always commenting and all of your encouragement and advice. To mcr_over as well - I really do appreciate!
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