Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > My Name is Violet Rage
Relief.
I oddly felt relief when Party said this.
My instincts say stop in place and stare a little while, but… I looked at Party, shaking my head. “Please don’t say that, Party,” I said, speaking solemnly. “There’s too much to make changes, too much to end it all…” I trailed off, looking at Party’s half-desperate, half-sad face.
“Vi, don’t you know how much I have already thought of that these past few days?” Party asked me the rhetorical question, speaking softly. “I’ve made up all these scenarios in my head, but each one of them ends the same: me loving you, and you loving me back.” Party said that last bit quietly, almost to make me strain to hear it, but I had heard it so well it was as if Party had spoken in my ear, even though he was two feet away from me, his hands in the pockets of his grey jeans.
I looked down to the ground, willing and pleading my inner conscious to say something. Tell him the truth, Vi, it said, but I didn’t know if I wanted Party to know quite yet. I looked back at Party, his eyes telling me they were expecting a reaction from me.
I sighed, and right as I was about to tell Party the truth, I spilled my guts on the ground below me. I blinked, shocked at my reaction that I wasn’t expecting. The worst thought then came to my mind: I was pregnant. I shook my head, not wanting to believe that at all. I can’t be pregnant, I just can’t be.
Party was watching me as I puked over the dusty ground, and when I finished, he came over and began to rub my back, soothingly and in a comforting way. “Are you feeling all right, Vi?” he asked, looking at me, still bent over the ground.
I looked up at Party, directly in his eyes. Fear sat in my eyes, and I think I alarmed Party with my reaction to the vomit, as he pulled me away from the ground and walked me to my love. He sat me down in the passenger’s seat, and walked around to the back of my love, returning with a canteen of water. “Party…” I managed to strangle out before he pressed his soft lips to my vomit-caked ones. There was no tongue action or anything, just a tender kiss.
Party backed away from the kiss first, my eyes still closed, but opening slowly. I smiled at him as he smiled at me and sat next to me in my love. “I love you, Gerard Party Poison Way,” I said to Party, using his full and Killjoy name together. I shut my eyes and leaned my head against his shoulder, watching the horizon peacefully. It was noon, and the sun was directly overhead, but a rare breeze was blowing through the world, stirring up dust and whipping hair around. I smiled at the sky and the dust, knowing there was nothing else for me but this in life.
Party put his hand on my head and began stroking my hair. “I love you too, Jennifer Violet Rage Cosby,” he said, and pulled my lips to his in another tender kiss. I desperately wanted some tongue action, but I understood I probably tasted like vomit.
I broke away first, thinking I wanted some air and light. I looked at Party, who seemed understanding. “Party…” I began again, but Party shushed me with a finger over my lips.
“You don’t have to tell me anything,” Party said, and I grew unnerved.
“Party, I think I may possibly be pregnant.” There, it was out in the open. I looked at Party to my right, who had gone pale. I took a sip of the water from the canteen, and fiddled with the lid as Party sat, thinking with his eyes closed.
Party finally spoke. “Well, that was direct,” he said, not trying to make a joke, but it sounded like one. I looked at Party, who was watching me play with the canteen lid. “How do you think…?” he asked, trying not to beat around the bush.
I sighed, knowing this was not going to be easy. “I think it might have been Tim when he got me back in Battery City last night,” I said quietly, not wanting to get Party angry.
Party was still watching me fiddle with the lid as he spoke. “What are we going to do then?”
I looked at Party, worried. If it was Tim’s child, I didn’t want it. It was his. But the best irony would be to raise it as a proper Killjoy, knowing about their evil genetic father and loving their dad. I began to smile at Party, and he knit his eyebrows together, trying to figure out what I was thinking. “Maybe we should raise the kid and make it a Killjoy, just like us. They would hate Tim and BLI, but love us and the Killjoys, even though it’s a BLI baby,” I said, growing excited at all the things we would do for the baby; giving them their own ray gun, letting them master the art of silence, running and target practice…
“Vi-o-let,” Party said, moving his hand in front of my face. “You went all astronaut on me. How do we even know this baby will survive? What if it doesn’t? What if it turns out like it’s father?”
I blinked at all the questions, not knowing the answers. I felt tears grow behind my eyes, threatening to spill over. I know it was hormones, but seriously, I was a weeping willow, erm… Violet. “I don’t know,” I finally said, looking at the ground, tears threats again.
Party rubbed my back like he was before. “We’ll figure something out, Violet. Just for now, please tell me you aren’t trekking to Mexico,” Party said, and I looked into his eyes, mine brimming with tears, and his brimming with sad worriness.
