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Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Harry Potter Payback Time

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• Harry Potter Payback Time

  (#) cymrualteran 2011-03-03

  To be honest with you mate as you can see by the ratings the story has recieved this is really really bad, please go and take a look at other popular stories and see how they are written, your spelling and gramar are so bad it makes people go "hell no" and go to another story the plot made no sense and some of the words were just not something that word be in a proper story im not trying to be mean but if you want to be serious about this learn from other stories

  Author's response

  this was a first attempt I made in awhile so Iam a little rusty and it was not beta'd but that is being corrected

• Harry Potter Payback Time

  (#) Anon-E-Mouse 2011-03-03

  Looks interesting, but you need to improve the look and spacing of the text.
  
  It looks almost like a complete wall of text, put a blank line between paragraphs and a couple between sections. Try breaking a paragraph into more than one section.
  
  Try reading the piece out loud only taking a breath at each full stop/period and not pausing until you reach the end of the paragraph.
  
  Put quote marks (" speech ")around character speech.
  
  Separate special effects / sounds from the rest of the paragraph (unless it's made by something being described in the sentence).
  
  I've not used the FicWad editor / uploader so I don't know what you can do now it has been uploaded, but if you can spend a few minutes to just tidy up the presentation of the piece this will improve the readability.

  Author's response

  thank you for your positive feedback I had not had my beta reader look at it before posting the story that problem has been rectified so take another look and tell me what you think

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