FicWad

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related concepts are owned by someone who isn't me. I will never seek or accept money for the circulation of this work.

The Missing Acknowledgement: A Major plot detail and source of inspiration for this entire tale is drawn from jbern's 'The Lie I've Lived'. It is a 'Goblet of Fire'-replacement story based on the idea that exposure to Dementors at the end of 'Prisoner of Azkaban' caused James Potters' spirit and memories to surface and merge with Harry's. As of Chapter 30 of this story, I can now express my gratitude for the concept to explain why Harry would become Holly in the first place (though I added the challenge of Lily's memories not coming along for the ride, creating a true third personality). If you haven't read the story, do so now. It is magnificent. It's also somewhat Hermione-friendly; I mention that as many Harry/[not-Hermione] stories will dumb her down enough to date Ron or change her into a rule-fanatical harpy. Anyway, jbern is cool and so is his writing. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3384712/1/The_Lie_Ive_Lived

Holly Evans and the Spiral Path
Chapter 32: Hopscotch


Transcription: Interrogation of captured interloper. 23rd May, 1994 starting 10:08 PM GST
Severus Snape is bound to a chair, unconscious. His robe has been set aside and his sleeves are cut open, exposing the faded skull and snake tattoo of a Death Eater on his left forearm. Callisto finishes painting Snape's lips blue with something from a small bottle and returns the capped container to her pocket. Rook sits in front of the captive in another desk chair and casts a spell onto the professor, while Callisto moves silently to stand behind him with wand out and ready. The spell's effect takes hold and Snape carefully lifts his head.
Rook: "Welcome back to the waking world. I think the blindfold will keep your Legilimency down to a minimum."
Snape: (imperious and demanding) "Where am I?! Show yourselves! I see you're too cowardly to come out from hiding..."
Rook: "Severus, please calm down. It's just me here."
Snape: "DON'T call me that, Evans. Show respect to your betters. I am your professor; address me as such."
Rook: "At the moment, you are neither my professor nor my better. I am not a student but I am your captor. Whether you live out the night is entirely my decision."
Snape: "Don't be ridiculous! You haven't the wherewithal to..."
Rook cuts off his rant angrily.
Rook: "Take a life? Did you forget why I've been absent from your classes? Perhaps you thought I merely took ill. Tell me, do I sound like I'm playing with you? Do I sound like my will has been destroyed by three months of constant unprotected exposure to Dementor haunting? Do I sound like a child?"
Snape remains silent.
Rook: "Your silence speaks volumes. I'd like to point out a few things so that we can set the tone for the rest of this discussion. You are not dead. You are not waking up with no memory of anything past dinnertime. You are not being tortured, sexually abused or fed to a werewolf. You aren't even under the influence of the Veritaserum I have once again retrieved from your pockets. Show as much courtesy as I've shown you and don't assume you even know what's going on."
Snape replies calmly but with venom in his voice.
Snape: "What do you want of me?"
Rook: "I would like you to listen to what I have to say, answer my questions truthfully and I will do the same. By the end of the conversation, I hope to have manufactured some sort of accord."
Snape: "And if you are unsuccessful?"
Rook: "I still have the Veritaserum, a wand and a blade. I don't want to kill you, but if you force the issue I'll make sure your remains are discovered during Hagrid's next visit to the Acromantula colony. No one knows you went out tonight following Professor Lupin, so I'd say my legal status is still well-protected."
Snape: "I... agree."
Rook: "Well, yeah- that was a foregone conclusion. We'll see how close to truthful about it that you actually get. First question: what were you going to do with Hermione and me, assuming you were able to capture us and Sirius Black?"
Snape: "So it was Black with you!"
Rook: "No, we were planning a celebratory orgy for my return to freedom. If you were more attractive and pleasant I might have even included you, but you went all wand-happy and ruined our fun. Now we have to wait until the weekend for Remus to recover from the full moon. Answer the damned question!"
Callisto is forcing down a giggle with all her might. She gives Rook a 'thumbs-up'.
Snape: "Depending on your level of involvement with Lupin aiding Black, I would have pushed for Granger's expulsion and for the Headmaster to refuse your readmittance."
Rook: "What have you got against me or Hermione? For once you have Gryffindors treating Potions as an art and you want us gone?"
Snape: "It... isn't safe with you here. You should withdraw and go to Beauxbatons or Salem. Stop ruining the lives of my Slytherins. You freak."
Rook: "Yah, it's a little harder to play with your opponents' emotions when you can't see their reaction. Next question: why do you think Professor Lupin is helping Sirius Black?"
Snape: "They were close friends during their schooling here and often conspired to make mischief. Lupin is a werewolf; a Dark creature. Of course he would ally with one of the Dark Lord's supporters to aid in his quest."
Rook: "And that quest would be?"
Snape: "Finding and killing your brother Harry Potter, the one who defeated his master."
Rook: "And they haven't been successful because..."
Snape: "Potter isn't here, praise Merlin."
Rook: "Why would they continue to try sneaking Black into the castle then?"
Snape: "I never said they were intelligent."
Rook: "Cute. Bogus story, but cute. You're still treating me like I'm a child. Let me..."
Snape: "You ARE a child, playing at games with dangerous weapons! For Merlin's sake, Evans! Release me and end this charade and I will ask the headmaster to be lenient with you!"
Rook: "Y'know, I think I clocked you too hard. You're acting like a pulp novel villain. Let me lay this out for you..."
Snape: "Release me! I demand that..."
Rook reaches forward to touch Snape's forehead and cruelly whispers an incantation.
Rook: "Crucio."
Snape is thrown into fits in the bound chair for several seconds. Callisto gives Rook an angry look, but Rook is concentrating on Snape.
Rook: "Wandless. No trace. Don't speak again until I tell you to."
Snape's heavy breathing almost drowns out his acknowledgement.
Snape: "F-fine."
Rook: "In case you're wondering where I get my anger and hatred for you, I've been admiring your tattoo. The Dark Mark, is it not? Please understand, there is very little holding me back from ending you brutally, other than my desire to live in peace. If Sirius Black was one of the Dark Lord's supporters, I would think you would be helping him more readily than Professor Lupin, who despite his classification is a very gentle soul. Yet instead you're hoping to capture Black and get rid of Lupin."
Snape: "I turned against the Dark Lord, at the risk of my life to help the Headmaster end the war."
Rook: "Thrilling. I'm sure that decision like so many of your others was based upon a noble impulse you couldn't deny. You're a consummate player, sir. I have no doubt that you saw something that led you to believe Riddle was going to lose and found a way to ensure your survival beyond his defeat. In a similar vein, you followed Lupin because catching him and Black together could enable you to take revenge on your schooltime rivals and maybe earn you some public accolades. The problem is that you have an unbalanced sense of justice. Lupin never did you any wrong except to share your warm feelings for my mother. If you had wanted to torture Lupin you could have just weakened his potion, but your sense of honour in your craft or something prevented that option, so obviously vengeance against him wasn't that important to you. Black was an arse but he's been unjustly tortured for twelve years in Azkaban. Peter Pettigrew, also known as Wormtail, who you KNEW was a Death Eater as you attended the same rape and murder revels, is yet alive and he's the reason the Potters are dead, not Sirius Black! You also knew Black had nothing to do with their fall and yet you think he's owed some retribution for pranking you almost two decades ago? Grow up! I had very carefully planned a method of retrieving Black from his siege of the castle, not knowing that he was doing so in an attempt to capture Wormtail and exact some vengeance of his own. Because of your interference Wormtail has escaped, so Black remains on the run. I hit you because you fouled up my operation and pulled a wand on me. Is any of this unclear?"
Snape: "You are deluded if you think I could have loved that filthy mud..."
Rook shoots her hand forward to grab Severus' forehead, causing him to cease speaking.
