Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Our Lips Touch

13. I’m not gay

by NotKissingYouGoodBye 15 reviews

I flaped my mouth open and shut like some kind of hopless goldfish out of water. What an attractive look…not.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres:  - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way - Published: 2012-08-28 - Updated: 2012-08-28 - 3313 words

I move my sleeve covered hand’s under his chin to lift his pale face and make him look me dead in the eyes so he can see the sincerity swirling around in circles.

I breathe out a shaky breath, feeling overwhelmed at the fact that Gerard has me pinned against the brick wall by the hips “Gee, I think I feel the same way,” I close my eyes as I let the words in my head form sentences and tumble out of my mouth “but I’m not sure.” I gently shake my head and clench my teeth as I feel the emotion fill my eyes “I’m scared of these feelings because I don’t know what they mean or how I should react to them.” His grip on me loosens as he becomes confident that I’m not going to run away and land myself in front of a bus…again. Energy of hope surrounds him “Neither do I.” he said eagerly. I open my eyes hopelessly and flap my mouth open and shut like a goldfish out of water.

What an attractive look…not.

“I’m not gay.” I suddenly blurt out. I don’t know why.

What are you doing? You want to kiss him don’t you?...wait don’t answer that, I know you do because I’m you, and you go and blurt out that your ‘not gay’. Arrr, If there was no one around I’d make you face-palm yourself so hard that it just might knock some intelligence into you… or at least course concussion.


Yeah, yeah…I know, I know…’shut up’. But later when no one’s looking you’re getting a face-palm.

Gerard looks at me for a moment than replies “I think I am.” He simply tells me in hushed tones, like he just discovered Narnia in Ray’s Fro and wanted to keep it a secret but at the same time desperately wanted to scream it from the roof tops and announce it to the whole world while doing a happy dance. I stare blankly at him, his expression is one similar to a puppy that’s about to get a pat on the head for good behaviour.

Look at that face, is that not just the most breath takingly amazing face you have ever seen?


And guess what.


He wants to kiss you…

A stupid looking grin stretched sloppily across my lips as I’m absorbed by his hope filled eyes. His lips are slightly parted and his raven hair has fallen softly over half his face. Soundlessly I brush the raven hair away from his face and I lean forward guardedly to rest our foreheads together again. I can feel his warm smoke and coffee scented breath caresses the pink skin of my lips.

Kiss him.

My eyes have fallen shut as my hands find his hips.

Kiss him, whispers my inner thoughts.

I can feel the increasing adrenaline invade my racing blood stream.


My heart is beating so hard against my chest, it feels like it’s lunging forward with each beat trying to escape its ribcage prison to get closer and connect with the taller, pale boy standing in front of me. I grasp his hips a little tighter when I feel him step forward leaving less than a centimetre distance between us. A cold breeze washes over us but Geared body heat (and hoodie) keeps me warm.

Kiss…him, kiss him, kiss him…now, do it…kiss that sex god standing in front of you.

“Gerard?” I huskily whisper breathlessly with my eyes still closed. He moves his head so our noses brush gently. “Frankie…” he whispers back just millimetres from my lips. I pull him towards my body by the hips and he moves willingly forward. Our chests are pressed together and I can feel his thighs rub against mine. His body is so warm, it makes me feel safe and secure. I think he’s melting away my brain cells like ice-cream on a hot day as my heart nearly implodes.

He wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t cold. This boy is hot in appearance and temperature.

Softly he presses his lips to the corner of my mouth. It feels so good and creates a tingling sensation throughout me. He moves his lips away again only to bring them back to press them down on the other corner of my mouth. I slightly turn my head so he would be kissing my lips fully but he withdraws teasingly. I nudge his nose with mine as I half open my eyes. He smirks playfully and quickly kisses my left cheek then moves to my right cheek to place two more teasing pecks.

Cheeky mother-fucker.

I smirk back and move my hands smoothly around to his lower back while pulling him in as close as we can get. He continues to steal kisses from me as his hands roam gently over my short body. Quickly I experimentally kiss the warm, smooth, pale flesh of his cheek…and instantly I want to do it again. So I do. Gerard pushes me hard against the brick wall trying to be closer than possible. Our bodies push up against each other moving rhythmically.

Oh god.

Gerard kisses me just under my ear then drags his lips down my jaw line, he makes a trail of relaxed, gentle kisses to my chin then travels back up my jaw line again. I kiss his cheek then lick from the top of his jaw all the way down to the nook between his neck and shoulder. He lightly thrusts his hips into mine…

Oh shit, he’s going to get me hard soon…at school.

That thought makes me reluctantly push on his chest to try and prevent my arousal, creating about a two centimetres distance between our bodies. The look Gerard gives me is one of concern and disappointment.

He probable thinks you’re going to run home again.

Please don’t remind me.

“What? I’m sorry. Did I do something wrong?” he asked maybe just a little too fast. I smile at him and he relaxes. “You do realize you said ‘sorry’ before you asked if you did something wrong.” I mention keeping my hands still on his chest enjoying the feeling of his heart beating.

