Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto > Eroninja
Severing Bonds
Naruto is given a scroll containing the secrets of making women fall for him, a scroll he uses at first on the women around him but soon on the shinobi world as a whole, giving birth to the Ero-ninja.
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Reviews
Eroninja
(#) chachu 2013-07-10
I really love this story....it started as a porn story with a plot and now it's better than the actual manga since you allow other characters to develop not just Naruto.
Curious as to how Mito will be included and if she will teach Naruto any kick ass seals, I will seriously laugh if in the end of this story Naruto ends up the ten tails' jinchuuriki.
Your attention to detail is astounding by the way...even little things like the zetsu personality problem are accounted for.
keep up the good work.Eroninja
(#) weird-d 2013-07-10
It took me three damn hours to read this... and I loved every second of it. I really like how much more mature Naruto is here compared with his 'I'm gonna save everyone no matter what' canon attitude. Indeed, your version of Naruto has to make tough choices that force him to grow up, instead of remaining a blind optimistic brat.
On a side note, as for a manga with great support characters who get their fair share of awesome momments, I'd recommend 'Dragon Quest - Dai no Daibouken'Eroninja
(#) jupmod 2013-07-10
Wow! Very intense battle between Sasuke and Naruto, and yep, this is what I really think canon-Naruto should do. It makes no sense if Naruto sacrifice his friends and Konoha for Sasuke, at least Eroninja-Naruto knows better.
So Ino is at peace regarding Naruto, and now she joins the ranks of women who truly are in love with him - Ayame, Sakura, and I'm sure others. Maybe you should do a story arc with the same theme for Hinata. I know she so much want to have red chakra to show she loves Naruto, yet it's sad that she is not getting there while girls like Ino and Sakura easily get there despite they had abused him before. Let's get Hinata there. :)
Okay now, I'm going to disagree with you regarding Kurenai. I know you're aiming to have her part of the harem, but I think you're going overboard with getting every woman in the series to be part of Naruto's harem, especially the women in Konoha. If you have let Kurenai stay the way she is, it would not have affected the overall story anyway IMO.
Anyway, now that the Alliance will not happen in Eroninja, does this mean Naruto have to 'fuck' his way into forming the Alliance? He just have to seduce Mei to get Kiri into the already Naruto Alliance. I don't know about Iwa, if he manages to seduce Kurotsuchi whether she would be helpful in securing Iwa into the Alliance.
Look forward to the next chapter. :)Eroninja
(#) jadedphoenix 2013-07-10
Sorry, didn't have much free time to properly review, to do these last 2 chps justice!
So in short: Awesome, Incredible, and All That!
All fanfic writers could learn a lesson or two from this.
Thanks for the readEroninja
(#) wolverine9 2013-07-11
So you took one of the few confirmed pairings in Naruto, broke it up, and had a pregnant woman miscarry just to add her to a harem in a story that is somehow more heavyhanded with morals than the actual manga. Kind of a dick move.Author's response
If you say so. But with it being one of the confirmed pairings it makes it more real for a lack of a better term. Furthermore it is a lasting reminder of what Pain was. I know people liked the bring back the dead angle, but to me if you're going to show people embracing Naruto's path they need to actually still be feeling the pain of loss. Otherwise it's just lip service.Eroninja
(#) Seed00 2013-07-11
It took 18 chapters for Naruto and Ino to get back together. Kiyomi and Naruto are five chapters and counting with their issues. Naruto and Anko 12 chapters and counting.
Nothing to comment on aside from that. Bee is serious trouble from here on out. Let's see, burned by Yugito or electrocuted by A. Only you can tell Sage.Eroninja
(#) sterata 2013-07-11
Awesome battle, with a good solid end. I always hated sas-gay and to see him so man handled by someone who folloed the correct path is awesome. Its great to see when someone who just destroys his bonds and becomes a criminal to gain power sees what following the good program can do.Eroninja
(#) n0mster 2013-07-11
Wow,another truly fantastic chapter, once again the plot developments were enthralling and the battles rivetting. Like you mentioned in your author note, it's amazing how you integrated and kept track of the many battles both in this and the previous chapter, clearly illustrating the varied prowess of Naruto's harem and showing that they were and continue to be fantastically skilled kunoichi and they're only getting better.
