FicWad

No Rain
Chapter 3: Living A Lie

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It was always a given that Scott and Jean were light sleepers. Nightmares, stress, and a slew of other complications always made it hard to get a decent nights rest. However, over the many years they had faced this, they had both learned to function somewhat normally despite the lack of sleep. It helped when they shared a bed, but given the watchful eyes of the other students and the Professor, that was not always possible.

It was around 6:30 AM when Scott began to stir from his sleep. He was still tired, but he had gotten used to that feeling by now. Jean was still sleeping in his arms with her head still resting against his chest. Not wanting to wake her, he lay there in her bed gently stroking her long, red hair. Last night had been hard on him and it was becoming far too common for the both of them. Nightmares made the nights bad while living a lie in the daytime made the days bad. It seemed that either way it was a struggle, but it only made him treasure times like this when he was with Jean and didn't have to worry about either.

Looking at the clock, he knew he would have to get back to his own room before the others woke up and found out. Scott didn't want to wake his girlfriend, but given the grip she had on him that seemed all but impossible.

'Jean...' he sent through their link, hoping to wake her gently.

The young woman's eyes soon fluttered as she felt his voice in her head.

"Sorry...But I'd better get back to my room before the others wake up."

There was a noticeable amount of disappointment in his voice, but they both knew it was better if nobody found out or they may make some irrational assumptions.

"Thanks again for helping me last night Jean...I know it's been getting a bit too common lately for the both of us."

"Anytime Slim," said Jean as she planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. "You've always helped me when I needed it...So it's only fair that I help you too."

Scott managed to smile as he kissed her back and made his way out of her room. The early morning sun was starting to creep through the windows and most of the institute residents would soon wake. Hoping that most of them were still sleeping Scott walked out of her room...But as soon as he did, he saw something out of the corner of his eye. Or more like...he saw someone.

Scott quickly turned his head, but in doing so the last thing he saw was Kitty and Tabitha quickly running away back down the hall giggling incessantly. Upon seeing this, a new feeling of dread came over him, for he knew what they were probably thinking.

'Oh shit,' thought Scott as he froze in place, wondering what would happen now that the two biggest mouths in the institute as seen him come out of Jean's room.

'What is it?' said Jean through their link upon hearing Scott's startled reaction.

'Kitty and Tabitha...They were up early.'

'Did they see you?' asked Jean wearily.

'Yeah...I think they did.'

Jean then rubbed the temples of her head, knowing the kind of headaches this would cause if those two spread the word like she knew they were going to do.

'Those two will tell everybody,' dreaded Jean as she just sat on her bed with a new sense of anxiety.

'I know...' agreed Scott as he let out a defeated sigh.

'So what do we do about it?'

Scott just stood and pondered for a brief moment, wondering how they were going to handle this.

'Honestly...I don't know.'

He knew that they probably wouldn't believe that he just slept in Jean's bed and nothing more. That and he worried what the Professor, Storm, and Logan might think. Usually, they were pretty good at keeping whatever late night excursions they went on secret. But now, because two nosy teenage girls had decided to get up early, they wouldn't be able to keep that secret any longer. They had hoped that they wouldn't find out like this...But now it had just grown more complicated.

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Down in the kitchen, Jean slowly stirred the last remaining chunks of her cereal in her bowl. Scott was upstairs taking a shower and so far, nobody had come in the kitchen yet for breakfast. Jean wasn't looking forward to confronting Kitty and Tabitha because she knew that they wouldn't believe her. She was psychic, but she didn't need any of her powers to know what they would assume. And it wouldn't be the first time she was hounded about her alleged sex life. After she and Scott had gotten together, constant teasing about what they do during their private time never ceased. She tried to hide it...Because every time she was teased by something like that it tore her up inside and actually caused her inner pain since they related to issues that she had been struggling with for years.

Not wanting to stick around for the morning crowd, Jean put her bowl in the sink and hoped to make it back to her room without running in to anybody. But as soon as she turned around, she was greeted by her two nosy friends Kitty and Tabitha.

"Morning Jean...Sleep well?" asked Tabitha with a sly grin on her face.

Jean took a deep breath...For she knew it was time to be little miss perfect again for another day.

"Yeah, I slept okay," answered the young redhead, hiding the feelings of anxiety in her voice and locking them away for another day.

"I'll bet," said Kitty with a laugh, "So..."

