Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Here Comes Trouble AKA: The Internet
Chapter 6
Whiners!
Percy Weasley was bored. No, wait, beyond bored. He was sitting at his desk with a mountain of paperwork, balancing a quill on his finger. Bored, bored, bored, bored! Taking a glance, he saw his father walking by muttering, to his surprise, about crazy perverted muggles. He had a disgusted look on his face, carrying some crazy muggle contraption. 'How typical of him always messing around with muggle rubbish,' Percy thought to himself. Although, he was curious of what made him so . . . Appalled towards muggles. He's so obsessed with muggles that he even collects plugs and batteries for crying out loud!
Percy sighed. Things have been pretty rocky between him and his family ever since the end of the Twizard Tournament. He still felt a bit guilty for the way he treated his family, and he wasn't sure if he could make amends for it. Gathering up his Gryffindore courage he called, "Hey dad, what's wrong?" Mr. Weasley glanced over a bit surprised.
"Oh, nothing, Percy."
"Okay, then," Percy said a bit disappointed in his vague answer and continued 'working' on his paperwork. Percy, somehow, knew he shouldn't be surprised.
The next few days, he saw some people carrying the same muggle contraption his dad has, and heard them muttering something about crazy, perverted muggles also. As he got up, he saw a group of people gathered around the computer and they were just started reading, The Toad's True Heritage:
____________________________________
"Umbridge, you are not my daughter, thank god I might add. Here's your daddy," Umbridge's 'father' held out a toad.
"Are you saying THAT'S my father!" Umbridge shrieked pointed at the toad who is her father.
"Yes, I am, I'm sorry to say! You looked so ugly, that we ashamed to say that you are our daughter so we sent you away! Alright, I told her the truth now where's my money!" demanded Umbridge's real father.
_____________________________________
"WHAT!?" Umbridge yelled. Everyone was snickering. 'That would explain a lot about her,' Percy thought to himself. 'Rumor has it that Umbridge was so ugly that when she was born that the healer slapped her mother.'
________________________________________
The toad - Umbridge - stood there with her mouth opened only to have a bucket of slime fall on her. Random Hogwarts Student #1, "Hey, look everyone! Our "beloved" headmistress is getting in touch with her homeland!" Umbridge ran out of the hall.
"I'm sorry about having to leave her with you," Umbridge's father said.
Ramdom ministry official appearing out of no where walks up to Umbridge's adopted father, "For having the courage to put up with Delores (SP?) I hereby present you with the Order of Merlin first class."
______________________________________
"HOW DARE THESE MUGGLES MAKE A JOKE OUT OF ME I AM THE -"
Five hours later. . .
"THESE MUGGLES NEED TO LEARN-" Umbridge noticed that everyone was asleep. She went and shook them. "Percy, tell the minister about this! We need to find out how the muggles know about us!"
"You are saying you're a toad? Not that I'm surprised. . ." A random ministry asked. Umbridge sent him a death glare.
"Here take this laptop too! You're the son of that nerd Arthur, so you should have some knowledge of how to use muggle rubbish! Show him the website! Now go!" Umbridge shrieked in that annoying high-pitched voice.
Percy nodded and made his way to Fudge's office. Percy somehow had the feeling that the only reason she gives a care is because the fanfic authors were calling her a toad - which he agrees wholeheartedly with. She does look like an overgrown toad, and has an annoying voice too! "Excuse me, Minister."
The minister looked up, "This better be important."
"If you call muggles discovering our existence not important, then no," Percy said sarcastically.
"Then get out, I'm trying to figure out new ways to screw - I mean help people," Cornelius barked not catching Percy's tone of voice.
"Right, you didn't hear a single thing I said did you?"
"Why, was it important?"
Percy slapped his forehead. 'And I just had to support this idiot instead of Dumbledore.' "As I was trying to tell you," Percy said slowly, agitated, "unless you call muggles discovering our existence unimportant. . ."
"Then go away - I mean, of course show me what you got," Cornelius said, noticing Rita Skeeter at the door.
"Muggles know about us," she said raising her eyebrow coming in.
"Uh, Umbridge told me to show you this," Percy said, opening up the laptop, having no clue really as to how it works. 'Well, might as take a stab in the dark.' A took him a few minutes to figure out how to look around on the net. He clicked on Idiots by Whatever.