I smiled at Party weakly and hugged him around the waist, not wanting to let go. “I wouldn’t. Ever,” I said, and gave Party a squeeze. He smiled, and I remembered there were two cars, and two people. “Um, Party?”
“Hmm?”
“How are we going to do this?”
Party gave me a weird look.
“How are we going to get home when there’s two of us, two cars, and me not wanting to be alone in my truck?”
Party nodded and got up, walking around to the back of my love, past the vomit on the ground. I trailed Party, watching what he was doing with curiosity. Party opened the trunk and dug around for a bit, returning to the outside world with a sturdy looking chain and two hooks. “You’re truck has a trailer hitch, right?”
I nodded and took the chain from Party, walking to the back of my truck. I pulled the hitch out from its hiding spot I had welded for it, and attached the rope to the hitch. “Go drive your car around, I stick it onto this sucker and we can go.”
Party nodded and walked off to my love, me watching. I looked at the back of my love, finally seeing it for the first time. ‘LOOK ALIVE SUNSHINE’ was painted on the bumper in pink letters, and I instantaneously realized that was a Dr. Death Defying quote. The California tag read ‘4 XOX 575’, and I judged I wasn’t the only one trying to remember it. More Dr. Death Defying stickers littered the bumper, and a brown grack was on the right side of the bumper. In between the rear lights was a clown sticker with an X below it, but I didn’t recognize that from anything. “Hey Party,” I said, trying to get his attention.
“What, love?”
I smiled, being referred to as ‘love’. “What’s the clown sticker on the back of my love?”
“What clown sticker? Last time I checked, I was sticker-free,” Party said, straining to see his back. I laughed at his poor excuse of a joke, and pointed to the sticker on the back of my love. Party got out of my love and walked to the back of it, taking one glance at the sticker and cursing, ripping it off the car.
I looked at Party, wondering what was happening.
“Grab your stuff and jump in your truck. It was a BLI sticker. I think they’ve been tracking me,” Party said as his jumped in shotgun of my truck. I hopped in my truck too, revving the engine and speeding away from Mexico and the Black. “We’ve only got so long before they find us, so if you can, pack up your tree and we’ll get away from Zone 4 as soon as possible,” Party said, glancing out the rear view mirror, clearly paranoid.
I leaned over and rubbed his shoulder. “We’re going to be fine, Party,” I said as I heard a ray gun blast whiz past my truck. “Fuck! Shoot their fucking heads off!” I yelled at Party, and handed him my gun. “Aim for the arms!”
Party did as I told him to, and knocked over the Dracs leaning out of Korse’s car, shooting at us. I hit the truck’s steering wheel horn, expecting NOS. I didn’t get any, remembering how Party had used all of it up yesterday morning. “Shit, Party, we’re out of NOS!” I yelled, putting pedal to metal as Party began shooting at the driver of Korse’s car, making the car swerve behind us and lose speed. The car caught on something on the road and swerved, jumping over the ground and beginning a death roll into the desert. Party shot at the car again, and hopped back in my truck, smiling.
“I knew learning how to shoot tires was a good idea,” he said, still smiling. I looked at him and smiled back, rather tiredly though. Party noticed this, as he was trying to get over me and begin driving back to my tree, resting my head against the passenger’s door.
I smiled at Party and shut my eyes, wanting nothing more than a nap and some food. I felt Party rub my shoulder, and I drifted into a sleep full of dreams with Party and I raising this kid, making sure they get the very best Killjoy experience ever. The kid was a girl, a girl named Bandit. Bandit had rust hair, like me, but Party’s kind eyes and his warm smile. Nothing about Bandit was like Tim, and that was good. She wouldn’t grow up to be like her real father, ass hole Tim.
I felt Party lightly shaking me as I began to dream Bandit as a kindergartener, and I opened my eyes, smiling. We were at my tree, the guys’ shadows dancing inside. I shut my eyes, savoring the peace, and stepped out of my truck with Party, slamming the door so the guys would know I was back again. I guessed right that the guys would hear me, because Kobra Kid came rushing out of the tree, worry painting “The Scream” on his face.
“Where in fuck’s name have you two been?!” Kobra asked frantically, looking from Party, to me, and back to Party, repeat. “You know how worried I was?” he said, giving Party and I a bear hug, which made me tense up a little.
“Kobra, don’t worry, nothing bad happened to us while we were gone. Now, Korse on the other hand…” Party smirked, and I told the story to Kobra and the guys.
Jet Star jumped in the air, fist first. “Yeah! That’ll show that piece of shit to mess with us!”
“Jet, it’s not like he’s dead. He’s a robot, remember?” Ghoul said, looking at me smiling. “What the hell are you smiling at?” he asked me, annoyed at my sunshine.
I sighed a happy sigh. “Guys… There might be a seventh person in this group before next year is over.”
