Categories > Books > Harry Potter > JEDI POTTER
Reviews
JEDI POTTER
(#) chanewt906 2011-12-08
It has been a long and interesting - and painful at times due to real life - tale, and I have to say that it is a bitter sweet moment reading this. This has been an amazing story, sometimes I went back to the beginning and read up to the latest chapter and saw new things that somehow I had missed.
Had hoped Harry was wrong, but as you said, he passed in peace, with his loved ones around him.
Thanks for this, and I hope you and your Muses are up to more stories in the future.Author's response
Hello, chanewt.
Yes, it has. I have to say, this has been the most interesting and at times frustrating thing I’ve ever done, (and that includes being a widowed dad. Raising a child is HAAARRRD!) but I enjoyed (almost) every moment.
In my opinion, re-reading a story is what takes it from good, to great…and you’;re right. Things one might have missed the first go-through, make themselves known on subsequent readings.
For you, and those who’ve re-read, I thank you. For those of you on their first time ‘round…I thank you.
The decision for Harry was hard to make, but I didn’t want him to become another Yoda. “Too long has he lived, mmmm?” This way he goes out on his own terms.
Thanks again.
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) wolff 2011-12-08
It's definitely been one hell of an adventure! I've really enjoyed this one, and I want to thank you for the hours of pleasure you've given us. Nicely done, sir, nicely done.Author's response
Heya Wolff. Thank you sir and I’m glad you enjoyed the ride.
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) robyntalks 2011-12-10
Great story!!
loved the ending. thanks for all your hard work. (i was wondering what happened to chapman and to ginny. did dobby and winky ever have kids?)
thanks again. love always, robyn.Author's response
Heya Robyn.
Thanks for your kind thoughts.
Carolyn will make an appearance in at least two other stories “A Boy Named Harry, and ‘A Thousand Years. In an aside, Carolyn is based on my attorney Carolyn Chapman (Now retired), who fought the state of Califpornya after my wife died. They wanted to take my baby simply because I was male. It took three years, but she never gave up. That was sixteen years ago. As for Dobby and Winky; they are as well suited to each other as Harry and Hermione. Both were very much a part of Harry’s life, and they helped to establish the academy. I can’t imagine them not having a few little elves.
Grins…
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) Richardc269 2011-12-14
Your last chapter was very touching. I am glad you're finally able to finish your story. I really liked it.
Despite the fact that your story would get only between a 1-3 star rating at DLP.net instead of a 4-5 (mostly due to that most of them don't think SW/HP would be a very good crossover), I really like this story. Also despite that your story is full of used-up cliches that have been used quite often in SW crossovers, my standards for stories are a little lower than the rest of DLP.net. I still liked this story.
Although I still have to say that my absolute favorite HP/SW crossover story is still "HP & And The Dying Embers" (and I really wish that guy had written a sequel to it years ago). I'll say that this story is my second favorite HP/SW story, mostly because most of the other HP/SW crossovers are absolutely horrid to read.
You at least took the time to make this story the best you could, despite it being full of ideas that were already used-up (and more likely than not, were horrible executed in most HP/SW stories). Now you can spend the time to beta your story and fix-it-up! lol. It just needs a few things corrected, and it'd be easier to read, but of course, I think that'd be a better job for someone else who's willing to beta the story (not to mention reliable).
I do hope that eventually, you'll write another good story (but I'm willing to bet that won't be for a good while from now).Author's response
Thank you, Richardc,
I don’t’ think I’ve ever received so many backhanded complements anywhere. Yes, there are some used up clichés, but my father told me once (waaaaay back in the late Cretaceous), ‘There’s nothing new under the sun. Everything has been done, in at least one form before.’
I thank you for your kudos, however. The last chapter was very difficult to write. I needed to include quite a few characters and at least a brief outline of their lives as a result of Harry’s intervention, and I frequently feel I have forgotten someone. (Le Sigh!)
As for personal favorite HP/SW crossovers, I prefer the and a close second is the ‘Walking a new path’ by Padawan Lynn, and the original ‘Chronicles of the chosen one’ also by Padawan Lynn. Both series tell a story and do so in an unusual manner. There are, IMO, some areas in both series that could stand some improvement, but then, that is what fanfiction is. After all, the Harry Potter series is so filled with cliché’s, one dimensional characters and plotholes, it makes writing fanfiction fun. Those seven books have spawned nearly a half million stores of varying ability around the world.
I am in the process of writing more stories, but will have to wait until I have steady employment before I can begin to post them.
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) zamia 2011-12-22
A beautiful ending to one hell of a yarn. How true about TV evangelists. Thanks for such an enjoyable read and your responses. Dave, to you and your daughter have a great Christmas and I hope we all have the honour of reading a story by you in the future. Cheers and all the best in the years to come.
ZAuthor's response
G’day, Zamia!
Thanks for your kind words, mate. In more than a few ways, I’m sorry it’s over. It was an adventure to write.
