Categories > Books > Harry Potter > JEDI POTTER
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JEDI POTTER
(#) vheritas 2010-08-17
Excellent chapter. Harry and an angry Queen Liz will be interesting.
Thanks for all your hard work on this fine story.Author's response
Yeah, the Queen isn't gonna be happy, but she will listen. Neither Harry nor Amelia had any notice of the attack, (Even through the force) and so they couldn't possibly have prevented it.
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) Teresa 2010-08-17
Well, well...... it looks like Voldy might have competion for his best friend from the grunt squad! Of course, if any of them are both stupid and/or hooked enough to try stealing those little bottles they'll get a first hand look at the other side. Such a pity, that. I wonder if they'd have a warm welcome from their victims? And who would have thought Dumbles would have the mindset of a drug pusher? Why, he might have missed his calling.......Dumbledore, drug lord. He's got Snape to run the lab, and Voldy and the DE's as clients. At least he didn't drop some of his special mixture in Poppy's supplies! The board already wants his head, and hooking innocent kids on his stuff would be just one more mark against him. He might be considered just the villiage idiot at present but something like that would totally ruin what little reputation he has left. He'd probably blame Snape though. I loved the board meeting, between the missing money/students and the take over by competant people I'm suprised Dumbles didn't reach for a little brown bottle of his own....... but then he has those lemon drops. Dumbles must be hating life right now, between Harry's actions and the tag team of Andromeda, Augusta, Amelia and Carolyn! It's going to be a long year for him! It's also going to be a long year for Snape too.....he's caught beteen two nutcases and no escape in sight. Couldn't happen to a more deserving slimy worm...... Ponders: since Voldy's increased torturing all his minions, especially the ones with brains, is it possible that a few might try to bail and get captured by Amelia and company? Or will they try to escape and be snuffed by Voldy? Who knows, Nagini might be leading the pack! As for the mission, is Voldy too far gone to realize what his little mission has done? Harry did warn the Queen what sort of people they were dealing with, and unfortunately the DE's did have some success with this latest mission. I'm just glad that it wasn't a group home for children. It's poor comfort to the ones who died and their families, but at least they were able to strike back against the people who attacked them. I think though that the Queen will understand that it was beyond Harry and Amelia's control, and that if they had known they'd have tried to help. Terrorists are scum, and scum doesn't care what happens to innocent people. Will Voldy learn from this, or will he just try another target? This won't look good for the recrutement drive..... the DE's are being whittled down quite thouroughly! It's good to see! Pity that real world terrorists can't be dealt with in a similar way....sighs. I also enjoyed seeing how Harry dealt with Ernie and Ron. It was also good to see his talk with Megan. As for the other guys, here's hoping that they not only apply the lesson to their behavior during this period, but remember it after this is over. The acronyms were fun! By the way, I know Carolyn will do her best, but Vernon and Petunia won't keep their mouths shut unless she spells them shut.....and that would be an improvement! As always it was a fantastic chapter! I hope Harry and Neville will get through to Ron, but I have my doubts! :)Author's response
WOW! This is the longest review you've ever written! Thank you!
As usual, I'll try to take it point for point.
Competition: Just yet they won't know they're hooked. And an addiction takes time to build. What I've done is jumpstart the process. Since most of the Deez are wealthy, they'll find ways to procure their own...at first.
Greetings in the afterlife: "Why 'ello, gvn'r. Oi got this loverly boxin' rink jes set up. Y'know wehat a boxin' rink is fer, don' ye? Well, it ain't fer wrappin' bloody Christmas gifts, oi c'n tell ye 'at!
Dumbley's mindset: Anything he does for the greater good is automatically all right. For such a long lived person, he has a rather black/white view of the world.
Tom is his primary target, and so anything he can do to weaken that target it acceptable. and you're right. The -only- reason he brewed the untainted potions for the hospital wing is so nobody would investigate the source.