______________________________________
'With everyone thinking Potter is an attention seeking brat, I'll be able to deny You-know-who's existence so I'll retire rich, and pass the buck onto the poor sap who takes office next time,' Cornelius gave an evil laugh, "Oh, flunkie."
_____________________________________
'Well, the muggles pretty much hit the nail on the head with this one,' Percy thought blandly to himself as he read what was on the screen.
'Looks like those muggles are smarter then I thought - HOW DARE THEY WRITE THIS ABOUT ME! Especially with that gossip-happy news reporter next to me.' Cornelius thought to himself enraged.
'Yes, a perfect story. I can't wait until I can go home and report this. I feel like Christmas has come early and decided to bring all the other holidays with it!' Rita's eyes danced with excitement.
________________________________________
"Yes, Master," Percy said. Kissing the minister's boots. "I'll do whatever you want since I'm your loyal, lowly servant."
________________________________________
"WHAT IN BLAZES IS THIS ABOUT!" Percy exploded, demonstrating the wrath of the infamous Weasley temper that jumped both Rita and the idiot everyone calls the minister. His ears turned bright red, he was breathing heavily, eyes filled with rage, and his knuckle were white. Quickly, Rita and Cornelius fled the room. 'Blimey, these muggles are just plain mean! I may have done things I'm not proud of, but did they have to be mean about it!' Taking a few minutes to calm down a bit, he barely noticed Rita and the idiot come back into the room. They decided to read another story.
A couple stories later . . .
"HOW DARE THOSE MUGGLES WRITE SUCH STUFF ABOUT ME! ME, ME, ME!" Cornelius shouted.
"Your saying you have something to whine about! Ugh, those jerks, portray me as a total B*#$! I may be a reporter, but even I have my dignity!"
Percy rolled his eyes. 'Once again, these muggles hit the nail on the head. Why did I have to support these idiots? I could've supported Dumbledore since at least he has some shred of commonsense! But no, I had to support this idiot! Either that, or I live in a world full of idiots.'
"Percy!" barked Cornelius. "I want you to find out how these muggles, know of our existence."
"Yes, Sir," Percy gladly said and quickly left the room. 'How do these muggles know of our existence? Well, at least the idiot is doing something constructive instead of whining about his tarnished reputation.'
Whiners!
Percy Weasley was bored. No, wait, beyond bored. He was sitting at his desk with a mountain of paperwork, balancing a quill on his finger. Bored, bored, bored, bored! Taking a glance, he saw his father walking by muttering, to his surprise, about crazy perverted muggles. He had a disgusted look on his face, carrying some crazy muggle contraption. 'How typical of him always messing around with muggle rubbish,' Percy thought to himself. Although, he was curious of what made him so . . . Appalled towards muggles. He's so obsessed with muggles that he even collects plugs and batteries for crying out loud!
Percy sighed. Things have been pretty rocky between him and his family ever since the end of the Twizard Tournament. He still felt a bit guilty for the way he treated his family, and he wasn't sure if he could make amends for it. Gathering up his Gryffindore courage he called, "Hey dad, what's wrong?" Mr. Weasley glanced over a bit surprised.
"Oh, nothing, Percy."
"Okay, then," Percy said a bit disappointed in his vague answer and continued 'working' on his paperwork. Percy, somehow, knew he shouldn't be surprised.
The next few days, he saw some people carrying the same muggle contraption his dad has, and heard them muttering something about crazy, perverted muggles also. As he got up, he saw a group of people gathered around the computer and they were just started reading, The Toad's True Heritage:
____________________________________
"Umbridge, you are not my daughter, thank god I might add. Here's your daddy," Umbridge's 'father' held out a toad.
"Are you saying THAT'S my father!" Umbridge shrieked pointed at the toad who is her father.
"Yes, I am, I'm sorry to say! You looked so ugly, that we ashamed to say that you are our daughter so we sent you away! Alright, I told her the truth now where's my money!" demanded Umbridge's real father.
_____________________________________
"WHAT!?" Umbridge yelled. Everyone was snickering. 'That would explain a lot about her,' Percy thought to himself. 'Rumor has it that Umbridge was so ugly that when she was born that the healer slapped her mother.'
________________________________________
The toad - Umbridge - stood there with her mouth opened only to have a bucket of slime fall on her. Random Hogwarts Student #1, "Hey, look everyone! Our "beloved" headmistress is getting in touch with her homeland!" Umbridge ran out of the hall.