I oddly felt relief when Party said this.
My instincts say stop in place and stare a little while, but… I looked at Party, shaking my head. “Please don’t say that, Party,” I said, speaking solemnly. “There’s too much to make changes, too much to end it all…” I trailed off, looking at Party’s half-desperate, half-sad face.
“Vi, don’t you know how much I have already thought of that these past few days?” Party asked me the rhetorical question, speaking softly. “I’ve made up all these scenarios in my head, but each one of them ends the same: me loving you, and you loving me back.” Party said that last bit quietly, almost to make me strain to hear it, but I had heard it so well it was as if Party had spoken in my ear, even though he was two feet away from me, his hands in the pockets of his grey jeans.
I looked down to the ground, willing and pleading my inner conscious to say something. Tell him the truth, Vi, it said, but I didn’t know if I wanted Party to know quite yet. I looked back at Party, his eyes telling me they were expecting a reaction from me.
I sighed, and right as I was about to tell Party the truth, I spilled my guts on the ground below me. I blinked, shocked at my reaction that I wasn’t expecting. The worst thought then came to my mind: I was pregnant. I shook my head, not wanting to believe that at all. I can’t be pregnant, I just can’t be.
Party was watching me as I puked over the dusty ground, and when I finished, he came over and began to rub my back, soothingly and in a comforting way. “Are you feeling all right, Vi?” he asked, looking at me, still bent over the ground.
I looked up at Party, directly in his eyes. Fear sat in my eyes, and I think I alarmed Party with my reaction to the vomit, as he pulled me away from the ground and walked me to my love. He sat me down in the passenger’s seat, and walked around to the back of my love, returning with a canteen of water. “Party…” I managed to strangle out before he pressed his soft lips to my vomit-caked ones. There was no tongue action or anything, just a tender kiss.
Party backed away from the kiss first, my eyes still closed, but opening slowly. I smiled at him as he smiled at me and sat next to me in my love. “I love you, Gerard Party Poison Way,” I said to Party, using his full and Killjoy name together. I shut my eyes and leaned my head against his shoulder, watching the horizon peacefully. It was noon, and the sun was directly overhead, but a rare breeze was blowing through the world, stirring up dust and whipping hair around. I smiled at the sky and the dust, knowing there was nothing else for me but this in life.
Party put his hand on my head and began stroking my hair. “I love you too, Jennifer Violet Rage Cosby,” he said, and pulled my lips to his in another tender kiss. I desperately wanted some tongue action, but I understood I probably tasted like vomit.
I broke away first, thinking I wanted some air and light. I looked at Party, who seemed understanding. “Party…” I began again, but Party shushed me with a finger over my lips.
“You don’t have to tell me anything,” Party said, and I grew unnerved.
“Party, I think I may possibly be pregnant.” There, it was out in the open. I looked at Party to my right, who had gone pale. I took a sip of the water from the canteen, and fiddled with the lid as Party sat, thinking with his eyes closed.
Party finally spoke. “Well, that was direct,” he said, not trying to make a joke, but it sounded like one. I looked at Party, who was watching me play with the canteen lid. “How do you think…?” he asked, trying not to beat around the bush.
I sighed, knowing this was not going to be easy. “I think it might have been Tim when he got me back in Battery City last night,” I said quietly, not wanting to get Party angry.
Party was still watching me fiddle with the lid as he spoke. “What are we going to do then?”
I looked at Party, worried. If it was Tim’s child, I didn’t want it. It was his. But the best irony would be to raise it as a proper Killjoy, knowing about their evil genetic father and loving their dad. I began to smile at Party, and he knit his eyebrows together, trying to figure out what I was thinking. “Maybe we should raise the kid and make it a Killjoy, just like us. They would hate Tim and BLI, but love us and the Killjoys, even though it’s a BLI baby,” I said, growing excited at all the things we would do for the baby; giving them their own ray gun, letting them master the art of silence, running and target practice…
“Vi-o-let,” Party said, moving his hand in front of my face. “You went all astronaut on me. How do we even know this baby will survive? What if it doesn’t? What if it turns out like it’s father?”
I blinked at all the questions, not knowing the answers. I felt tears grow behind my eyes, threatening to spill over. I know it was hormones, but seriously, I was a weeping willow, erm… Violet. “I don’t know,” I finally said, looking at the ground, tears threats again.
Party rubbed my back like he was before. “We’ll figure something out, Violet. Just for now, please tell me you aren’t trekking to Mexico,” Party said, and I looked into his eyes, mine brimming with tears, and his brimming with sad worriness.
I smiled at Party weakly and hugged him around the waist, not wanting to let go. “I wouldn’t. Ever,” I said, and gave Party a squeeze. He smiled, and I remembered there were two cars, and two people. “Um, Party?”