An embarrassed smile dominates his face as he rubs the back of his neck, while leaving his other hand on my hip. “Yeah, I thought that maybe I did something to make you feel uncomfortable.”

To tell to truth this whole thing is uncomfortable…but pleasurable at the same time.

“No…well yeah…but no.” I stumble giving Gerard a look of confusion with puppy-dog eyes.

Whenever in doubt just throw in some ‘puppy-dog eye’.

He chuckles at my uncertainty and puts his hand back on my hip. He smiles at me and kisses me full on the lips, without any teasing. Instantly my eye fell shut as our lips touched, my heart jumped and my stomach did about ten backflips. I pull him back in closer to me and wrap my arms around him in a tight embrace. I feel him smile against the tender skin of my mouth and then we both move our lips in sync with each other. He moans quietly and I moan back in response.

Fuck, it feels so good.

I feel Gerard lick my bottom lip asking for permition to enter but I don’t open my mouth. I like the feeling of his tongue running along the skin of my lip and plus it’s payback for teasing me before with the cheeky corner lip kisses. He presses his body against mine and tilts his head to the side slightly, changing the angle of the kiss then he licks my lip again. I smile into the kiss and keep my mouth shut but let my hands drop lower down his back. Gerard moans in frustration and pushes me harder into the wall.

Fuck. He’s going to squish me. I’m not a fucking ghost, I can’t go through walls like ‘MissFilthyDivineMCR’.

A/N if you read all the comments you’ll know who ‘MissFilthyDivineMCR’ is and that comment would make a lot more sense.

Gerard runs his tongue over both my lips this time almost desperately wanting to deepen the kiss and taste the inside of my mouth but I wasn’t giving in, even knowing I really wanted to.

Dam, I’m too stubborn for my own good.

I moved my leg in between his and pushed forward, partly because I was been squashed against the wall and needed to breath and I also wanted to drive him crazy…and it worked. He broke the kiss to gasp in the polluted New Jersey air and groan just a little bit louder than intended in passion, lust and frustration, luckily no one was around to hear it apart from me and I loved the sound he made.

He so wants you. the voice in my head said smugly.

Gerard moved his hands to cup my face and he looked deeply into my eyes, the amazing hazel colour swirled and flickered with lust and passion.

God I could have an orgasm just by the way he was looking at me.

That is a pretty intense, sexual look he is giving you…he…he would rape you would he?

Any other day of the week I would have called you crazy and told you to jump of a cliff, but right now I’m not too sure.

Maybe you should run.

Fuck off, I’m not running.

That’s a change.

“Frankie?” Gerard’s hoarse voice pulled me out of the conversation in my head. I tied to answer but my voice had gone missing.

Fuck the boy took my breath away.

I didn’t realise how hard I was breathing until I noticed my chest rising and falling at a fast pace, it looked like I just ran a marathon (excluding the sweating, that would be a bit gross and completely unattractive.). Gerard was breathing just as fast and deep. I gulped in a deep breath of unclean air and tried to find my voice.

“Gee.” I squeaked. He smirked at the sound and I silently cursed my voice. “What does this mean? Because I’m not sure what you what to happen…” he waits a moment before he continues. I can tell by the look in his sexy lust filled eyes that what he’s going to say next is important and he’s using all his courage he can muster up. “I want to be with you Frankie …as in… you be my…boyfriend and I’ll be yours.”

Actually running might be a good idea.

No way, you had your chance.

“Gee…I…” I started to speak but didn’t know what to say so I ended up just staring at him blankly.

You like him! Say you want to be with him till the end of time....Say something! Anything! What is wrong with you?

I could actually see his heart breaking in the silence as a pained expression dominated his pale face. I’m frozen against the wall and my brain is spinning.

Why? Why would he want me? Like… we’ve been friends for years and nothing like this has ever happen. How long has he felt that way? I’ve never thought this would happen. What would my mother say if she found out me and Gerard were…’going out’? His parents would flip a lid. What would Mikey think? He didn’t seem too happy about the fact I kissed Gee after he saved my life. What would our friends say? They’ll probable disown us…everyone would. I mean look at what happens to Vic. When he came out and told people he was gay most of the teachers started to unfairly mark his work and all of them ignore the other students beating him up and torturing him. His parents nearly disowned him. He was ditched by all his friends, half because they were homophobic and the other half left out of the fear of been bashed just for knowing Vic.

God that kid is a legend, it’s amazing how brave and strong he is.

Maybe you should do what he does, be brave and tell Gee how you feel.

Gerard dropped his hands away from me as he bowed his head trying to hide behind his hair and tries to move awkwardly out of my arms.

He thinks you don’t want him.

I do want him!

Don’t tell me dick head, tell him!