Rook: "Seconds from true torture, it must have just dawned on you that your bluster is meaningless to me. Think quietly for twelve seconds, and then respond to my question: is anything that I said not possibly true?"
Snape sits, his furious sneer fading as his mind turns over the meaning of the previous interchange. Snape then speaks with a carefully-restrained defensive anger.
Snape: "I was not aware that Pettigrew was Wormtail, or of his involvement with the Dark Lord. Very few knew all of the members of his Marked followers, as a protection in case of capture. For the same reason, I had no conclusive evidence to say Black wasn't also a Death Eater, though it seemed highly unlikely. How is it that you know so much of these things?"
Rook: "I have access to my mother's journals. It is only because she spoke highly of you in your early years that the 'feed you to the spiders' option has been tabled... for the moment. As a Death Eater, why are you not in Azkaban?"
Snape: "My participation as a spy for the Headmaster afforded me some protection from judgment. I had informed him that the Dark Lord intended to kill the Potters, among other things."
Rook: "Well played. I'd like to remind you of a few things before you start planning your revenge on me. My mum died anyway, so you didn't do us any favours. As a Death Eater, you have raped and killed at least one person, and I doubt you rose in Riddle's esteem by showing restraint. Even assuming you have set yourself onto some path for redemption, you are directly responsible for the coddling of Slytherins that allowed Penelope Clearwater to be gang-raped right under the noses of the Hogwarts staff. Even after that crime was revealed to you, they were allowed to fester unchallenged while physically and sexually abusing Pansy Parkinson until Hermione was almost their next victim in trying to save her. Instead, I fell into their ambush and was... flogged until naked and nearly raped to death. You are one sad confession of another broken girl away from becoming spider-food. Everything I've done to you so far doesn't come close to evening the scales against you. Tell me, why should I let you live?"
Snape: "Because each soul you take lessens you. Soon you won't be anything but a shadow of the Dark Lord and will faithfully join his cause, working for the murderer of your parents simply because he can feed your Dark appetites. Let me live, and you will have deterred that fate, for a time. I am NOT your true enemy."
Rook stands from the chair to rage at the bound Potions-master.
Rook: "You haven't proven that, and I doubt my soul could shrivel so easily as yours did! You may have aided me in the past, but I would guess that whatever consideration you had for me is long gone! I'm willing to send you to the gallows but I'm actually looking for a reason not to! Is there anything you have to convince me? Is there anything you can offer me, given our history?! Why should I let you live?!"
As Rook's tirade winds up, Snape's expression falls, his mind catching up with the details of their interchange.
Snape: "Miss Evans... I... apologise."
Rook steps back in surprise.
Rook: "Really?"
Snape: "I have many... reasons to treat the students as I do, but you are correct. Your assault, Clearwater's abuse and Flint's death are on my hands. I am... sorry. I would have spared you that fate if I could. Yet the past is immutable."
Rook: "At least after a brief waiting period. Nonetheless, you owe me! Here's where you can start to redeem yourself. I would not presume to guess what plots and games need to be played to run Slytherin House, but you will change the rules so that assault, sexual or otherwise, is off the board. Blame the Headmaster's scrutiny or blame my return; you make sure they understand that the rules have changed. I hear one whiff of a return to the 'old ways' and both they and you will stop waking up in the morning. Second part; we'll be working to bring Sirius back into society and clear his name. Don't get in our way."
Snape: "Then may I offer this olive branch. You will fail. Don't even make the attempt."
Rook: "Thank you for the vote of confidence."
Snape: "Allow me to explain. Even if you were to produce Pettigrew alive and have Black turn himself in to receive a fair hearing, you won't get it. Fudge's Ministry would fall if he had to bear the brunt of that scandal, not to mention the reparations owed to an unjustly imprisoned nobleman. Therefore, neither of them would be allowed to survive to appear for collection of testimony. Even the Headmaster has more reason to prevent than assist such a balancing of the books. And you don't actually have Pettigrew."
Rook: "Assuming you have my interests in mind, what would you suggest?"
Callisto gives Rook an incredulous look of concern. Rook waves her off.
Snape: "Move Black away from England. Keep him far from the Ministry's reach, but have him sighted by a reliable source so that the pressure on Fudge's administration to catch the only... known escapee of Azkaban will be lessened. As soon as Black is sighted elsewhere, the Dementors will be removed from around the school. Something I think we all desire, yes?"
Rook: "Why would the Headmaster not want to see Sirius recover his position?"
Snape sits in silence.
Rook: "So close to a commuted sentence, yet so far. Is this secret worth dying for?"
Snape's expression turns sour.
Snape: "The headmaster would likely appreciate Black's allegiance, but Dumbledore cannot guarantee that he'll receive it. Black would interfere with his protections on young Potter, as his restored good name and fortune would compel the Ministry to reassign Potter's welfare to the care of his... godfather. If you keep Black away from the Headmaster, he will retain his freedom and possibly his fortune. Nothing short of a miracle or a pile of corpses will allow him to rejoin society in Britain."
Rook: "Congratulations. You're on probation. I suppose your plan also keeps Black far away from you."
Snape: "It has many merits. What makes you think I won't seek revenge on you for your crimes; using the Cruciatus on me, for instance?"
Rook: "Because I didn't. You're under the influence of Lethe's Discordia. It makes you highly suggestible, where your memories fill in the effects of what you are told is happening to you. You must have some strong memories of suffering under the Cruciatus. It's the same reason that you think you're blindfolded."
Snape blinks several times, realising that he can see clearly now. His face shifts first from astonishment to a conciliatory nod of appreciation. Rook nods back.
Rook: "By the way, thanks for the Firebolt."
Snape: "It was the least I could do, knowing your Quidditch career had ended."
Rook: "It seems an expensive way to tease a girl."
Snape: "I felt you had been shortchanged in the recovery of the Basilisk's remains. That book is closed."
Rook: "Agreed."
Snape: "Miss Evans? Lethe's Discordia- you brewed it yourself? I believe you'll find you've already passed your potions practical exam."
Rook: "Outstanding?"
Snape: "Exceeds Expectations, barely- I have a reputation to uphold. This should also keep you from my classroom until the end of term, for the safety of all."
Rook raises her wand and silently releases the bindings holding Snape in the chair. Snape moves his limbs tenderly, testing for blood flow.
Snape: "My wand?"
Rook starts to walk towards the door to the classroom, followed by Callisto who surprises Snape as she passes him with an easy grace.
Callisto: "I made it into one of the potions rods in your desk. Can't remember which. 'Night, Professor!"
Rook and Callisto leave. As the door closes, Sketcher notices the Professor slump in the chair with a sigh.
Callisto: "I can understand letting him live, sorta. But why no vows or oaths?"
Rook: "That man is Marked by Riddle but kept his betrayal hidden right under his Dark Lord's nose. Do you honestly think I can get him to abide by any vow, short of an Unbreakable?"
Callisto: "I woulda stood as the Binder..."
Rook: "We had him tied up and dosed. I don't think the 'of his free will' portion of the vow would apply under those circumstances. He'd be insulted as well, and revenge-minded. Instead, he's been treated better than he and I both know he deserves. He may actually work to live up to that treatment."
Callisto: "Well, good luck with that. Can you believe that greasy git wouldn't take me for his NEWT potions class? I've a right gift for brewing and he showed me the door."
Rook: "Probably to protect his lab. Aren't NEWT potions typically volatile?"
Callisto: "Coward. Even my NEWT examiner praised my work, said she was particularly impressed as I learnt it on independent study. Woulda got an EE too, if'n her eyebrows weren't so flammable."
Rook: "Talia, I need you to take Sirius to the Madhouse and keep him there."
Callisto: "Well, alright for tonight but I need to be back here tomorrow and we still don't know about Madame Bones."
Rook: "Doesn't matter. Sirius will be fine in Godric's Hollow stuck in a basement. Moreso than he would be anywhere in Scotland, much less here."
Transcription ends.

