FicWad

No Rain
Chapter 2: Perfect Indeed

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The balcony overlooking the pool and the back yard of the Xavier institute was always peaceful at night. The moon cast a hypnotic shine on the waters as it hung high in the night sky. The crisp wind coming off from the waters of the lake kept the air cool as Scott and Jean stood looking over the scenery around them. While it was hard to forget the fresh memory of the nightmare...The picturesque view helped distract the two teens from the horrors that had plagued them on this night.

As Scott Summers and Jean Grey stood under the moonlight, they both lit up cigarettes and began taking steady drags.

"The dreams have been getting pretty bad lately...I can't even remember the last time I actually slept through the night," said Scott as he exhaled a lung full of smoke.

"I know...I talked to the Professor about them earlier...But he just said he'll try harder to get those special prescription drugs he's always telling us about. That's been his answer to everything lately..." scoffed Jean as she took another drag off of her cigarette.

"And who knows...They may not even work."

"After what happened last time we tried taking 'medications,' I wouldn't doubt it," said Jean as she sighed at their dilemma.

Ever since Scott and Jean had been at the institute, they had suffered severe psychological problems that few people ever knew about. Watching his parents die and living on the street for most of his childhood had left Scott with severe post traumatic stress disorder and chronic depression. Jean had spent the majority of her early life in an insane asylum after her parents completely disowned and abandoned her because of her mutant powers. There, she was misdiagnosed with numerous ailments and stuck in padded rooms around people who really were crazy. She was forced to absorb the thoughts and feelings of the truly mentally ill for years until the professor found her. Being abandoned by her parents and left to suffer in a mental hospital had left the young girl with having horrible hallucinations about her past, as well as severe problems with depression and generalized anxiety disorder. Add to that, the asylum she was sent to was more along the lines of a prison for the insane. Not all the guards there were very upstanding citizens and when faced with a pretty little redhead who was drugged halfway in to unconsciousness...Rape was almost common. And because of her powers she felt, saw, and heard everything, but could do nothing about it. The pain of others and the pain that she suffered only hurt more as time went on. It was so bad that neither of them really spoke for the first few months at the institute. They were both very traumatized...Distraught...And deeply depressed. They only began to deal with it when they became friends because they finally had someone to talk to and someone to understand. They shared the pain, the loss, and the turmoil of their past even though there were so many inner wounds that time could not heal.

From the beginning the Professor, Logan, and Storm were ill-equipped to handle such problems in young children. Intense counseling and therapy only went so far for them because of the serious mental scars that had been left by the past. They suffered deep depression, severe mental withdraw, and inert hallucinations about past events that would terrify and haunt them to no end. It didn't help with the fact that medications like Prozac and Zoloft, which were the drugs commonly used to combat such ailments, didn't work on them. Because Scott and Jean were both mutants and had unique body chemistry, the psychoactive drugs that they were given usually made things worse and ended up having horrible side effects that only added more strain to their health. The drugs caused intense headaches, stomach pains, drowsiness, and put undue strain on their heart and liver. The health problems ended up getting so bad that they both had to be rushed to the emergency room on multiple occasions.

In the end, they learned how to function as they both became close friends and learned to help each other through tumultuous times. It was here where they developed the powerful bond that they now share. However, few others understand them and how deep their love for each other really is. Helping each other cope was key in allowing them to live a semi-normal life. Through this they both ended up shutting their old feelings of bitterness and pain away so on the surface they could at least look normal. It was too painful to think about them, but lately...A surge of new nightmares had made it even harder to keep those old feelings from surfacing. Jean knew this and kept pondering as she began to stare off in to the lake, lost in thought.

"What about you Jean?" asked Scott as he flicked his spent cigarette butt in to the night, "How have you been holding up lately?"

This time, it was Jean's turn to sigh as she finished the last drag on her cigarette.

"Not so good...I almost lost it again after another one of Bobby's 'little miss perfect jokes' during a session two days ago."

"Lost it how?" asked Scott as he lit another cigarette along with Jean.

"Well, let's just say...He's lucky Logan walked in or I would have lobotomized his ass for all his bullshit," said Jean bitterly as she took a small bottle out of her pocket.

