FicWad

Monday morning dawned dreary and gray. The day fit Ayasha’s mood perfectly. The fact that a storm was brewing only added to her growing fears. Gerard tried to quiet his own fears for her.

“Morning.” He smiled gently stroking her cheek. Just then a clap of thunder rattled the house. “Think we’re gonna get a storm.”

Ayasha sighed, “Guess so.”

“Hey, I know it’s Monday morning but don’t be so glum.” He teased.

Suddenly her fears were too much. “I wish I didn’t have to leave today. I wish we could just stay here, like this all day.”

“Me too, Sugar.” He whispered before placing a kiss on her lips. “But you have to go to work.”

“I have to talk to Tom.” She said making her mind concentrate on the tasks she had to complete before leaving tomorrow morning.

“He’s a good man, Ayasha. You’re lucky to have him for a boss.”

“I’m lucky to have him not only as a boss but a friend.” She reflected realizing that before Gerard had arrived in her life that was a fact she hadn’t acknowledged.

He glanced over at the clock. “You’d better get moving. While you take your shower I’ll make your breakfast.”

Her nervous were making her stomach churn. “I’m not hungry.”

He understood, “Hey maybe not but you have to eat. And besides cooking for you is my job. Gotta earn my keep, you know.”

While his words were meant to lighten the mood they only served to make her feel worse. Soon there would be no reason for him to earn his keep, he wouldn’t be here any longer.

“Ayasha.” He whispered her name with deep emotion. “It’s gonna be okay. We just have to believe it will all work out.”

She closed her eyes a moment then called on her inner strength. “You’re right. It will all be okay.” She started to move but his arm held her tight.

“You don’t get out of bed without giving me a proper good morning kiss.”

Ayasha stared into his eyes a moment then their lips met. The kiss was full of passion and so many unsaid words, words that needed to be said. It was Gerard who finally pulled away.

“Go take your shower.” He said, his voice shaky. “If not you’re gonna be late.” He knew if he didn’t insist they would make love and there wasn’t time.

She slowly slid from the bed.

“Ayasha, are you going to wear the contacts today?” Since revealing her true eye color he was still getting used to her beautiful blue eyes.

She turned to him completely surprised by the question. “What?”

He smiled slightly, “Well I never really asked, but I’m guessing they aren’t prescription.”

“No, I do not need to wear them.” She answered softly as she moved towards the closet to select her clothing.

He could tell the question had upset her but he felt it was important she talked about this. “How long have you been wearing them?”

Ayasha sighed, “Not long after I started working for Tom.” She grabbed a shirt from its hanger. “That’s when I dyed my hair too.”

“To look more Native American?”

“Stupid, isn’t it?” She turned to face him, there was a definite challenge in her voice.

“No, I don’t think so.” He answered sitting up then moving to sit on the side of the bed. “You just wanted to look the way you feel, your way of celebrating your heritage.”

“Half of my heritage.” She frowned moving towards the dresser. “Like I really thought making myself look more Cherokee would change who I am.”

He stood slowly then walked towards her. “What you didn’t realize is that wasn’t necessary. You are Cherokee, Ayasha. Your heart and soul are Cherokee.”

She turned to stare at him. “Grandmother was always telling me that.” Her gaze suddenly dropped. “But back then I didn’t want to hear that. Back then I was glad I didn’t look like most of the people on the Res.”

He knew this was painful for her. “You were a confused young girl.”

Opal’s words came back to her. “I was hot headed and angry. I lashed out at the woman who loved me.”

Gerard closed the distance between them. “Don’t think for a minute your grandma didn’t understand. She loved you and she did understand.”

“I hope so.” Ayasha said softly. “I said so many things to her I wish I could take back.”

“We all say things to people we love at one time or another that we wish we could take back.” He said stroking her back as he held her in his arms. “Hell, I know that’s the truth.”

She closed her eyes just a moment to let his nearness give her strength. The voice in her head reminding her that each moment she spent with him was precious.

“Now hit the shower, woman.” He laughed.

Ayasha couldn’t stop herself from giving him one more quick kiss before leaving the security of his arms.

______________
LA
_______________

“How long have you been awake?” Mikey asked walking into the kitchen. It was rare for Alicia to wake this early and he’d been concerned when he’d found himself alone in bed.

“About an hour.” She said looking up from her place at the kitchen table. “Couldn’t sleep anymore. Guess I’m sorta nervous about today.”

He grabbed a cup of coffee from the pot she’d prepared then sat down across from her. “Nothing to be nervous about.” He smiled quieting his own fears.