Agent M,
I was approaching your office when Moony caught up with me carrying the Map and warned that Albus was in there with you. I decided to get some sleep instead, but we sent Sketcher in to catch part of your discussion. I hope you'll excuse the impropriety. Nicely played, Mum.

Transcription: surveillance of rival agents in negotiations. 23rd May, 1994 starting 11:10 PM GST
Sketcher sneaks into Agent M's office beneath a crack in the door, finding an optimal position for observation wrapped around the handle of Rook's racing broom, leaning in a corner. Agent M is quietly correcting exam papers at her desk as Albus Dumbledore slowly paces the room.
Albus: "Minerva, I know that Miss Evans is somewhere in the castle and I expect that she will be visiting you here soon, or you wouldn't still be in your office at such a late hour."
Agent M: "Well, Albus, I should hope that you would be gratified that Miss Evans is in the castle after you so insultingly suggested that my home was insufficient protection from Dark agents that would seek to harm her. As to why I'm keeping such late hours, I've had to take time away from my other duties to handle Holly's release. I wouldn't want the students to suffer without my guidance in their lessons for too long."
Albus: "Minerva, where is Miss Evans?"
Agent M: "I can't say. Even if she should be visiting my office at this late hour, I would send her immediately to bed as she's barely been free from that awful prison a day and needs her rest."
Albus: "How did she seem to you?"
Minerva stops her paperwork to stare into the distance for a moment.
Agent M: "Not unlike a hare caught in an open field."
Albus stares down at Minerva, a slight hint of a smile barely touching the edge of his beard. Minerva snaps back to focus on the parchment before her, but speaks out with some venom.
Agent M: "Albus, I should think that the use of Dementors as torturers for the incarcerated is a brutal practice whose time has long since passed. Their effect on the students this year has been horrifying. If this should continue into next term, I should think our enrollment will drop precipitously."
Albus: "I believe the Dementors will be removed from our concern by the end of term. As for their use at Azkaban, my efforts in this area are well-documented and fair proof of my lack of omnipotence."
The Headmasters light and joking tone is met with an offhandedness from Minerva.
Agent M: "I never doubted your mortality, Albus. Your fire for the fight seems to have dwindled since the last war."
Albus turns in his pacing once more and then stops to barely glare at the seated Professor.
Albus: "And your fire seems to be growing from association with your new godchild. Are you sure you're up to that challenge?"
Agent M: "My godchild and I have spoken longer and more often in the three months she's been incarcerated than you had spoken to her in the previous dozen years."
Albus: "Really? I hadn't realized that you had gone to visit Azkaban- when was this?"
Agent M: "My movements are none of your concern."
Albus: "Minerva..."
Minerva looks upward with a cold stare, facing down the headmaster. Albus resumes pacing quietly.
Albus: "Have you seen Professor Snape this evening?"
Agent M: "Not since the feast."
Albus: "And you have no idea where Miss Evans might be?"
Agent M: "I have several ideas but none of them concern me."
Albus: "They don't concern you? Perhaps you've forgotten..."
Agent M: "I am well aware of my responsibilities, Headmaster. If Holly is not in my chambers or visiting other students in the school, she is no doubt in Auror custody. Such are the rules of her probation, and I am certain she is abiding by them."
Albus: "Auror custody? Surely you aren't referring to your pet project? Nymphadora is only an Auror-cadet and unlikely to complete the training; she can't possibly be capable enough to manage Miss Evans."
Agent M: "I think Miss Tonks would surprise you Albus, and I have full confidence in her ability to... handle Miss Evans."
Minerva looks back down at her current exam, suppressing a smile.
Albus: "Surprising you say? Perhaps Nymphadora deserves some attention. I had thought her a lost cause of yours despite her talents. She never seemed to have the potential to mature into the role with which you've challenged her."
Agent M: "Well, Albus, I don't know which of us should be more insulted; Miss Tonks for your low opinion of her or me for your derision in my faith in her greater potential. It seems you think much more highly of the potential for fallen Slytherin to be redeemed than in the potential for subtlety and capability rising from any of the other Houses."
Albus: "I was praising you, Minerva. You shouldn't be so sensitive."
Agent M: "Albus, if you don't have a reason to be here right at this moment, I'd appreciate the solitude necessary to grade these exams."
Albus: "Very well, Professor. Please bring your charge to see me tomorrow, so that I may evaluate her before readmitting Miss Evans to the school."
Agent M: "If she is emotionally prepared to return, we will see you tomorrow. If she is not, we won't."
Albus: "Minerva, you needn't concern yourself. I only wish to ask a few questions to qualify the state of her mind."
Agent M: "Yes, and I believe Holly's response to your typical queries along these lines is 'You are freaking me out, sir.' We shall see you when I feel it is appropriate for her to return to her studies. In the meantime, she shall remain in my private quarters out of the way of students but still within the protection of Hogwarts. May I resume my work now, Headmaster?"
Albus gives Minerva a long stare but the Professor returns to concentrating on her paperwork. Albus sighs and leaves the office.
Agent M: "Bloody degenerate interfering poofter git..."
Transcription ends.

