Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Jamais Vu

I Love College

by killxsmile 4 reviews

"Don't pass out with your shoes on and don't leave the house 'til the booze gone."

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor,Romance - Published: 2009-07-27 - Updated: 2009-07-27 - 1495 words

Author's Note: You're all spectacular. Fo' real. Toldja reviews = updates.

somethingorother: Yep. Jack is finally making his way into the story.

The "don't date a friend's ex" rule applies here because even though Alex & Andy weren't in a "healthy" relationship, they went out on and off for a year.

tryingtohard_x: I don't want to give anything away, but Alex will put his 2 cents in eventually.

F-A-S-D: Haha. Yes. Andy is incredibly dense.

ash360: lol. Clash of the Titans part 2. Not sure if that's gonna happen, but it would be quite funny if it did.


“Oh God…” was my first response to sunlight in the morning.

My head felt like it was in a vice, my mouth tasted like shit, and I had no idea where I was. Looking around, I soon realized that I was still at Justine’s house because the walls were painted electric blue. I also realized that I wasn’t alone in bed. A boy (or a very skinny girl) was lying with his (or her) back to me with his (or her) head buried underneath a pillow.

We were both fully clothed, so I had no worries there. Still, I was curious about who I’d spent the night with.

“Hey, wake up,” I said, poking at the sleeping figure’s side.

“Mmnm. What?”

Though it was muffled, the voice was distinctly male.

“Who are you and what happened last night?” I asked.

He removed the pillow from his face and turned around to face me. I instantly recognized him as Jack Barakat.

“I’m God’s gift to women,” he said yawning. “And last night we drank like nobody’s business.”

“I know that much, but how did we end up in bed together?”

“I have no idea. The last thing I remember was playing quarters in the basement.”

“Same here. And I was winning,” I smirked.

“No, I’m pretty sure I was in the lead.”

“Yeah right,” I said, swinging my feet off the side of the bed. “Everybody and they’re mom knows that you suck at quarters. I, on the other hand, am the fucking queen of that game.”

“Whatever,” he yawned.

I chuckled, then slowly got up and stretched.

“Where are you going?” Jack asked, looking up at me.

“Getting some aspirin out of my purse,” I replied, picking my red bag off the floor.

I quickly grabbed the small bottle of pills and poured out two tablets. Too lazy to get a glass of water, I just swallowed them dry. After closing the bottle, I tossed it over to Jack.


He quickly took two tablets for himself then handed the bottle back to me.

While he plopped back into bed, facefirst into the pillow, I searched the room for my shoes. They weren't in the corner. They weren't under the bed. They weren't underneath the mysterious pile of clothes in the corner. So there I stood, in the middle of the room with my hands on my hips, hungover and shoeless.

"What are you looking for?"

"My ballet flats. I can't find them anywhere."

"Can't you just get a new pair?" he asked, sitting up.

"I could. But that would involve leaving this house barefoot then spending money on a new pair when I have perfectly good ones somewhere in this house."

"Good point. I don’t see mine anywhere in this room, so we should probably look for them."

With that, he got up. And so began our epic journey.

First we went to the bathroom. There, we only found Jamie Anderson passed out on the floor, beer still in hand. I took a Sharpie out of my bag and started drawing on her face.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked.

"She passed out with her shoes on."


"I can't tell you what I learned from school, but I could tell you a story or two. Um yeah, of course I learned some rules, like don't pass out with your shoes on and don't leave the house 'til the booze gone—"

"And don't have sex is she's too gone. When it comes to condoms, put two on. Then tomorrow night find a new jawn," he continued, catching my drift. "I gotcha. Asher Roth is a fucking genius."

“I know.”

After I finished the curly-ended mustache I'd started, Jack took the marker from me and drew a penis on her cheek. Then just as he started drawing a smiley face on her other cheek, she started moving. We took this as our cue to leave.

We were going to search the other bedrooms, but they were locked. That was probably a good thing, though, because we were more likely to find naked people than shoes.

Downstairs in the living room, empty boxes of pizza and empty bottles of liquor littered the floor, but our shoes were still nowhere to be found. The basement held nothing but sleeping teenagers. And sadly, they had their shoes on.

Deciding to take a break from our quest, Jack and I went to the kitchen for some food. While he raided the cupboards, I went straight for the refrigerator. And there they were, sitting next to the head of lettuce and the gallon of milk. I'd finally found my flats.

"Found our shoes!" I yelled.


"Yeah," I said, pulling the Nikes out of the vegetable crisper."

"Woah, how the hell did that happen?"

"No idea," I said, slipping my flats on.

"Anything edible in there?" he asked, closing the last of the cabinet doors.

"Just lettuce, milk, and carrot sticks. "You find anything?"

"Nope," he replied, putting on his shoes.

Then as if on cue, my stomach grumbled.

"I guess I'm going out for breakfast…" I reached for my keys, but hazy memories from the previous night prevented me from taking them out.

"Hey, Andy. Me and MJ are leaving. You need a ride?" Kenny asked as music blared in the background.

"Nah, I think I'm gonna stick around for a little bit. Me and Jim here are having a good time."

"My name's not Jim. It's actually—"

"Whatever," I said, cutting him off.

I found that ironic since I can't remember who "not Jim" was.

"I don't feel like going home just yet."

"You sure?" MJ asked.

"Mmhmm," I nodded.


"What's wrong?"

"I got a ride from Kenny last night, and he left with MJ."

"Well, I can drive you home, but I'm fucking starving, so we'll need to go out for breakfast first."

"That's fine by me. I'm hungry, too."

"Alright, then follow me."

Once again, we tiptoed around the people passed out in the living room, then made our way outside. In my post-party state, my eyes were still allergic to direct sunlight, so I quickly slipped on a pair of aviators before proceeding past the driveway.

We had to walk for a bit in order to reach his car because he had parked around the corner. Neither of us knew how to break the awkward silence that loomed over us as we walked, so the only sounds between us were those of our shoes against the concrete.

In the year or so that I had dated Alex, you'd think I would know something about Jack. After all, the two of them were practically joined at the hip. There were even a couple of times that Jack had the unfortunate experience of being our third wheel. But alas, there are only three bits of information I knew about Jack:

1) He's Alex's other half.
2) He loves drinking, even though he's a lightweight (literally and figuratively).
3) He plays guitar in a band with Alex.

After what seemed like an eternity, we reached the beat up Toyota. He quickly got into the driver’s side, then due to lack of power locks, leaned over and unlocked my door manually.

I buckled my seatbelt and prepared myself for an uncomfortable silence. Luckily, Jack turned on the radio before my prediction could manifest itself.

Coincidentally, Asher Roth’s voice came through the speakers.

Time isn't wasted when you're getting wasted.
Woke up today and all I could say is
That party last night was awfully crazy, I wish we taped it.
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked.
Drink my beer and smoke my weed,
But my good friends is all I need
Pass out at 3. Wake up at 10.
Go out to eat, then do it again.
Man, I love college.

“I guess this is our song,” he said, keeping his eyes on the road.

Chuckling, I shook my head and turned my attention to the window. It took me a good five minutes to realize that I had no idea where the super skinny guitarist was taking me.

“Hey, Jack?”


“Where are we going?”

Where are they going for breakfast?
What will happen when they get there?

RATE & REVIEW to find out.
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