Categories > Books > Harry Potter > MY BUNNY HUTCH
SNARKIUS GITTUS
Alorkin
Disclaimer 1: Everything you recognize belongs to JKR and her friends. Every thing you don’t…probably belongs to her as well. Le sigh!
Disclaimer 2: This story is so NOT HBP compliant! That...book...never happened. Nope! Thbbbbbttttt! I'm in the state of Denial. It's a lovely state. Lotsa pretty scenery. I can draw you a map if you want. Anyone got a crayon?
A/N: I wish to thank my sister, FireLemming, for her beta work. She doesn’t even follow the Harry Potter fandom, preferring TLK, and yet, will take time to offer much needed (and often unappreciated) critical advice.
“Can you not understand the simplest of instructions, mister Longbottom? Did I not clearly tell you that this solution must be blood warm? Do you even know what blood warm is? If it is too cold the spores do nothing. They just wait. If it is too hot, they die. You are boiling them!” Snape turned from Neville to Harry, whose yeast culture had formed perfectly.
Potter! Your solution is no better. I specifically told you to look for the blooms. Those are not blooms, you incompetent fool! Those are clumps! Evenesco! Another zero for you, I suppose. Miss Granger, your solution is barely acceptable. You may now mix in the ground triticale meal.
Snape turned with his usual flair and strode to the front of the class.
“You will all stir in the powered triticale. Stir it in a clockwise direction and using the wooden implements. No metal! Once it has become a thick slurry, you will add in eight ounces of triticale meal at a time, stirring all the while until the culture is a heavy, sticky paste. Turn it from the cauldrons onto the tabletops and knead in another eight ounces. When you’ve done that you may begin to knead the mixture for ten minutes, adding a bit of triticale as you need to keep it from sticking to your hands. If you have done your jobs properly, something I highly doubt you are capable of, it should be soft and pliable, but able to stand on it’s own. You are to form the mixture into an oblate spheroid and place it into the covered lubricated crocks."
Ten minutes later, the class was ready. Each had mixed in the powdered triticale and their samples were rounded and ready for the long overnight growth.
Snape returned to torment Harry, Ron and Neville.
“Weasley, you have used too much! Ten points from Gryffindor, for your appalling lack of intelligence. Potter! Have you even tried to proof another sample of the spores?”
“Yes, Professor.” Harry replied. Then smirking, insolently, he added: “I knew you would find or invent a reason to destroy my first effort, so I made two at the same time. Both were identical. Both have proved themselves. Either you have no idea how to do this, or you have destroyed a perfectly good sample for pure spite. My suspicion is the latter.”
Snape turned puce. Not a good color on him.
“You impudent whelp! Fifty points from Gryffindor, for your insufferable insolence!”
“No problem, professor…” Harry sneered back. “Of course, I will contest your points removal from me and all my housemates, given that you are taking them just to ensure Slytherin wins the house cup!”
“How DARE you!?!” Snape leaped forward and grabbed Harry’s collar, yanking him from his seat. He dragged him from the classroom shouting: “Place your samples on the warming racks! I expect each of you to return here tonight to check and adjust your efforts!” To Harry, he snarled: “You’ve gone too far, this time, Potter. I’ll see you expelled, if it is the very last thing I do!”
In the classroom, the rest of the class set their formed loaves on the rising racks. Ron turned to Neville. “I hate taking Home Economics with Snape!”
Alorkin
Disclaimer 1: Everything you recognize belongs to JKR and her friends. Every thing you don’t…probably belongs to her as well. Le sigh!
Disclaimer 2: This story is so NOT HBP compliant! That...book...never happened. Nope! Thbbbbbttttt! I'm in the state of Denial. It's a lovely state. Lotsa pretty scenery. I can draw you a map if you want. Anyone got a crayon?
A/N: I wish to thank my sister, FireLemming, for her beta work. She doesn’t even follow the Harry Potter fandom, preferring TLK, and yet, will take time to offer much needed (and often unappreciated) critical advice.
“Can you not understand the simplest of instructions, mister Longbottom? Did I not clearly tell you that this solution must be blood warm? Do you even know what blood warm is? If it is too cold the spores do nothing. They just wait. If it is too hot, they die. You are boiling them!” Snape turned from Neville to Harry, whose yeast culture had formed perfectly.
Potter! Your solution is no better. I specifically told you to look for the blooms. Those are not blooms, you incompetent fool! Those are clumps! Evenesco! Another zero for you, I suppose. Miss Granger, your solution is barely acceptable. You may now mix in the ground triticale meal.
Snape turned with his usual flair and strode to the front of the class.
“You will all stir in the powered triticale. Stir it in a clockwise direction and using the wooden implements. No metal! Once it has become a thick slurry, you will add in eight ounces of triticale meal at a time, stirring all the while until the culture is a heavy, sticky paste. Turn it from the cauldrons onto the tabletops and knead in another eight ounces. When you’ve done that you may begin to knead the mixture for ten minutes, adding a bit of triticale as you need to keep it from sticking to your hands. If you have done your jobs properly, something I highly doubt you are capable of, it should be soft and pliable, but able to stand on it’s own. You are to form the mixture into an oblate spheroid and place it into the covered lubricated crocks."
Ten minutes later, the class was ready. Each had mixed in the powdered triticale and their samples were rounded and ready for the long overnight growth.
Snape returned to torment Harry, Ron and Neville.
“Weasley, you have used too much! Ten points from Gryffindor, for your appalling lack of intelligence. Potter! Have you even tried to proof another sample of the spores?”
“Yes, Professor.” Harry replied. Then smirking, insolently, he added: “I knew you would find or invent a reason to destroy my first effort, so I made two at the same time. Both were identical. Both have proved themselves. Either you have no idea how to do this, or you have destroyed a perfectly good sample for pure spite. My suspicion is the latter.”
Snape turned puce. Not a good color on him.
“You impudent whelp! Fifty points from Gryffindor, for your insufferable insolence!”
“No problem, professor…” Harry sneered back. “Of course, I will contest your points removal from me and all my housemates, given that you are taking them just to ensure Slytherin wins the house cup!”
“How DARE you!?!” Snape leaped forward and grabbed Harry’s collar, yanking him from his seat. He dragged him from the classroom shouting: “Place your samples on the warming racks! I expect each of you to return here tonight to check and adjust your efforts!” To Harry, he snarled: “You’ve gone too far, this time, Potter. I’ll see you expelled, if it is the very last thing I do!”
In the classroom, the rest of the class set their formed loaves on the rising racks. Ron turned to Neville. “I hate taking Home Economics with Snape!”
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