She sighed, “That’s what I keep telling myself.”

Mikey reached across the table to take her hand. “Honey, really there isn’t anything to worry about. The doctor is just gonna confirm what we already know, we’re gonna have a baby.”

“I know.” She said softly stroking his hand with her thumb. “But it’s still sorta scary. What if the test was wrong?”

That question had also plagued his mind. “Hey, those things are rarely wrong.”

“I know.” She sighed again. “I’m just being silly.”

“Because this is so important to us.” He nodded in understanding. “But I’ve got a good feeling, I know everything’s going to be okay.”

Alicia took a sip of her coffee then asked, “Did you want to leave early? We could stop by and see Gerard first.”

He shook his head, “No, Dad is gonna stay with Gee until I get there.” It was so hard but he was trying to begin the painful practice of staying away from his brother’s bedside so much. It was something he felt he must do.

Alicia glanced at the clock. “Lindsey is supposed to drop off Bandit in about an hour.”

“I knew she was going by to see Gerard today but I didn’t realize it would be so early.”

“That was sorta my idea.” Alicia admitted. “I’m not sure she’s going to see Gerard that early but I asked her to bring Bandit and let her stay most of the day.”

“For Ma.” He said softly.

Alicia nodded, “Yeah, your mom really needs to spend some time with B.”

“She does. It’s good you did that.”

Alicia’s phone in the living room rang. Immediately she was on her feet. “Wonder who that is?”

Mikey remained at the table drinking his coffee.

When she picked up the cell her heart began to race. Why would Don be calling her this early? Had something happened to Gerard? “Hello?”

“Good morning daughter.” Don said quickly realizing his call might concern her. “How are you this morning?”

“I’m fine.” Alicia said walking back towards the kitchen. She saw Mikey giving her a puzzled look.

“Good, good.” Don went on to explain his call. “Wasn’t sure if Mikey would be awake yet so I called you.”

“Oh, is everything okay?”

Mikey was staring at her.

“Gerard had a very peaceful night.”

“That’s good.”

“Who is it?” Mikey asked.

Don heard her answer. “So he is awake. Well tell him everything he is fine.”

Alicia repeated Don’s comment about Gerard to Mikey.

“Would you like to talk to him?” Alicia asked Don.

Don laughed, “No, I really called to talk to you. I know your doctor’s appointment is this morning. Just wanted you to know again how happy I am about the baby.”

Alicia was touched by his words. “Thank you.” She whispered.

“Honey, I know it’s hard but try not to let what’s happening dampen your spirits. You and Mikey should be happy, you both deserve this blessing. I know in my heart Gerard would feel the same way.”

She blinked back tears. “Yeah, I think you’re right about that.”

“I know I am.” Don said. “Well I’m gonna grab myself some coffee then go back in and sit with him. Tell Mikey I’ll see him later this afternoon.”

“Thanks for calling.” Alicia said her voice full of emotion.

“I love you, Honey.” Don said softly. “You’re the best thing that every happened to my son and this baby is the best thing that’s ever happened for both of you.”

“I love you too.” Alicia said softly. “I’m gonna come with Mikey after the appointment so I’ll see you then.”

“I’m looking forward to hearing what the doc says. You’ll get an idea of a due date, won’t you?”

Alicia giggled. “I think so but this is all so new to me.”

“New and exciting.” Don agreed. “See you then.”

Alicia said goodbye then placed the phone on the table.

“What was that all about?” Mikey asked.

“He just wanted me to know how excited and happy he is about the baby.” Alicia said swiping her eyes. Don’s words had touched her deeply. While she and her father in law were close he wasn’t usual one to put his feelings into words.

Mikey smiled and once more took her hand in his. For several minutes they sat in silence gaining strength from each other’s love.

____________________________________________________________________

Gerard washed the few breakfast dishes while Ayasha gathered up her things preparing to leave for work. He’d just placed her plate in the dish strainer when he heard her walk back into the kitchen. The look on her face broke his heart. Quickly he crossed the room to pull her into his arms. “It’s gonna be okay, Honey.” He whispered holding her close.

Ayasha had never been so afraid in her life. She knew from his moment on everything she would do would be for Gerard. Her chance to help him return to his life was truly beginning and she could make no mistakes. However her heart was filled with sadness. Helping him return to his life would mean losing him.

“You know.” He said softly, “You don’t have to go. We don’t even know if getting the necklace to me would help.”

“No.” She pulled out of his arms. “Don’t say that. It will help I know that and you must believe it too.”