“Hmm?”
“How are we going to do this?”
Party gave me a weird look.
“How are we going to get home when there’s two of us, two cars, and me not wanting to be alone in my truck?”
Party nodded and got up, walking around to the back of my love, past the vomit on the ground. I trailed Party, watching what he was doing with curiosity. Party opened the trunk and dug around for a bit, returning to the outside world with a sturdy looking chain and two hooks. “You’re truck has a trailer hitch, right?”
I nodded and took the chain from Party, walking to the back of my truck. I pulled the hitch out from its hiding spot I had welded for it, and attached the rope to the hitch. “Go drive your car around, I stick it onto this sucker and we can go.”
Party nodded and walked off to my love, me watching. I looked at the back of my love, finally seeing it for the first time. ‘LOOK ALIVE SUNSHINE’ was painted on the bumper in pink letters, and I instantaneously realized that was a Dr. Death Defying quote. The California tag read ‘4 XOX 575’, and I judged I wasn’t the only one trying to remember it. More Dr. Death Defying stickers littered the bumper, and a brown grack was on the right side of the bumper. In between the rear lights was a clown sticker with an X below it, but I didn’t recognize that from anything. “Hey Party,” I said, trying to get his attention.
“What, love?”
I smiled, being referred to as ‘love’. “What’s the clown sticker on the back of my love?”
“What clown sticker? Last time I checked, I was sticker-free,” Party said, straining to see his back. I laughed at his poor excuse of a joke, and pointed to the sticker on the back of my love. Party got out of my love and walked to the back of it, taking one glance at the sticker and cursing, ripping it off the car.
I looked at Party, wondering what was happening.
“Grab your stuff and jump in your truck. It was a BLI sticker. I think they’ve been tracking me,” Party said as his jumped in shotgun of my truck. I hopped in my truck too, revving the engine and speeding away from Mexico and the Black. “We’ve only got so long before they find us, so if you can, pack up your tree and we’ll get away from Zone 4 as soon as possible,” Party said, glancing out the rear view mirror, clearly paranoid.
I leaned over and rubbed his shoulder. “We’re going to be fine, Party,” I said as I heard a ray gun blast whiz past my truck. “Fuck! Shoot their fucking heads off!” I yelled at Party, and handed him my gun. “Aim for the arms!”
Party did as I told him to, and knocked over the Dracs leaning out of Korse’s car, shooting at us. I hit the truck’s steering wheel horn, expecting NOS. I didn’t get any, remembering how Party had used all of it up yesterday morning. “Shit, Party, we’re out of NOS!” I yelled, putting pedal to metal as Party began shooting at the driver of Korse’s car, making the car swerve behind us and lose speed. The car caught on something on the road and swerved, jumping over the ground and beginning a death roll into the desert. Party shot at the car again, and hopped back in my truck, smiling.
“I knew learning how to shoot tires was a good idea,” he said, still smiling. I looked at him and smiled back, rather tiredly though. Party noticed this, as he was trying to get over me and begin driving back to my tree, resting my head against the passenger’s door.
I smiled at Party and shut my eyes, wanting nothing more than a nap and some food. I felt Party rub my shoulder, and I drifted into a sleep full of dreams with Party and I raising this kid, making sure they get the very best Killjoy experience ever. The kid was a girl, a girl named Bandit. Bandit had rust hair, like me, but Party’s kind eyes and his warm smile. Nothing about Bandit was like Tim, and that was good. She wouldn’t grow up to be like her real father, ass hole Tim.
I felt Party lightly shaking me as I began to dream Bandit as a kindergartener, and I opened my eyes, smiling. We were at my tree, the guys’ shadows dancing inside. I shut my eyes, savoring the peace, and stepped out of my truck with Party, slamming the door so the guys would know I was back again. I guessed right that the guys would hear me, because Kobra Kid came rushing out of the tree, worry painting “The Scream” on his face.
“Where in fuck’s name have you two been?!” Kobra asked frantically, looking from Party, to me, and back to Party, repeat. “You know how worried I was?” he said, giving Party and I a bear hug, which made me tense up a little.
“Kobra, don’t worry, nothing bad happened to us while we were gone. Now, Korse on the other hand…” Party smirked, and I told the story to Kobra and the guys.
Jet Star jumped in the air, fist first. “Yeah! That’ll show that piece of shit to mess with us!”
“Jet, it’s not like he’s dead. He’s a robot, remember?” Ghoul said, looking at me smiling. “What the hell are you smiling at?” he asked me, annoyed at my sunshine.
I sighed a happy sigh. “Guys… There might be a seventh person in this group before next year is over.”
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