Newt and I are shocked. Shocked, I say. Such language from a professional educator.

Holly

*

Transcription: interrogation of Agent Rook by authorities. 24th May, 1994 starting 6:33 PM GST
Holly (and Newt) both wake up in the Headmaster's office, though Holly seems a little drunk. Also in attendance are Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, Professor Minerva McGonagall (Agent M), Professor Severus Snape, Director Amelia Bones, and Minister Cornelius Fudge, all in chairs. Standing in the room are also Auror Jim Dawlish, Auror Belinda Savage and Auror-Cadet Natalia Tonks (Agent Callisto). A Dementor lurks, floating outside the window nearest the Minister of Magic.
Albus: "Holly, wake up now. You have much to answer for."
Minister Fudge: "I should say so!"
Director Bones: "Minister, perhaps it would be prudent to reserve judgment on these matters until a more complete accounting has been made."
Holly smacks her lips loudly.
Holly: "I feel like I've been eating socks. Can I get some fruit juice or tea or something?"
Albus: "Miss Evans, you need to focus, now. Important people have come to Hogwarts, expecting that you..."
Director Bones: "Headmaster, I also encourage you not to feed information to your student with leading statements. Please allow me to conduct my investigation."
Albus: "As you please."
Director Bones: "Miss Evans, have you been in contact with Sirius Black?"
Holly: "Sure. But I'm not his student. Professor Dumbledore hasn't sucked me back under his thumb, yet."
Minerva: "I'd like to once again protest the use of Veritaserum on my godchild!"
Minister Fudge: "In matters concerning escaped Death Eaters, you'll find that the investigation is afforded much leeway in the pursuit of their prey."
Holly: "He's not a Death Eater. Pettigrew sold out the Potters. Sirius was tracking him here and trying to keep him from escaping again. That's why he broke into th' boys dorm- he was... OH DUH! He was tracking Ron's fucking RAT! Scabbers was Wormtail was Pettigrew!"
Minerva: "Language, Holly!"
Holly: "What?! They doped me up and you expect restraint? This shit-heel tried to make me lick his boots before I'd be released from prison!"
Holly waves towards Minister Fudge.
Holly: "I crawled up his body like I wanted to fuck him so he ssssent his guard away, then I wrapped my tongue around his neck. Got him to back off quick."
Minister Fudge: "I don't believe the potion is working correctly..."
Director Bones: "I do. This isn't the first I've heard of this treatment. Nonetheless, we have a specific task here. Miss Evans, what did Sirius Black say to you?"
Holly smiles with a squinty wave of her head.
Holly: "He said 'Woof! Woof-woof! Snarl, whine, snarl, woof!' And you can quote me!"
Director Bones: "I'm afraid I don't understand."
Holly: "He's a dog right now. Can't form a sentence to save his life. Good job with the punishing of the innocent there, Minister. And Headmaster."
Albus: "I'm sorry?"
Holly: "I doubt it! Sirius was innocent, you knew Lily cast the Fidelius so you had no idea who the secret-keeper was, but your former student is accused of extremely out of character actions and you shrug and send him to Purgatory? As I understand it, you were fine with Sirius being in prison, so that you could put me with the muggles. Otherwise I'd be with him, no doubt to his surprise."
Director Bones: "Why would you be with Sirius Black if he were innocent?"
Holly looks confused for a moment then starts gesturing towards Minerva.
Holly: "Cause he's like... like a ... y'know, like Mum there."
Director Bones: "He's... your father?"
Holly: "Well, God-, yeah!"
Minister Fudge: "No wonder you harbored this fugitive. You will bring us to him immediately."
Holly: "Ahh, no, I won't."
Minister Fudge: "And why not?"
Holly: "Becaaaaaauuuuuuuse! Even if I had him in my pocket, you'd kill him before he could give testimony, you bastards."
Director Bones gives Minister Fudge a strong, hard look while responding.
Director Bones: "That will not be permitted, Miss Evans. We will make sure to protect Sirius Black until the truth can be known!"
Holly: "Y'know, I'm really happy to see you're not dead yet, but if you keep saying things like that, Corny'll do you in before summertime!"
Minister Fudge stands up and looms over Holly in her chair.
Minister Fudge: "Miss Evans, WHERE IS SIRIUS BLACK?"
Holly starts to cackle.
Holly: "Well, he's in the MADHOUSE NOW, you prick!"
The Minister stands back and opens the window, gesturing outside with a wave of summons.
Minister Fudge: "Director Bones, keep your prisoner under constraints. If she will not tell us where to find Sirius Black, I will have no choice but to bring the Dementors to bear."
Director Bones: "First of all..."
Holly: "...you're a prick. I told you where he was, you just can't get there!"
Director Bones: "FIRST OF ALL, Miss Evans is not a prisoner, she is being held for questioning. Second of all, you have no right to threaten the Kiss for withholding evidence, however Miss Evans is accomplishing it."
Holly: "Are you people deaf? I said, Sirius is in the Madhouse."
Minister Fudge: "Aurors, seize Miss Evans."
Albus, Minerva and Bones all stand in protest. The Aurors move forward to grab Holly.
Albus: "Minister Fudge, this is totally inappropriate!"
Holly: "Yeah. No touch-ee!"
The Dementor moves into the room, causing everyone to back away except Aurors Dawlish and Savage who are holding Holly down in the chair. A cold hand reaches out to Holly.
Holly: "Fuck this. I'm leavin'."
Holly grabs the wrist of Auror Savage with her right hand and Stuns her. Auror Dawlish jumps back in surprise. Holly looks up at the Dementor stretching down towards her.
Holly: "Expecto Patronum!"
Holly conjures forth a mini-Hedwig that shoots up at the Dementor. The cloaked horror recoils backward for a moment, and then swats the small silvery owl away, causing it to burst against the stone wall. Holly takes the momentary opportunity to dive for the window.
Holly: "Arachnitacta!"
With a touch to her forehead, Holly vaults out the window to grab onto the exterior ledge. Inertia carries the rest of her body around to bounce off the tower shingles for a moment, but then Holly recovers her senses and begins to climb using all four extremities, reaching the top of the tower as the Dementor finally shoots out the window.
Holly: "This... sucks."
A sweet voice echoes up from below, carried by the wind.
Hermione: "Say, sailor, fancy a lift?"
Holly smiles broadly seeing Hermione shoot up next to her on the Nimbus broom.
Holly: "Yes, and I absolutely adore you!"
Holly jumps onto the broom behind Hermione and they speed off as the Dementor reaches out to grab Holly's hair. Holly pulls her ashwood wand from a hidden holster on her left upper arm and then taps on Hermione's head to Disillusion her. Hermione shivers, feeling the spell take effect as Holly repeats the spell on herself.