I rapidly pulled him in close to me and buried my head into his chest as I lock my hands together behind his back so he couldn’t move away, even if he wanted to. I squeezed my eyes tight shut in the hope that it would make it easier for me to tell him the truth and started to voice the thoughts running crazy in my mind.

I had to say something…anything otherwise he’ll think I’m not interested in him…when I am.

“I’m sorry Gee!” I mumble into his band tee and he hugs me protectively “I want to be with you…I do…”

Shit, I’m shaking.

“As I said Gee, I’m scared.” I say shakily. I feel him hold me tighter and rest his chin on my head. “Why are you scared Frankie?” he whispers.


Come on Frankie boy, you can do it.

Tears start to trickle down my cheek from my closed eyes.

Fuck, why dose me make me so emotional?

“I don’t want to be disowned or…or… beat up because I fell in love with a boy.” I clench my jaw and feel completely pathetic. “I’m not gay!” My voice started to break as I yell into his shirt, luckily the sound is muffled, still understandable but muffled. “Oh Frankie…” Gerard sighs holding me in his arms. I listen to his heart beat and it soothes my fears.

“We don’t have to tell anyone Frankie,” he tells me while stroking my black hair. “I’m not really ready to tell people, I just couldn’t keep on been so close to you without telling you how I was driving me crazy like fuck.” I look up at him. “We don’t have to tell people?” I ask stupidly.

He just said that dip-shit.

“But that’s only if you want me…there’s no pressure.” I bury my face in his chest again and hold him as tight as I could “Gerard…I want to… kiss you too. I’m barely able to admit it to you so I could never admit it too anyone else. I’m not gay…but I have feeling towards you. I want to be with you but I don’t know when and if I’ll ever be ready to tell my mother or our friends…Oh Gee why do you make me feel this way?”

I feel Gerard sigh and can hear the smile in his amazing voice “Frankie…Your so confusing.” I look up at him again “That’s because I am confused.” He cups my face with his hands “Frankie?” I stare at him with bewildered eyes “Yes Gee?” He quickly kisses my nose “Will you be my boyfriend? Even if it is in secret till were ready to ‘come out’? and I don’t care if you’re never ready to admit to the world that you’re in love with a boy as long as that boy is me.”

There is a whisper quiet wind that blows delicately shuffling some dried leaves in the distance and washes over our bodies. Gee is looking deep into my soul with his hands still cupping my face waiting for my response. The wind somehow manages to carry away my fears and if frees me to confess my feeling and allows me to finally be close to gee the way I’ve always secretly wanted to.

“I want to be your boyfriend.” I whisper instantly feeling like a weight has bee taken off my shoulders. A smile stretches ear to ear on his pale face.


“But we can’t tell anyone.” He moves his arms and wraps them tight around my short body “Not till your ready sugar.” He whispers into my neck. I can’t help but smile stupidly at the warm feeling of his hot breath caressing the flesh of my neck and the cute use of the word ‘sugar’. That word means something interment, Gee once had a serious relationship with a girl and she was the only one he ever called sugar.

He starts to lick my skin and the sensation drives me crazy. I moan out loud and force his head up. “Fucking kiss me baby.” I demand and don’t wait for his response I just claim his lips and open my mouth to run my tongue over his bottom lip. Instantly he allows access and we battle for dominance. Our eyes have fallen shut as we try to savour the moment. He pushes my against the cool brick wall again and licks the roof of my mouth. Chills race throughout my body and I gently start to suck his tongue and receive a moan for my efforts. Then abruptly he pulls back leaving me slightly panting with my mouth open.

What the fuck?

He looks me seriously in the eyes. “You’re not going to run away in a minute are you?” I smile at his question and reassure him that I’m not going anywhere. He smiles a cheeky grin back at me then moves in to whisper into my ear “Good, because I’d just chases you…you’re worth the work.” And with that he gently bites my ear lobe and makes a trail of kisses over my cheek down to my lips.

He kisses me and it feels amazing. I grind our hips together and I can feel his arousal in those skinny jeans of his. He groans into my mouth and moves his hand down to my ass as our bodies move rhythmically against each other. I run my hands down his back over the top of his shirt slightly dinging my chipped nails into him. We sloppily break the kiss and he kisses down my neck then moves along more to my shoulder area and starts to suck and bite on one particular spot. My eyes flutter open then shut again as I try to supress the moans and groans that so desperately wants to be free and dance in the quiet air.

I could barely hear the sound of someone clearing their throat and I probably wouldn’t have notice if I hadn’t seen out of the corner of my eye a figure standing at the entrance of the alleyway where Gee and I are currently making out.



A/N sorry it took so long to update but it's here now hope you like it (it's the longest chapter so far). Plz leave a comment or something and tell me what you think. let me know if you pick up any spelling errors. LOve you all so much (in a non-creeoy way....ok so maybe in a little bit of a creepy way). and could some of you maybe give me some suggestions for their friends...E.G. names and even Personalities if you really want, i just mainly need some names ( It took me forever to think up Vic's name;)).XOXO.
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