Gerard sighed, “I want to believe but I don’t want you to have to go to LA. I know this is upsetting you.”

“I will be fine.” She said squaring her shoulders. “Now I have to go. Hopefully Tom will come in this morning.”

She started for the door but Gerard’s voice stopped her when he called out her name. “What is it?’ She asked turning. She was surprised to see him holding her camera.

“Want to take a picture of you.” He aimed the camera.

Ayasha gave him a confused look. “Why?”

“Because I want a picture of your beautiful blue eyes.” He said softly then took the photo before she could object. He smiled down at the image he’d just taken. “Beautiful.”

In truth Ayasha was glad she wasn’t wearing the brown contacts. It was easier to blink away the tears that seemed to always be threatening. “I’ll see you soon.” She whispered turning back towards the door. However he grabbed her arm.

“You go nowhere without a goodbye kiss.” His lips crashed down on hers.

Once he released her she forced herself to smile and say the words that were in her heart. “I love you, Gerard Way.”

“Love you too.” He moved quickly to the sofa as she opened the door. Holding the camera he stared at her picture until the darkness could no long her denied.

_________________________________

“I was starting to worry about you.” Dawn said as Ayasha rushed in the front door of the shop. “Hope you drove today.” She said looking past Ayasha and seeing the first rain drops beginning to fall.

Ayasha nodded. “I did and sorry I’m late. I had to make a stop on the way here.” She held up the bag from the rock and mineral store containing her newly purchased items. As she rounded the counter she asked, “Is Tom here yet?”

“Nope.” Dawn answered. “But he did say he’d be here today.” She looked at Ayasha closely. “Uh, you’re not worried he’d be mad you were late are you?”

A clap of thunder made Ayasha jump.

“Wow, what’s wrong?” Dawn asked forgetting her last question wasn’t answered. “I’ve never seen you so jumpy.”

Ayasha tried to smile. “I’m okay.”

Suddenly Dawn realized something else, “Hey, I like your contacts.” She said with a smile. “How cool, I’ve been thinking about getting a pair. I’d love to have green eyes instead of hazel.”

For a moment Ayasha considered allowing her to believe she was wearing contacts but suddenly the truth was what she wanted. “These aren’t contacts. This is my natural eye color.”

Dawn was shocked, “What? You mean you’ve been wearing brown contacts all this time?”

“Yes.” Ayasha said forcing herself to smile.

Just then the first customers of the day rushed in out of the rain. Dawn placed her hand on Ayasha’s arm. “Take a seat, I’ll help them.” She could see Ayasha’s hands were shaking as she started to open the bag she’d brought.

“Thanks.” Ayasha answered softly then quickly set to work. She’s bought crystals and thin leather pieces with one very important goal in mind. Closing her eyes a moment she tried to clear all thoughts as she held the smoky quartz, topaz and agate stones in her hand. Silently she recited the prayer her grandmother had taught her so long ago. While she knew there were many more aspects to this ritual they could not be followed at this time. However her deep belief urged her on.

Dawn as still helping the customers when Tom walked into the store from the back room. He nodded to Dawn and the women then continued towards the front. He came to a quick standstill when he spotted Ayasha feverishly working on the item she was creating from her stones. For several minutes he watched as she twisted the leather around each stone, her lips silently moving in what appeared to be some sort of prayer. Finally when she seemed to be done he slowly joined her behind the counter.

Ayasha had been so focused on her task his appearance startled her. “Oh, Tom.” She placed her hand over the bracelet. “I didn’t realize you were here.”

He smiled, “Came in through the back.” His eyes fell to the counter.

Quickly Ayasha placed the bracelet she’d completed in her bag.

Tom’s smile slipped when he saw her hands shaking. “Everything okay?”

Ayasha took a deep breath, “I need to speak to you.”

He nodded, “Let’s go back to the office.”

As soon as the door was closed he asked, “You haven’t had any more trouble with Kyle have you?”

She sat down in the seat in front of his desk. “No.”

Tom rounded his desk then set down heavily in his chair. “Well something is wrong.” He’s never seen Ayasha look this upset and the fact she wasn’t wearing her brown contacts also added to his feeling of uneasiness. “Tell me.” He urged.

She slowly began to recite what she’d planned to say. “Last night I learned someone who is very dear to me is ill.”

Tom was shocked, Ayasha had made it seem she had no close friends or family. “Oh, I’m sorry.” He said slowly.

She forced herself to go on feeling her stomach churning. “I’d like to take tomorrow off.”

“You’re gonna visit this friend?”

She nodded, “Yes, I’ve already made my flight reservation.”