Board meeting/Lemon drops: Yeah, he definitely has a headache! A sip or two of Snape's 'special blend', would set him straight.
On the other hand, Albie -is- an Alchemist.
And the lemon drops will come in to play soon.
You're right. Albie s going to have a long and uncomfortable year ahead. BWA...BWAHAHA...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Snape: I have no mercy for Snape. I utterly detest the character, so anything I can do to make him hurt is good in my book.
Voldy, torture and Nagini:
Yeah, Voldy is becoming more and more irrational as time goes on. Perhaps Snape will try to substitute a less addictive potion, but I'm not certain there is one. I'm also not certain Dumbledore would allow it.
Having the Deez try to defect is a good idea. I might use that. Amelia has a method of concealing the mark, and hiding them on the continent, so it might work. On the other hand, they really don't have anything of use to the Ministry that would justify their transfer. Voldemort guards his secrets as well, or better than Dumbledore.
Nagini has a special part to play, though she doesn't know it just yet, and I have no intention of killing her off if I don't have to. It's not her fault she was enslaved by a lunatic.
Mission: He doesn't care...simple as that. To him, muggles are animals to be enslaved or wiped out. Just now, he's limiting the contact because he knows the muggles outnumber him 10,000:1, but that can't hold. Soon enough he'll become arrogant enough that he'll start full scale operations against the muggles as well. That's where the Ministry comes in. Amelia has brokered assistance treaties with France, Italy and Spain, at least.
When he strikes, she'll have the troops she needs to jump all over his crew.
The warning I had Harry give to the queen still holds true, but Riddle is a bigot. He still doesn't believe the muggles are capable of harming him. Since he was under the influence during the raid, and shortly afterward he chugged about a dozen times the safe dosage, he's going to be in stupid-ville for some time to come. When he returns to what passes for his reality, hes going to decide that there must have been blood traitors in the muggle group and that's how his people were injured and killed.
Like Dumbledore, he never listens to anyone but himself.
Unfortunately it's a sad fact that in war, soldiers die. I've buried too many of my friends because of that fact. The queen is also a pragmatist. She cares a great deal for her subjects, but she does understand war only too well.
At least these deaths aren't going to be passed off as 'training accidents'. The families will be told their sons died fighting a dangerous terrorist group and killed more than fourty of the aggressors. Like you said, it won't hurt any less, but the families will have a concrete reason for their deaths.
Nobody knows what the initial target was but Voldemort and Selwyn, so Snape couldn't allow it to leak. For all intents, it was a training mission to sow terror, that went wrong. Since Dumbley is now out of the loop, he won't learn from the queen, who really doesn't know all that much anyway. All he has is Snape's report that the dark lord had three holes and two pieces of metal in him, and fourty of his servants were killed.
Dumbledore knows what a bullet is, and Riddle probably does too, but Snape might not. Even during this formative years, guns were very rare in British popular culture.
Will Voldy learn: Are you kidding? Voldy never learns! That's what makes him so much fun to write!
Recruitment: Unfortunately there's never a lack of people willing to do anything for power. The 'it can't happen to me' scenario is always at the forefront of minds like that.
Also, he's getting more and more careless, more erratic. This will affect the targets he's chooses from here on. Snape will have to keep providing stronger and stronger formulas and Voldy will become more and more addicted.
~Pity that real world terrorists can't be dealt with in a similar way....sighs.~
They can. It's just illegal.
Ernie/Ron: Like Dudley, Ron is redeemable. Ernie, in canon was a pompous overbearing ass, though when the chips were down, he stood solidly by Harry. Here, I've used his earlier personality...specifically that of CoS.
When my daughter told me a boy she knew would pat her ass whenever he'd walk by, I had a little chat with him, explaining the problem there. I believe I told him that there are 28 bones in either hand and I could break all but 8 on a side, without a hammer. then I showed him my well-used 'Fat-Max' 28 ounce framing hammer.
