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Before Ian could step around the desk and discover me, Cutler stood up rather quickly, accidentally stepping on my hand. I bit my tongue hard as pain shot through my body. Cutler glanced down and hurried stepped off my hand. He approached Ian and looked up at him, asking, "And what of the chest? Is there any news of that or the compass?"

Ian shook his head, "No, Sir." Cutler nodded and held his ground, preventing Ian from getting behind the desk and discovering me. Finally, Cutler said, "I have another mission for you, Mr. Mercer. Track down Mr. Norrington and bring him to me. I wish to speak to him immediately. The sooner, the better." Cutler gave him a meaningful look that meant get going.

Ian hesitated, but nodded before he said, "Do you know what's become of my wife? I see that the house is being rebuilt, but I didn't find her anywhere inside." Cutler kept a straight face as he replied, "Your wife? Ah, I am very sad to inform you of this, but she was found in the ruins. I believe her to be dead. My condolences to you. At least this new assignment will keep you busy."

Ian looked a bit shocked, but shrugged it off quite quickly, saying, "Oh, well, she was a bitch anyways. I'll find a new woman when I get back. This time, she better be prettier and more submissive. There's nothing I hate more than a disobedient woman. What about yourself, Lord Beckett? Haven't you ever thought about a wife and children?"

Cutler coughed to dismiss the subject and pointed towards the door, "I have work that must be done in a few hours. Thank you for the news on Mr. Norrington and friends. I will expect you to track them down as soon as possible, no?" Mercer nodded and headed towards the door, nodding as he ducked out of it, "Yes, of course, Sir. I will bring him here immediately."

As soon as Ian had disappeared out of the door, I crawled out from under the desk and sat against it, looking very sad. I hated the fact how Ian had said I was a disobedient, ugly bitch. He had abused me, what did he expect me to do? Submit to all forms of abuse possible and let it kill me? I had been fighting for my life for god's sake! I hated Ian.

A few tears dripped down my cheeks as I huddled against the desk, feeling sad. Cutler looked down at me and held out his arms, "Baby..." I looked up at him with my watery eyes and didn't move. Sighing, Cutler leaned down and picked up the little ball I had curled myself into and cradled me in his arms. He set me on his lap and held me close.

"What's wrong?" Cutler asked me gently. "I would've thought you would be happy about this?" I frowned and shrugged. Cutler, knowing that I was obviously upset about something, leaned down to my ear and said, "Tell me what's bothering you. It will help. Let me guess, you're upset about what Ian called you. Believe me, you're not ugly or a bitch."

"But I am, Cutler, I am a bitch," I protested. I certainly felt like a bitch. Everyone had called me that save for Cutler. Even my best friend, Elizabeth, had turned against me. As I cried, I found another question to ask, "What about what Ian said? About you? Will you do it? I mean, it makes sense and I know you'll want to have children eventually..."

Cutler raised his eyebrows, and gave me a confused look. Not getting how he could possibly not get what I was saying, I added, "Are you going to get a wife, Cutler? Aren't you going to have children?" Cutler hesitated for the longest time and that immediately made me know that something was off. I should've expected Cutler to marry, but I still wanted him all for myself.

"I don't know, Jenna," Cutler admitted, looking confused. "I can't think of any women I want, save for you. I can't marry you as you're already married, but I am expected to have children. After all, I have to keep the Beckett name is history." Cutler sighed and tightened his grip on me, obviously unsure of what to do as he kissed my forehead.

"I'd have them," I insisted, looking up into his eyes. "I'd have all your babies. We could have as many as you wanted..." Cutler blinked down at me and gave me a wry smile, "You're not my wife, so they'd be considered bastard children. And secondly, I don't think you could have children. You're too unhealthy. You haven't been bleeding for years, have you?"

I looked down and thought about this. Cutler was right; I had stopped bleeding about the time when I stopped eating. I made no reply and just stared intently at the floor. I would do anything to pop out Cutler's beautiful blue-eyed babies. Cutler seemed to know this, but he wanted an answer from me since he tilted my chin up and insisted, "Have you?"

Not seeing any point in hiding it, I shook my head and said, "No." Cutler nodded and replied, "Well, we're going to have to get you healthy and eating again if you want to be having babies. Listen, Jenna, I should be straightforward with you." There was a long silence as I waited for Cutler to speak. He gulped and then said quietly, "I am getting married."

The next few weeks passed in the most awkward silence. I was very upset at Cutler for getting married. I knew he needed to and that it was his duty, but I also knew that I was the one who loved him more than anyone and if he was getting married, it should be me. So what if I couldn't have children just yet? At least he would have a woman who loved him.

Unfortunately, none of that mattered. All that really mattered was that how in the end, Cutler would be married and I would have no place to go. There would be no more trips to Cutler's house or office, no more quick lovemaking sessions, and no more loving words whispered in my ear. All that would be gone and in the past. I could never get it back.