Jean knew what Kitty was thinking, she was practically broadcasting her thoughts over a loudspeaker in her head. Jean struggled to shut them out, but they were just too loud to for her to filter.

"So what?" asked Jean, trying to sound indifferent to what she knew Kitty wanted to talk about.

"Come on Jean...You know what I mean," said Kitty as the grin on her face grew wider.

"Actually, no I don't," replied Jean as she tried to make her leave, but was soon blocked by Tabitha who was purposely standing in the way.

Jean struggled to resist the urge to fling her back with her telekinesis, but it was hard because she truly didn't want to go any further with these two...Knowing where it would lead.

"Come on Jean, you can't lie to us. We may not be psychic, but we aren't stupid," said Tabitha.

"What are you talking about?" asked Jean, who wished she was anywhere but here at this point now.

"Jean...Don't deny it. We saw Scott come out of your room earlier. We know he was in there."

"So what?" said Jean, who knew she was playing dumb, but couldn't think of any other way to get around this.

"Come on Jean...Stop beating around the bush," said Tabitha who let out a laugh upon saying that last part, "You know what we mean."

That was becoming painfully obvious as Jean was forced to hear more of her thoughts because she wouldn't stop projecting so loudly. A sharp pain now surged in her head as her efforts to suppress her other half and filter out their thoughts put a strain on her mind. She didn't want to give them anything else to work with, so she decided to just say nothing. However, in the minds of her two presumptuous friends, that only confirmed their suspicions.

"Jean, come on...We're all girls here," said Kitty, "Give us some details."

As Jean tried to think of a response, something strange began to happen in the depths of her mind. While she stood before her two friends...A sudden image flashed through her mind. It sent a sharp sting through her head, but Jean managed to shake it off ever so briefly.

"So how was he?" asked Tabitha with a smirk.

Just then, another image flashed in Jean's head...This time it was more vivid. The image before her was a brief picture...A picture of a memory. Suddenly, she felt as though she wasn't in the kitchen anymore...Instead she felt as though she was in a cold, dark room with padded walls. She saw the image of a younger version of herself, bound like an animal and halfway comatose from numerous drugs. Then, she saw the picture of two men standing over her prone form...Fondling her body in many sick ways. Each man took turns tearing off a piece of the dirty gown that covered her frail, undernourished body. Jean was felt all the dirty, sick feelings as these heinous men started touching, scratching, and grabbing her while she lay helpless on the dirty floor.

'Shut the fuck up you little bitch! Quit squirming!!!' yelled one of the men as they hit the young redhead forcefully as she let out an agonizing scream as they both started raping her.

She felt the rush of fear from countless thoughts zooming through her head. Jean tried to tell her self that this wasn't real...That this was just another hallucination. But it just felt too real. And as soon as it became clearer, she knew what was happening.

'Oh no...Not this...Not now,' she dreaded as she tried to shut them out.

However, the two other girls in the kitchen seemed completely oblivious to their friend's disposition and took her silence as confirmation to their suspicions.

"Jean...What's the big deal anyway? I mean, you and Scott have been, like, dating for a year now. We know what happens to two people who date and spend a lot of time together. What's so wrong with sharing your knowledge of the adult world with us?" reasoned Kitty.

However, for Jean...More unpleasant images surged through her mind as she struggled to keep herself in the real world. But it was as if her consciousness was shifting between two places and times, and she had no control over which one her mind was in. The more images she saw, the more vivid they became...As memories ranging from incessant screams in to the night, to all out rape caused her stomach to churn and her head to ache. Her head started to surge and throb as feelings of being violated in the worst ways imaginable flashed through her mind. She heard her own yells and screams as the sick orderlies continued to beat and rape her young body.

However, through all this strange and uncontrolled phenomena...Jean managed to keep her usual appearance to the two girls before her, but was unable to stop the images. And through her struggle...She managed to speak once more.

"Nothing happened you two...Please, just drop it," said Jean, almost as if she was begging for them to stop.

Kitty then said something back...But Jean hadn't heard it. More images, feelings, and screams just kept on echoing through her head as she tried to get them to stop them, but to no avail. She just kept trying to hold herself back as she struggled to take control of herself once again. But no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't empty her head of these unpleasant thoughts. Just then...Someone else walked in to the kitchen.

"Mornin' ladies," said Logan as he walked in with the paper.