I despise Televangelists. As far as I’m concerned, they are all thieves and charlatans. It would be better if they were used car salesmen. Then, at least people would understand that they were going to be screwed over. Someone once said; “Organized religion is the worst disaster to befall mankind.” I think it was Robert Heinlein, but I can’t be sure.
We did have a nice Christmas, actually. There wasn’t a huge pile of crap under the tree, and there was most definitely an empty spot in our lives, but we had each other, and that’s all that matters.
I have several more stories in the works. When I am more financially secure, I‘ll start posting again.
Ta!
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) Teresa 2012-01-02
This was a perfect wrap up! I wish that Harry had lived as long as his wives, but he had a good life with them and the rest of his family. I'm glad that he saw his plans for the Jedi come to fullfillment. I was wondering, did he every appear to Hermione and Luna the way Obi-Wan and Yoda did with Luke? I loved Hermione's threat during April's birth! Mackenzie really seemed to feel for his son-in-law at that moment! Harry was a wise man to take those precautions with his and Hermione's lightsabers! (snicker) The birthing ceremony at the Burrow was nice, and I'm glad that Harry's children had not only Mack and Judith as grandparents, but also Arthur and Molly. I enjoyed seeing Remus's cure, and hope that Snape got the info in Azkaban and shattered his teeth by gnashing them in frustration. As for Dumbles and Vernon, I think they came to well deserved ends, but I was suprised that Dumbles actually was buried at Hogwarts. Why would they want that power mad self seeker anywhere near the place even in death? Hmmm.... I wonder if Voldy's ghost did feel twinges from Harry and Hermione even in Hell. Wouldn't the demons counsider that a lovely bit of extra punishment? I also liked seeing how Harry and Hermione dealt with that would be religious advocate. It doesn't suprise me that he ended up in a nasty scandal later on. Were any of the Dak's relatives among the first goblin students at the Academy? I'm glad that Dudley and Marrissa married and settled down and it was nice that Petunia actually reformed. Tonks and Remus are so cute together! Anyway, thanks for a wonderful story, and may the Force be with you! :)Author's response
Heya, Teresa.
Killing off Harry was a difficult decision. As I said, there were benefits to either side of the choice.
While I hadn’t gone into that, I’d imagine that when they needed him, he’d be there.
Threats: That’s not the worst I’ve heard. For some reason though, they all seem to center on painful, or even explosive emasculation.
Precautions: If it’s been me, I’d have done the same (Snicker!)
Remus’ cure: That sorta jumped up on me. Since nanites had done what they did to Dumbley, they should be able to help Remus. Glad you liked the way I put it together.
The naming ceremony: I had to include that. Since the wedding had been done by Druidic tradition, there would of necessity be a naming ceremony. And the tree planting came from Family history. In Ireland, when a child is born, a tree is planted, with the spent placenta to nourish it. I understand that there are quite a few places around the world where people still do that.
Snape: Damn! Missed that!
Vernon and Dumbledore. Vernon was a heart attack waiting to happen. It could have been anything that set it off, but I’d imagine his son marrying a ‘freak’ was a guarantee. On a side note, That’s also why I allowed Petunia to redeem herself. (see below)
Dumbledore. While Dumbledore was a sociopath, he was still well-thought-of by many in the wizarding world. Personally, I’d have preferred t encase him in concrete and drop him to the bottom of the Marianas Trench, (which will show up in one of my stories) and while he was buried at Hogwarts, he was buried with the rest. His marker is no better than any of the others there.
Voldy: (Snicker!) If he did, then they would!
Televangelists: I despise Televangelists with a passion. I consider them to be nothing but thieves and charlatans, and such scandals are commonplace. I once read of an old lady in New York, living on cat food in order to send her money to one of them, and I wept. Whenever one asks: “What would Jesus do?” I think of the time he walked into the temple with a bullwhip in his hand.
The goblin students: The Most Honored Dak, could not activate Harry’s lightsaber, so there is no indication that any of his progeny could either. I reckon one in ten magic users, would also be able to touch the force to various degrees, and only one in a thousand humans, is a magic user. With various races it would be different. Harry had over ninety house-elves at the end of this, and only ten or eleven are force users. The goblins may have a larger percentage, or a smaller one.
Dudley and Marissa. They were too cute a couple to just let them go.
Petunia: She actually started her own reformation, much like Dudley did when she agreed to attend the bonding. I may be a sexist, but I saw her jealousy as the initiating force behind Harry’s canon abuse, and Vernon’s temper, general bigotry and fear of the unknown as the rest. Since she attended the bonding and didn’t’ immediately explode, it was a safe bet she could adapt. By having her attend a magical ceremony, I took a step I couldn’t retrace. Unintentional or not, it became her first step to becoming a decent person once more.
Tonks and Remus: That was decided in canon before I got involved, but I agree.
You are quite welcome, and it was (mostly) a pleasure to write…and may the force be with you as well.