Over the last few weeks, I had let Cutler nurse me back to health for the most part. To be honest, I was too stunned and shocked to really resist. I just didn't care anymore. When he tried to spoon food into my mouth, I accepted it without complaint. My ribs no longer showed and I wasn't nearly as bony as before. Cutler said I looked much better, but I still didn't care.

Today, Cutler told me that we had to go back to his office and I would have to be returned to Ian. He obviously couldn't keep me around since he was getting married. Knowing better, I didn't protest and just nodded. Currently, I was sitting on the bed looking down at my feet and feeling very depressed. I hadn't cried yet and was doing my best not to.

"Hey," Cutler said, coming into the room and sitting besides me. I simply nodded my head in acknowledgment to him and didn't really reply. Cutler sighed at my attitude and stood back up again, asking, "Why don't we get you cleaned up before you go back to Ian? I got you a bath going." He held out a hand for me to take and tried to meet my eyes.

I didn't let him. I continued staring down at the ground and shrugged. Sliding off the bed, I avoided taking his hand and stalked off towards the living room. Cutler's blue eye flashed with hurt and he looked like he was going to say something, but after a few minutes passed, he shut his mouth again and followed me out to the parlor. That was fine as I saw no reason to talk to him.

After arriving in the parlor, I stripped out of my dress and put a foot hesitantly in the tub. Luckily, the water was warm and it felt nice against my skin. I stepped all the way into the tub. Feeling eyes on me, I turned to see Cutler looking over my body. When I turned, he immediately looked away and blushed as if he were embarrassed to see me naked.

I didn't get it to be honest. Cutler had seen me naked so many times before and now he was suddenly embarrassed about my nudity? It didn't make any sense at all. Alright, true, my body had changed a bit. As I started eating again, I got curves in my hips and my breasts got bigger and much more womanly. I did look so much more like a woman now and no longer like a little girl. My pubic hairs had started to grow back and the only signs of my prior abuse was the burn on my back. Well, and the scars on my side from the candle wax incident. That hadn't healed up very well at all, but would could I do about it? Nothing.

I sat down in the tub and dipped my hair underneath the water. The water engulfed me completely and felt nice on my bare skin. I could still feel Cutler watching me from the sofa. Standing up, he raised an eyebrow at me and asked, "Mind if I join you?" Truth be told, I did mind, but it would be far too rude to say that. So I merely shrugged and minded my own business.

Cutler stripped and I did my best not to watch. Unfortunately, sometimes not even the best attempts work, and I ended up watching Cutler out of the corner of my eye. He was so beautiful, there simply were no other words for him. My eyes traveled up and down his smooth flesh and focused on his intimate parts. God, I wanted him inside me so bad, but what was I suppose to do?

Cutler splashed into the tub next to me. We both sat there naked and wanting each other, but neither of us dared to make a move. I mean, what could I do? Cutler was getting married soon. I couldn't just go around fucking him even if I really wanted to. Distance was best. After today, I wouldn't ever set eyes on Cutler again. Well...supposedly.

I'm not quite sure how long we sat there in silence. To me, it seemed like an eternity. It was torture to look at Cutler naked and know that he was off limits. It made me want to scream and cuss and totally lose it. However, don't ask me how but somehow, I managed to keep cool and eventually said, "I think I'll be getting out now."

Cutler nodded and watched me get out. He stepped out as well and we both stood naked and dripping in front of each other. I looked around for a towel, but there was none to be seen. For the first time ever, I felt embarrassed in front of Cutler. Everything about me looked bad. I didn't like the curves of my hips or the way my breasts had gotten bigger. I was ugly.

Feeling self conscious, I wrapped my arms around my chest and stood shivering as I asked, "Don't you have some towels around here somewhere, Cutler?" Cutler nodded, but made no mood to get them. Frowning, I looked up to see what was taking him so long. He was looking between my legs, which totally figured. Annoyed, I pulled them together and gave him a meaningful look.

However, instead of getting the towels like he should be doing, Cutler took a step closer to me and murmured, "Jenna..." I took a step backwards and said an emotionless, "What?" Cutler looked up at me and closed the distance between us with one easy stride. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me passionately all over the mouth. His tongue ran over my lips and he pressed his body against me. God, I felt like I was going to die. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place again. What to do?

When I didn't respond or kiss him back, Cutler took a step back from me and searched my eyes with his gorgeous blue ones. I tried to keep mine emotionless. It was so hard not to break down when I felt so miserable. When Cutler saw that I didn't respond to his affection anymore, he bit his lip and looked like he was going to cry.

He quickly took a step backwards and turned to hide his face from me. And oh god, save me, because I knew I was going to do a bad thing. I couldn't keep it inside anymore. I couldn't just let Cutler go like that. I ran after him and grabbed his wrist, "Cutler?" Cutler stopped and turned towards me with watery blue eyes. A few tears had already slipped down his cheeks.

There was no pity for him in my eyes. I glared and took a few steps forward so we would have been eye to eye if I was a few inches taller. Hatred filling my eyes, I hissed, "How could you do this to me? How could you? I loved you and I thought you loved me, but it was all a lie. A big fat, fucking lie. I fucking hate you, Cutler Beckett."