FicWad

For a moment it was dead silence as I waited for Gerard to say something. I fiddled with my fingers so I can be distracted of this situation, it only worked for a moment. I gave up and took a risk and looked up at him.
He looked like he was fighting the urge of saying something, well at least to me. He was sitting ever so still and him making no sound was killing me.
Oh Nicole, you ruined it! I stood up abrubtly and made my way out of the lounge room.
"No, please... stay," he almost whispered behind me.
I stood there with my mind arguing if I should stay or not. I finally sighed and went back to sit down; the leather sofa under me squeaked.
"Remember..." his eyes searched the floor. He was too afraid to look at me horrid face, "when you were younger, I use to always say you looked just like your mother?"
"Look Gerard! Look at my pretty dress!" I span around.
"Nicole, you look so beautiful honey," Gerard smiled at me. "Just like your mother."
I giggled, "No! My mum is much more pretty!"
"Never, you are prettier," he kissed my cheek.
Those were happy times. I fiddled with my fingers again, "Yes."
"Well you were even though you kept denying it and when... she died, the memory she left was you. I just kept ignoring you because I just couldn't deal with her being dead," he rubbed his hand together and stared at them. "And I was scared that I might lose my mind if I looked at you and think that you are your mother... not Nicole."
That just suddenly did it. I stood up in anger, "That's it! I'm Nicole not Kerri-Anne!" I took a step closer to him. "My mother is dead Gerard, get it in your thick skull!" I sobbed and fell to my knees. I looked up at his concerned face, "I wish I was my mother so you could love me like you did. I wish I wasn't this stupid step daughter of yours that have a stupid crush on you."
His eyes were wide open in shock of my disgusting, horrid confession. Again he stood still with his jaw hung open.
I hated that sight, I knew I ruined everything once again. I sobbed a little louder and stood up and left the room. My bedroom was the perfect place at the moment where I can let my emotions loose.


I should of died. I should of died like how Gerard's baby died. I don't deserve to live here in this stupid god forsaken world. I don't deserve him, that's why we have that huge age difference, because I'm not supposed to be with him.
I bit my arm just to experience pain and kept crying for so long.
You don't deserve anyone.
I froze when my door knocked. I started to hyperventilate. Please not Gerard, please not him!
"Nicole? Can I come in?"
It was him.
I started to breathe rapidly as I sat up and tried to fix my image. "No!" I yelled out; too afraid to say anything else. "I don't know," I said quietly.
"Well, I'm opening the door."
I shrugged even though he couldn't see.
The door opened revealing a messed up looking Gerard. He rubbed his eyes and sat next to me. He gazed afar and didn't say anything other than that.
I did the same and just enjoyed the awkward silence because I wasn't ready to hear what he got to say. I knew what he was gonna say and I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want my hopes to be shattered.





I tried updating last night and I accidentally deleted it lol
How gay.
Sorry for making it too emo... I was emo at the time lol
For some pathetic reason
Anyway
I think its short
So if it shit just review saying 'shit' I swear its that easy!
Like omg!!! in that american bimbo accent
Lol


Review?