Hermione: "I hadn't seen you all day, and Moony said you were camped out in the Headmaster's suite all morning. I knew you had been tripped up when we saw the Minister and Director Bones come into the Entrance Hall."
Holly: "I love you, too."
The girls weave and swerve on the broom to avoid the gathering force of Dementors following them out across the tree tops.
Holly: "Head into the trees, we need cover!"
Hermione: "I don't know if I can navigate well enough in such tight...AIIIEEE!"
Suddenly a flight of four more Dementors cuts off the girls' forward motion, one of them casting a claw through Hermione's shoulder. The broom descends too quickly and Hermione barely has time to even out their course before they're both flung from their flight to the ground. Holly crawls over to Hermione and shakes her to consciousness.
Holly: "Stop napping, we need to run!"
Hermione: "O-Okay..."
The girls stumble to standing.
Holly: "But which way to go?"
Hermione: "The Shrieking Shack is just over that rise. If we can seal the place, they won't be able to get at us immediately."
Holly: "Let's go!"
Holly hugs herself tightly and then grabs the ashwood holdout wand from the ground. Hermione draws her own wand. Within moments they are Silenced and re-Disillusioned. Both girls stumble frequently in running to reach the Shrieking Shack. By the time they close the door behind them the sky is black with cloaked horrors moving in to surround them. The cold reach of their auras freezes the Shack like Antarctica. Sketcher begins to feel sleepy, but despite their furious collection of sealing and locking spells, the girls are growing anxious. Their Disillusionment has faded once more.
Hermione: "What now?"
Holly: "Hope that we get rescued? I didn't plan for this!"
Hermione: "I'm afraid things are worse if we're hoping for help- when I borrowed your broom I told the twins and Ginny to do whatever they could to delay our pursuers."
A chorus of wails rises in volume, frightening Holly and Hermione into each other's arms.
Holly: "I'm so sorry I've brought you into this."
Hermione: "So am I."
The girls yelp as a crash flings broken boards across the room, allowing three Dementors in to attack them. The witches' wands glow bright with their spells.
Holly & Hermione: "Expecto Patronum!"
A large silvery owl and an equally solid-seeming otter burst forth to confront the invaders, swooping and battering the Dementors until they are forced back out the hole. Hermione seals the breach with an adept twist of her wand and then recasts her otter Patronus.
Hermione: "Expecto Patronum! Isn't there a passage from here back onto the grounds?"
Holly: "Sure, but I have no idea where or how to get to it."
Hermione: "I should've studied the Map more..."
Holly: "Would have, could have, should have; it's done. We move forward with what we've got. I have a notion..."
Hermione: "Please, Holly. Your mid-combat inspirations aren't the ones I admire."
Holly: "We'll debate that later. Have you tried to use the memory from your parent's house to feed your Patronus?"
Hermione: "Holly, I'm sorry but I don't remember what happened."
Holly: "Why not?"
Hermione: "Every time I remembered one of our... trysts I would become sick. It became very tiresome and was ruining my feelings for you, so I locked them away. I still know that we've... done things but I have no idea what, nor how they occurred."
Holly: "Well now seems a good time for nostalgia, Hermione!"
Hermione: "I can't!"
Holly moves around to recast a Patronus as she sees the previous one fade amidst overbearing Dementors.
Holly: "Expecto Patronum! Because you loved a woman?"
Hermione: "Yes! No, I didn't... we had... I was possessed!"
Holly: "Would it have been different if Harry had made you orgasm so strongly that you touched God?"
Hermione: "Well, of course, but what does Harry have to do with this?"
Holly: "Harry was the one, Hermione. Harry made you feel that way. Harry loves you."
Hermione: "That makes no sense! How can you say that? How do you know how he feels?"
Holly grabs Hermione and turns to face her.
Holly: "Because..."
Holly changes into Harry.
Harry: "I AM Harry Potter!"
Hermione's face breaks into a grimace of anxious denial.
Hermione: "No! NO! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!"
Harry: "It's true, Hermione. It's also true that you and I have made love. It would be just the same as if we had done things together while still staying true to your boundaries. Is that enough? Can you release the memory, knowing it was me?"
Hermione collapses onto the floor. Harry turns and shoots off another Patronus to edge away the battering hordes clawing at the boarded windows, though this one is smaller and moves slower.
Hermione: (sobbing) "I've locked it away. I can't..."
Harry: "YOU locked it away, so YOU can unlock it!"
Harry swings down to a crouch and faces Hermione, turning her face up to his.
Harry: "You have to release that memory, Hermione."
Hermione: "I can't!"
Harry: "You must!"
Hermione glares up at Harry with a spitting grimace.
Hermione: "I CAN'T! There is no love there, just lies! All you are is just a pile of lies and broken promises, and I'm going to die because of it!"
Harry flinches back at the words, his expression growing cold. Windows and planks on all sides of the shack are torn away and Dementors begin to move in on the couple collected at the center of the floor of the room.
Harry: "Seeing as you already hate me, Imperio!"
Hermione's expression falls from her angry, sobbing grimace into a slackened detached gaze.
Harry: "You will unlock your memory of the orgasm that stopped your heart, and when you can remember it clearly, make a Patronus of it."
Hermione nods slowly and closes her eyes. Harry stands and conjures forth another Patronus as the Dementors fly past him, stabbing at his psyche as they pass like frenzied sharks. Harry moves his Patronus to defend against another attack and is raked along his back with a deathly cold that causes him to drop the ashwood wand. Follow-up attacks force Harry to kneeling as he attempts to retrieve his wand. Hermione begins to grin, then shake, until finally she releases a giggling sigh. Dementors pull Harry to the ground, turning him over and begin to suck deeply of the horrors of his memories. Harry can't scream or even protest, only groan as more and more pain and anguish is drawn from his face, until a spark begins to rise out of his mouth. Dementors surround Hermione's prone form as well, causing her eyes to pop open.
Hermione: "(giggle) Expecto Patronum."
Bright light shoots forth from Hermione's wand tip like a giant, rounded zigzag tongue. The closest Dementors shriek in outrage and pain, looking torn and damaged. The tongue whips around, sending Dementors flying back through the walls as if stung by an electrified bullwhip. The whole room becomes suffused with light.
Transcription ends as Newt loses consciousness again.