"I'm sorry about having to leave her with you," Umbridge's father said.
Ramdom ministry official appearing out of no where walks up to Umbridge's adopted father, "For having the courage to put up with Delores (SP?) I hereby present you with the Order of Merlin first class."
______________________________________
"HOW DARE THESE MUGGLES MAKE A JOKE OUT OF ME I AM THE -"
Five hours later. . .
"THESE MUGGLES NEED TO LEARN-" Umbridge noticed that everyone was asleep. She went and shook them. "Percy, tell the minister about this! We need to find out how the muggles know about us!"
"You are saying you're a toad? Not that I'm surprised. . ." A random ministry asked. Umbridge sent him a death glare.
"Here take this laptop too! You're the son of that nerd Arthur, so you should have some knowledge of how to use muggle rubbish! Show him the website! Now go!" Umbridge shrieked in that annoying high-pitched voice.
Percy nodded and made his way to Fudge's office. Percy somehow had the feeling that the only reason she gives a care is because the fanfic authors were calling her a toad - which he agrees wholeheartedly with. She does look like an overgrown toad, and has an annoying voice too! "Excuse me, Minister."
The minister looked up, "This better be important."
"If you call muggles discovering our existence not important, then no," Percy said sarcastically.
"Then get out, I'm trying to figure out new ways to screw - I mean help people," Cornelius barked not catching Percy's tone of voice.
"Right, you didn't hear a single thing I said did you?"
"Why, was it important?"
Percy slapped his forehead. 'And I just had to support this idiot instead of Dumbledore.' "As I was trying to tell you," Percy said slowly, agitated, "unless you call muggles discovering our existence unimportant. . ."
"Then go away - I mean, of course show me what you got," Cornelius said, noticing Rita Skeeter at the door.
"Muggles know about us," she said raising her eyebrow coming in.
"Uh, Umbridge told me to show you this," Percy said, opening up the laptop, having no clue really as to how it works. 'Well, might as take a stab in the dark.' A took him a few minutes to figure out how to look around on the net. He clicked on Idiots by Whatever.
______________________________________
'With everyone thinking Potter is an attention seeking brat, I'll be able to deny You-know-who's existence so I'll retire rich, and pass the buck onto the poor sap who takes office next time,' Cornelius gave an evil laugh, "Oh, flunkie."
_____________________________________
'Well, the muggles pretty much hit the nail on the head with this one,' Percy thought blandly to himself as he read what was on the screen.
'Looks like those muggles are smarter then I thought - HOW DARE THEY WRITE THIS ABOUT ME! Especially with that gossip-happy news reporter next to me.' Cornelius thought to himself enraged.
'Yes, a perfect story. I can't wait until I can go home and report this. I feel like Christmas has come early and decided to bring all the other holidays with it!' Rita's eyes danced with excitement.
________________________________________
"Yes, Master," Percy said. Kissing the minister's boots. "I'll do whatever you want since I'm your loyal, lowly servant."
________________________________________
"WHAT IN BLAZES IS THIS ABOUT!" Percy exploded, demonstrating the wrath of the infamous Weasley temper that jumped both Rita and the idiot everyone calls the minister. His ears turned bright red, he was breathing heavily, eyes filled with rage, and his knuckle were white. Quickly, Rita and Cornelius fled the room. 'Blimey, these muggles are just plain mean! I may have done things I'm not proud of, but did they have to be mean about it!' Taking a few minutes to calm down a bit, he barely noticed Rita and the idiot come back into the room. They decided to read another story.
A couple stories later . . .
"HOW DARE THOSE MUGGLES WRITE SUCH STUFF ABOUT ME! ME, ME, ME!" Cornelius shouted.
"Your saying you have something to whine about! Ugh, those jerks, portray me as a total B*#$! I may be a reporter, but even I have my dignity!"
Percy rolled his eyes. 'Once again, these muggles hit the nail on the head. Why did I have to support these idiots? I could've supported Dumbledore since at least he has some shred of commonsense! But no, I had to support this idiot! Either that, or I live in a world full of idiots.'
"Percy!" barked Cornelius. "I want you to find out how these muggles, know of our existence."
"Yes, Sir," Percy gladly said and quickly left the room. 'How do these muggles know of our existence? Well, at least the idiot is doing something constructive instead of whining about his tarnished reputation.'
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