It turned out to be a small glass container of vodka. However, neither of them seemed to have much of a problem with this as she quickly opened it and took a fairly decent gulp.

"Where did you get that?" asked Scott.

"Logan's liquor cabinet," answered Jean as she offered him a drink, which Scott accepted, "Don't worry...With all the stuff he's got I doubt he'll notice."

As they took turns taking small shots of the vodka, they let the alcohol befuddle their minds. None of the others at the institute would have believed it if they hadn't seen it, but this was nothing new. When times were tough, they often sought escape from the bland, fake world that they were forced to mimic. It was surreal in a sense that they had to act one way all the time, yet feel another way in the shadows where nobody could see the real them.

"Man, if only the others could see us now," mused Jean as she finished the last drop of vodka.

"Yeah...They'd probably shit their pants," said Scott as he flicked his cigarette over the balcony, "But...Once a street kid...Always a street kid."

"The same goes for being a mental patient," added Jean as she moved in closer to him after she finished off her last cigarette.

Scott gently slipped his arm around her waist and squeezed her gently against his warmth, allowing his mind to finally relax after a tumultuous night. Jean rested her tired head against his shoulder as they both stared off in to the night.

"When did it get so hard Jean?" said Scott as he started to stroke her long red hair, "When did everything become so complicated?"

"I guess that's what happens when you live a lie around others...I wish it was easier, but..." Jean soon found herself trail off, for she couldn't think of anything else to help answer the questions that had plagued both her and Scott for so many years now.

"I don't know how much longer I can go on...Being somebody I'm not...Acting like fraud."

"We'll get through this...We've survived worse Scott."

"Yeah...That's for sure."

With those last words, Jean's gaze shifted back towards Scott's face. She couldn't see through the glasses...But she knew there was still pain in his eyes. It was just one of the many things they shared together...Thoughts, feelings, and pain as well. Few people knew the real Scott Summers and Jean Grey. And even fewer could ever understand the pain they felt.

"Scott, you know you can sleep in my room if it will help..." said Jean as Scott soon turned to meet her gaze.

For a moment he just stood there, staring in to her eyes...Lost in her beauty. Even with all things he had suffered in his life, being with Jean had always been the one thing that helped him cope. So many times, Jean had turned to Scott for help and Scott had turned to Jean. It was because of this, the love they shared was beyond anything the others could ever understand. Everyone else saw them as just a couple straight-arrows stuck in a daze of puppy love...But it was deeper than that. It was a lot more powerful...

"What about the others, Logan, and the Professor?" asked Scott instinctively, knowing the conclusions they would probably draw from that if they found out.

"Does it look like I give a damn what they think?" replied Jean.

Scott managed to laugh ever so briefly as he placed a gentle kiss upon her forehead. Not many others would have recognized this side of Jean...And not many others would recognize this side of Scott either. But none of that mattered now, as the young couple remained there on the balcony under the moonlight.

"Thanks Jean..."

"Anytime Scott..."

As they quietly made their way back to Jean's room, they hid the cigarettes and empty bottle of liquor, for tomorrow they would have to return to their perfect old selves. Neither of them ever looked forward to it, but in the end it would have to happen. It was supposedly their job to set an example...But the price of doing so was higher than Scott or Jean had ever suspected. However, that dreaded time when they would have to be something they're not again was set aside for the moment as they both climbed in to the bed and slipped beneath the warm sheets.

Jean soon felt Scott wrap his arms around her as they slowly relaxed their tired minds in the late hours of the night. As Scott lay on his back, Jean gently rested her head on his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart as he tried to go back to sleep. Through their mind-link, she could feel him struggling to forget the vivid nightmare that had plagued his sleep. Hoping to ease his fears, Jean placed a soft kiss on his cheeks and used the solid bond they shared to lull him to sleep.

"I love you..." she whispered gently as she relaxed in to his warmth.

"I love you too..." replied Scott as he held her closer in his arms.

The clock now read 1:30 AM. It seemed like an eternity since either of them had been able to sleep soundly with everything that plagued their lives. While Scott slowly nodded off once more, Jean stayed awake for a while longer as she continued to rest her head against his chest. It was becoming more and more common for them to share a bed lately as nightmares, depression, and panic attacks forced them to comfort each other in times of pain. It never got better anymore...It only got worse. At one point they believed they both thought they had put the past behind them in the last years of high school. It was here where they had to start acting like role models because of the new students that came in to the institute. While they had helped each other immensely to get through some of their psychological ailments, it was still hard to keep up the act in the face of things like school, Magneto, the Brotherhood, and Apocalypse. Lately, suppressing it had become much harder as the pressure they faced kept getting greater by the day.