Transcription: interview by authorities. 24th May, 1994 starting 8:14 PM GST
The Shrieking Shack is no more. Most of the boards were blown ten to thirty yards distant, as if a fireless explosion had opened the wooden structure like a flower. Hermione lies unconscious, her head in Harry's lap as he sits on the floor crying. Minister Fudge, Albus Dumbledore, Director Bones and Auror-Cadet Tonks step onto the platform that remains as the base of the main floor of the sundered shack.
Minister Fudge: "Is that... Harry Potter?"
Albus: "Harry! What are you doing here?"
Harry: "What am I doing here? (Snif) I was having a date! What are you people playing at? I admit, I'm not supposed to be out and about but we didn't do anything wrong and suddenly we're besieged by Dementors! What kind of Ministry are you running, sir?"
Natalia starts losing her battle to suppress a cackle.
Harry: "I don't think it's very funny, Miss!"
Director Bones: "Mister Potter, my name is Amelia Bones. I am the Director of the Department for Magical Law Enforcement."
Harry reaches up to shake the Director's hand while maintaining an irritated expression.
Harry: "Is this your doing, then?"
Director Bones: "No, Mister Potter. I believe the Minister was attempting to recapture your sister."
Harry: "For what?"
Director Bones: "Withholding evidence."
Harry: "I'm sorry, is that a de-souling offense, now?"
Director Bones: "No, Mister Potter. No it is not."
Minister Fudge: "Now, Amelia. I shouldn't think we should speak of such things here."
Harry: "Well, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep away from Holly in general. I swear, sometimes I think you want her to turn to the Dark Arts just to be proven right. Treat a kicked puppy like a mad dog and it'll become one, y'know?"
Minister Fudge: "Your sister has once again committed serious crimes..."
Director Bones: "Actually, she hasn't. Holly was interviewed under Veritaserum in relation to her encounter with Sirius Black, but at no time did she confess to harboring or aiding the fugitive. If anything, she provided information that may lead to his recapture."
Albus: "I would agree to that assessment of the testimony, Minister. Unless you have some other interpretation of the interview that should be included when it is added to the official record of investigation..."
Minister Fudge: "I think it might be prudent for us to move that discussion back to your office, Professor Dumbledore."
Minister Fudge nudges his head less than subtly towards Harry.
Harry: "Professor, I think it would be best if we could move Hermione to the hospital wing. She's been under a terrible strain just now."
Albus: "Of course, my boy. Perhaps the young Auror can lend a hand while we finish discussing the details."
Tonks walks up to Harry and leans down to look into his eyes for a moment, and then levitates Hermione's sleeping body up and out of the wrecked house, walking back towards Hogwarts. Harry stands up and brushes off his dusty robes. The three adults stare at him.
Harry: "What?"
Director Bones: "Mr. Potter, we all have many questions but what I need to know now is what exactly happened here?"
Harry: "There's really not much to say. Hermione agreed to meet me here, as we've grown close over our correspondence. We were talking for a few minutes, the room grew bitter cold and then we were surrounded by Dementors clawing to get in like this was the last raft of the Titanic."
Director Bones: "You have no idea why they would come after you and Miss... ahh..."
Harry: "Granger, ma'am. Hermione Granger. No, I have no idea. It's a mystery."
Director Bones: "So then you cast a Patronus that shattered this house?"
Harry: "Uhh, yeah. Is that unusual? I've only practiced against Boggarts before. May I go, ma'am? This has been a very trying day."
Director Bones: "I can imagine. How shall we contact you if we have further questions?"
Harry: "Ask the Headmaster."
As Harry walks off, Director Bones turns towards the gentlemen with her to quietly discuss his testimony.
Director Bones: "By Merlin! A fully-formed lightning bolt Patronus capable of dispersing a hundred Dementors! Did you know he was this powerful, Headmaster?"
Albus: "I can safely say that Harry is surprising in many ways, Director."
Harry trudges off towards the castle, a smile breaking over his face briefly before returning to a sullen scowl once he is out of sight.
Transcription ends.

I hope this helps catch you up on events, Mum. The twins said they were really sorry you got caught in their curried choking-gas cloud with Professor Snape and the other Aurors. Hermione is still in Hospital. Madame Pomfrey says she won't wake up for a few days as Hermione's suffering from magical exhaustion. I suppose that's one way to put it.