He got the point.
I think Ernie got off lightly.
Megan: One must recognize quality work.
Acronyms: That was too much fun.
Another nod to the genius that is my sister FireLemming.
Carolyn: Actually, that's what I had planned, though I'm going to use a behavioral compulsion instead of an outright spell.
Ron: Harry wants him on the team. He's willing to bend over backwards to make sure he stays, both in the group, and aligned with the Jedi side. Remember, Ron is the character most in danger of turning to the dark side. While I've made him a better character than in canon, he does tend to demonstrate some of the less desirable traits that made him so reviled in the later books. He's still easily angered, quick to judge, jealous, and has an inferiority complex...despite the strong evidence to the contrary.
He is, in fact the very thing spymasters look for, when recruiting local agents.
Neville and Ron. Nevile will do his utmost to help Ron. He's that kind of guy.
I have one more method of reforming him, which will be shown in December.
Thank you for the lovely review. I wish everybody would give this kind.
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) Rob 2010-08-17
Great part. Love to see the Deez get justice.Author's response
It was fun to write too! Ain't it neat how a simple misunderstanding can lead to a disastrous situation?
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) zamia 2010-08-18
SMERSH, SPECTRE, SMELT, what next? UNCLE and the GODFATHER. Love it. I can see Ron being a good partner with Macmillan. Now with Liz wanting to see Amelia & Harry, one would expect she is not amused. You would expect the Deez not to know what Special Operations is. Mustn't be too many of them left. Excellent enjoyable chapter. Cheers.
ZAuthor's response
I was thinking ZOWIE from the Flint series.
I'm working on Ron, and Ginny is working with Seamus, but Ernie was such a jerk, even in canon, I wanted to slam to crap out of him. I'm amazed he had any friends.
You're right. The Queen is not happy. She'll demand her explanation, and both Harry and Amilia will tell her they had no warning of it. (It's likely Dumbledore did. Hmmm! Something to think on...)
Special operations, special needs...whaddevah!
Unfortunately, there will always be idiots willing to follow anyone who promises them gold, power or sex.
Don't worry. next chapter, he'll be...recruiting.
On the other hand, what better way to get rid of the purebloods than by killing them off?
Alorkin
OH, By the way; SMERSH was the real name of the Special Operations Section of the NKVD. The precursor to the KGB.
Sorry, I misspelled my intent. I wanted to SLAP the crap out of Ernie.JEDI POTTER
(#) Wolfric 2010-08-18
Fine chapter. Voldemort must be running low on cannon fodder, oh well sucks to be him. The Jedi may actually outnumber the DEs. Thanks for writing. W.Author's response
Heya Wolfric.
Naah, the cannon fodder will always be there. All he has to do is promise them power, wealth and image.
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) erik 2010-08-18
Another well written chapter. I thought the training section was well done and was nicely balanced with bits of humour. I admit to being surprised at the Special Operations centre being a school and then they made a fatal mistake, and I didn't know there was a 28th SAS regiment. Well done & thanks.Author's response
Heya Erik.
Thanks for the kind words. It's too easy to focus on the training to the exclusion of everything else, but with Luna's quirky personality it's not easy.
Personally I thought the mistake was hilarious. the Deez are so insular they'd easily mistake Special Ops for Special needs.
I don't know if there is a 28th SAS. It really doesn't matter though.
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) ROBERT_1958 2010-08-18
*FROM THE STORY:
"Albus Dumbledore was not having a good week. On the fifteenth of October, the Board of Governors had reconvened, and they were demanding an explanation for the sixty missing students. The concern of the meeting was more the lack of tuition, to the tune of nearly thirty-five thousand Galleons, that accompanied the students’ departure, rather than the loss of the students themselves. That gold would have funded the school for the year as well as certain ‘traditional and expected stipends’ to some of the members of the board. With the gold having been withdrawn, those traditional bribes couldn’t be paid, and Dumbledore was in the hot-seat."*
If 60 students payed for the upkeep of Hogwarts, how manny students were left after Harry and his group left Hogwarts and where did the money of the remaning students go twords?