"Oh, hi Mr. Logan," said Kitty as her attention was finally diverted from Jean.

Using Logan's presence to her advantage, Jean made a quick escape past Tabitha and made her way back up to her room.

"What's with Redd this morning?" said Logan, as he saw Jean run out of the room as if it was on fire.

"Beats me...Didn't get a lot of sleep I guess," said Tabitha trying to hid the smirk on her face.

Logan only looked at her more, suspiciously...Wondering what she exactly meant by that. But he was more concerned with Jean. When he entered the room, he could smell the sweat and anxiety pouring off of her like a waterfall. What could make Jean feel like that was anybody's guess. But something told Logan, that there was more to it than that. He had practically raised Jean and Scott since they came to the institute at age 12. He knew the both of them better than any of the students could ever hope to...But that only made him worry more. He still remembered those early years with them...And they were times that he, and Scott and Jean for that matter, would rather forget...

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Logan's timing had been a godsend to Jean. But even as she fled from the kitchen, she could still hear the thoughts that Kitty and Tabitha had projected so loudly in to her head.

'Look at her...Dark circles under the eyes, a true sign of a total lack of sleep. She and Scott were so fucking!'

'I don't know why Jean has to be so uptight about her and Scooter. She should feel lucky that she gets to slam a guy like that! I bet he kept her up all night long!'

Jean finally made it in to her room and quickly shut the door behind her. She then fell against the wall and her legs failed to support her as she sank to the ground. The images in her head where finally starting to stop...But she couldn't stop herself from hyperventilating. Her breathing became more erratic as she started to feel lightheaded from everything that had just happened. Soon, tears began to form in her eyes as the memory of he images she felt still hung over her like a bad dream.

"Why..." said Jean as she kept on breathing in short gasps, "Why can't they just leave me alone?"

Jean then closed her eyes in an effort to lock it all away. But it wasn't working. With every passing day, keeping up the act that she had been a part of for years now was getting harder and harder on her. She wished she could just let it all out...But she couldn't. And as she tried to make sense out of everything...She sensed a presence standing outside of her room. Knowing who it was, she let him in...Wanting nothing more than to have him at her side. No words were said as she soon felt Scott's arms wrap around her waist. She felt him place a soft kiss on her head as he gently rocked her against his body...Hoping to help calm her down. And as her breathing returned to normal...The images finally stopped.

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Scott and Jean had made it a mission to avoid anyone and everyone at all costs for the rest of the morning. Knowing Kitty and Tabitha would spread the word of what they saw to both the girls and boys of the institute, they knew the kind of scrutiny that they would face. What concerned them even more was what the Professor would think once he found out. However, little could be done for now. Instead, they were both left to wait for whatever aftermath from this little incident came.

Scott didn't look forward to seeing the others as he entered the weight room in the lower levels of the institute. After what happened to Jean earlier, he knew it wouldn't be pleasant. He had endured jokes and assumptions about his sex life from the guys before...And they never knew the kind of hurt they inflicted on him from bringing back so many unpleasant memories and relapses in his psychological ailments. Feeling anxious about the rest of the day and disgruntled about the future prospects of what could happen with the others...Scott began to relentlessly hit a punching bag in order to let out all of his frustration.

It wasn't long before he lost himself in his own little world...Letting out all the pain and anger caused by acting like such a boy scout around the others when deep down, that wasn't who he really was. With punch after punch, Scott began to grunt harder as he made the chains that held the heavy bag up rattle with his ever increasing feelings of self-loathing. Sweat soon began to trickle down the side of his face as she punched harder at the bag, pretending that it represented everything he hated about himself and his life. Then...He heard a familiar 'bamf' noise and a new presence came near him.

"Hey, ease up on the bag mien friend. It's not healthy," said Kurt as he approached Scott, unaware of what was going on in his mind.

Forcing himself to stop, Scott turned to face his friend and catch his breath.

"Hey Kurt," said Scott, making himself sound like there was nothing amiss.

"Hey nothing man, vhere have you been all morning?" asked Kurt.

Scott hesitated to answer that, for he couldn't really think of a good excuse. Knowing Kitty and Tabitha, they had probably told Kurt about what they had seen earlier. And being the jokester that Kurt was, it wasn't very encouraging.

"Just around and about..." said Scott after a brief moment, hoping Kurt would buy it.