As Jean thought about how they both were going to get through the next day, her thoughts drifted back towards how she and Scott had helped each other in the past. Even before they ever started dating, they helped each other when the going got tough. Whenever something happened, they stuck together through the problems that nobody else ever knew about. Even the Professor didn't know some of the secrets they kept locked away and only shared with each other. This was especially true after her disastrous relationship with Duncan Matthews. Nobody knew it...But her reasons for breaking up with him were a lot more serious than she was willing to talk about. Dating him had been a mistake that Jean had come to deeply regret. And as she thought about it, the memories of that fateful night began to play over again in her mind. They were the memories of the awful night when she realized the mistake she had made with Duncan...And the night she finally realized her true feelings for Scott.

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"Jean...Jean, come on. Please open up," said Scott as he stood behind her closed door like he had been for the better part of the last half hour.

Once again he tried to knock, but there was still no response. Jean had barricaded herself in her room late at night after returning home early from a date with Duncan. Scott had eagerly waited for her to come back...But he never could have suspected what happened after that. As soon as she stepped out of the car, she immediately ran away up towards her room...Avoiding anybody and everybody around her. Scott saw her face stained with tears and she refused to speak...Instead, she only sobbed. She had been on bad dates with Duncan before, but never had she come home this upset. He couldn't stand seeing her in so much pain, so he kept trying to get through to her...Wanting to help her with this.

"Jean...Something happened. I know you Jean. I know you better than anybody ever has, or ever will for that matter. Please...Let me in...You're my friend. I don't want to see you like this...Please."

Scott's words were getting desperate, but he never once considered leaving. He just kept trying as he stood outside her door. Then finally...He heard a small click, and the door was unlocked.

Slowly, Scott opened the door and entered Jean's room. She had left no lights on and her room was now in total darkness. Upon closing the door behind him...He walked over to her bed and saw her in a curled up position still crying a river of tears. Seeing the pained look on her face tore Scott up inside as he gently reached over and touched her shoulder.

"Jean...What happened? What did Duncan do?" asked Scott softly as moved in closer to her.

Jean just sobbed more as she stared off in to space with tears still welling up in her eyes. Whatever happened to her went beyond a mere fight. Scott had always known that Duncan Matthews was bad news. In his opinion, he didn't deserve to kiss the ground Jean walked upon. But whatever he had done to her now was worse than what he had done before.

Jean remained silent as Scott gently wiped the tears from her face, trying to help ease whatever pain she was feeling.

"Jean..."

"Duncan tried to rape me..." said Jean as she choked the words out.

Scott looked back in shock as her tear-stained eyes met his.

"I thought we were going out...But then...He drove me an empty parking lot. Then he...Grabbed me and..."

Jean's words devolved in to sobs as the fresh details of what happened went through her mind. They bought back many painful memories of what happened to her in the insane asylum...Memories that she had struggled so hard with over the years. And as the tears from these old, painful thoughts played over and over again in her head incessantly, Scott continued to caress her face as he tried to soothe her troubled soul.

"Shh...Its okay Jean...It's over now," said Scott softly.

Then, as Scott wiped away her tears, she took his hand and sat up.

"I had to punch him in the face to get him to stop...After that, he just yelled at me for the entire drive back to the mansion...Telling me what a worthless, prude little bitch I am."

The words Duncan had said during that fight still hung over the young telepath and the thoughts he projected weren't much better. Over and over again they played in her head, getting worse with each time. It only caused her to sob more as soon collapsed in to Scott's embrace.

"Don't listen to him Jean...He's wrong," said Scott as he let her cry her heart out in to his shoulder.

"But how could I have been so stupid?" said Jean as she kept trying to forget what happened on this awful night, "How could I not see past his stupid little act? Face it, Scott...I am worthless."

"Don't ever tell that to yourself, Jean...You aren't worthless."

"But he..."