Great story.
Looking for more real soon.
Author's response
The 60 missing students only account for a small portion of he students, (My estimation is about 1200), but the mugglebornes pay a disproportionate share of the costs.
(Muggleborne/yr= G580, Half-blood/yr=G386, Pureblood/yr=G193.)
If the student proportion is roughly one third each Mugleborne, half-blood and pureblood, the total comes to G463600/yr, or nearly US$16 million/yr, of which the mugglebornes pay G232000 or a bit over US$8 million. (just under half.)
Since magic is used for nearly everything there, the only thing the tuition is really for is supplies and bribes. Without that extra G34800 (or 1.2 million dollars), the school won't be as well prepared to pay those bribes.
Every wonder why a school of such prestige, has such crappy brooms?
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) Destroyerdrt 2010-08-18
I know that they had the wrong place I call that the cop bar effected. It is where crook try to rob a bar but it is a place that cops hang out it is funnny and has happened for real too.Author's response
The strangest thing is, that seems to happen over and over again. Some people never learn.
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) keichan2 2010-08-19
Ooh...
Voldy addicted to headache potion... This will have consequences... (How long until he calls his bottle "my precious" ;-p)
And, well... The failure of the attack on the "defects" in the special operations training center can be laid in the hands of Dumbledore and his choice of Muggle studies teacher :-D
(note: I wrote that BEFORE I read the events of the 31... I have to say that poor Voldy is really unlucky... It was NOT the day!)
Author's response
PRECIOUSSSSS! -Snicker!- I hadn't planned on it, but that does sound fun.
Seriously, though, Voldy is losing touch with what passes for reality. He will become more and more erratic as time goes on. He will also become more violent, though he will spend more time 'disciplining' those he imagine aren't as loyal as he wants.
While Professor Babbling is an idiot, the cultural ignorance of the wizarding world is also responsible for the misinterpretation.
And no. Hallowe'en was not a good day for Voldy!" LOL
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) lycus 2010-08-19
You are a sneaky one, since you mentioned dudley before the DE attack I thought that they were going to attack the school. But having Voldemort hooked on potions is funny as hell, I can see Harry just standing in front of him with a little brown bottle making snakeface do stupid pet tricks for a little treat. I wonder what would happen if voldemort wanted to know about the people who wiped out most of the deatheaters and came across a non-magical drug dealer? but I have to say that we all knew that someone would be punished I just thought that it would be ron, but I loved that there was no problems with other people excepting Megan and Su's Relationship.Author's response
I'm trying to keep Voldemort's influence as far away from the Dursleys as possible. I don't want any 'accidents' to ruin Harry's fun. Carolyn is keeping him up to date as to Dudley's progress, and Vernon/Petunia's lack thereof.
When Voldy wakes up...i a couple days, he's going to think there is a traitor in the group. After all, muggles are inferior, aren't they? they can't possibly harm a wizard, can they? Therefore, they must have had help, and since the only people who knew of the raid were his death eaters, obviously one or more of them had to have been responsible for their defeat. Ain't it amazing how circular reasoning works?
Since Voldemort doesn't see himself as having a problem, he isn't looking in the right direction. IN you hypothetical situation, he'd just kill the poor schmuck as a low life scumbag. He might even expect praise him for it.
Ron is going to have his own group of troubles, and Hermione is going to come up with a rather...interesting solution to them.
Stupid pet tricks would be a blast! -Whistles- Here boy! Roll over! Sit up! Bark! That's a good little dark lord!
Megan and Li: Statistically, on in ten is homosexual. I will have three gay couples in training, and As I have no problem with gay couples, I write harry the same. He's passed out the guidelines, and expects them to be followed.
Alorkin
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