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) goku90504 2012-01-03
other than one spelling error that was repeated more than a dozen times through the story this has been one of the best reads i've had in a while good job
the spelling error is draw when you should have spelled it drawerAuthor's response
See the aboveJEDI POTTER
(#) no-one 2012-02-21
First off I would like to say that this was an absolutely wonderful story. And second that the only reason I knew you finished your story was when I was re-reading it for the fourth time and was pleasantly surprised to see the very last chapter. I realized this a month after you posted it. The reason it took me so long to find it, for the fact I have your Arthur page booked marked with all the stories on it and it still says that Jedi Potter’s last update was in November and its still listed as unfinished. I’m thinking that is the reason you only have 7 (now 8) reviews on the last chapter instead of the normal 20 to 30.
I did like the chapter it was a nice little wrap up, on Petunia I can see understand why Harry let her off at the end, and I also understand why a lot of people were angry about that, in story, but they got to understand she was in the same routine for what 2 decades, that even if Harry said she can do whatever she wanted she would still be doing the same routine because that’s all she knows. When Vernon died, yes I know he was an evil bastard to the core, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Petunia. Though inwardly I think Dudley would feel relieved at Vernon’s death, he would also feel guilty for feeling that way.
The only thing that really irked me about the story was how open Harry was, to taking out Dumbledore, to complete strangers (i.e. the special agent that met them in America). I know Harry can read minds to determine if a person is trustworthy or not, but still that just doesn’t sit right. During the first read through it didn’t bother me but after multiple read throughs it really stood out.
Other than that I absolutely love your writing style and the story was an absolute wonderful read. I look forward to reading your stories in the future. Thank you so much for this adventure.
and the commenter
Richard I think he is living up to his name.
I hope things work out for you in real life.
Author's response
Hey again, No-one.
I’m glad you enjoyed the story. It was a lot of fun to write, but a huge job at the same time.
I warms my heart, that people will not only read the story, but read it again. (Does a Snoopy dance!)
Finished: Yeah, I forgot to mark it as complete until I think, a month after the fate. (Blushes)
While I like getting reviews, they’re not eh end-all of writing for em. There are still many places I can improve and for me, reviewers tell me how. That’s why I prefer detailed reviews to ‘Gr8 chappy, want more’.
I thought it was a bit rushed, myself, but it had already reached 12,000 words, and there were so many things to tie up. Funny how it started out to be a two-chapter, ‘screw the wizarding world, I’m not going back’ story.
I had Harry let her off, because she did something he never expected. She took responsibility for her sins. Finishing up her community service voluntarily, was something Vernon would never have done. And you’re right, in both cases. I am a firm believer of ‘love with discipline’, and Dr Spock was a moron striking for idiot and failing the course. Yes, Vernon was a real piece of work, but how much of that hatred was his, and how much came from Dumbledore’s manipulations? I wonder if Vernon would have turned his abuse on her had Harry not been there. On the other hand, he was her husband, and the loss of a spouse (any loved one for that matter) always hurts. Trust me on this.
The same thing goes for Dudley. It seems no matter how awful your parents can be, you always want to remember them. A case in point: My father was a total bastard. A violent alcoholic, with a penchant for beating children with whatever he could find, for whatever he could find. I was removed from his control when I was about ten, and for the next ten years I absolutely hated holidays, because I would recall all too vividly how he ‘dealt’ with them. (He got drunk and beat us.) I had PTSD before I joined the military. Still, when he died in ’06, I still said a prayer to the four winds for his spirit.
I have to disagree. Harry only told the people around him what they needed to know. The problem as I see it, is that secrecy can be carried to extremes. (Canon Dumbledore) He was more forthcoming than Dumbledore, but he still kept his security intact. The agent in the US; he only told them what they already knew or needed to know. While I was in charge of a fire team, or later on as a Senior P.O. or Chief, I would tell my people what hey needed to know to get the job done. I wouldn’t hide information, cause that’s the best way to et your people dead.
I’m truly happy you enjoyed the ride. It was both a major labor and a pleasure to write.
When I have things settled a bit more, I will have more stories up.
~and the commenter Richard I think he is living up to his name.~
There are always going to be people who have a difference of opinion. It sucks, but there it is.
With appreciation,
AlorkinJEDI POTTER
(#) Arkarian23 2012-04-21
Got to say I really enjoyed reading this story. I started reading a couple of days ago and finished at 2:30 Am today. Even though this is a crossover which is often fairly hard to do properly, this was a great story and didn't detract from either the origins of HP or Star Wars. It was interesting and often surprising (especially the idea with the bucky balls).
Loved reading this and I'll look forward to reading everything else you've done.JEDI POTTER
(#) twilliams1797 2012-06-25
I was reading this and my wife asked me why I was crying..
the naming ceremony. the feeling of those there and not there.. remembrance of my grandson's birth and how I would have liked to bring him to my dad..
there's a quote here somewhere:
"you know it's a good book when you turn the last page and feel as if you've lost a friend"
that's how I feel.
Thanks buddy.Author's response
Heya Tim. I’m touched. I really am. It’s humbling to know that my writing has affected so many people over the past year.
And you are quite welcome.
Alorkin
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