Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Like I Did Yesterday
I was too afraid to do anything, I really wanted to watch Gerard sleep. He looked so peaceful when I took a glimpse of him. His hair was all over the place, it was like he was someone else. I wanted to touch him, maybe touch his face just to see if his face was as smooth as it looked. He didn't look like the man he was, just an innocent boy right in front of me. It's scary to see that I portray him not as my step father but as my crush. Stupid me.
But that was all in a glimpse, imagine a stare. Which I was too afraid to do anything but pretend to sleep and just listen to his breathing and the little noises that he makes when he breathes out or shifts around. I was happy just lying here. I'm so pathetic.
It all soon ended when Gerard sat up and stretched with a yawn. I felt him look back at me then sliding off the bed, he exited the room. I sighed and opened my eyes. He's gone. I immediately missed his smell in the room, the smell of faint colonge and cigarettes mixed together. I put my head on the other end of the pillow where Gerard was and breathed in the smell. I soon let paranoia struck me and let loose all my emotions in one go. I didn't want all this to end. I didn't want Gerard to stop talking to me, or to do anything else. I didn't want him to leave me but then again I didn't want anything to go back to 'normal'.
I laid there in my bed for what seems like hours, just letting my mind wonder. I twirled my hair around my index finger, it somehow looked darker than before as if my natural highlights disappeared. Maybe because of the stress... if that was possible. I was too afraid to go downstairs to greet him and so I decided that he must be busy right now since I heard small clatter in the kitchen. I grabbed my ipod and listened to the songs that I can relate to. Yea, I get weird with music. I recently discovered that I can partly related to 'good enough' by Evanescence with the line "'cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough" which was true. Every time something was good I couldn't hold on to anything good enough for long. Maybe even the band that Gerard's in; My Chemical Romance with the song 'cubicles' who knew that song related to me of how I feel about Gerard. I giggled for a little.
Everything soon came to an end, I heard Gerard stomp upstairs. I didn't have time to hide under my blanket because I knew I looked so feral and messy. I let out a gasp when Gerard walked in. He immediately looked apologetic for some reason.
"Sorry, did I wake you? I didn't mean to wake you," he looked bashful too.
"Um," I let my jaw drop to the fact that nothing has changed yet and that Gerard was in front of me apologising for something so small. "No, no. I was already awake," I stuttered.
He was suddenly grinning. I had to get use to his sudden changes in mood. "Good! I made some french toast if you wanna come down," he pointed back to the kitchen.
"Okay..." I nodded.
"Okay," he gave me a tight smile and stood there for a moment before leaving my room.
Things have never been so awkward. I groaned massaged my temples. Why does it always happen like this? When you want something, something bad has to always come with it. I growled at myself and got out of bed to freshen up.
I slowly went downstairs trying to prepare myself for what might be about to happen. I hoped that I looked good with the black shorts and lime green shirt. Meh, who am I kidding? When I entered the kitchen Gerard immediately grinned and sat up. He gestured me to sit next to him with our french toasts in plates. I sat in the chair and felt self concious with Gerard grinning at me.
"Aren't you going to eat?" he asked.
"Umm, yea. I am," I tried to smile back and took a bite. "Wow, this is good," and I wasn't lying.
"I get compliments for the food that I make," he smiled proudly.
I chuckled.
After breakfast, we were sitting in the lounge room. I didn't know about him but I was definitely avoiding looking at him. I was afraid of the 'talk'. I heard him sigh and I looked up from curiousity.
"I'm sorry about everything Nicole," he looked sincere, his hazel eyes held full of regret. "Everything that a step father should of done, I'm sorry I was never there for you."
I nodded stiffly trying to hold my tears. I didn't know why I wanted to cry, was it because of him regretting the past of not being there for me or him seeing himself as a step father.
"I don't know how to else to say how sorry I am or what else to say."
"How about," I had the courage to ask something that I always wanted to ask for years. "Why have you been avoiding me ever since mum died?" I asked with only a tear running down my cheek.