Just then, somebody else entered the weight room. This time it was Bobby Drake. He was also one of the institute's jokesters, and at sometimes he was worse than Kurt. The resident Iceman had a knack for not thinking before he spoke, and since he probably heard the news by now it wasn't too promising for Scott.

"Hey guys, how's it goin?" greeted Bobby as he walked over towards Kurt and Scott.

"Not bad, just asking Scott vhere he vas all morning," responded Kurt, who to Scott's dismay, hadn't accepted his answer.

"Yeah, where were you man? You weren't at breakfast and we didn't see you in the halls," said Bobby as he and Kurt suppressed a smirk.

"Well...I didn't get a lot of sleep last night," said Scott, but that only made the other two boys laugh under their breath as they took it as confirmation of Kitty's rumor that they had heard earlier.

"I'll bet," said Bobby with an incredulous look as he leaned against the punching bag that Scott had been hitting, "So what kept you up all night?"

"More like who," added Kurt under his breath, but Scott had still heard him.

Scott was beginning to regret his answer earlier, and tried to think of a way out. He had to keep himself calm, knowing he'd run the risk having a panic attack. His mind grew shot from weariness as he began to feel uneasy the longer he stalled.

"I just couldn't sleep, okay? I've been stressing about a lot of things lately," said Scott, trying not to sound irritated.

"Stress? Scott it's summertime," said Bobby in an unbelieving tone, "What more could you be stressing about other than danger room sessions? Come on...We know there's another reason."

"Ja man! Ve're all guys here, you can tell us!" said Kurt, not believing the obvious lies in Scott's words.

"There's nothing to tell," said Scott, wishing he could just disappear at this point.

"Dude...It's no big deal!" said Bobby who didn't know why Scott was denying this, "The whole school knows."

"So come on man...Give us some details!" said Kurt as he and Bobby continued to dig deeper, not knowing the stress they were causing.

"What details?" said Scott, who decided to try playing dumb, but knew it probably wouldn't convince these two at this point.

"Scott...Come on. Kitty AND Tabitha saw you come out of Jean's room this morning. You both look like you haven't gotten a lot of sleep. We may not be as old or as wise, but we're not stupid," said Bobby.

"Oh, and you're going to believe something that came from Kitty and Tabitha?" said Scott sarcastically, hoping to get them to drop it.

"Well, vhy not? Those two have been known to give some nuggets of truth every once and awhile. And come on, you and Jean have been dating for over a year now! You've had to have done it at some point!"

The bad feeling in the pit of Scott's stomach began to get worse as he knew they wouldn't leave him alone until they heard exactly what they wanted to hear.

'Damn it!' thought Scott in his mind as he hesitated again, 'Why can't they just leave me alone!'

Just then, a voice came over the loudspeaker.

"Attention X-men. Please report to the danger room for the morning session. New recruits should report outside to Hank for an outside activity he has planned."

A wave of relief came over Scott as he heard that announcement. He had never been so happy to hear about a danger room session.

"Aw man," said Kurt, "Vell, I guess ve'll pick this up later mien friend. See you in the danger room!"

And with that, the blue mutant teleported out of the room.

"Don't think this is over man. See you around!" said Bobby as he walked out with a noticeable look of disappointment.

As soon as they both left, Scott let out an exasperated sigh. He soon found himself punching the bag again, this time with more ferocity than before. With every punch he let out an angry grunt of frustration about being hounded for something that he didn't like to think about. He kept on punching even as the chain that held the bag up began to rattle. Soon, Scott fell short of breath as the sweat now poured down his face. Soon, he found himself leaning on the swinging bag for support as he clutched his stomach in pain. He was suddenly overcome with the feeling as if he had drunk expired milk. His legs almost gave way as he grew light headed. Scott forced himself to take long, deep breaths as he waited for the pain to subside. Eventually, he regained his balance and staggered off towards the danger room...Knowing that he would still have to live the lie.

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AN: Well, that's it for now! I know its a little ansgty and graphic at some points, but then again that's kind of the premise of this fic. Stay tuned for the next chapter, where things don't get any easier for Scott and Jean. There are still some things left to tell, and I hope you all like it! Please, tell me what you think of this story! Send your reviews to me via email, or post them on the fanfiction website! I'm open to all constructive criticism! Thanks for reading and best wishes to you all!

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