Again he was shocked by her words. “You’re flying? Where is this friend?”

“In Los Angeles.”

“LA?”

Ayasha nodded, “Yes, his condition is worsening each day.” She blinked rapidly. “I want to see him as soon as possible.”

“Oh, Honey.” Tom said his voice full of compassion. “Guessing it’s pretty bad?”

She nodded not trusting her voice.

“How long are you planning on staying out there?”

She sat up straighter. “I will be back to work on Wednesday.”

“What?” Tom began shaking his head, “That’s crazy. You shouldn’t fly all the way out there then come back the same day. Don’t you want to stay a while?”

Nervously she looked down at her hands which were clasped tightly in her lap. “I know it sounds strange but no. I feel I need to see him but there is no reason for me to stay once I have.”

Tom was very confused. “Ayasha if you’re worried about taking time off work..”

“No.” She said softly. “That’s not why.”

He thought a minute then asked, “Okay, of course you can take tomorrow off but I’m wondering why you’ve told me about this trip. I mean you could have just asked off for tomorrow and not told me you were leaving town.” Suddenly a thought occurred to him. “Do you need to borrow some money?”

Reaching down she grabbed her bag she’d brought into the office with her. Placing it on her lap she spoke. “I had enough money on my credit card to cover the plane tickets.” Again she found herself blinking rapidly. “But I don’t have enough to rent a car out there.” As she spoke she lifted the necklace Tom had given her out of her bag. “If I can I’d like to leave this with you as collateral. I promise I will pay the money back as soon as possible.”

Tom sat back in his chair. “So you want to borrow money from me so you can rent a car and you want to leave that necklace here as collateral?”

She could see he was upset. “I’m sorry.” She said quickly. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“You should be sorry.” Tom said gruffly. “Here I thought you understood I think of you as family and you’re trying to leave that necklace I gave you.”

“Because I need to borrow money.” Ayasha sputtered.

Tom sighed, “Ayasha, don’t you get it, I trust you completely. Of course I’ll lend you some money but you’re not gonna leave that necklace here, that ain’t necessary.” He could see she was growing more and more upset. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Ayasha tried to take a calming breath. “I’m just worried” She said softly then added, “And scared.”

“Scared?”

“Scared about my friend and about flying.” She admitted.

“Never flown before?”

She shook her head.

“Well you’ll do fine.” He smiled hoping to ease her mind. “Want me to drive you to the airport?”

As much as she wished she could take him up on his sweet offer she knew she needed to be alone to face what she must do. “No, I’m just going to leave my car there.”

He nodded, “Okay now about renting a car. Why don’t we handle that right now?” He turned to his computer. “I’ll reserve the car in your name, that will make it much easier for you.”

“Oh.” She nodded, “Yes, thank you.”

Once all the details were completed and he knew a car would be waiting for her he sat back in his chair again. “Okay, now you should be all set.”

“Tom, thank you so much.” Ayasha hated that she was again feeling weepy. “I can’t tell you how much your help means to me.”

“You don’t have to.” He smiled, “Families don’t have to thank each other for nothing.” He stood. “Okay then. Seems to me you should head home now.”

She was immediately on her feet. “What?”

“Honey, it’s pretty obvious you’re a mess. I get that you’re upset about your friend. Take the rest of today off, get ready for your trip.”

“That’s not necessary.”

He laughed, “Well since I’m the boss I get to decide what’s necessary.” He reached into his back pocket to retrieve his wallet. “Here.” He said extending some bills towards her.

Ayasha immediately shook her head. “I don’t need anything else.”

“You can’t take a trip without having emergency money with you.”

“Really Tom, I don’t need it.”

He sighed, “Fine then give it back to me if you don’t use it.” He forced the money into her hand.

Ayasha was about to speak when Dawn appeared at the door. “Sorry to interrupt but I have a customer who’s interested in the roll top desk but wants to know more about it’s history.”

Tom nodded to her. “Be there in a minute.”

Dawn smiled then turned to leave.

Ayasha was staring at the money in her hand. “Tom, I don’t want anyone to know where I’m going.” She was concerned that Dawn would possibly think she was going to Los Angeles because of Gerard. While of course that was the truth no one would understand why.

He nodded, “Sure, sure. No problem. Give me a call if you have any problems, okay?”

Ayasha nodded.

Tom placed his arm around her shoulder. “You’ll be okay.” He said softly. “And I hope your friend pulls through.”

“Thank you.” She whispered.

“Told you not to thank me.” Tom smiled.