For the first time in my life I stopped it at a what do they call it?
Cliff hanger!
Lol
Sorry I would have written more but I have to print some photos and sketch em for tomorrow's interview/portfolio for uni for art xD
Wish me luck eh
Review?
But that was all in a glimpse, imagine a stare. Which I was too afraid to do anything but pretend to sleep and just listen to his breathing and the little noises that he makes when he breathes out or shifts around. I was happy just lying here. I'm so pathetic.
It all soon ended when Gerard sat up and stretched with a yawn. I felt him look back at me then sliding off the bed, he exited the room. I sighed and opened my eyes. He's gone. I immediately missed his smell in the room, the smell of faint colonge and cigarettes mixed together. I put my head on the other end of the pillow where Gerard was and breathed in the smell. I soon let paranoia struck me and let loose all my emotions in one go. I didn't want all this to end. I didn't want Gerard to stop talking to me, or to do anything else. I didn't want him to leave me but then again I didn't want anything to go back to 'normal'.
I laid there in my bed for what seems like hours, just letting my mind wonder. I twirled my hair around my index finger, it somehow looked darker than before as if my natural highlights disappeared. Maybe because of the stress... if that was possible. I was too afraid to go downstairs to greet him and so I decided that he must be busy right now since I heard small clatter in the kitchen. I grabbed my ipod and listened to the songs that I can relate to. Yea, I get weird with music. I recently discovered that I can partly related to 'good enough' by Evanescence with the line "'cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough" which was true. Every time something was good I couldn't hold on to anything good enough for long. Maybe even the band that Gerard's in; My Chemical Romance with the song 'cubicles' who knew that song related to me of how I feel about Gerard. I giggled for a little.
Everything soon came to an end, I heard Gerard stomp upstairs. I didn't have time to hide under my blanket because I knew I looked so feral and messy. I let out a gasp when Gerard walked in. He immediately looked apologetic for some reason.
"Sorry, did I wake you? I didn't mean to wake you," he looked bashful too.
"Um," I let my jaw drop to the fact that nothing has changed yet and that Gerard was in front of me apologising for something so small. "No, no. I was already awake," I stuttered.
He was suddenly grinning. I had to get use to his sudden changes in mood. "Good! I made some french toast if you wanna come down," he pointed back to the kitchen.
"Okay..." I nodded.
"Okay," he gave me a tight smile and stood there for a moment before leaving my room.
Things have never been so awkward. I groaned massaged my temples. Why does it always happen like this? When you want something, something bad has to always come with it. I growled at myself and got out of bed to freshen up.
I slowly went downstairs trying to prepare myself for what might be about to happen. I hoped that I looked good with the black shorts and lime green shirt. Meh, who am I kidding? When I entered the kitchen Gerard immediately grinned and sat up. He gestured me to sit next to him with our french toasts in plates. I sat in the chair and felt self concious with Gerard grinning at me.
"Aren't you going to eat?" he asked.
"Umm, yea. I am," I tried to smile back and took a bite. "Wow, this is good," and I wasn't lying.
"I get compliments for the food that I make," he smiled proudly.
I chuckled.
After breakfast, we were sitting in the lounge room. I didn't know about him but I was definitely avoiding looking at him. I was afraid of the 'talk'. I heard him sigh and I looked up from curiousity.
"I'm sorry about everything Nicole," he looked sincere, his hazel eyes held full of regret. "Everything that a step father should of done, I'm sorry I was never there for you."
I nodded stiffly trying to hold my tears. I didn't know why I wanted to cry, was it because of him regretting the past of not being there for me or him seeing himself as a step father.
"I don't know how to else to say how sorry I am or what else to say."
"How about," I had the courage to ask something that I always wanted to ask for years. "Why have you been avoiding me ever since mum died?" I asked with only a tear running down my cheek.
For the first time in my life I stopped it at a what do they call it?
Cliff hanger!
Lol
Sorry I would have written more but I have to print some photos and sketch em for tomorrow's interview/portfolio for uni for art xD
Wish me luck eh
Review?
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