I have to admit that I'm not the biggest fan of Sasuke, and his actions both in canon and in your fic have far from redeemed him in my eyes. So I was quite apprehensive to see what you had planned for him and I'm glad to say that you didn't disappoint. The way you had things developed clearly showed that both Naruto and Mikoto wanted to bring him back, which was certainly in-line with their established characters, but when Sasuke proved to be truly intractable, Naruto was willing to put an end to his villainy, which it indeed was since at this point he simply wished to inflict 'his' pain upon Konoha. It's unfortunate that Mikoto had to have such a rude awakening, but it had to be something suitably harsh to display to her without any illusions that Sasuke was beyond hope at this point.
As for the fight between Naruto and Sasuke, I'm glad that you had Naruto suitably steam-roll him, though it was unfortunate that it seemed like Sasuke was able to get quite a few blows on Naruto, such as when he redirected Naruto into blowing up the wall and such. I assume that this was in order to relocate the fight and for plot development. I'm really glad however that you didn't make it such that their fight was hard-fought and even, since Naruto should be one an entirely different level than Sasuke at present, especially after going up against Pein, and Sasuke and his group losing out to Killer Bee. Anyway, I hold out hope that in this story, Sasuke doesn't go about redeeming himself, or if he gains his redemption, it'd be in a similar way to Nagato, with him dying right after his revelation.
On another note, I thought the fight between Yugito and Kisame was captivating as hell, it was great to see how the Jinchuuriki's skills have developed since she got ahold of the tailed-beast's chakra and the abilities that have subsequently manifested were really entertaining to watch. The fact that she squashed Kisame in their battle was great, and it seemed like her abilities were almost uniquely suited for defeating the blue-skinned swordsman. Then again, it's possible that Naruto's other jinchuuriki lovers made by able to make their chakra unpalatable for Kisame's sword as well.
Wow, there were so many great battles this chapter that I find myself rambling on so much. Also, the fight between Haku and Suigetsu was extremely satisfying, their match-up was another one made in hell or is it heaven, since Haku is one of the few kunoichi whose abilities directly counteract Suigetsu's greatest advantage. I'm also curious as to whether the swordsman is in fact dead, since his entire body was after all frozen and then shattered by Haku, even his fate is left as an assumption by Haku so it's entirely possible that the death of the Taka member was 'accidental'. Fortunately, Kubikiribōchō is not back in Haku's hand, though I wonder how effective it will be, then again she might surprise us all in how proficient she is in kenjutsu, or another of Naruto's lovers might utilise it with Haku's permission(Yuugao comes to mind). On another note, I wish there was a female member of Suigetsu's clan that Naruto could seduce, a kunoichi possessing his abilities would be a great addition to Naruto's harem.
Another interesting event that occurred was the scene with Shukaku, where it appears that the Ichibi has calmed down from its rampage, and now appears to be quite intrigued with what has occurred with its fellow bijuu. What I found even more interesting was the fact that all three of the freed ex-bijuu appear to have become more powerful according to Shukaku, seems like Naruto's influence is truly having a tangible advantageous effect on them. Hopefully, Shukaku will be convinced to join Naruto's crusade (and harem), and I'm curious to see what her form will be, maybe taking elements from Gaara's mother's form or a female Gaara? Haha, then again I don't think we've found out what Seven Choumei looks like, other than she's brunette, I guess it's all possible that her appearance is going change and then we'll find out how exactly she looks like.
Of note as well was the whole Konohamaru discovering Naruto's involvement with multiple women and while I was apprehensive at first, I'm glad that it turned out well, fortunately the honourable grandson didn't appear interested in Naruto's 'Temptation's Touch', and that he only wants to court Naho, who seems to already have become interested.
On another note, I was glad to see that Ino has finally patched things up with Naruto, though unfortunately it appears that clouds are still on the horizon with regards to Anko. In addition, there was the tragedy with Kurenai, which really gave me mixed feelings, since I was hoping that in the beginning that she'd end up with Naruto, but after her relationship with Asuma and her subsequent child, I had given up hope. Then the war with Pein happened and the events culminated in her tragic losses. Hopefully, Naruto's entry into her life will eventually clear away all the dredges of her sadness as he brings a light into her world brighter than any she's seen before.
As always, really enjoyed reading this chapter and I look forward to your next update.
Eroninja
(#) Nomugendai 2013-07-12
Always good to see another chapter of yours. On a side note, I think it's bullshit that Naruto in the manga never received a field promotion. There's no way those don't exist. Still, quite glad to see you've made Naruto willing to put Sasuke down (his canon redemption is complete bullshit). Too many authors seem to think that if a character decides to kill someone, he's being evil. If they have a sexual thought, they're being a pervert. If they call someone on their bullshit, they're not taking the higher road.
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