Together they walked back to the front of the store. Dawn was still over chatting with the customer by the roll top desk. As Ayasha gathered up her other bag containing the bracelet she’d made Dawn walked over.

“You’re leaving?” She asked Ayasha.

“She’s taking the day off.” Tom answered for her.

“Oh” Dawn wasn’t surprised she’d known something was wrong.

“I will be back on Wednesday.” Ayasha added.

Dawn nodded wishing she’d explain why.

“Better get over there.” Tom said looking over towards the customers. He started to walk away when Dawn spoke.

“Oh we need change.”

Tom sighed, “I’ll handle things here while you run to the bank.”

As much as she wanted to get home to Gerard Ayasha volunteered to handle the situation.

“No need.” Tom answered. “We got things covered.” He gave Ayasha a wink.

Dawn grabbed her purse intending to walk out with Ayasha. The rain was beginning to pick up as they walked towards their cars.

“You okay?” Dawn asked looking over at Ayasha.

“I’m fine.” She forced herself to smile but offered no other information.

Neither woman realized that they were being watched from across the street.

As the two cars left the parking lot Kyle made an illegal U-Turn to follow. Seeing that Ayasha was headed home he chose to follow Dawn. She only drove two blocks then pulled into the banks parking lot. He smiled to himself as he got out of the car.

“Hey Dawn.’ He’d timed it perfect. “How are you today?” He asked as he pulled open the door for her.

“Hi Kyle.” Dawn smiled. “I’m good. How are you?”

Not sure if she knew what had happened between himself and Ayasha he played this cards slowly. “I’m doing okay.”

They were now in the banks lobby. Dawn unaware of what had happened between him and Ayasha felt undeserved compassion for Kyle. He’d told her often about how much pain the breakup with Ayasha had caused him. “It takes time.” She said believing he was still upset about the breakup.

Kyle nodded, “Yeah, I know.” This was better than he’d hoped. He wanted information about Ayasha and here was his chance. “So how’s she doing?”

Dawn sighed, “I’m not sure.”

He forced himself to sound concerned. “Something not wrong is it? I mean I’ve been thinking a lot about her but…well I’ve tried to stay away. I know she doesn’t want to see me anymore.”

Dawn honestly felt bad for him. “I don’t know what’s going on with her. I keep hoping she’ll talk to me but you know Ayasha.”

It was hard for him not to let his true feeling show on his face, yeah, I know the bitch, he thought. “She keeps things to herself.” He said with a nod.

“Yes.” Dawn nodded, “She does but I worry. And I wonder where she’s going.”

“Going?”

Dawn suddenly wondered if she’d said too much. “Uh, I’ve got to get change for the store.”

Kyle wasn’t about to let her comment pass. “Wait, Ayasha is going somewhere?”

He truly looked concerned. “Not that I’m supposed to know but I walked in on her talking to Tom. They were talking about some sort of trip. Guess she’s leaving tomorrow.”

“Really?” he filed that important piece of information away. “But you don’t know where she’s going?”

Dawn shook her head.

Kyle sighed playing the part of the dejected ex-fiance. “Well I hope she stays safe. Any idea how long she’ll be gone?”

“She said she’ll be back on Wednesday.” Realizing she needed to get back to the store she started walking towards the counter. “Well, I’ve got to get the change then get back.”

“Sure, sure.” Kyle smiled, “Nice talking to you.” He watched until Dawn had reached the counter and began speaking to the teller before he left the bank. Back in his car he smiled thinking how perfect the meeting with Dawn had worked out. His fury at Ayasha was boiling as he pulled out of the lot.

“I’ll get even with you bitch.” He said as a plan formed in his mind. “No one fucks with me.”

_____________________________________________

Ayasha quickly gathered her things then left the car. The rain was starting to come down in sheets as she reached the porch. Slipping the key in the lock she tried to get her nerves under control but it was impossible. Right now the only thing she needed was to see Gerard.

Pushing the door open her heart began to race when she didn’t see him. A moment later she remembered what he’d said about laying on the sofa. Rushing across the room her fears were lessened somewhat when she was him. However his eyes were closed and he wasn’t moving.

“Gerard.” She cried out falling to her knees next to the sofa.

Still he didn’t move.

“Please.” She whispered touching his face. “Come back to me.”

Slowly his eyes fluttered open.

“Thank God.” She fell on his chest burying her face in his neck. When his arms slowly encircled her it took every ounce of her willpower not to cry.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He crooned. “I’m here with you.”

Neither realized at that moment this would be the last time Ayasha would walk into her home to find him waiting.