However, Scott didn't let her finish. He knew she was feeling so low right now that she wouldn't stop until she forced herself to believe in what she was telling herself. And Scott didn't want that...He didn't want Jean to feel this kind of pain...She had felt enough in her life as it is. And he understood her...Better than anybody could ever begin to.

"Don't listen to Duncan...You know he's full of nothing but lies. Don't believe a word of them Jean...Because I know the truth. I know you're a lot more than that. I know because I know you Jean...I know you better than anybody. Please don't ever think you're worthless...Because you mean everything to me."

As Scott spoke these soothing words to Jean, a warm feeling came over their minds. It was like a gentle wave of calm that washed away the pain of the night for just one brief moment, so they could feel things that were truly real. And in feeling this, Jean finally realized something...She realized something she knew she should have realized a long time ago...But didn't because she was too insecure to admit it. It only caused more tears as she continued sob in Scott's arms.

"I'm sorry Scott...I'm so sorry I acted so stupid with Duncan. I...I'm sorry I hurt you. I should have listened to myself...I should have listened to you. I should have..."

Her words stopped there as she choked on her own emotions once more. But despite this, the gentle feeling in her head grew warmer, as it had in Scott. She never wanted this feeling to leave her...Not now, not ever.

"It's okay Jean...It's over now. I'm here...And I always will be. I promise..." said Scott as he let Jean cry her heart out in such a time of turmoil.

It was hard to describe the emotions that they both felt at that moment in the darkness of the night. It was strange that events so terrible could lead to moments like this...Moments when every warm thought and feeling that had been overshadowed by old feelings and memories...Arose from within to form a connection that went beyond anything that could be described with words. Jean wanted to live in this moment forever as her cries subsided and tears ceased. But she remained absorbed in Scott's embrace...Knowing that this feeling was pure...This feeling was real. And as Scott felt the girl he had spent the better part of his life with sink in to his arms...He managed say one last thing to her, one thing...That finally gave to two troubled teens a new feeling of peace.

"I love you..."

"I love you too..."

And with that, they met in a deep, passionate kiss.

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That one night was forever engrained in to Jean's memories. It was the most profound night of her life. It had been over a year since that night. And even though the world around them became more difficult to deal with, they still had each other to help them through it all.

Their relationship was by no means typical. While most of the others at the institute saw them in one way...There was a whole side that they never knew about. They didn't know that most of their dates weren't big, elaborate events...In fact, most of the time they were much more simplistic. And they usually ended up with them driving off to some secluded area where they could finally give up the incessant act of being perfect and let out all their frustration and bottled up feelings in to the dead of night. It was a side of them that they guarded so much that not even the Professor knew the extent of their inner pain. But among all these misconceptions about them and their love, the hardest one to deal with was the unending jokes that the others made about them and their supposed sex lives. While they had been dating for over a year now...They still hadn't had sex. They had tried and even come close a few times...But old, painful memories about their earlier experiences hindered them. On the times they tried, they usually ended with one of them feeling a sudden panic attack or anxiety surge. And as much as they wanted to...Getting through what had happened to them in the past was just too difficult.

But through this, it only made their relationship stronger. Jean no longer cared about what the others thought about her and Scott...Even though it was hard to ignore sometimes. None of them could ever understand how deep their love went. She didn't fully understand it herself...But in the end, she didn't need to. And as Jean looked back up at the sleeping Scott Summers, she rested her head on his chest and let the gentle sound of his heart and warmth of his mind through their link lull her to sleep...Still unsure of what the next day would bring for them.

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AN: Well, I hope all you Scott/Jean fans liked this chapter! I know it was a bit heavy on the fluff, but that's just to set the tone for what happens later on. I know this chapter went off on a few tangents about how they came together, but I just wanted to explain how they truly are. It took a while because Scott and Jean are so two dimensional in the cartoon, so it took a lot of background stuff on my part. Sorry if it wasn't too exciting, but don't worry...There are a few things that I have planned to compensate! I'm writing this story as a Scott/Jean tribute, so if you don't like them then I don't think you'll like the chapters I have planned. Well, other than that, what do you think? How do you like it so far? Please send your reviews to me via email or on the fanfiction website! I'd love to know and I'm open to all criticism! Thanks for reading and best wishes to you all!

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