Holly

*

Mum,
Natalia was able to lure Director Bones back to the castle for a cuppa, allowing us to meet quietly and clear the air.

Transcription: 24th May, 1994 starting 10:21 PM GST
Holly is sitting in the desk chair behind Minerva's desk in the Transfiguration classroom. Natalia opens the door and leads Director Bones in with a bouncy grin. Upon seeing Holly, Director Bones pulls her wand and takes a fighting stance.
Director Bones: "Holly Evans, you will surrender your weapon and submit to me right now! Auror Tonks- move in front of me, present your wand, place it onto a desk, and step back!"
Natalia delicately pulls out her wand to place it on a student desk and then steps backward to stumble into the chair behind her. Holly giggles while planting her face into her hand.
Natalia: "Whoops! 'Sa regular obstacle course in here."
Holly stands from the desk chair and raises her hands into the air.
Holly: "I'm unarmed and I promise I have no intention to try to do you harm. Can we talk?"
Director Bones: "Fine. Move up here and sit in a chair. I'm going to bind you in place, all the same."
Holly follows the Director's instructions, allowing herself to be bound to the chair with her arms straight behind her.
Holly: "Is this a particular fetish of yours, Director? These knots are expertly tied."
Director Bones raises an eyebrow while settling into another chair to Holly's side, out of her visual range.
Director Bones: "Thank you, but never while on duty."
Natalia gasps in astonishment.
Director Bones: "... or with subordinates. I have questions. If the answers seem direct and uncomplicated, we'll assume you're telling the truth and perhaps your freedom can be assured. Give me any reason to doubt your sincerity and we'll continue this in London with Veritaserum and aid from the Unspeakables."
Natalia: "Are you kidding? They'll tear up her mind!"
Director Bones: "Pending the results of this conversation you're suspended, Auror Tonks. Sit down and shut up."
Natalia: "Yes, ma'am."
Natalia sits on Minerva's desk quietly.
Holly: "That's fair. What did you want to know?"
Director Bones: "Where is this Madhouse?"
Holly: "Figures you'd start with a stumper. Godric's Hollow. Anything more specific would require that I want to tell you, as it's under the Fidelius."
Director Bones: "I understand. How did you escape the Dementors?"
Holly: "There's a hidden tunnel below the Shrieking Shack that leads back onto the grounds. I didn't realise Harry and Hermione were up there. I'm glad they're okay; at least Tonks says Hermione will recover, right?"
Natalia: "That's what Pomfrey said."
Director Bones: "Is Sirius Black a Death Eater?"
Holly: "No, but he is an Animagus. He survived a dozen years in Azkaban by changing into a dog most of the time. He got so used to it that he's having problems reverting to a human now. He stayed there, ridden with guilt over Pettigrew's betrayal that led to the death of my parents, until he saw Pettigrew in the Daily Prophet. See, Peter was also an Animagus, a rat. At some point following his escape from the explosion that killed the 12 other people, Pettigrew made himself the pet rat of the Weasleys. When Arthur won that lottery or whatever they appeared in the Prophet, including Ron's rat, Scabbers. Also known as Wormtail. That prompted Sirius to break out and go rat hunting."
Director Bones: "If Black is mentally a dog, how did you discover this?"
Holly: "I've learned to use Legilimency to communicate with intelligent animals with help from that notebook I got from Perenelle Flamel. Mostly I use it to chat with my owl, Hedwig. This all showed up as images in Sirius' mind."
Director Bones: "What will be Black's next move?"
Holly: "Well, I expect that he'll travel abroad to recover, far away from Dementors and Ministry pursuit. At least, that's what I'm hoping to convince him to do."
Director Bones: "You don't want him to seek justice?"
Holly: "I do, but it has been explained to me that such a settling of injustices might lead to a significant shift in the fortunes of important people, enough to earn him a covert death sentence. I'd like him to live free, far away from here if it helps."
Director Bones: "And would you go with him, then?"
Holly: "No. Too many people I care about live in the UK. I need to stay here and protect them."
Director Bones: "I was under the impression you didn't have many people that you care about."
Holly: "I don't. The folks in this room constitute about an eighth of the people I care to protect."
Director Bones: "You don't need to protect me, Miss Evans. I'm trying to protect you."
Holly: "And I appreciate that, but I'm not sure you realise how much trouble protecting me is causing you. I was serious before. I'm surprised you're still alive after our private meeting during the trial."
Director Bones: "Well, you'll be interested to know that the Minister has tripled my workload in excess paper shuffling, so no real investigation has occurred based upon... erm. Miss Evans is Auror Tonks...?"
Holly: "Natalia's my friend and confidant. She knows almost everything that I do about these things."
Director Bones: "I thought your name was..."
Natalia: "Ah, Ah! I'm changing it. I just haven't put in the paperwork yet."
Director Bones: "Why not?"
Holly: "'Cause she hasn't told her parents yet, have you? Big sissy!"
Natalia: "It's not as simple as you might think, there Hols!"
Director Bones: "Alright. What about you, Holly?"
Holly: "I'm good with 'Holly Evans'."
Director Bones: "No, I mean, what do you intend to do next?"
Holly: "Oh! Well if you can assure me the Ministry won't be trying to arrest me anytime soon, I'd like to get back to a lawful education at Hogwarts. I bear no grudges against the students and have no intention of defending myself as lethally unless they try to kill me first."
Director Bones: "But you do bear grudges against the faculty?"
Holly: "Only the Headmaster. He doesn't teach, so it shouldn't get in the way of my schooling."
Director Bones: "I heard that you have some difficulty with the goblins."
Holly: "I honestly have no idea why, but they've asked my brother to sell me to them. Happily, he's declining the offer."
Director Bones: "And you won't be trying to undermine the Ministry?"
Holly: "Well, no, but it's a silly question to ask anyway. If I was, that would be the obvious time to lie, wouldn't it?"
Director Bones: "It's truly unfortunate..."
Holly: "You're not going to let me go?"
Director Bones: "No, I am. The unfortunate thing is that your criminal record prevents you from becoming an Auror. We could use people like you."
Transcription ends.

She likes me. I can tell because the Director gave me back my wand and quiver. Also Tonks has been reinstated, so she must like her, too.

