(#) thegreyone 2009-05-15I love this story, chapters 1 through 6 (so far). I see it as a great variation from norm, and a future career in having Harry learn wand construction.
I fully support the bashing of Dumbledore and the Weasel clan, first, I see Dumbeldore as worse than Harry's relatives because he was aware of the abuse and even encouraged it, though unproven. Yes, this story does not say much of D's restrictions that were applied to Harry's magic.
Perhaps Dumbledore could be forced to go back and clean up the bad guys that he left loose after the first war, then moldyshorts would have a much smaller selection of killer thugs, thus fulfilling a suggestion earlier that the english clean up their own mess.
Perhaps Harry and his girls could learn to Pop from Dobby, to extend their travel abilities. Maybe even include mental communication between the husband/wives.
- i have to agree with thegreyone, at least in parts.
personally i cant see dumb-as-a-door willing to clean up his mess, or help others in that aspect.
if i remember correctly, its even mentioned in canon that dumb and grindelwald were friends and had a common theory, but grindelwald chose the path of violence, which caused the break up.
so cleaning up would mean punishing purebloods, which goes against dumbs worldview, and he'll have none of that as long as (im)possible.
as i said at the beginning, for the rest i agree with thegreyone, but adding to that:
FINALLY SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HIS ENGLISH
(and no, my native language is german, but the butchering of the english language in FF hurts, and i believe i'm not the only one who quits reading a story because of an error-induced headache)
(#) Terdwilicker 2009-05-23This story was interesting. For one, you opted to position HP into SW France, along the Bay of Biscay, instead of going with the Cliche French Mansion nonsense. You also opted for wand crafting as his special skill, which has little written about it and made the story more interesting. Considering WHERE HP is now, your next story might involve the Basques (who have been living in SW France and Northern Spain for at least 5000 years and hold the oldest Republic on earth, which would imply a truly interesting and INTEGRATED mugggle-magical ministry, as well as experience dealing with terrorists during the 70's and 80's (ETA) like Voldemort. It would provide HP with some perspective on transitioning into peacetime, which the Basques have mostly done. And that's not even touching on their food, their colony in the rural Western USA, and continuing into your theme that "everyone else is more rational than the British". So if you do continue this, I hope some of these ideas take root.
- An interesting start with even more interesting idea's to follow. I always do love stories that put a little more effort into wand making then just stuffing random things in a stick and having people try them until something 'clicks'.
I do feel about half way through though the story went down hill a little bit in the 'solve every problem' trend far to many stories suffer from. Remus and Tonks are a happy couple just dying get married.. despite having next nothing in common and honestly no reason for the relationship work in long term. Playing on memory charms, drugged lemon drops etc to excuse the actions of many people in england another thing could of done with out.
Over all I just felt like the focus of the story went away from Harry and his life.. to almost everyone but him, really started with hermonie and her family but by chapter 5 or 6 it expanded to Remus, Tonks, Sirius and who ever. It's an over done trend that I dislike that if Harry gets a girl and is happily together with her.. suddenly everyone has to have a girlfriend, get married and have all their life problems solved.
Sign up to review this story.