Holly

*

25th May, 1994

Mum
I've decided that I want to share this journal with Hermione. I'm going to start including events that any of us might have missed. To that end I'm including the announcement from earlier this evening. I'm glad you're feeling better. I just hope Hermione recovers soon and that I have a chance to speak with her before the Aurors take her statement.

Transcription: 25th May, 1994 starting 6:38 PM GST
Holly enters the Great Hall as dinner is in progress, walking down the center aisle to step up to the staff table in front of Albus Dumbledore.
Albus: "Miss Evans, I would think that you are very brave to come strutting in here so boldly after yesterday's legal difficulties.
Holly: "Sir, I have reconciled my legal status with Director Bones and am no longer being hunted. Also, that wasn't strutting- I've been told to keep my shoulders straight and my head level or I'll have neck and back problems as I grow older."
Minerva: "I can concur that both those statements are true."
Holly smiles at Minerva before continuing.
Holly: "As I'd like to return to classes, I've prepared this statement that I'd like to say to everybody. Would that be alright?"
Holly hands a page of parchment to the Headmaster who reads it quickly and gives a subtle, approving nod before handing back the paper. Holly turns around to face the assembled students who for the most part have been staring at the interaction the whole time. With a brief look of surprise, Holly schools her emotions, stands at attention and begins to speak. Her voice starts tremulously but builds in confidence as she progresses.
Holly: "S-students and teachers of Hogwarts. I have a prepared statement that I'd like to read.
'While the majority of the events that led to the death of Marcus Flint were not in my control, I deeply regret the excessive and unlawful acts I committed that led to his tragic end. I have returned to Hogwarts to seek further education in the ways of magic and magical society, and I ask for your forgiveness or at least your forbearance to allow me to once again join the student body. It is not my intention to create conflict or seek revenge for any acts, real or imagined. I just want to learn, safely.'"
Buzzing and whispering accompanies her brief pause as Holly folds the parchment in half and sticks it into a pocket of her robes.
Holly: "I also have an announcement. Late Monday night I encountered Sirius Black in the Forbidden Forest. He told me that he had come here searching for the man who truly had betrayed the Potters to... their murderer, as he had not done so, and in fact was not the one who killed twelve people when he fought with Peter Pettigrew. He said that Peter was the betrayer and survived their battle after setting off the explosion."
Albus: "Miss Evans..."
Holly: "Whether he was telling the truth or not, the man he was tracking has escaped his pursuit, and so Sirius Black has left England for more welcoming shores. With the threat removed, the Dementors have returned to Azkaban for the foreseeable future. Unless Professor Trelawney knows better?"
Sybill: "No, my dear. They won't be back for years."
Holly: "Brilliant."
Stunned silence settles over the audience until a loud clapping is heard from five redheads at the Gryffindor table. In moments, the room erupts in applause and cheering as everyone realises that the nightmares haunting the school all year have gone. The cheering continues for several minutes before it begins to abate; Holly moves to descend from the stage.
Blaise Zabini: "Oi, Evans! Why did he talk to you?"
Holly: "Well, neither of us is sure, but there's every possibility that he's my father."
Suddenly the rising conversations stop. You could hear a pin drop.
Pansy: "So that would make you..."
Holly: "Still short and feisty."
Pansy: "I meant your title."
Holly: "Oh! The Lady Holly Evans Black, last direct heir to the Ancient and Noble House of Black, also the Lady Holly Evans of the common House of Evans and regent to the Ancient House of Potter until Harry comes of age."
Blaise: "But you're not of age..."
Holly: "That's strange, as I was tried and imprisoned as an adult. Isn't the maximum penalty for crimes as an underage witch house arrest and breaking of their wand?"
Holly twirls her wand in her fingers. Albus stands up, drawing the attention of the room.
Albus: "While I appreciate Miss Evans' comments, the important point of this announcement that she has kindly made for me is that the Dementors are gone and that Hogwarts is safe once more. To celebrate, we shall be having a special feast tomorrow evening. Goodnight!"
As the room bursts with activity and not a small amount of further cheering, Holly turns to face the Headmaster, speaking quietly enough that only the Staff table can hear.
Holly: "'Safe once more?' It was safe from Sirius Black the whole time!"
Albus: "But not from the Dementors... or from you. In any case, safety has been restored for the time being."
Holly: "Or the illusion thereof."
Albus: "Would you accompany me to my office, Miss Evans? I believe there are a few matters we need to discuss."
Holly: "Sir, thank you but no. If I am to return to Charms tomorrow morning, I'll need rest and time to catch up on my studies."
Albus: "Miss Evans..."
Minerva: "That sounds fine, Holly. Professor, perhaps it would be better for us to meet in my office tomorrow for lunch."
Albus' retiring expression reveals a sour, pondering annoyance, but only for those close enough to see it.
Albus: "Very well. Tomorrow at noon."
Transcription ends.

I think the Headmaster has seen more Westerns than I have. 'High noon, in the usual place. We'll settle this... like men!'

Holly

*

Omake
Holly: "Arachnitacta!"
With a touch to her forehead, Holly vaults out the window to grab onto the exterior ledge. Inertia carries the rest of her body around to bounce off the tower shingles for a moment, but then Holly recovers her senses and begins to climb using all four extremities.
Holly: (singing while climbing) "Spider-Girl, Spider-Girl; spins her web in a spider-whirl!"
Natalia: (same tune) "Can she split, from this tower? Minister Fudge, crap and cower! Hey Therrrrrre!"
Minerva: (mumbled singing) "There goes the Spider Girrrl."
Hermione flies up on the Nimbus.
Holly: "Why thank you citizen! The press may hate me, but the public understands!"
Hermione: "Will you just get on the bloody broom?"
Holly hops onto the Nimbus behind Hermione and then turns back towards the approaching Dementor, aiming her ash holdout wand at their pursuer.
Holly: "Excelsior!"
A patronus-like image of a man's grinning face appears. The face smiles widely beneath a shaggy moustache and overlarge sunglasses, causing the Dementor to veer off with a wail of pain. The shriek draws a strange look from both girls.
Holly & Hermione: "That's a spell?"

*

Author's Note: The concept of adult status coming with being treated legally as an adult was taken from an interesting fic called 'Can't Have It Both Ways' by Robst, available on fanfictiondotnet. Holly won't be able to leverage this legally in this story, but it's enough to provoke a pureblood response. Call it a prank.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5402315/1/Cant_Have_It_Both_Ways